America's Favorite Couple

By Renee Darcy

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to find love on a reality TV show? America’s Favorite Couple is a satirical romp through the often unbelievable world of reality TV. What if you really could find love in front of a camera?

Reality TV isn’t always easy – or real. Take a look inside America’s Favorite Cou

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bright Little Light Press
• Release date: Feb 13, 2017
• ISBN: 9781946804013

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Week Four

Casey stood in front of the open, floor-length windows, staring into the rainy afternoon as though her azure eyes could pierce the gloom and find the object of her thoughts. A long, loose sea-green gown billowed around her in the breeze, striking against her slim figure and sun-bronzed skin.

A voice spoke in her ear. That’s a great shot, Casey, praised her personal production assistant, from some remote room where he was staring at her feed. Now, why don’t you go lie on the bed and seem upset and kind of listless?

Sighing, Casey turned away from the window and glided the few steps across the small room. She draped herself artfully across the bed, her long chestnut hair fanning onto the pillow as though each strand had been individually choreographed. She stared off into space, waiting.

A few moments passed, and then Vince was back in her ear again. Perfect! I think we’ve got all the B roll we need for now, but obviously we’ll keep rolling in case something interesting happens. But I think you’ve got some free time for the next few hours until we hear something about Nicholas.

Casey sighed and sat up. Left to her own devices, she stood and strode back to the window again. The rain was too heavy to see very far, but she stared out into the gray afternoon anyway, waiting for the next snippet of news - or the next summons from her invisible but demanding taskmaster.

Ok, Neil, this is the stop where we need you to get off, Sandra’s voice popped into his ear. He stood and moved toward the doors, balancing effortlessly against the swaying as the subway pulled into the station. He ignored the looks that came his way when the camera and sound guys got up to follow him.

After exiting the train, Sandra gave him a quick set of directions through the earpiece. He waded through the crowd, moving easily into the spaces that opened up whenever someone noticed the production crew following him.

As he left the station and the crowd thinned out, the camera and sound guys became more conspicuous. Neil stood out, too, with his perfectly styled dark hair, his chiseled features, and his casual but smoking hot without trying too hard shirt and jeans. He carried his leather jacket slung over his shoulder like a 50s rock icon, and he moved with the fluid grace of a runner. His face was composed and solemn, as suited his task.

When he reached his destination, he took out a photo and showed it to the woman at the admissions counter. Have you seen this boy?

The woman looked at the photo, then stared for a moment at Neil. Her gaze moved pointedly to take in the camera. I’m sorry, sir, but what’s this about?

A member of the production crew stepped forward, and pulled the woman aside. He spoke to her for a few moments, while the line grew behind Neil. He glanced back to see a handful of families waiting impatiently to go inside, children in tow who were betraying various states of impatience.

After a quiet but intense dialogue, the woman came back over and motioned to Neil. This way, please, sir. We do have a missing children’s station, and I believe the young man you’re looking for might be there.

His face relaxed as he followed her into the arena. She led him down a series of corridors into a small room, where the boy waited with a bored-looking security guard. Neil! he cried out as he dashed forward.

The woman smiled as she watched the enthusiastic greeting. Well, I guess there’s no doubt you know this young man - and that you can get him back where he belongs.

Neil nodded, wrapping an arm protectively around the child’s shoulders. I’ll make sure he gets back to his mother safely. Thank you very much for your help. He reached out to shake the woman’s hand, and she smiled crookedly at him in return.

My pleasure, she crooned, her tone suggestive.

Neil pointedly failed to take the hint, and turned to lead the child back the way they had come. The camera panned to follow him, and the woman, now offscreen, found herself instead left with the production assistant and a lengthy form.

Neil headed out, unconcerned with the paperwork. Sandra spoke up in his ear. You might want to say something to the boy. Something parental. You are a concerned adult who came all this way to look for him, after all.

Neil looked over as he walked. So, Nicholas - care to explain how you ended up here? Your mom’s worried sick, and we’ve all been out looking for you all afternoon.

Nicholas rolled his eyes, and tried unsuccessfully to wiggle out from under Neil’s arm. "I told her I wanted to go to the circus for my birthday, but she said we had to wait until the show’s done filming and we could celebrate my birthday then. That’s months from now!" His voice contained all the impatience and angst of a newly-minted nine-year-old.

Neil couldn’t help himself - he grinned and mussed the kid’s brown hair. So you came on your own, did you? Rode the subway all by yourself and found your way here without any help at all?

Nicholas refused to look at him. I’m nine now. It’s time I started having real adventures of my own.

Neil smirked, but his tone was friendly. Have you read any books about people your age having adventures? Which one is your favorite?

Narnia! Nicholas shouted immediately. Those kids got to rule an entire kingdom. Peter was 13 when they started having adventures in Narnia, and Lucy was only 8 the first time she went - and she became the most loved ruler of all of them! He was practically dancing in his excitement.

Neil chuckled, but then his face turned serious. All right. But do you understand that those stories are based on a magical, made-up place?

The boy’s excitement turned to a pout. Yeah. Mom says they’re just stories. None of it really happened.

Neil nodded. I know they’re fun stories, and it’s exciting to think about having the kinds of adventures that the Pevensies had. But here in the real world, there isn’t a magical wardrobe that will take you back to your home when you’re done having adventures. You could get lost, or hurt, or a bad person could try to do something mean to you. Your mom worries about all this stuff when you take off on your own. He stopped walking, and knelt down until he was eye-to-eye with Nicholas. You don’t want to make her worry about all that stuff, do you? Or risk getting so lost that you’re not able to find her again, and not able to get home?

Nicholas’s eyes turned big and round as he stared back at Neil. No, he answered, and while there was still a hint of pout, it was clear that Neil’s speech had gotten through.

Good. So let’s get you home to her, hey kiddo? Neil roughed up his hair again, and Nicholas shrugged away, giggling, but followed Neil without complaint back into the subway station.

Good work, champ, Sandra cheered into his earpiece. That’ll be ratings gold!

When they were safely seated on the subway car - in a space his production team had cleared out for them - Nicholas tugged on Neil’s coat. When Neil looked down, the boy stared back, his sky blue eyes soft and round. I’m glad you’re probably my daddy.

Neil’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. What did you just say, kid?

Nicholas answered him matter-of-factly. My mommy told me you were probably my daddy, but she wasn’t for sure because you were gone before I was born. But I’m glad you’re probably my daddy.

Neil shook his head. I’m sorry, kid, but your mom must be confused. I’ve only known her for a few weeks, and you just turned nine. There’s no way I could be your dad. When the boy’s face fell, Neil added: But if I did have a son, I’d want him to be as brave and adventurous - and considerate of his mom - as you are.

Nicholas snuggled into his side, contented again. The boy closed his eyes, dozing off after his adventure, and Neil’s face turned stormy.

I take it back, Sandra amended in his earpiece. "This is going to be ratings gold."

Mommy! cried the happy boy, running into the arms of a kneeling Casey. She rocked him back and forth as she squeezed him, eyes tightly closed.

Niko, she crooned as she held him close. I was so worried! Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes, unshed, as she let him go and leaned back to look at him. Are you alright?

Yeah, he answered nonchalantly. I was a little worried when the police man told me I needed to come with him. But then Neil came and brought me back, so that was ok.

Casey looked up at Neil, standing awkwardly in the doorway, trying not to intrude into the intimate reunion. Thank you so much, she said, while gently rubbing Niko’s back. I don’t have words to thank you enough for bringing my boy home to me.

Neil nodded. Sure. Anyone would have done the same, he replied dismissively. Listen, I don’t want to intrude on your family moment, but I really need to talk to you after you get him settled back in. Nicholas had some very interesting things to say while we were coming back, and I need to clear the air.

Casey’s face turned serious. Alright. Let me feed him and get him settled, and then I’ll come find you. As Neil started to turn away, she added: But I’m serious. None of this ‘anyone would have done the same’ stuff. She sniffed. I am sincerely grateful to you for bringing back my son.

Neil nodded, then left the doorway.

Casey turned back to Nicholas. So, Niko! First of all, you’re in big trouble for running off like that without a word to me. His face started to screw up in complaint, but Casey plowed on before he could start whining. But we’ll deal with that later. Right now, let’s get you something to eat, and you can tell me about the day you had.

She stood and took his hand, leading him toward the kitchen.

Personally, I’m more interested in the conversation you’re going to have with Neil later, Vince said in her ear. ‘Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do!’

Casey smiled for the camera, the happy mother dutifully leading her son off to feed him, but her eyes turned steely.

Casey knocked on the open door frame, and Neil swiveled in his desk chair to face her. He stood when he saw her waiting there, and waved her into the room. His feet were bare, the top few buttons of his shirt were undone, and his jeans hung low on his waist. In short, he looked like sex on a stick.

Casey stepped into the room and sat opposite Neil on the cushioned window seat in front of his open windows. The rain had stopped, and a cool breeze fluttered into the room now and again, fluttering the curtains. His room looked onto the back of the property, with a view of the courtyard, the pool and the other wings of the mansion forming a U-shape with a view down to the ocean. Several of their housemates were out there now, enjoying the temporary elevation in lifestyle that the mansion offered.

She took a deep breath. So. You said Niko had something interesting to say to you this afternoon?

His eyes fixed on her face. She refused to meet his gaze, and her face was serious. Casey, it seems like you might have something to tell me. From the way you’re acting right now, I think you have a good idea of what Nicholas said to me.

She averted her gaze even more, turning her face toward the courtyard. That depends. Did he tell you about his father?

Neil sighed. He told me that you said I’m probably his dad. He bent toward her, his nearness demanding she turn to face him. Casey, what the Hell? I’ve known you for a matter of weeks - why would he think I’m his dad? I haven’t even kissed you, for Christ’s sake!

She crossed her arms under her breasts but stood her ground, refusing to meet his gaze but not moving away from his invasion of her space. Neil, she began calmly, her voice quiet in contrast to his anger. Do you remember meeting a woman while you were out running in Central Park, almost ten years ago? You broke her iPod and bought her a new one, and spent the day and the night with her?

Finally, she turned to look at him. Her eyes were pained.

Neil’s mouth hung open. How do you know that? Her name was Marie, she was blonde…

She shook her head. My middle name is Marie. I had just met you, you literally ran into me in the park - I didn’t want to give you too much identifiable information until I knew you weren’t a creep. But then you vanished.

He shook his head, echoing her gesture. You’re the one who vanished. But… Marie - Casey - I can’t believe this is happening. He paused, continuing to shake his head. I’ve pictured telling you this a thousand times, but not like this, and not after so many years. His blank gaze sharpened, and he stared intently into her eyes, taking her hands. Casey, when I left your apartment that morning, I was literally hit by a bus. His hands squeezed hers. I was in a coma for six weeks, then I was in the hospital rehabilitating from my injuries for another two months after I woke up. It was nearly four months later when I came looking for you.

As he spoke, her mouth opened into an ‘o.’ Her hands came up to cover her mouth as she listened to his recitation.

My God, Neil! I had no idea. She dropped her hands to grab his again, leaning close. I’m so sorry! All these years, I thought you just… didn’t bother to call.

No way! He shook his head vehemently. I was gonna call you right after I got home. I couldn’t decide whether to ask you for dinner, or beg you to come have lunch with me. I was way, way into you.

Somehow, the two of them had become entwined. Her head rested against his shoulder as she leaned into him, her arms wrapped around his waist. His arms came around her shoulders and he held her close.

I was going to call you, but everything on me that day got destroyed. No phone number, no cell phone. By the time I was able to leave the hospital and come looking for you at your apartment, you weren’t there. I was asking for someone named Marie and they told me nobody by that name had ever lived there. I half wondered if I’d imagined it all in the coma.

Her eyes closed and her lips squeezed together. By then, I would have moved out already. I figured out I was pregnant pretty quickly, but you never called, so I decided I should go home to have the baby. I needed my family’s support - having a baby on my own in Manhattan wasn’t even something I considered.

He held her for a moment, but then he leaned back and gently lifted her chin to face him. Casey, are you telling me that Nicholas really is my son? Why did he say ‘probably,’ then?

She grimaced. Because I can’t really say for sure. She let go of him and shifted back a few inches, putting space between them. That day when I met you - I had just gotten out of a relationship. I’d been dating the guy for months, but we’d just broken up when I spent the night with you. Her chin dropped and she wrapped her arms around herself. I’m not proud of it, but I wasn’t expecting to meet someone when I met you. I sure as heck wasn’t expecting to jump right into bed with someone.

She looked back up at him. There was no-one after you… I kept waiting for you to call… but I had just broken up with Mike. So I can’t be sure that Niko isn’t his. I just always hoped he was yours - I wanted nothing to do with Mike - so I guess I’ve always just told Niko - and myself - that you were his dad.

Neil sighed heavily. Wow. What a mess.

Casey nodded, then smiled tremulously. Understatement of the century.

He gazed at her intently, his expression serious. Casey, did it never occur to you to do a paternity test? Nicholas has a right to know who his father is. If it’s me, I have a right to know I have a son out there. He gestured broadly, his voice rising. For that matter, so does the other guy if it’s him. I can’t speak for him, but I would definitely have wanted to be a part of his life if Nicholas was mine. I would never have wanted a son of mine to grow up without a father.

Casey stood and backed up a few steps, extending her hands to ward off his anger. Neil, I thought you were out. Intentionally. I wasn’t going to be one of those women who ‘caught’ a man with a baby. She shook her head dismissively. "And if it was Mike - I told you, I wanted nothing to do with him. I wouldn’t have wanted him around even if he was Nicholas’s father."

Neil stood, moving toward her. Well, that’s not just your decision to make. He, or I, have a right to be a part of Niko’s life if one of us is the father. You don’t get to decide for us. That’s what custody hearings are for. And there’s the matter of child support…

Casey shook her head more violently, twisting around Neil and backing toward the door. See, this is all the stuff I was trying to avoid. I never asked for child support - I’ve raised Niko on my own all these years - and in return, the dad, whoever he might be, has no claim on my son.

He grabbed her wrist, holding her in place. Casey, that’s bullshit. Just because the woman bears the child doesn’t mean that child belongs solely to her, or that she has a right to hide its existence from the father. Every kid has two parents, and should have a right to both of them.

Casey tugged ineffectually at her wrist. Neil’s grip was iron; she wasn’t able to free herself, so she stood her ground, stiffening her spine and squaring her shoulders against him. I can see that I’ve given you a lot to think about. And yes, you’ve got a valid point there - I’m sorry I never really thought about it from the father’s point of view. Mostly I just assumed a guy would be happy to be let off the hook. I’m sure that’s how Mike would have felt, and I thought that was how you felt since you never called me back. He started to speak, but she shook her head. I think we both have some thinking to do. So why don’t you let me go, and we’ll talk again tomorrow.

He stared down to where he still held her wrist and released her, seeming almost startled to find his hand wrapped so firmly around her arm. Before she could leave the room, though, he reached toward her again, stopping short of actually grabbing her. Just do me one favor, Casey. We can talk about all the rest of this after we’ve both had time to process. But the one thing I’d ask of you - will you consent to a paternity test so I can know for sure whether Nicholas is mine?

She looked down at the floor, refusing to meet his gaze. I can see now how I might owe you that much, at least. I won’t deny the request, if that’s what you really want. But making it happen might be complicated.

He stepped toward her lightly, his expression softer. We can ask to talk to Nathan tomorrow and see what we can figure out. I’m sure that once we explain things, he’ll help us get to the bottom of this. His arms stole gently around her, and he pulled her into a tender embrace.

It’s good to finally see you again, Marie.

Her arms came around his waist, and her shoulders trembled as she sobbed softly against his chest.

In another room, with muted microphones, a group producers were giving each other high-fives, and someone had broken out a couple of bottles of champaign. Ratings gold.

Casey glided into the large, open floorpan living space where her housemate Richard and three of the kids were hanging out around a large table. Nicholas had finished his dinner, and Richard was just clearing the plates, while the two girls, Cassidy and Natalie, played a card game. When Casey entered the room, Nicholas ran to her and threw his arms around her waist.

Mom! She smiled down at him and returned the hug. Can we watch a movie now?

She ruffled his hair and crossed the room, smiling at the girls in greeting. I did promise, didn’t I? How about something we haven’t seen in a while - maybe Bolt?

Yeah! Niko cheered, running across the room and jumping into the middle of the large sectional couch, feet first. Dogs are the best! We can get a dog when we get home, right mom?

Casey laughed as the girls ran across the room to join Nicholas on the couch. Why don’t we wait and see, ok?

Cassidy spoke up next to him. Cats are the best. Dogs just drool and stink and bark a lot. Cats are refined, independent pets. They’re not always begging for attention, they’re quiet, they clean up after themselves and you don’t have to walk them outside and pick up their poo. A very mature ten, Cassidy presented her views in an affected, matter-of-fact manner. This sparked a heated debate between the three children as to which pet was the best.

Casey strolled over to where Richard was rinsing the dinner plates and leaned against the counter next to him. Thanks for looking after him for me. I can sit with the three of them while they watch the movie. Why don’t you take the rest of the evening off? Enjoy some non-dad time with the singles?

Richard smiled in his easy way, his wide grin and white teeth positively sparkling in his handsome, tanned face. Casey admired his wide shoulders while he dried the last plate, then put it away in the cupboard. Nah, he finally offered, turning to face her as he draped the dish towel over the front of the deep sink. I’m old and tired and worn down. I don’t feel like competing with the young bucks tonight. Some family time sounds like just the ticket. His broad grin belied the humor in his self-deprecating comments; he might not be as cut as some of the younger guys, but he had a solid, commanding physique that formed a very attractive complement to his single dad status.

Without waiting for a response, he wandered over to where the kids were now full-on bickering on the sectional. It was a few short moments from turning physical, but the three of them settled down as he stretched his full length along one side of the sectional, closest to Cassidy. Their matching blonde hair and blue eyes formed a pretty family picture as Casey crossed toward them.

So, Natalie, what’s your mom up to tonight? she asked the third child, black-haired and brown-eyed Natalie, who was there without her parent.

She’s on a two-on-one date, Natalie answered tersely, without looking up from where she was intently examining her shoes.

Oh, with whom? Casey asked, trying to draw the child into conversation.

Two of the guys, Natalie responded, oblivious in the way where it wasn’t quite obvious if she was just being a child or if she was being a smartass.

Casey grinned as she stretched out on the side of the sectional opposite Richard. He grinned back. Ok. Movie time! She used her smartphone to wake up the massive entertainment system and navigate to Bolt, while Niko cheered and offered helpful comments in an attempt to get her to start the movie more quickly.

Soon, the three children were deeply engrossed in the movie, Niko cheering and laughing loudly whenever Bolt did something particularly entertaining, and the girls championing Mittens the cat. It was a rowdy, animated scene, with Casey or Richard occasionally interjecting to keep the peace or pose a thought-provoking comprehension question.

Drawn by the noise, Neil stood in the doorway, watching the domestic picture the five of them posed. After a few silent moments unobserved, he ambled into the room, heading toward the cabinets and rummaging around. Neither the kids nor the adults payed him any attention.

Closing the cabinets without taking anything out, Neil walked over to the sectional, stopping to stand behind the kids as they chatted and gestured to the screen. What movie are you guys watching? he asked no-one in particular.

Bolt! Niko answered enthusiastically, pointing as the dog came onto the screen. Neil nodded.

After another moment of standing awkwardly behind the sofa, he offered: Looks like fun. I think I’ll watch with you guys. He moved around the sectional to sit on one of the nearby chairs, as the only spots left on the sectional were next to Richard’s or Casey’s reclined feet. Casey smiled at him, but her attention quickly focused back on the kids and the movie.

A few minutes later, Cassidy interrupted the animated conversation to interject: I need to use the restroom. Casey paused the movie and sat up, as Cassidy excused herself and headed off to the nearest bathroom.

How about you two? she asked Natalie and Niko. Do either of you need to use the bathroom? Both of them nodded, so she stood. Richard started to stand up with her, but she motioned him to stay put. I’ve got it. Off to the bathroom, troops - I’m on hand duty!

Aww, mom! Niko complained loudly, while Natalie got up quietly and went along without any fuss. A moment later, the three