Crackpots, Crooks, and Cowboys (Book 2 of a Stratham Town Father Andrew Trilogy)

By Gerald Lopez

While trying to solve the mystery of his heart, Father Andrew has his hands full. It seems he’s made an enemy who has it in for him. And this enemy’s attacks are escalating. With the help of Officer Tate, Vincent, and others will Father Andrew be able to find the person behind the evil deeds inflicted on him before it’s too late?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gerald Lopez
• Release date: Jun 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370691166

Gerald Lopez

Gerald was called to write at various times in his life. When he was young, the writing consisted of plays and short stories. Then he explored the fine arts and literature, earning a bachelor’s degree in the latter while minoring in art history. In his studies he was fascinated by and enjoyed analyzing characters, their personalities and motivations. To him it’s always been the characters who make a story special. Once again writing has taken hold of him. In the past it was just an amusement, but now—for Gerald—writing is a passion to live, eat, and breathe.

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Copyright © 2017 by Gerald Lopez

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Art Copyright © 2017 by Gerald Lopez

Acknowledgments

My special thanks go to Beta readers: Brandi, Joyce, Johanna, and anyone else whose name might have gotten away from me, for their comments, and often extremely helpful suggestions.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

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About the author

Other books by Gerald Lopez

Crackpots, Crooks, and Cowboys

Book Two of a

Stratham Town Father Andrew Trilogy

Chapter 1

VINCENT’S HEART RACED when Father Andrew’s lips touched his. He could barely believe it when their tongues met. The feel of Father Andrew’s body on top of his was more than he could take.

Stop, Vincent said.

Father Andrew sat up on his elbows and looked down at Vincent with a confused expression on his face. Am I doing something wrong, Vince?

No—yes! Vincent said. This is wrong… so wrong—all of it.

Father Andrew kissed Vincent’s neck but Vincent pushed him back and got up.

What’s the matter? Father Andrew said.

Tate was right, Vincent said, as he paced around the living room of monastery house. I should’ve listened to him because the dumb ass was right.

About what? Father Andrew said as he sat up on the sofa. Exactly what was your ex bully turned good buddy right about?

We can’t do this, Andrew, Vincent said.

"Why not… or rather, what makes Tate think that we shouldn’t be doing what we were just doing?

I can’t be your first, Vincent said, running a hand through the straight, longish front part of his strawberry blond hair. If things go wrong you’ll hate me.

Didn’t I make it clear to you that I could never hate you, Father Andrew said, then took a bite of Vincent’s birthday cupcake.

Hey, don’t I get the first bite since I’m the birthday boy, Vincent said.

Father Andrew held the cupcake in front of his crotch, looked at Vincent and smiled. Go for it, birthday boy.

Oh my God, Vincent said and put his hands to his face exasperated. What are we doing here, Andrew? How far were you planning to go?

You did wish for a birthday kiss, did you not? Father Andrew said, then removed the tank top he wore.

Did you at least get me a present? Vincent said, trying not to look at Father Andrew who’d begun lowering the waistband of his shorts.

I’m your present, Vince. All of me. You just need to unwrap—

This isn’t fair, Vincent said.

What? Father Andrew said. I’m being serious here… I’m yours, Vince.

How? Vincent said. After everything that’s happened at the school, the explosions—Brent’s split personality—the murders and acid… and Morgan—how is it you’re sitting on the sofa almost naked!

I learned something through all that happened, Father Andrew said. Life is too short and precious not to take the risks one needs to in order to be happy.

This isn’t you, Vincent said. This is the Andrew of my erotic fantasies, not the analytical, deep thinker—

This is Andrew Madera, a humble man presenting himself to the person he cares about most in the world. And I’m apparently being refused.

Andrew, did you forget you’re not just a man but also a priest? Vincent said.

No, I didn’t forget. I want to do this tonight… on your special day.

For me, Vincent said.

No, Father Andrew said. "For us."

"And for us, I must refuse, Vincent said. He picked the cupcake up from the table and took a bite from it. Mmm. He swallowed the sweet bite of cupcake, then spoke. Good cupcake. I can’t and won’t be your first, Andrew. Tate said that if I was your first and you didn’t like it or freaked out afterward, for lack of a better word, then we’d never be able to be friends anymore."

Bullshit! Father Andrew said.

Whoa, Vincent said. The language, Father.

Andrew—it’s Andrew the man you claim to love, Father Andrew said. I’m sorry about the language. This is new to me. I got a sudden pang of what I could only describe as jealousy toward Tate right now.

We didn’t do anything, Vincent said.

You could talk to him, Vince. The same way you were able to confide in Hélène about your father hitting you, but you never told me a word about your situation. Not until the others and I walked in on it happening.

I do love you, Andrew. And you’re right I should’ve told you about the situation with Daddy, but I thought I could handle it.

And now, Father Andrew said. You can talk to Tate about us, but not me. And suddenly you can’t handle this—can’t deal with the idea of our being together physically.

That’s it in a nutshell, Vincent said, then sat down next to Father Andrew. "If this didn’t work out between us I couldn’t go back to being friends. I thought I’d be happy just being next to you even if there was nothing physical, but I wouldn’t be. Especially not after this. If you freaked out and rejected me it would break me right now."

On what level would you think I was about to reject you, Vince?

I’d know, that’s the problem, Vincent said. You may think we don’t talk about things enough, but I still know you. Let me be blunt. If you were sucking on my dick I’d know whether you really liked it or were pretending to for my sake. So, if you didn’t like it—

Then maybe I could fuck you instead, Father Andrew said, getting the reaction he’d hoped for when he saw the look Vincent gave him. Or you could do me. Do you like everything sexually? Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you like everything, does it?

No it doesn’t mean that, Vincent said. Okay, so you have a point. He sat exasperated by Father Andrew who pulled him close.

There’s got to be a starting point for us physically, Father Andrew said. Maybe we are taking a big chance, but isn’t it one worth taking?

"What happened to your saying that you needed time because the town needs Father Andrew right now?"

Something’s changed in me, Vince. Tonight when I thought of you on that date with Tate I got jealous.

That’s not a great reason to start a physical relationship, Vincent said. Jealousy is never a good reason for that.

I know, Father Andrew said. You didn’t let me get to the point of what I was saying.

Sorry, Vincent said sadly, then smiled when Father Andrew kissed his cheek. If when we did it, you liked it would you leave the priesthood?

Yes, Father Andrew said. Only I have a feeling I’ll more than like it.

But so far it’s only a feeling you have. Andrew, you just turned forty-eight and you’re a virgin. You probably haven’t even kissed before.

A girl kissed me when I was in high school, Father Andrew said and smiled. I didn’t think much of it. My first real kiss was with you, tonight.

Vincent felt tears form in his eyes and wiped them away with his hand.

Let me finish what I was trying to say a couple seconds ago, Father Andrew said. First, I was jealous of Tate, but then I picked out something to wear for when you came over. My mind wandered as I thought about what you would like to see me wearing. Then I thought of your hands on my clothes while I was wearing them. Even of your lips on my feet while I wore my flip-flops. Like before, only my feet were clean and I wasn’t worried because it was you and me—and that wasn’t something for me to be concerned about.

Wow, Vincent said. "What did you feel when you thought about all of that?’

I felt good—really good. And my body reacted. To be honest, I got harder than I ever have in my life.

Vincent gulped loudly and Father Andrew smiled and gave him a quick kiss. When Father Andrew tried to pull away, Vincent pulled him in close and kissed him harder. After he ran his tongue across Father Andrew’s lips, Vincent pulled away again and laid his head on Father Andrew’s shoulder.

Are you scared at all about this, Andrew?

Terrified, Father Andrew said, but also excited, and horny. What’s really going on in your head, Vince? Please tell me.

I saw Daddy today, before I met Tate, Vincent said and began to cry. He’s been through so much in his life and I couldn’t help him, Andrew. I’m there for him and he knows it, but I’ve never felt so apart from him. Mom can help him much more with even just a look.

She’s the love of Brian’s life, you know that. Your parents are still madly in love—that’s great.

It is, but I—oh forget it! Vincent said.

Father Andrew responded by wrapping his arms around Vincent and softly kissing the side of his neck.

That feels so good, Andrew. You have no idea. But I can’t do this if it’s not forever going in.

What do you need from me, Vince? I’ll do whatever you need to give you peace of mind and security. Suddenly everything made sense in Father Andrew’s mind and he felt like a fool for not understanding earlier. Vincent’s sense of security had taken a beating because of his having been tied up and whipped with a leather belt by his father. Oh, Vince, baby, forgive me for not understanding sooner. I wanted to make you happy and I’ve done the opposite. If you tell me what I can do to make it better I promise you I’ll do it.

You shouldn’t make promises so easily, Vincent said. What if you can’t keep them?

You’d help me keep them.

Okay then, I’ll tell you something, Vincent said. I only hope you can handle it.

Chapter 2

I CAN’T BE YOUR first, Vincent said. The pressure is too much for me. Even if it went well I’d always think of myself as the man you left the priesthood for and so would you.

What do you envision as the solution to this problem then? Father Andrew said, genuinely concerned.

Why couldn’t you just have screwed around when you were in school like everyone else. Sorry, Andrew, I should be happy to be with a virgin, but that—added with the fact you’re a Catholic priest is beginning to play on my nerves.

Only just now, Father Andrew said, and chuckled. That was rude of me, I apologize. But we have known each other since you were eighteen and today you’re officially twenty-four.

I fell in love with you at first sight, Vincent said. When I walked toward you in my parents’ garden and you looked up at me with those green eyes of yours, I swear my heart stopped for a second. You were and are the most incredibly handsome man I’ve ever known.

Thank you, Vince, but you’re straying from the topic at hand. Vagueness won’t do in this situation or one of us will get hurt… and more than just a little.

If I gave you a twenty would you stop by the nearest whorehouse and have sex, Vincent said, then laughed. This is so stupid. I feel like an idiot.

It’s your birthday, you can call all the shots tonight. But the one thing you’re not is an idiot.

Thanks, Vincent said. I sure would love a glass of wine. Since I’m spending the night, it’s okay. Or do I need to be worried about driving home?

This is your home for tonight, the next few days, and however long I’m here, Vince. Unless you want to go to your mom’s home.

No, I don’t. Tori, her Mom and sister, and Kimberly are all there. Even Dominic agreed to stay so they’d feel safe since Father Felix isn’t there. Did you arrange for Father—I mean Dominic to stay there?

Yes, I did, Father Andrew said. He’s still a priest for a tiny bit longer, although the Bishop put a rush on all that.

If you’d rather I leave, Andrew, I will.

For a smart man that was an idiotic comment, Father Andrew said, then stood. You don’t belong anywhere but here tonight… and every night if you’re honest with yourself. I’ll get you that wine—red or white?

Red, Vincent said. As soon as Father Andrew was headed toward the kitchen, Vincent stood and spoke. It’s just that if you’re upset with me because we didn’t have sex, I’d understand.

You know me better than that, Father Andrew said from the kitchen. Just having you around makes me happy. The rest, had it happened, would’ve merely been a bonus.

Vincent put his hand down his pants and tried to rearrange the throbbing erection he had that was getting uncomfortable. He sat at the far end of the couch and waited for Father Andrew to return.

Oh man, that really is unfair, Vincent said and chuckled when he saw Father Andrew headed his way naked and carrying a glass of wine and two towels. His eyes were mesmerized by the thick, uncut, and very erect cock bobbing in his direction.

In case you had any doubts as to how I felt toward you, Father Andrew said and tapped the head of his cock with his hand so it bounced up rigid.

Oh my God that is beautiful, Vincent said. I know I saw you naked when we all went skinny dipping, but you weren’t hard then. God almighty that’s nice.

God does some good work, Father Andrew said, and handed Vincent his glass of wine then sat down on his towel at the other end of the couch. I remember thinking Jehovah God was an absolute artist when I saw you naked in the pool. He turned so his back leaned against the arm of the couch and he was facing Vincent.

Andrew, a man has only so much willpower and my pants and underwear are growing tighter by the second.

Trust me then, Vince. We need to trust one another completely—no more games or doubts. We’re not going to have sex tonight. Take your clothes off and get comfortable. He threw him the other towel he had brought.

Vincent stood nervously, but kept his eyes on Father Andrew. He slipped out of his shoes, then took off his pants, shirt, and underwear so that he was naked.

Sit on the side like I’m sitting here, Father Andrew said. That way we’re facing one another. When Vincent had done so and sat on his towel, Father Andrew continued. Your cock is longer than mine when you’re erect and it’s so pretty. I like how pale it is.

I like how dark and thick yours is, Vincent said, then chuckled nervously.

Father Andrew slid his foot out of his flip-flops and put his legs on the couch. As he stretched his legs out he let them softly graze across Vincent’s cheeks before he rested them on the arm of the couch.

Put your legs up here, Vince, Father Andrew said, then patted the arm of the couch he was leaning against.

Vincent did so and Father Andrew grabbed hold of Vincent’s feet and pulled them to him.

What is it you find so enticing about feet, Vince?

Vincent took a sip of his wine and smiled. I don’t really know.

Father Andrew held Vincent’s right foot in his hand and let his finger trace along its arch. He looked at Vincent, kissed the top of his foot, smiled, then spoke. ‘You have pretty feet, unblemished with long, but not bony toes. He put his fingers between Vincent’s toes and heard him laugh. I think you are so incredibly beautiful. Hopefully that doesn’t insult you. Men are usually referred to as handsome, but I think you’re downright pretty in some ways."

And I always thought you were the epitome of handsome, Andrew. You can call me pretty and beautiful because I know you mean the words as a compliment.

Father Andrew gently squeezed Vincent’s foot then kissed it all over and let it rest on his chest. He thought Vincent looked happy.

Vincent held the glass of wine on the couch in front of him. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feel of Father Andrew’s hand and lips on his foot.

Father Andrew felt a bit of mischievousness was in order. While Vincent’s eyes were closed, Father Andrew lowered his leg. He dipped his big toe into the wineglass then traced along Vincent’s lips with said toe.

Vincent opened his eyes and looked into Father Andrew’s eyes. Father Andrew responded by pressing his toe against Vincent’s mouth until the mouth opened to allow him in.

The sensation of Vincent’s tongue on his toe, followed by the sucking action made Father Andrew moan out loud several times.

That feels unbelievable, Father Andrew said, then he lifted Vincent’s foot and mimicked his actions. He saw Vincent’s cock get even harder.

The two men moaned for several minutes before finally stopping.

I didn’t gross you out sucking on your toes, did I? Vincent said.

No. Feel free to keep that in our repertoire.

How did you like doing it to me, Andrew?

Um, well—It’s you, I like kissing your body.

Be honest, Vincent said. You were the one that said we needed to be more trusting and honesty and trust go hand in hand.

Okay, Father Andrew said. You have extremely cute feet and I liked kissing them. To be honest, I don’t really get it as a fetish. But it really turned me on seeing you enjoying it so it’ll be staying in our repertoire too.

We’ll discover your trigger or fetish one day, Vincent said. Everyone has one, you know.

Maybe it’s all of you for me, Father Andrew said. Your whole being is my fetish. I have a fetish for Vince.

Vincent chuckled then moved around on the couch. Sorry, I’m so hard I’m getting really uncomfortable.

So am I, Father Andrew said. He turned and sat with his feet on the floor, then patted the space next to him and Vincent moved beside him. Let’s just jack off together, is that allowed?"

Yeah, sure.

They both began to jack themselves off.

Can we kiss a little? Father Andrew said.

That’d be fine, I think, Vincent said.

Father Andrew kissed Vincent. It was soft at first but grew harder and more passionate. Vincent felt like he was in Heaven. He was still scared but knew he could trust Father Andrew to be mindful of the boundaries they’d set.

Vincent let go of his cock, held Father Andrew’s hand, then hugged him. A second later he felt Father Andrew’s hand wrapped firmly around his cock.

Father Andrew could hear Vincent breathing heavily in his ear. His hot breaths made his body tingle.

Is this okay, Vince? I won’t go any further tonight, I promise.

Uh-huh, Vincent said, It’s fine.

Vincent stopped hugging Father Andrew and reached for his cock. The two jacked each other off rapidly while moaning.

I’m close, Vince!

So am I, don’t stop.

A few seconds later both men were shooting hot cum on their chests. Vincent leaned against Father Andrew exhausted.

I’m sorry I’m such a pain, Vincent said.

You’re not, Father Andrew said, then smiled. This may have not qualified as actual sex but I think it’s fairly obvious I enjoyed it. Does it solve our problem?

My problem you mean, Vincent said.

"If it’s your problem, or my problem, then it’s our problem," Father Andrew said.

How do you feel inside, Andrew?

Fine, Father Andrew said. Great! Like proposing actually.

Vincent lowered his head and sighed.

Is that not good? Father Andrew said.

No it’s not good. I don’t want you leaving the priesthood because of me.

Again, would you make me a truly happy man and tell me in detail what it is you want and need? Father Andrew said. Do you even know what that is?

I want you to come to me a man already fully aware of himself, so I can’t be blamed for anything, Vincent said. I want you to say you’ve done it and loved it then put your Roman collar on the bedside table and tell me you’ve left the priesthood. If you do it that way then I can know it’s not my fault.

How do I do that? Father Andrew said. And could you live with it if I did do that?

Chapter 3

THE NEXT DAY Father Andrew sat at a picnic table under the trees in the field at St. Mary’s Catholic High School. He and his good friend Father Dominic were talking and laughing.

I’m serious, that was the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had in my life, Dominic, Father Andrew said.

Damn, buddy, when you make your mind up about something you move fast, Father Dominic said. Heck, I’m still a priest and I’ve got a feeling by the time that changes and Hélène and I are married, you and Vince will be keeping house.

He is staying with me at present and you did just tell me that you were planning on moving into the house Vince gave you, Father Andrew said. So, technically Vince and I are keeping house at the monastery.

Does it count if you two haven’t actually had sex? Father Dominic said and chuckled.

Father Andrew chuckled for a moment then looked at his friend seriously. What the hell am I supposed to do, Dominic?

I’m not entirely sure, Andrew. Can I say that I do like us calling each other by our first names these days?

It’s not like you’re going to be a priest much longer, Father Andrew said.

You didn’t say we, Andrew, Father Dominic said. It doesn’t look like you’re going to be a priest much longer either.

It’s not as if Vince has said he’d be with me if I quit so—

Hold on a minute, Father Dominic said. If Vincent didn’t agree to marry you or whatever then you’d stay a priest.

Well, yeah, what would be the point of leaving the priesthood then?

Oh, boy, Father Dominic said. Take my advice and never, ever say something like that to Vince.

What’s wrong with what I said? I love Vince and want to be with him, otherwise I’d stay a priest.

Uuugh! Father Dominic said, and pulled on his brown hair. Andrew, right now I have no problem believing you’re a forty-eight-year-old virgin.

Say it loud enough for the whole school to hear next time, Father Andrew said.

Oh, Andrew, you just don’t get it. Now I completely understand where Vince is coming from and I’m afraid he’s probably right. You can’t leave the priesthood for Vince or anyone other than for yourself.

I don’t get it, Dominic. What am I supposed to do here? Really have sex with someone else first.

It sounds like that’s what you might have to do since you’re clearly not understanding where Vince and I are coming from, Andrew. I wish there was a whorehouse around here, I’d take you there personally.

That would just be anonymous sex, Father Andrew said. It doesn’t seem like the right thing to do.

Its not really, but, Andrew, you can’t put all of this on Vince. He’ll know your sole reason for leaving the priesthood is him and he’ll freak out big time—to use the current vernacular. He can’t deal with you at the same time he’s dealing with his father’s problem. That’s why he said he needs you to come to him already… knowledgeable?

I guess it makes sense when you say it like that, Father Andrew said. No wonder Vince said it would’ve been easier if I’d experimented with friends when I was younger.

He looked at Father Dominic who was his age and had a strong, muscular build and good-looking face.

Don’t go looking at me that way, Andrew Madera, Father Dominic said. I’ve helped you out before but not this time—not that way. You need a—you know, a buddy specifically for that purpose. Not sure that his point was getting across, he whispered in Father Andrew’s ear. You need a fuck buddy, buddy.

Father Andrew stood, gave Father Dominic an appalled look, and was met by the shrug of Father Dominic’s shoulders.

Didn’t I prove myself with Vince last night? Father Andrew said.

All you two did was kiss and jack each other off, Father Dominic said. Boys today don’t even call that first base. You still don’t get it, Andrew. You’re way too behind Vince in terms of physical experience. He probably noticed that last night and felt bad. Take my advice and go find yourself a gay friend to talk to because you don’t seem to get what Vince and I have tried to tell you.

Sorry, Dominic, I really am trying to understand.

I know you are, Father Dominic said. That’s part of the problem. You’re trying too hard again to understand something that you should get naturally.

To change the subject, how are things here at school, Father Andrew said.

Things are starting to calm down, Father Dominic said. Pete is the man of the hour because of that great set he designed and put together for the Frankenstein musical. We’re even planning another performance.

Really? Father Andrew said.

Yeah, with Pete himself in the lead. He has quite the voice. Different from Clint’s but equally as good.

I wonder how Clint and Brent are doing,