It Gets Better: One Woman’s Story of Life After Rape

By Emily Jacob

When every day is a fight for survival, it’s hard to believe that things can actually get better. Hope is a very powerful drug; we need more of it to bolster our recoveries. My hope is that my personal story will give you hope, that your life will get better too.

This is a collection of blogs, excerpts and Facebook status updates that together tell the story of a life that gets better. Reading them through now, after the passage of time, I’m struck by how hopeful I always was, even at the beginning, even in the depths of my despair, even when I was considering ending everything. Hope is a very powerful drug; we need more of it to bolster our recoveries. My hope is that this collection shows you that you too, can have a life that gets better.

There will be content that is difficult to read. Please know it is only my story, and those places I was, I’m not there anymore. Please make sure you are safe, your self-care is a priority—do not continue reading if the content upsets you.

In telling our stories we take control of our narrative. In telling our stories we find solidarity. In telling our stories we let loose the hurt that’s imprisoned inside; we stop it from eating us from within and we tell the world, we are not ashamed, bad things happened but they do not define us. In telling our stories we end the stigma. In telling our stories we become empowered, we are empowered. In telling our stories we become the hero, we are the hero.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Resonance Press
• Release date: Apr 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386994404

Book preview

FOREWORD

This is a collection of blogs, excerpts and Facebook status updates that together tell the story of a life that gets better. Reading them through now, after the passage of time, I’m struck by how hopeful I always was, even at the beginning, even in the depths of my despair, even when I was considering ending everything. Hope is a very powerful drug; we need more of it to bolster our recoveries. My hope is that this collection shows you that you too, can have a life that gets better.

There will be content that is difficult to read. Please know it is only my story, and those places I was, I’m not there anymore. Please make sure you are safe, your self-care is a priority—do not continue reading if the content upsets you.

In telling our stories we take control of our narrative. In telling our stories we find solidarity. In telling our stories we let loose the hurt that’s imprisoned inside; we stop it from eating us from within and we tell the world, we are not ashamed, bad things happened but they do not define us. In telling our stories we end the stigma. In telling our stories we become empowered, we are empowered. In telling our stories we become the hero, we are the hero.

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

2008

END OF INNOCENCE

HURTING

ANOTHER MONDAY AFTERNOON

GETTING BETTER

2009

WILL IT EVER END?

ONE YEAR ON… STRONGER

2010

FTW

TIME REALLY DOES HEAL

2011

PISSING THE NIGHT AWAY

2012

FOUR YEARS AGO

STEPS

HUMPTY DUMPTY GIRL

2013

FIVE YEARS

WHAT IS ME?

2014

STARTING AGAIN

REAWAKENING

2015

AN OVERDUE LETTER TO MY PSYCHIATRIST

2016

IT GETS BETTER

AFTERWORD

THE RECONNECTED LIFE TASTE OF RECOVERY

THE RECONNECTED LIFE EXPERIENCE

TESTIMONIALS

ABOUT EMILY

2008

9 APRIL

The day before everything changed.

is loving life

12 MAY

The day I reported it to the police.

is recovering after a very tough day

3 JUNE

When I heard he’d been arrested.

just got some very good news

21 JULY

The day before the police told me the CPS decision and still hoped justice would bring peace.

is hoping for justice

SEPTEMBER

Gave up pretending I could live in the flat and moved out.

Also went back to work.

END OF INNOCENCE

I used to be a person who saw the best in people, who knew that life was inherently good and that all was well that ended well—and if things weren’t well, they just hadn’t ended yet.

I wrote this after I found out that he wouldn’t be prosecuted.

Someone said to me recently that I was at my core a happy person, and I would be again. I really hope that person was right.

I have many, many things to be happy about. Most importantly, I’ve discovered recently how many good friends I have, people who care about me, people who would care a lot if I wasn’t around anymore. When I sent a group text earlier this week with some bad news, it was to over 20 people, family, friends… I never used to have that. And I honestly don’t know what I would have done in recent months, and especially in the last week, without those friends.

But I’ve become so disillusioned I hardly recognise myself. I’m distrustful of people, of their motives, even my good