Hilda: Witches' Myths

By Paul Kater

An odd book is the start of a new series of adventures for our magical heroes. A book acquired by William who can't keep his hands away from books.

Are you ready to meet Baba Yaga and Shevaughn again? Are you prepared to swim up one of the strangest rivers you've never seen?

If you've said 'yes' to at least one of those questions, you're ready to step into the world of Witches' Myths where the most incredible of the incredible becomes credible. And deadly.

Yes. Deadly. No other book in this series has more murder on its mind than this one.

Do you still feel ready?

Yes?

Let's go then.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paul Kater
• Release date: Feb 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370828401

Paul Kater

Paul Kater was born in the Netherlands in 1960. He quickly developed a feel for books and languages but ended up in the IT business despite that. Books and languages never ceased to fascinate him, so since 2003 he's been actively writing, encouraged by friends on the internet. The internet is the reason why most of his work is in English. A friend asking for writing help is why some of his writing is now also in Dutch. Paul currently lives in Cuijk, the Netherlands, with his books, possibly with cats, and the many characters he's developed in the past years, who claim he is a figment of their imagination.

Book preview

1. A day to relax.

Do you know we've done nothing today? Hilda sat on the sun bed in front of the house. The sun bed that William had created as one of his first magical acts after moving in with her and becoming a wizard. It still was one of the best things he'd done about the house, apart perhaps from convincing the house that the bedroom should be painted purple. And attempting the tiny moat around the house which had flooded the living room so they had abandoned that idea for now. And getting the huge pump for her that was proudly standing a bit away from the house. Pondering all these things made her happy.

Like we did yesterday, William agreed. He too occupied a sun bed. He was thinking about making the cushions between him and the wooden board a bit thicker.

And the day before yesterday too. Hilda enjoyed that thought. They had done nothing. The cats had done nothing. Even the king and the queen had done nothing to interrupt this peace. Other things they might be doing weren't the witch's cup of tea. Thinking of tea... I'd like some.

Huh?

Tea. You've heard of that, haven't you?

"Of course, but I wasn't thinking about tea. Did you say tea? Not coffee?"

I did. What were you thinking about then? Can't be as important as tea.

Cushions.

You can't drink cushions. What colour?

Any colour.

I knew you'd say purple. As long as you don't change the colour of my tea mug. Goldfish-colour on a purple background looks sickening. As the window was open and the mug in question was close to said window, there was some movement on the tea container. The two goldfish hung as close to the window as the cup allowed them to. After all, their domain was under discussion now! William promised he wouldn't touch Hilda's sacred tea mug. Then he went in and started getting things ready for tea. The kitchen was surprisingly docile as he went about his business. The wizard didn't mind that but it was such a novel experience that he prodded a closet door to see if it would still react. It did. Somewhat. Even the stove didn't have it in for his kneecaps today.

House? Is something wrong with the kitchen?

No. Should there be?

I've been in here for a while already. Tea's almost done, and nothing has tried to kill me yet. William encountered one of those rare and special moments where the house attempted a smile. The back wall of the kitchen groaned under the strain.

Sometimes all it wants to do is just be a kitchen, and then it helps you make the best tea possible. You'll see.

Wizard? Are you and the house talking behind my back again? Hilda heard the voices but couldn't figure out what was being said without using magic, and she didn't want to eavesdrop. Not today.

Considering the fact that her back was indeed towards the house and William was inside, it was no surprise that he said, Of course. He arranged the tea, some cookies (where had those come from, he wondered?) and a china cup for himself on a tray and carried that into the living room where he put the tray down. He grinned at the two fish that carefully peeked around the mug after he'd picked it up. Don't worry, guys. Your home is safe. To his surprise the two fish looked relieved. After looking again the expression was gone, but he was certain he'd seen it. Would this world ever run out of surprises? With everything he needed safely on the tray, the wizard joined the witch.

After sitting in the sunshine some more, and the teapot as barren as your average desert, Hilda looked at the sky. I would like to go for a walk.

William slowly turned his head to face his sweetwitch. Say that again? I think something's wrong with my ear.

I would like to go for a walk.

"I'd swear I heard that the first time. You said walk."

I did. It's nice weather for it. She was right. Let's walk to Sunrise. They hadn't been to the village in a while so it would be nice to see if anything had changed. Nothing probably had, because time had the tendency to stand still in Sunrise, and Hilda had nothing to do with that.

All right. Let's go for a walk. To Sunrise. William started to get up. Slowly. After all, the witch could be in a mood to play some trick on him. Nothing of that however happened, she was on her feet even faster than he was. Hmm. This was eerie. The kitchen hadn't attacked him, the house had smiled to the point of almost cracking a wall, and Hilda wanted to go for a walk. He recalled something of his prior life. Something about women suddenly craving things they otherwise would never touch. Uhmm.

Why are you uhmming and humming? Are you scared you can't keep up with me? You can take a broom if you want. Or a cane. I'm taking the cats. Grim and Obsi were already waiting for the trip to start. Hilda watched William get off the sun bed quickly. He joined her, and hand in hand they walked off towards the forest path that would take them to Sunrise.

-=-=-

As the village came into view, Hilda sighed. That was nice. A bit sad we didn't see any robbers. They usually mean fun.

Fun for us, William agreed. They had met the occasional gang in the forest. A first encounter most of the time was enough for thieves, cut-throats and other bandits who valued their bodily functions intact. Several toads in the forest had started their lives in human form but since they'd hopped off, leaving their clothes behind, there was no point in trying to find them. Also Hilda liked the idea of having bandit toads around.

Of course. Oh. Do you think it's safe if we walk into Sunrise like this? She held up her hand which was still holding William's. Maybe people think things.

William stopped walking. Hilda stopped along with him. Their link made that easy. Hilda? Is there something you want to tell me? The wizard had never experienced anything like this. The wicked witch worrying about what people might think of her?

Nothing in particular. Hilda tried to come up with something she might have forgotten to announce but since her mouth was usually faster than her brain that was highly unlikely. Not even in general. Except that there might be something to do at the market square. Convinced that this was what he was hoping for she started walking again, dragging the wizard with her while the two cats bounced back and forth between the magicals and where they might go. That, of course, was not up to the cats, but the felines had fun exploring anyway.

The magicals attracted quite a lot of glances as they strolled down the streets of Sunrise. At one point Hilda had to apply some magic as a horse rider blocked their path and refused to make his horse step aside. Regardless of the good mood Hilda was in, she would not step aside for an ordinary on a horse. With a spell she lifted the stubborn rider from his horse. William led the animal to the side, and then the wicked witch proved her title by simply dumping the former rider into a water trough. Not exactly a robber, but fun anyway, she said to William as they walked on. The wet rider stared at the two. He didn't attempt any payback. He was stubborn but in certain situations he was also quick to learn.

The sounds and smells of people and livestock in many shapes greeted the two strolling magicals and their cats as they entered the market square. Oh. Hilda stopped for a moment as the wall of scents and sounds hit her. We need to remedy this. A simple spell made sure their noses weren't assaulted any longer. They could live with the sounds for now. We clearly haven't been here for a while.

Thank you for that, William said. And you're right. We've been quite busy lately. It's good to be here again for a change. He also knew it was important to be seen once in a while. The crowd they were walking among had not forgotten them. Wherever the two went, the flood of people parted as if by magic. Again Hilda had nothing to do with it. Her reputation did all the work.

Hello. The one word greeting came from a boy, perhaps seven years of age. It was hard to tell as much of him was covered in dirt and some straw.

Well, hello there, little one.

William felt his blood freeze just after it curdled in his veins. Little one? From the witch who had no idea how to handle children and happily left that to Babs?

Where's your mother? Hilda sounded truly concerned. William felt things curdle where no curdling had ever occurred before. This could only mean one thing and that wasn't possible. The dirt-covered child pointed at a woman who was screaming at a man selling vegetables. The witch assumed he was trying to get more money for his greens than she was willing to pay. Ah. Then go to her. Quickly. And tell her to wipe you clean, preferably in the creek just outside Sunrise to keep people healthy who drink from the fountain. You look like you slept with the pigs!

I did! The boy beamed, happy in the knowledge that someone appreciated his efforts to look like a swine.

Crappedy crap, wizard. We need to block our noses even more with that around.

William's blood slowly returned to its normal, liquid state. Perhaps he was wrong after all. You had me worried for a moment, Hilda.

Worried? What for? Oh, because of pig boy? I was just trying to be child friendly, like Babs manages so easily. I didn't do very well, did I?

No, you didn't, although the start was pretty good.

Hilda nodded. I already feared you'd say that. That took a lot of courage. And acting. William suppressed a huge sigh of relief and walked on with Hilda. As they passed the woman who was still yelling at the vegetable salesman, they discovered that the two were married and she was in fact telling him that their wares weren't priced high enough. Pig boy stood next to his father and ducked under the stall as soon as he saw the witch.

There are times in a person's life that a smell takes them back to their original calling. For one it is the smell of grass that brings back memories of being a gardener. For the other it's the smell of elephant manure that returns the mind to the circus. For William it was the smell of books. The wizard took hold of Hilda's hand and started walking towards the source of the smell of books. Wizard. What is the matter? You don't ever do this. The wizard didn't respond until they were in front of a handcart.

Books, he said.

Yes. Books. Hilda also saw them. We have books at home. More than you see here. And probably better ones too.

Uh huh. William stared at the books.

So many books that the house sometimes complains about the weight. Do you remember? Hilda prodded her partner.

Of course I do. But there's something about these books, William said. It spooked him a little that this cart had such an effect on him. That had never happened before, and he could look back on many strange happenings since he'd moved here.

Hilda stared at the books. They are regular, ordinary books. Not even magical ones. William started rummaging through the contents of the cart, much to the delight of the old book salesman who sat on the ground, looking up at the prospective buyers. William knew he was acting irrationally, even for a magical person. There was a drive inside him that made him go through the books like a maniac. It reminded him of his prior life, where he'd fight to get to a new book stall on markets. Suddenly he had it. He put his hand on a book and there was this tiny jolt. The feeling of the rough back cover of the book, the weight of it. This was it.

I need this book. He held up his treasure. The treasure was grey, small, thin, and its lettering on the cover was barely recognisable. Hilda took it from his fingers.

"Morbid Monsters, Magical Myths, Marvellous Ma-. The rest of the title is gone. Why would you want to have a book about a marvellous ma?"

William didn't hesitate a moment. A present for Babs. Hilda then scared the living daylights out of the people around them with her screaming laughter. Together they paged through the book. It contained stories about morbid monsters, magical myths, and marvellous machinations.

That would really make a nice present. Bedtime stories for Shevaughn. Hilda paged a bit more while William paid the salesman. Being a magical he didn't have to pay, but he still had the bookseller's blood in his veins and he couldn't let a colleague go without proper reimbursement.

You paid too much for the book, said Hilda as they walked off, but I understand. You and your books. And mine. She grinned as she recalled how much in awe he'd been in the first weeks he lived in her house. William had almost grown roots in front of her bookshelves. Talking about Babs... how about paying them a visit?

Sure. It's been a while since we saw them. If we head back to the house and grab our brooms, we can be there long before dark. William liked the idea of visiting Baba Yaga and her adopted daughter. Shevaughn had entered their lives without warning. Hilda and William had worried about Mama Babs and the girl, but everything seemed to go well. He didn't worry about the book he'd bought. It would be a great present indeed. And he might have time to read it on the way over. Hilda and he often did that on long flights to destinations they knew well. It was like flying on auto-pilot without the pilot, and reading helped to pass the time. Usually the cats were asleep anyway because long flights could be boring. The magicals strolled along the market for a little longer, making sure the cats didn't cause more problems than their humans did. On the way home, eating a few delicacies from what were called foreign shores, William paged through the book a little bit. He did use two hands to hold the food and eat it, but with magic it wasn't difficult to read at the same time. Both he and Hilda looked at the words on the old, yellow paper.

Loombas? What are Loombas? William had never heard of them. They were listed in the section on Morbid Monsters. Same category as the Marnaks and the Pheliants we read about earlier?

Yes. Loombas don't exist. I think you really picked a good children's book, wizard.

William wasn't so certain. He'd hoped there would be something worthwhile in the book, not just a list of unreal monsters. Let's look at the Magical Myths. Oh, ha ha, that starts off with a laugh too. Burning water. The wizard grinned until he noticed the disapproving look on Hilda's face. That was never a good sign. Don't tell me Burning Water exists.

If I don't tell you, you would never learn that it does exist. Well, not really, but in a way. Hilda quickly paged through the Magical Myths.

"Wait, what's that you said? It exists but it doesn't, only in a way? What do you mean by that?"

I mean exactly what I said. Hilda made the book snap shut. Some things aren't real enough to talk about, William. Perhaps we should leave this book at the house when we go on our visit.

You totally lost me. All that because of Burning Water? William wanted to know the details but Hilda refused to tell him any of those. He knew her well enough to stop asking. If he didn't he'd have to face magical repercussions in the shape of his witch, and he didn't fancy that.

2. A day to wonder about.

I'm sorry I almost bit you, William, Hilda said as they emerged from the forest and crossed the grassy patch to get to their house. It's just that this book isn't a toy. Maybe I'll tell you a few things when we're on our way, but for now this book has to be put away somewhere safe, under lock and spell.

Whatever you say, Hilda, but I would love some enlightenment. The fact that she had actually tried to bite him still baffled him.

Once inside the house, Hilda put the book about the Marvellous Ma on one of the higher shelves and sealed the spot with a spell. I trust you to stay away from it, but I can't take risks with others, she explained that. William just nodded. Any attempt to make her talk about this would button her lips even more.

Do you think we need to change clothes before flying off to the danger zone? William had more than once sustained damage to his clothes while landing among the trees with their razor sharp leaves.

I'm fine, but you might go for a knight's armour, Hilda said. A moment passed. Crappedy crap. Do you think you would be able to fly with that? William hadn't hesitated and conjured armour around him, as per her idea.

I have no idea, Hilda. His voice came from inside the helmet as a muffled echo. And I'm not going to try. Life inside a tin can is no fun, trust me, and the echo in here is something that drives a wizard mad! The armour disappeared.

Glad you chose that. You look better as a wizard to me. Armour always gives me strange visions. Hilda recalled the time she'd seen King Walt in a bizarre collection of improvised armour as he tried to use a broadsword. It had been hilarious but also traumatic. So when we get to the forest there, act like a wizard and don't get your cloak ripped, will you? William agreed that she had a point. The magicals looked for their cats and found those curled up on the top bookshelf where they loved to reside if they didn't want to be disturbed.

I hope they stay away from that book, Hilda said as she and William walked out the door. Somehow these cats ignore most of my magic. She got onto her broom.

Aren't you going to put all those chains around me? The house sounded surprised.

No. Unless you would like me to.

I do prefer not to be in chains, thank you.

Hilda nodded. It's better for the paint too, I noticed. And with that (and a bunch of magic surrounding the house to keep nosey people out) the magicals lifted off.

-=-=-

William's way of protecting his clothes was by using magic to bend the branches away that were in his flight path. Babs would probably know he did that but he didn't care. The trees weren't harmed, nor were his clothes. How Hilda passed by the sharp leaves without getting any of her garments damaged was still beyond the wizard. There's clearly a child around, Hilda said as they walked up to Baba Yaga's hut. Most of the trees around had black bows on them. There also were black ribbons tied around each toe of the four huge chicken legs that held up the hut.

Would there be ribbons and bows on Babs as well? William whispered his question to Hilda. Baba Yaga often had ears everywhere in her forest so it paid to be careful.

No. There aren't. Hilda knew this. Babs was Babs, whether she was a Yaga or a Mama. That thought made her hold her breath for a moment but then