Hilda: Rock 'n' Troll

By Paul Kater

Hilda and William leave for another vacation, some time away. Knowing the witch and her wizardly partner, this will end up in work of course.
Tremors, flower witches, dwarves and trolls are only some of the elements that will turn this trip into yet an unforgettable one for the magical couple who will also have a few fun surprises along the way!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paul Kater
• Release date: Jul 26, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301941612

Paul Kater

Paul Kater was born in the Netherlands in 1960. He quickly developed a feel for books and languages but ended up in the IT business despite that. Books and languages never ceased to fascinate him, so since 2003 he's been actively writing, encouraged by friends on the internet. The internet is the reason why most of his work is in English. A friend asking for writing help is why some of his writing is now also in Dutch. Paul currently lives in Cuijk, the Netherlands, with his books, possibly with cats, and the many characters he's developed in the past years, who claim he is a figment of their imagination.

Book preview

Hilda - Rock 'n' Troll

by

Paul Kater

Published by the author as a member of the

Alexandria Publishing Group

Smashwords Edition

Hilda - Rock 'n' Troll - © Copyright 2013 Paul Kater

Cover art created from a photo I made myself on a vacation in Canada.

With the exception of quotes used in reviews, this book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from author.

Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded, or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without the publisher’s permission. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. (http://www.fbi.gov/ipr/). Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

This is a work of fiction, and as a work of fiction, any resemblance to people, places or things is entirely accidental. The creation of certain buildings and locations is entirely the work of the author to avoid conflict and comparison with existing structures

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to the site where it was purchased and buy your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Acknowledgements

Thank you again, Carol, you're my pro in picking out the misfits of typing!

A specific redhead witch appears thanks to the enthusiasm of my friend Jaenet.

A duo of ladies, who play their harps in a beautiful manner, have also found their way into this book. If you want to know more about them, visit their website at http://www.harptwins.com. Thank you, Camille and Kennerly, for allowing me to adopt you into this story.

Note: Rompfordian Football was invented for the sole purpose to appear in this book. If you attempt it and get hurt, it's your own risk. If you don't get hurt, I'd love to receive a few pictures of you playing the game!

Jump to contents.

1. Fix-it chappies

Why are you sitting on the bed like that? William had been looking for Hilda and found her in their bedroom where she sat staring at the wardrobe with an unfamiliar expression of slight despair.

Because I tried standing on the floor like that and it became boring, Hilda replied.

I see. And what if sitting becomes boring?

Then I'll probably lie down. But you're missing the point, wizard.

As usual, William agreed, but that is what makes living with you so interesting.

It does, doesn't it?

William sat down next to Hilda and stared at the wardrobe but the point remained missing. It also drives me up the wall at times, but that's okay.

It does? Hilda was not used to something like that from her wizard. Any wall in particular or just any wall close to you?

Any wall that doesn't have much stuff on it, William elaborated.

Oh. You must have a hard time in our house then, Hilda said as she turned her attention back to her collection of clothes, shaking her head. She did not like what she saw and no amount of staring at it had so far helped the situation. The problem was that she saw no way out of it.

Is there a problem with the wardrobe? William tried to find out what his witch was pondering.

Yes. But it's not the thing itself of course, was the response.

Of course, William agreed in an obvious ignorance that did not sit well with him. And you are not going to tell me what it is, right? The problem is too obvious to need pointing out.

Exactly. Hilda sighed.

Then it hit William. You have nothing to wear. After all, underneath that witchy surface Hilda was a woman, and no matter how many dresses and robes were crammed in the wardrobe, all those were part of nothing. Before Hilda could respond he added: So what are we going to do about that?

The wicked witch looked at her wizard. You surprise me.

Makes for a nice change, William shrugged, secretly proud of himself. So. Do we go to the village dressmaker? Or do you have a better place to look for something nice?

"I don't wear nice, wizard. I wear comfortable and witchy. Mostly witchy, but definitely comfortable."

And purple.

Yes. Purple. And red and black. Usually the dressmaker in the village has a good eye for me, so we could go there. Hilda got up from the bed and looked at her wizard. You really surprise me. As a reward William got a kiss on his cheek.

The cats were gathered (which they did not approve of but they had hardly a say in the matter) and soon the four were on their way to the village. As the weather was rather Springy, just as the time of year was, the magicals took their time to enjoy the flight and the environment that was working on coming to bloom again after the winter.

As they entered the village, by broom of course, they slowed down to look at the houses in the streets. Many of them had sustained extensive damage from the heavy snowfall in the winter and the witch knew that not everyone was able to get their house patched up again, not even with the help of their neighbours. I think we should help a bit here and there, William, Hilda said as she landed her broom and hushed Grim off it. William stopped too, but let Obsi hop on his shoulder.

They looked at the nearest house which had a broken window and a sagging roof. Hilda walked to the door and knocked on it. Hey, in there.

It took a while for a woman with a baby on her arm to come outside. The child looked at the witch and squealed. Oh, Grimhilda! said the woman. What can I do for you?

Nothing, except tell me what you need fixed around your house, the witch explained her knocking. We were here anyway so we thought we could help a few people. Hilda turned to William. She lives here alone. Her husband died several years ago.

William nodded as he looked at the baby. Hilda noticed what he was thinking. Don't look like that, wizard. You don't have to be married to get children. Then she turned to the woman again. So, what needs fixing?

The woman started listing the things that desperately needed maintenance until William interrupted her. Perhaps you should tell us what doesn't need fixing. That might be quicker.

Let's start with the window, the roof, the table and chairs and the bathtub, wizard, Hilda closed the discussion and stepped into the house without further comments. Grimalkin rushed in after the witch, if only to get away from the still dirty and cold street. William grinned and went inside too. There was no good in waiting for an invitation from the witch - that would never come and he'd never hear the end of it.

First they went up to the roof, over a few sets of stairs that needed serious attention before going up them, so that was fixed first. In the attic it was clear that the roof had become so heavy with snow that it had simply snapped a few supporting beams that had been quite rotten even before they broke. By applying some clever magic Hilda and William raised the roof and fixed the big beams so the attic was probably better than new. While William took a look at the bathtub, which turned out to be half a barrel with some bits of wood missing, Hilda took care of the shabby table and fixed the chairs so people could sit again without fearing for their lives.

The woman who lived in the house didn't know what to say except several dozen thank you's as she saw everything being fixed. Before they left, Hilda advised the woman to see to it that her child's father started taking proper care of it and its mother. And if he doesn't want to, tell him that we'll pay him a visit to convince him. You know where to find me. The woman seemed to find courage in those words and promised she'd do that.

Their next stop was the dressmaker. The shop looked how it always did, tidy and organised. It took Hilda a moment and a deep breath before she went in. The magicals and their cats were greeted by the couple who owned and ran the shop. Zee honourable Grimhilda! And her veezard! Velcome to our humble business. How can vee serve you?

William grinned openly at the German-sounding welcome as he sensed how Hilda hated that greeting.

It's going to surprise you but I need a new dress, Hilda said. The handiwork these people delivered was amazing, but their level of ineptitude to understand people in general and magicals in particular was a constant source of amazement. And worry. Hilda braced herself for the next question and was not disappointed.

Any particular colour?

The witch crossed her arms over her chest and just stared at the couple. It took a while before the man nodded. I think the honourable witch wants something in the colours she is wearing now, Sieglinde.

But it's all red and black and purple, Sieglinde half-protested, half-complained. As usual.

I'm a very usual witch, Hilda pointed out, to William's surprise. There was not much about her one could call usual. The tailors seemed oblivious to that however and started showing drawings of dresses, samples of colours and all that comes with visiting such an establishment.

William was rapidly less fascinated by the goings-on and rummaged through the piles of fabric and half-finished pieces of clothing. The wizard grinned when he found something that looked like yellow boxer shorts with blue polka-dots. He pulled it over his head like a wig and walked back to Hilda. What do you think of this?

The witch looked at him and scowled. "Blue dots? What has gotten into you, William?"

The tailors stood frozen as they watched William pull the gruesome thing from his head and toss it back on the pile where he had found it. Nice hat, but it messes up my hair, the wizard explained to the two question-laden faces.

Sieglinde opted to continue the discussion with Hilda, while her partner, who went by the wonderful name Ambrose, tried to lure William into buying something. Perhaps a new cloak, or a pair of proper pants?

William frowned. Do you think I'm not wearing proper pants under this cloak? And what's wrong with the cloak anyway?

"I do beg your pardon, but I am a tailor and this cloak is screaming wear at me." Ambrose pointed at a few spots where the fabric clearly had suffered from the adventures it had been subjected to.

I think that gives it its charm. And it is not screaming, William said as he suppressed a grin. Here, listen. Ambrose was not used to dealing with magical people. He leaned in and listened to the cloak, which then screamed. Holy Bejeebus, I think you're right, the wizard then remarked with a magically induced straight face as he helped Ambrose get up.

Hilda looked at Sieglinde who had taken cover behind rolls of purple and red cloth. Something the matter?

2. This can be done better

While Ambrose and Sieglinde regained their appearance, Hilda looked around to see where the cats had disappeared to. The wicked witch was a master in retrieving the two felines as she could sense magic while the wizard still missed that ability. Found you, she notified the two black creatures that had made themselves nearly invisible in a few layers of black velvet. Nice try, but you have to do better next time. She carried both cats through the store where Ambrose stepped instinctively back when Hilda came close.

Thank you for locating them, witch, William said. He already knew what Hilda's next plan was. He missed the magic-sensing, but their link was strong.

I don't think we're going to do business with you today, Hilda said. The purple is the wrong shade of purple, but that may be the light. We'll come back when you've recovered from whatever it is you are recovering from.

When they had left the shop and were on their brooms again William remarked that Hilda had been quite mild to the people.

You know, William, the reality of it is that I like these people, and they make fine things. It's just not happening today, so it's a bit of a political play to keep them friendly.

Political. You. William knew he would never learn everything about his witch.

More play than politics, of course, Hilda grinned. They'll have a big surprise when they try to move the black velvet that our cats occupied for a while.

But with all that you still have nothing to wear, William reminded her.

True. I'll think of something, though. Hilda was already thinking of something, but William did not need to know that yet.

As they arrived home they found a mere four arrows on the message pole in front of their house. A fifth was located in the door, something that the house needed to complain about of course.

You should make it more clear that people are supposed to put their message-arrows in the pole, not in my door.

I'll go out this afternoon and put up large signs everywhere in the forest about that for the archers, William said.

Thank you, the house responded. I do appreciate that.

I just hope the archers can read, William grinned.

That won't be a problem when we put chains around you as soon as we leave, Hilda pointed out. No one will attempt to shoot an arrow into the chain, they know that won't work.

Chains bring about other problems, the house declared solemnly, without going into the details. They had gone over that often enough to leave that part out of the discussion.

And securities, Hilda could not hold back. She looked at William who sat at the table, reading the notes. The look on his face told her that most of the messages did not involve much adventure. It's my turn to make dinner and your turn to go out and help people.

William sighed as he looked at his witch. You...

I know, Hilda grinned as she sat down on the couch, stretching her legs as Grimalkin hopped into her lap. And as you can see, I am occupied at the moment.

William muttered something to himself as he tore up one of the messages that they had found. One to come to a nearby village to help build a wall. That is not our job unless the wall is impressive. He looked at the next message. This might be interesting. Someone claims there is a group of gnomes destroying their garden.

Garden gnomes? Hilda asked, looking over her shoulder. Gnomes were usually fun to deal with.

Doesn't specifically say. Whoever wrote this was in a hurry. It does look like fun though.

Grimalkin was promptly removed from her favourite spot and stared with displeased yellow eyes at the witch who got up and walked off to see the note for herself.

Have gnomes in garden, big problem, situation unbearable, Hilda read out. In Slipton? That's not even very far from here. She frowned. We should do something about that, William. Gnomes and rabbits share a trait and it's not carrots. Before you know it they're in our garden.

William knew better than to remark that their 'garden' might actually benefit from a gnome infestation. Let's go to Slipton then. Or rather, I'll go. You're in charge of dinner or am I mistaken?

Hilda put her hands on her hips. We'll find something on the way. That settled the issue. A dual meowing from near the door made it clear that the cats were more than happy to go along and play with the gnomes.

You were going to put up signs for archers, the house reminded the wizard.

We'll fix something on the way, William shrugged. Worst things first.

Just wait until you've had an arrow shot into your woodwork, the house growled.

Soon the magicals and their cats, all wrapped in warm cloaks, were on their way again.

-=-=-

Slipton was one of those quaint little villages that had a typical charm to it. Slipton's charm was in its smell, because many a famous baker came from there, and new bakers were constantly being trained so the scent of freshly baked bread was always around.

Bakers? William wondered. That's special.

The baker in our village is from here also, Hilda lectured. He was the best of the baker's dozen of his year. They only deliver thirteen bakers each year, you should know.

Oh? William was not prepared for that revelation.

One a month, and a spare just in case, Hilda clarified as she saw the wizard's surprise. And I think I see where we're wanted. She pointed down at a huge area of land, half of which was carefully coloured with budding flowers that attempted to withstand the cold wind, and the other half looked like a battlefield. As the two brooms flew lower, the magicals saw six people standing at the edge of the field of flowers. They all stared at the part of the field that looked freshly destroyed. Once Hilda and William touched down, they saw a massive amount of garden gnomes in the deflowered field. The six people stood and stared at the small army of grey stone men with their shovels and wheel barrows.

I wonder what they're doing, William wondered as they walked to the human and hopefully talkative contingent of the staring contest. The gnomes looked like a boringly silent lot.

Hilda announced their arrival. A woman asked the others 'if they had them', without taking her eyes off the gnomes. Only after at least three confirmations were voiced did the woman blink and look at the magicals. I am so glad you are here, she said as she rubbed her eyes. They're really becoming a problem.

Hilda looked at the garden gnomes. Not the regular kind I guess? The little creatures did not strike her as odd, except that they stood still.

No. As long as we look at them they stand there. If we don't look, or when we blink at the same time, they approach and start damaging the flowers. In the daytime it's not too difficult to keep them under control this way, but when it's dark it becomes hard. We lack proper light, and it's still very cold at night.

How long has this been going on already? Hilda asked, as William and Obsi walked over to the grey statues.

A few days. At first we thought they were here to help so we did not pay attention to them. But then they did this, in half a day, the woman said as she pointed at the dishevelled area. After ruining one of our larger flower fields further to the south.

Damn, these things are heavy.

Hilda looked up and saw William come back. He carried one of the gnomes in his arms, the thing wrapped in a piece of rough cloth. Are you crazy, wizard? You don't carry garden gnomes around like they're... statues!

William laughed. That's how this one feels though. And if looking at them is the problem, then blindfolding them is the solution I think. This one is quite harmless at the moment. He laid the wrapped up gnome on the ground. It didn't move.

Is that really all we have to do? the woman asked as she prodded the rigid shape with her foot.

Hermina, can you take over from Joe for a while? someone of the staring group called out. He got some sand in his eyes.

Sorry, have to stare, said the woman called Hermina. She turned to the field of gnomes and stared while a teen-aged boy vigorously rubbed his eyes and blinked as if his life depended on it.

Joe, come here, William waved the boy over. Do you know if there are more rags like that around? He pointed at was around the gnome.

Sure, my uncle's a miller. He has lots of sacks, for the flour. I can run over to him and get some.

Hilda shook her head. That would take too long. She made her broom float and hopped on it. Sit behind me and hold on, boy. And tell me where to go. We'll be back as quickly as we can, William. Let Grim and Obsi help in the staring, they're good at that. And off flew the witch, with a yelping boy behind her. The cats sat down close to William's legs and kept their eyes on the so far unmoving gnomes.

Hilda and Joe flew fast. Joe had pointed in the direction of his uncle's mill and the witch took the shortest route to it. The mill got closer and larger at a speed Joe had never before encountered. He also hoped this was the last time, because crashing into it seemed unavoidable.

Hilda brought the broom to a full stop at the open door that led into the mill. Joe jumped off the broom, his knees shaking. The sacks are inside, he said and pointed. The witch followed him and saw a genuine treasure trove of sacks and bags. Joe grabbed and soon had his arms full. If you can take this many too, he suggested, full of hope.

Drop those, kid, Hilda told him. We're here for lots of them, not an arm full. We'll take all of them. Stunned, Joe dropped the sacks, invoking a flour-based dust cloud. Hilda popped up her wand and cast a spell that condensed