Hilda: Back to school

By Paul Kater

Hilda the witch and William make plans for a trip. Due to circumstances, it does not become the trip they had planned...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paul Kater
• Release date: Sep 12, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465967725

Paul Kater

Paul Kater was born in the Netherlands in 1960. He quickly developed a feel for books and languages but ended up in the IT business despite that. Books and languages never ceased to fascinate him, so since 2003 he's been actively writing, encouraged by friends on the internet. The internet is the reason why most of his work is in English. A friend asking for writing help is why some of his writing is now also in Dutch. Paul currently lives in Cuijk, the Netherlands, with his books, possibly with cats, and the many characters he's developed in the past years, who claim he is a figment of their imagination.

Book preview

Hilda - Back to school

by Paul Kater

Published by the author at Smashwords as a member of the

Alexandria Publishing Group

© 2011 Paul Kater

License Notes, Smashwords Edition:

Thank you for downloading this free ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form. Thank you for your support.

Other books in this series:

Hilda the wicked witch (Smashwords, July 2010)

Hilda - Snow White Revisited (Smashwords, September 2010)

Hilda - The Challenge (Smashwords, December 2010)

Hilda and Zelda (Smashwords, February 2011)

Hilda - Cats (Smashwords, April 2011)

Hilda - Lycadea (Smashwords, June 2011)

Contents:

Gratitude

1. We need some time away

2. At Babs's

3. The restaurant at the end of the street

4. Marcus Welby

5. Magical friends

6. Day trip

7. The house of fun

8. Back to Babs's

9. Welcome to school

10. Kids, here are your new teachers

11. Eye-magic coordination

12. A question comes up

13. An answer does not come up

14. Well, what do you say...

15. Dragon class

16. So how did you get that pegasus?

17. Talks, good and bad

18. Well into the night

19. A crazy looney

20. Searching the dear deer

21. A deer does not want to be found

22. Clash of the cauldrons

23. Race against the cauldron

24. You know your brooms

25. The broom race

26. An unexpected visitor

27. Dragon removal

28. So, tell me...

29. A sick witch

30. A kids' day off

31. A talk with Balthasar

32. Party

33. Look who came to the ball

34. The looneys

35. Stunts and more

36. Winging the dragon

37. Messing with dragons

38. The chest

39. Balthasar

40. Too much of a romantic

Gratitude.

A big thank you to Carol Edwards, for looking over the text and spotting all the oddities that are not the doings of Hilda.

Also thank you to several people who agreed to feature in this story in some form or other - I am sure you will recognise yourself. I hope you find your characters entertaining!

And then a thank you to everyone who downloaded this book and looks forward to join Hilda and William in more antics. I am humbled and joyed at the same time, when I see how many people appreciate the stories of the wicked witch.

And now it is time to go Back to school.

Paul Kater - September 2011.

1. We need some time away

Wizard?

Yes, witch? William did not open his eyes. The location of the couch was perfect to catch the sun, and Hilda's location, draped on top of him, was perfect to feel comfortable. Of course, the couch in question was outside, in full sunlight.

Do people in that silly world where you came from all have the ability to become a wizard like you did, or a witch like me?

No, not that I know of. I guess it was your charming presence that helped me- oompf.

The latter was not something he had intended to say, but Hilda's elbow in his stomach made it an involuntary addition.

Why don't you lie still, witch?

Because I am talking to you, wizard. Hilda looked at the face of the man she used as mattress. She pondered the time they had been together so far, and how many things they had weathered over that period. And you aren't even looking at me!

William peered through the slits of his eyes. That's because the sun is directly behind you, Hilda dearest, so trying to look at you won't do much for my actually seeing you.

Hilda sighed and snipped her fingers. A large party-tent like contraption appeared over them, taking away all William's objections. So, as I said...

The witch frowned for a moment as she recalled she had not been actually saying something. Anyway....

William grinned. This was how he knew and loved his witch.

Did I say something funny? Hilda scowled, suspecting one of his strange ideas.

Not yet. But I am certain something will come soon.

Oh, hush you, Hilda tried to grumble at him, but she could not suppress a grin. Crappedy crap, you are confusing me, wizard. Stop that. I want to say something.

Then say it.

Then let me!

So bring it out, witch!

Suck an elf, wizard, now I forgot what I was going to say!

Then be quiet! said the house.

Don't interfere! Hilda snapped at it. We fight when we want to. We don't need approval from you!

Are we fighting? William wondered.

Be quiet, I am having an argument with my house.

William stared at the witch and grinned once more. She really had one of her moods again.

What?! Hilda demanded to know of him.

Hilda, sweet witch, I think you need a vacation.

Why that? Her voice was sounding slightly hostile now.

Because you, and I also, are constantly on the go, running and flying around to catch ghosts, dealing with cat women, saving damsels in distress, and the list goes on.

That's what we do, wizard. Crappedy crap, who does it if we don't? Hilda moved about a little, not that she needed to but she had to have some reason to reapply her elbow to William's stomach.

He was prepared now, though, so he did not need to release another oompf.

I really think that some time away, just having fun and no obligations would be a very good thing, Hilda, William said. A vacation.

Oh. Sure. And leave current affairs to the flower witches of the village, right? They can't even help themselves, magically, so forget about the real work.

Look, witch, we've been away for business many times already, and so far everything worked out just fine here, so don't give me that feeble argument. If something is meant to go wrong here, it will happen whether we're here or not.

Hilda looked at the wizard and tried to find a hole in his logic while she also considered what he actually said. The latter made the former difficult, because some time away to do nothing had a very appealing ring to it.

I don't know why, but somehow you seem to make sense today, William. Maybe I am rubbing off on you after all. Tell me more, can you?

William explained that he had this idea of going away, for a short while, perhaps a week or so. We can go to places we both like and spend some time there, and move on when we feel like it. No problems on our hands, no people harrassing us. No nagging house...

The house remained quiet in a very annoyed way. They both sensed it more than they heard it.

Hilda lay down on her wizard again and snipped the sunblocker away. I like that idea. If we don't like being away we can always come back. Hmmm... Now you be a good wizard and lie still while I think of a nice place to go.

The state of being silent did not last very long.

Oompf. The wizard had dropped his defenses and lived to regret it.

I know! Hilda beamed as she looked at William. This is going to be a surprise! She was on her feet and out of William's view in a record time.

The wizard was not entirely sure if he was ready to learn about the surprise. Always when Hilda got this excited, something extraordinary was about to happen, so he hoisted himself from the couch and sauntered over to the house.

Hilda was talking into her crystal ball, and in there were the unmistakable features of Baba Yaga.

William scratched his head as the destination of the vacation that Hilda had in mind became clearer.

Crappedy crap, that will be great! Yes! We will come over as soon as possible, Babs!

Scratch 'became clearer' and make that 'became definitely clear'.

We're going on a vacation, William! We're going to see Babs. Hilda was close to bouncing in her shoes for joy, and that made William smile, walk up to her and take her in his arms.

Yes, we're going to visit Babs, Hilda. He grinned. This vacation promised to be more interesting than anything he might have thought of.

So, wizard who knows so much. What do people take with them when they go on vacation? Hilda asked as she walked to the kitchen and told it to make tea. And cookies - Oh, William, do you want cookies? Yes, get us some cookies too.

From the kitchen all kinds of sounds emerged as William mentioned comfortable clothes, perhaps some books, and a relaxed attitude.

Oh. That's not exciting, Hilda said. She was slightly disappointed already. All her clothes were comfortable. And she had read all her books so often already that there was hardly a point in taking them along. But the relaxed attitude sounded good. Is that really all? she wondered.

I think when we go to Babs that would be all, yes. For a sunshine vacation we'd have bathing suits and stuff like that, but I don't think that will be necessary.

Bathing suits? Hilda was not sure what to think of that. Can you magic one up so I know what you are babbling about? I'll get the tea while you work on that. She trotted off to the kitchen, pointed at the teapot and the cups and made them float to the table. A tray with cookies followed.

William picked up a block of wood and turned that into a proper bathing suit and a bikini.

So, wizard, what do you- what's that?!

Bathing suits.

For men and women? Hilda stared at the garments. I don't want to see you walk around in either one, William.

No, these are both for women, Hilda.

Hilda picked up the bikini. Quite skimpy if you ask me.

That, sweetwitch, is not skimpy. The wizard plopped some more magic onto the bikini. This is skimpy.

Uhm. Oh. Hilda looked at the miniature pieces of cloth. That - uhm - says it all, doesn't it? And shows it all too. And you are not kidding me. She knew. Their bond told her that William was honest about these things. The bathing suit looked more reasonable to her, but she was quite convinced she was not going to need that either.

Perhaps you'd better turn those things back to wood. At least we can use that. I'll pour the tea.

-=-=-

Two brooms, two magical people and two magical cats were high in the air, flying towards the dismal forest where Baba Yaga's hut was located. The scenery beneath was ever changing. The lush forests in King Walt's realm had been replaced with wide stretches of grassland where herds of sheep and goats were tended by people who carefully looked up. They knew the wicked witch and how she liked to wreak havoc on their herds, giving all kinds of colours to the animals, or making the goats sing nursery rhymes for days. And nights. But this time they were spared such a fate, because the witch was going on a vacation.

Babs was really looking forward to our visit, William, Hilda told him for the fourth time. She said she could do with some time off as well, so the three of us can go out and see places and do things!

William grinned. Her happiness about the vacation was growing with every moment they were coming closer to their destination. This vacation had been a good idea.

Oh, look! Hilda pointed. That's a long time since I saw that! We have to go there and see what it is now.

The 'it' had once been a large building, probably a castle. The building had been reduced to a collection of walls and a lot of rubble. William could only guess what had happened there, but it did not look like the relatively harmless tooth of time had gnawed at the place.

As they flew on, Hilda pointed out more and more places that were worth a visit, and William wondered how long they would actually be on vacation. The week he had in mind suddenly seemed far too short already.

The dismal forest, Baba Yaga's home sweet home, came into view. The magicals flew high, as the branches of most trees here were out to grab flying things and squash them. William followed Hilda as she turned and dove into the forest. She knew the safest way to get to Babs's place.

After a wicked slalom, so wild that even the cats complained, they touched down outside the eight foot high fence that marked the area that Baba Yaga claimed as her personal domain. Of course, this was merely a decoration as nobody had any desire to live here, apart from her.

The local witch had done some work on the fence, Hilda noticed. See that? She really touched the place up!

The fence was made of enormous bones. They all were black.

Babs, the witch yelled out, is it safe to come in?!

For a few minutes nothing occured, but that didn't worry the visitors. Then the door creaked open and Baba Yaga appeared in the opening.

Hilly! Willy! Give me a moment. The witch stomped the floor. Down, you.

The hut, standing on its four giant chicken legs, lowered itself so Babs could step out comfortably. She popped up a wand, muttered something, and part of the fence in front of Hilda vanished. Come in, kids! Sorry about the wait, I am trying to teach this house a few new things but it is stubborn.

I know how that feels, said Hilda as she hugged the ugliest witch in existence. How are you, girlfriend?

All the better for seeing you two, Babs cackled. Come here, Willy, give us a hug.

William had long since gotten used to hugging the ugly witch. Babs, good to see you again.

You really did a nice job with the bones, Hilda commented as Babs closed the fence. Quite surprising and unique.

Baba Yaga nodded as she looked along the high row of black bones. I did try several colours, but somehow black makes it come out best. Dark grey is just too dull, and blood red is so... joyous.

You tried purple? Hilda offered.

No. Baba Yaga replied just a bit too instantly.

William was convinced that it was a camouflaged groan.

Oh. Too bad. But then, it's your fence.

Babs invited the two into her hut. I did something to my home, I am curious if you'll notice it.

2. At Babs's

As they entered the hut, the first things Hilda and William noticed were the large green-marbled staircases that led up to the ceiling of the hut to the far left and right. Grim and Obsi curiously looked around in this new and strange place.

Hilda looked at the wooden floor, then regarded the two grand staircases again. Isn't that a bit much?

You mean one of them would be enough? Baba Yaga asked.

That, or perhaps none of them.

Oh. Hmm.

What are they for anyway? William asked.

Decoration, of course, my hut has no upper floor. I just thought having a hut with a bigger inside than outside would be special, Babs explained. But then there was so much room that I try filling up all that space this way. I already worried you did not like the colour.

Now you mention that- Hilda began.

They are never going to be purple, Babs cut her off.

Tut, tut, give a witch a break, will you? I thought that grey would be better. Or brown, like the floor.

I like them green, Baba Yaga said. Now, come to the grand living room, you will be surprised when you see what I did there.

Hilda looked at William and her mouth formed 'grand living room'?

William looked as puzzled and surprised as she did and shrugged slowly. Then they followed Babs.

You should do something about this hall, Hilda commented. It feels as if we've not come any closer to the door of your living room.

"Grand living room, and it is all illusion, we've not moved a step so far, isn't that a display of superior magic?" Baba Yaga sounded proud of herself.

Then tell me how our cats are already sitting by the door, Hilda grinned.

Because your mutts don't follow the rules of magical logic, Baba Yaga sighed. There is something weird about them. That's why they fit with you two so well. The ugly witch snipped her fingers and the three were at the door to the grand living room.

Did she just magic us around? William wondered. It was not common for magicals to use magic on each other, but Baba Yaga was as much common as Hilda, he realised after asking his question.

She did, Hilda confirmed.

And I appreciate that you did not resist, Babs said. Her face rippled, and the visitors knew that she was smiling.

With what was meant to be a wide gesture, Baba Yaga opened the door.

Obsi and Grim jumped away before being smacked in places they preferred to remain unsmacked.

Babs let her guests go into the grand living room first. This of course failed. The cats were faster because they were more curious.

William and Hilda let the first impression sink in. It felt similar to a block of lead going down into an empty well, including the solid thud at the end of the trip.

So? What do you think? their hostess asked.

The room was laid out in black and white tiles. Many of them. Everywhere. 'Everywhere' included the walls and the ceiling. As well as the furniture.

It's.. ehm... different. Hilda held on to William as the overload of tiles made her feel kind of whoozy for a while.

It is, Babs agreed. I am still not certain that I like it. I heard that some faraway queen had something like that and decided to try it. Perhaps there is something required for this to work, some extra information that did not make it here.

I think so, girlfriend, Hilda nodded with hope and vigour. The room with all its black and white tiles was still getting to her. Maybe it is a good idea to turn this back to something we recognise. At least for now.

Baba Yaga nodded. There seemed to be a hint of sadness in her wrinkles, but she drew her wand, spoke a spell, and the giant space was empty except for a spot near a window that held the chairs and the table they all knew.

The floor was made of wood again, as was the ceiling. Hilda released her death grip on William's arm and breathed more easily.

This does feel more like home, Babs said. To the visitors' delight there was an approving tone in her voice. Come, sit, let's talk. I'll make tea. If someone wants that horrendous coffee brew, William's in charge.

Once they all were settled, Babs wanted to know more about this vacation idea that William had put in Hilda's mind. She nodded as the explanation made things clear, and thought it a great idea.

I'm really happy that you chose me as your destination to relax and that you want to stay here for a while. It's not that I need company of course, but it is really nice to have your bestest friends around for a while!

Tea, coffee and chocolate chip cookies flowed while the three friends reminisced over the adventures they had gone through together.

When suppertime arrived (it did so rather quietly, surprising the trio that it was that time already), William asked if there was a village or a town nearby where they could go to eat.

And why is that, wizard? Baba Yaga asked with her interpretation of a frown. Are you afraid that my food will suddenly kill you?

William burst out laughing, not caring a bit that this would tick off their hostess as long as he didn't offer a decent explanation. He did manage to tell them about simply going out for a meal though, once most of his amusement had subsided.

The witch-force understood. So that is something normals do when they go on vacation. It might be interesting to act like normals and go out, indeed, Babs grinned. We happen to have a town here. Not very close to the forest, but it is easy to get to.

Well alright then, William said. Let's get ourselves ready for supper and head over there.

What do you mean 'get ready'? We're ready already, Hilda informed him. Maybe this vacation idea has more strange things coming. If it does, why don't you tell us about that now, all in one go, so we are prepared?

Or better, tell us when we are having supper, Baba Yaga suggested. Let's get to the brooms and head over to the town.

Hilda and William collected their cats, Babs made exiting the house easy by doing something to the large hall with the two staircases, and then off they went, to town, for supper.

The weather was wonderful, the altitude was perfect for not being grabbed by trees (Babs knew her forest) and the cats lay on the bristles, looking down at the world that sped along.

This is really exciting, Babs said to the others. Of course, sometimes I go to the town, but not that often. Last time was... hmmm... well, quite a while ago.

We don't go to the village often either,