Getting to 50/50: How Working Parents Can Have It All

By Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober

Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober are professionals, wives, and mothers. They understand the challenges and rewards of two-career households. They also know that families thrive not in spite of working mothers but because of them. You can have a great career, a great marriage, and be a great mother. The key is tapping into your best resource and most powerful ally—the man you married. After interviewing hundreds of parents and employers, surveying more than a thousand working mothers, and combing through the latest government and social science research, the authors have discovered that kids, husbands, and wives all reap huge benefits when couples commit to share equally as breadwinners and caregivers. Mothers work without guilt, fathers bond with their kids, and children blossom with the attention of two involved parents. The starting point? An attitude shift that puts you on the road to 50/50—plus the positive step-by-step advice in this book. From “baby boot camp” for new dads to exactly what to say when negotiating a leave with the boss, this savvy book offers fresh ideas to today’s families offering encouragement, hope, and confidence to any woman who has ever questioned her choices regarding work and family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Release date: Sep 10, 2013
• ISBN: 9781936740673

Sharon Meers

Sharon Meers leads global business development and sales for X.commerce the open commerce platform of eBay helping merchants grow with better technology. Formerly Meers was a managing director at Goldman Sachs where she worked for 16 years and was co-chair of the Women's Network in the Investment Management Division. She and her husband founded the Partners for Parity at Stanford Business School and the Dual-Career Initiative at Harvard.Joanna Strober is Managing Director of a fund investing in private partnerships at Sterling Stamos an investment firm in Silicon Valley and the founder of the "working stiffs" mom's group. As one of the few females in private equity in Silicon Valley Strober has been featured in the front page of the Wall Street Journal for launching several well known companies.Sheryl Sandberg is chief operating officer at Facebook. Prior to Facebook she was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google and chief of staff at the U.S. Treasury Department. Sheryl lives in Menlo Park, CA with her husband and their two children.

Reviews for Getting to 50/50

[readhanded · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Lots of good points with research cited to back them up. This book talks about the partnerships that must occur in marriages to support two working parents. It also stresses the benefits of mothers who work and encourages women to be in the work force. Easy to read and segmented well. Not the best book of this type I have read, but I will be passing it on to my working sister who is about to have a baby.

[jsgustafson · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I liked the book, but it dispensed more common sense than anything ground breaking. I like the fact that the chapters were broken down in easy read sections. Easy to put down and pick back up at your leisure.

[thenovelworld_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The book is filled with some interesting tips, but nothing that really stood out. The book is mostly aimed at men, I felt. If men do their fair share at home & be more understanding at the office, then less women will feel guilty about returning back to work.

[taw08 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Great ideas for the working momma! Can read bits and pieces of it to help you through working world and mommy-hood!

[stephvin · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book was a really excellent guidebook on how couples can successfully share parenting and make it work. The key seems to be picking a partner who accepts that parenting is a 50-/50 proposition. The authors have researched long term effects on children of working mothers and relationships between mothers and fathers and how that relationship itself is key to making the partnership and successful parenting work. The book offers tips on how to share duties even while breastfeeding and how to segueway back to work and help each other. Their findings optimistically make parents feel they can both work and raise children if they work at it and work with each other as equally as possible. This was a great work that debunked a lot of the old theories that mothers should stay home when they parent because it pointed out how mothers then lose out on developing their job skills and how it makes them less happy. However, the authors also do not discourage mothers who wish to parent and stop working. Altogether a helpful optimistic book I would recommend for my own daughter who just had her first baby and who is returning to the work place.

[collsers_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

As a working mom, with a spouse who also works full-time, I really appreciated this book. There is of course no one solution to "having it all," but Meers made me think a lot about ways to better distribute the workload of parenting and housekeeping in my marriage. Would recommend for any working parents.

[rayneofdarkness · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I'll admit I don't have any children but eventually down the road it will happen. I thought this sounded like a good book to get into the mind set of when it does happen I'll be ready for idea of having to juggle work, home, pets, children, and everything else that will come up. The tips for married couples is very valuable with the simple things that once both couples are working and spend more time with "co-workers" rather than your family you forget to mention things as your life is more tuned to what needs to be done by Monday. It's a book that you could give to a newly wed couple and they would find it valuable as they go through life's changes together.

[lawonder10 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Getting to 50'50 is written for working parents, trying to juggle home and family. It's primary objective is to aid parents in a working an acceptable solution to the problems that evolve when both parents try to build their careers without neglecting their children in any way.The book is divided in to three parts. Part one entails the virtues of having both parents working. Part two centers on getting rid of "myths" about both parents working. Part three suggests ways to make the 50/50 theory work in one's own situation.While many good points are made in each section, in my opinion, it is too utopian.The positive side...In rare cases this system could work. For an increasing amount of single parents, this book can offer helpful ideas and reduce the amount of parental guilt the single parent often feels. It could be used as a guideline in finding help through a child care assistant. Another positive point is, there is still inequality in the work force. A woman is often not given equal pay for the same work a man does. In some instance a woman is still passed over for promotions, simply because she is a woman. As stated in the book, this situation has improved greatly since the movement in the 6o's and 70's but it is still there. The final positive point, I find, is that although the problem is increasingly diminishing, men still are under the misconception that their work is outside the home and the home and children are the wife's/mother's responsibility. This idea had some merit when men and boys worked the fields and did outside chores before dawn until after dark. They worked very hard, physical labor and required hearty meals and a little relaxation which often entailed reading the bible or other stories to the families encircled about them - either father, mother, or an older sibling. Then exhausted, thy all fell into bed for much needed slumber. Te women taught the daughters from young toddlers to do their share of the household work. That was a strong family unit.The negative side... First: There are too many situations in life causing 50/50 not to work. Perhaps a spouse develops health issues. Their strength and endurance will not match the other spouses. often one spouse is capable of more because of higher energy levels. Secondly:Often the two marry when both are still earning degrees. Often one must quit school and work while the other pursues their degree. Hopefully, once that happens, he/she will then work extra hard to enable the other too continue their education. Sometimes a child is born, causing the mother to quit the schooling for a period of time. If the husband is working up the "corporate ladder" he cannot be expected to take over child care also, if there are not funds to hire a nanny to help. (That can also prove disastrous.) Final negative, It may be fine from a woman's point of view, but as stated in the book, most men do not have the same nurturing instincts and capabilities most women have - I say most because there are exception to the basic rule. I thoroughly believe the father should have an active role in the physical care and nurturing of each child. but primarily the woman is usually more effective in this role.It is marvelous, however, in this day and age, many parents can stay at home and still be employed. I feel this is especially true for women who feel they need the extra distraction from the daily duties of motherhood. It allows them to pursue a career from home and still "be there" for their children. It also allows them to better control of the times they need to be other places. Marriage is sometimes 20/80 and other times 60/40. depending on certain situations one has to carry the larger load and in other times he/she will then carry the lesser load. Anyway, hoe many men/women actually end up in the career he/she majored in at college?I think this is a good reference book. Although the authors try to appear to be objective, it is very biased toward encouraging all women to be career oriented. It is also way to "wordy" and t times repetitive.They have good intentions and went to a lot of research to solidify their points. I therefore, have to give them a book review rating of Three solid Stars.

[mermaidatheart · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I think the value of this book is that it justifies mothers who have already made the choice to work. No matter what a mother chooses, she's going to feel guilty some of the time over it. This book offers strong evidence in favor of two working parents. The practical side of it makes sense, as long as you have a husband who is on board with it. Even a progressive male man take a lot of cajoling to actually take on 50% of the household in addition to 50% of the income. But overall, I found it well-written and researched, and a worthwhile read.

[chsbellboy_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

 This book takes an interesting perspective on dual-income families in the United States. They talk about sharing the burdens of life and careers so that ultimately, family life, work, and enjoyment are all balanced in a healthy manner.