It’s 1982. Shoulder pads are in, the hair is big. White wine spritzers are the height of chic and Culture Club gets you on the dance floor. Women are stealthily working their way up the professional ranks. Hell, there is even a woman running the country (hi, Maggie aka Margaret Thatcher). Oh, and everyone you know is reading Having It All: Love, Success, Sex, Money (Even If You Started With Nothing) by Helen Gurley Brown.
You may not be a fan of the term but, back then, ‘having it all’ was a big deal. Helen, who at the time had been at the helm of Cosmopolitan US for 20 years, was “a trailblazer in the women’s liberation movement”, says Canada-based Kaitlynn Mendes, professor of gender, media, and sociology at the University of Leicester. “Rather than being bound to the home, ‘having it all’ represented ambition beyond what was expected of women at the time.”
Even though Helen did not invent the phrase, she made it shorthand for the notion that women can have a family, career, and good sex. However, some have since said it applies unnecessary pressure to women to be all things to all people. Men have also quite rightly raised that they want the freedom to spend time raising their family, too. It also left little nuance for race, sexuality and gender identity, focusing on heterosexual cisgendered women.
So I am not here to debate whether we can or cannot ‘have it all’. That argument has been had to death on every platform, by everyone from politicians to prize-winning feminist scholars (and
