By Example: Twelve Personal Missions That Will Maximize Your Human Potential

By Travis Slone

The great Seneca once warned, "If we do not know to which port we are sailing, no wind will be favorable to us." This wise quote speaks to the importance of developing purpose, direction, and motivation not from others, but from within.

By Example is a pathway toward that goal. Whether in leadership, or in life, these twelve personal missions will empower you to influence widespread positive change, and to maximize your own unique human potential.

As the title suggests, this program will challenge you to focus primarily on yourself, and to accept responsibility for your own legacy. By completing each training exercise, you will learn to combat challenges with both insight, and healthy habits.

To live and lead this way requires a lifelong process of learning and growth. Therefore, why wait another day? Begin where you are; open this thought-provoking guide, and strive to live life... By Example.

The Missions
1: Begin Where You Are
2: Choose a Healthy Worldview
3: Define What You Want to Be Like
4: Cultivate Self-Awareness
5: Set Goals, and Evaluate Yourself
6: Balance Your Personal Strength
7: Overcome Adversity & Stress
8: Live to Learn and Grow
9: Make Your Work Meaningful
10: Maximize Your Resources
11: Develop Healthy Relationships
12: Leave a Legacy

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: Apr 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9781456616175

Book preview

Soldier.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Both TRAVIS and HUGH were born in the Midwest United States, and began their military careers in Basic Combat Training at the junior enlisted ranks.   They each served more than ten years as non-commissioned officers (NCOs) in a variety of leadership positions, and graduated from the U.S. Army’s Senior Leader Course before being commissioned as Behavioral Science Officers in 2011.   

They are honor graduates of the Army’s rigorous Master of Social Work (MSW) Program, and have since worked in a variety of prevention, treatment, and recovery settings.   They are both Licensed as Clinical Social Workers (LCSW) in the state of North Carolina, and have provided care and consultation to numerous soldiers, couples, families, small groups, and military units.   

TRAVIS grew up as a ‘military brat’ throughout the United States and Germany. Today he is a husband, father of three children, and author of three books.   His experience with open-heart surgery as a young soldier, and the challenging recovery process, has inspired both his writing and his work in behavioral health.   

HUGH on the other hand, has deployed to combat on multiple occasions with the 10th Mountain Division, completed the grueling Ironman triathlon, and has overcome many other challenging obstacles in life.   

Together, these authors bring a variety of knowledge, experience, and wisdom as they aim to empower others through this, their first book of its kind, By Example.   It is their hope that this journey will serve you in a variety of ways, all of which contribute positively to the well-being of the Army, the United States of America, and the larger world to which we are all connected.

Perhaps these tools, and the many others that you will discover along the way, will further enable you to thrive in any situation, and to serve this great country with HONOR... as it should be served.   

FOLLOW ME.   HOOAH!

FOREWORD TO THE 2nd EDITION

As the authors of By Example, we would like to thank you for your choice to read and participate in our twelve missions.   This new updated version of the book offers many new stories, additional wise quotes from famous people you may know, and potentially life-changing training plans.   The journey can be made as simple or as complex as you wish. For it was designed to serve as both a leader development tool and a program for positive change and resiliency.

We would like to mention however, that these missions, and the values inherent in each, are those of the authors and of the U.S military.   While we promote and encourage these values as part of service and leadership, we also respect that there are many other equally appropriate and healthy worldviews that can lead to a successful and happy life.   With that in mind, we encourage you to adapt the missions to best fit who you are, and what you wish to accomplish.   

In the end, we are confident that you will see positive results by traveling the metaphorical road that we have set within these pages.   Although we have written this book as soldiers, for soldiers, we believe that the universal principles found within our missions will be just as useful no matter your service affiliation, civilian profession, or particular phase of life challenges.

Regardless of how you ended up with our book in your hands, we are glad that you did, and we wish you the very best as you embark on this honorable mission to live By Example.

Thank you, and enjoy the journey!

-Travis and Hugh

ABOUT THE BOOK

Let’s begin this journey with a concise, yet powerful message, which has been inscribed on a tomb at London’s Westminster Abbey since 1100 A.D.

First, Change Myself

"When I was young and free, and my imagination had no limits; I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat, and decided to change only my country.   But it too, seemed immovable.

As I entered my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I sought to change only my family, those closest to me, but alas!   They would have none of it.   

And now, as I lie on my deathbed and realize (perhaps for the first time), that if only I’d changed myself first, then by example, I may have influenced my family.   With their encouragement and support, I may have bettered my country, and who knows… I may have changed the world."

Most of us wish to make a difference in the world, or to matter in some way.   What the previous message points out is an important fact of life: that our greatest power to create change exists within ourselves.   

For you alone are the common theme in everything you experience, and by changing yourself, you can change the world.

For instance, you may be a member of a family, a social group, a military unit, or a civilian corporation.   However, your capacity to influence those groups is dependent upon your ability, desire, and readiness to change yourself.   For you alone are the common theme in everything you experience, and by changing yourself, you can change the world.

ACHIEVE A LIFE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Throughout this book, you will find little mention of why things happen, or whose fault something is.   On the contrary, this book’s intent is to empower you, the reader, by guiding you on a personal quest to improve only yourself.   By doing this, you will naturally become responsible for all things over which you have even the smallest influence.   If something is broken, fix it.   If there is trash on the ground, pick it up.   If a person asks you for assistance, help them… or better yet… teach them to help themselves.   

This is why we chose the title, By Example.   Throughout both military and non-military organizations around the world, the motto of ‘lead by example’ is echoed.   This book aims to assist individuals in their efforts to live by that motto, until the day when you no longer realize that you are doing it.   

One day, when an inspired follower stops to ask you for your ‘secret’ to success, you can share this personal journey with them, and know that your inner work has been more than enough to create an opportunity for positive change in the world.   

Sometimes, however, people don’t ask; they just follow.   For this reason, we must take personal responsibility for ourselves, and the organizations of which we are a part.   Ask yourself questions like…

What can I do to improve the strength, resilience, or well-being of my family, team, or unit?

Along this journey you will learn two things:   (1) that there is always a solution, and (2) that the solution always begins with you.   Perhaps in the end, feeling confident about your ability to Be, Know, and Do, you will pass this book on to another rising star, or struggling warrior.   In your own unique brand of encouragement, you will offer the following message: "Go forth with honor my friend, and live by example!"

THE TWELVE-MISSION DESIGN

There is no right or wrong way to read this book.   You can choose to read it from front to back, or to begin with a chapter that seems most appropriate for you right now.   Each of our twelve missions could also stand alone as an interesting discussion topic for various group settings.   However you choose, just know that we have designed By Example as a journey for personal growth, and have included a three-phase training plans as part of each mission.   We recommend this approach, which was designed using a solution-focused, and cognitive-behavioral model for change.   We trust that the social learning theories of Dr. Albert Bandura will explain how your personal efforts to lead by example will also influence others, further enhancing the environment in which you live.   The phases will now be explained in detail.

Phase I

First, before attempting to make any major changes, it is important that you become familiar with our missions, and the integrated learning process.   This will help you understand the road ahead, and prepare you for Phases II & III.

Based on the focus, Phase One is also known as familiarization.   To make the most of this stage, we ask that you choose one challenge in your current life, and focus on it throughout this stage.

This process includes browsing the contents of each chapter, reading only the headings, and answering each of the corresponding Phase One questions.   This can be done in just a few days.   

Once you have finished this initial process, we recommend that you enter Phase Two, where you will find insight-oriented training missions.

Phase II

During this 12-week process of self-discovery, you will read the entire book (if you have not done so already), and complete each of the Phase Two exercises, which are assigned at the end of every chapter.   Since there are twelve chapters, the goal is to complete one personal mission each week.   

If you take the journey seriously, and complete each task to standard, this phase will be challenging, insightful, and rewarding.   To save you time and money, we have included pages for journal writing within this book.   This is the cognitive, or thought-oriented phase.

Phase III

Finally, having completed the first and second phases, you may want to move beyond self-awareness, and create even more positive changes in your life.   For this reason, we have designed each Phase Three mission with an action-oriented (behavioral) approach. For it is here, that you will strive to become a true master of yourself.   

Because this lofty goal requires an ongoing process of both reflection and adaptation, we challenge all of our readers to complete Phase Three at least once.   

Over the course of one year, you will spend an entire month on each mission, creating healthier habits of thinking and behavior as you go.   Throughout this very challenging adventure, you will experience life in ways you perhaps never have.   

This final phase can be done alone, or with a mentor who is also on the journey.   Such a friend can serve as a light during hard times, and you can do the same for them.   They can give you honest feedback, and help to keep you on track.   Just remember, the journey is about you, not them.   Live by example, and others will follow.

ALL CHANGE IS NOT GROWTH

This book is about acceptance, adaptation, and positive change.   It is important to realize that mere change is a naturally-occurring process, requiring no human effort whatsoever.   Therefore, the authors would like to highlight the difference between change and improvement.   

By Example, is about creating positive change, which takes work, and conscious effort.   For in the words of Ellen Glasgow, an American writer and women’s rights activist,

All change is not growth, just as all movement is not forward.

Please take the time to read each story, think about each chapter, complete each practical exercise, and incorporate these changes into your everyday life.   For by improving yourself, you improve those around you, and in some small way, you will even change the world.   

EMBEDDED TOOLS

To save you time and money, we have included journal pages in the printed editions of this book.   You can use these pages to complete the phase I & II exercises, and to keep notes regarding your progress and lessons learned.   

For phase III, we have included a behavioral change calendar, so that you can track your progress throughout each month, and evaluate your efforts toward developing healthier habits.

Additionally, we have included two blank sheets following the journal pages for each mission.   This ‘free space’ can be used for creative conceptualization of the lessons, or whatever you feel is helpful given your particular learning style or artistic talent.

BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

Finally, we offer this foresight before you move on to the first mission.   Just as in life, time is very precious in the military, so we have what’s called the BLUF, or the bottom line up front.   We offer the same for you here.

Simply be where you are, lead by example, and have fun doing it.   The rest is in the details.

Simply be where you are... lead by example... and have fun doing it.   The rest is in the details.   Enjoy the journey!

SPECIAL NOTES

You may find some of