Zombie Killing Stoners, Episode 1: Rescuing the Samoan Princess

By Prof B.T. Mienoré and C. Che Bhalin

The ZomPoc has hit New York City like the 'A' train plowing into a baby stroller. A high rise at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge in Lower Manhattan has become the center of the universe for a group of survivors who think outside the box. Everyone understands the smoke signals from inside the bowl.

This short but sweet first installment packs in:
Lots of Zombies (it's the Big Apple, after all). Explosions. Awesome Views. Big Guns. Big Samoan Drag Queens. Kind Bud. Hot Babes. Mormons. More Zombies. Laughs. Musicians. Thespians. Millionaires. Dogs.

Anyone and anything is fair game for us to poke fun at; absolutely nothing is sacred. So sit back, do whatever works for you to free your mind and don't take this too seriously; it's mental masturbation... not the end of the weed, uh, world ;).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Prof B.T. Mienoré
• Release date: Feb 22, 2016
• ISBN: 9781311447623

Prof B.T. Mienoré

Professor B.T. Mienoré has been the writing partner, encourager, and cohort of C. Che Bhalin for many moons.It is said that he and the Professor courted over tequila while dancing in the rain. The Prof is the yin to C. Che's yang. While C. Che creates, the Professor provides structure, editing, and more detailed explanations while making sure the bowl is full and ready ;). The Prof deals with all of Zombie Killing Stoners' PR, social media, and blogging.

Book preview

ZOMBIE KILLING STONERS

Episode 1: Rescuing the Samoan Princess

By

C. Che Bhalin

&

Professor B.T. Mienoré

Copyright 2015 - B.T. Mienoré & C. Che Bhalin

Smashwords Edition

All Rights Reserved

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We think it's pretty obvious, but in case you are easily offended or have no sense of humor, this is a work of fiction. The brilliant authors either used their imaginations and made things up, or used names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual living or dead persons or actual events is purely coincidental.

You may not reproduce any part of this book in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the authors. It never hurts to ask!

Please buy this book. If you wish to share it, please purchase it as a gift.

The only exception is for our lovely reviewers, who may quote short excerpts in a review. Thank you in advance!

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To Lynda, the love of my life. Thanks for talking to strangers, really I wasn’t stalking you… honest.

And to Erin, who hit the nail on the head.

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Table of Contents

Prologue

1. Unhappy Camper

2. Magic Under-Panties

3. Zombie Porn

4. Ronnie the Voodoo Queen

5. Like Burgers With All the Fixin's

6. Chance Encounters

7. The Dressmaker's Dummy

8. The Shepherdess and Her Flock

9. The 'G' Trip

10. Cindi With An 'I'

11. More Keys

12. Sliding Into Home

13. What's Gonna Happen Now?

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Prologue- And a one-a and a two-a - Hit It Boys!

Sit back folks and smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. You are about to embark on a tale of Homeric proportions about the end of the world. Our tale starts at the beginning of a Herculean endeavor, by a group of the most unlikely of Argonauts that chance could have assembled, to claim their piece of ground and thrive.

These are everyday people thrown together, facing the elephant and eventually fighting back against the unfathomable menace of the newly dead returning from their everlasting slumber to feast upon the flesh of the living. These are everyday people loosely guided by four unwilling Paladins against the pitiless dead and the remnants of a government and society chewing its own self to death, like an animal with its leg caught in the unmerciful jaws of a steel trap.

God and Country are not players in this struggle, as both have abandoned mankind. The cavalry is not coming to save the day, and the timer will not magically stop at the very last second. Mighty Mouse has other things to save on this day.

This is what happens when the fecal matter impacts with the rapidly revolving atmospheric volume accelerator.

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MONDAY, JUNE 10, 2019: 09:56 EDT

CNN BREAKING NEWS

This disturbing news just in from CNN’s Seoul, South Korea office.

Sources in North Korea tell us that there have been unconfirmed reports of numerous violent attacks involving the citizens of this reclusive nation rioting and viciously attacking anyone in their path. These reports also say that the North Korean Army has been mobilized to put down several unprecedented riots in and around the capital of Pyongyang, where the civil disturbances appear to be escalating in size.

Another unconfirmed report out of Pyongyang alleges that the army had commenced firing into the crowds without any advanced warnings, but that perhaps many of the soldiers were using blanks or rubber bullets because so few of the rioting crowd were killed or wounded.

Once again we want to emphasize that these reports are from unofficial sources and are unconfirmed.

We will keep you, our viewers, updated on these interesting developments as soon as more information becomes available.

Next up on CNN: President Romney’s ex-wife, former First Lady Ann Davies Romney and her attorney Gloria Allred comment on the first pictures of President Romney and First Lady Kim K.’s baby girl, Kismetia Krystal Kardashian Romney. You won’t want to miss this.

We’ll be right back.

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MONDAY, JUNE 10, 2019: 11:38 EDT

CNN BREAKING NEWS

Speaking on behalf of President Romney, who is still on his honeymoon yachting somewhere off the coast of the South of France, Press Secretary Crawford Turdoler confirmed that the government of North Korea has indeed begun what appears to be mass open-air executions of its rioting citizens in the capital and surrounding areas. At the same time, he said, it is apparent that the rioters are overrunning many of the North Korean Army’s positions and that large numbers of the North Korean troops at these positions are abandoning their posts and joining the rioters. He also expressed grave concern for the people of South Korea. Satellite images show North Koreans streaming towards the border in huge numbers.

In what some military experts are calling 'pre-emptive positioning', the People's Republic of China has mobilized six of its Army divisions. The Chinese soldiers are in the process of completely sealing off the border with North Korea, using a cordone of steel in an attempt to stop the flow of North Korean refugees.

Secretary Turdoler declined to speculate on the implications of this apparent uprising against the regime of Im Dong-in, but said that both the South Korean and U.S. military have been put on heightened alert.

Asked when President Romney would be returning to Washington to address this highly unusual situation unfolding on the Korean peninsula, Secretary Turdoler stated that "the President doesn’t feel that the situation requires his direct attention at this time and has chosen to continue his stay aboard his personal yacht and enjoy being a new husband and father. He has all