Everything to Me (Book 4): Everything To Me, #4

By Teresa Hill

A Serialized YA/NA Crossover Romance. (Warning: Includes Cliffhangers, Strong Language and Sexual Situations. 18+ Only.)

Dana: I've always been the smart girl, the careful one. 

Not anymore. I feel reckless, desperate. I love him, and it's senior year, my last chance with him before I leave for college, so I'm going to take it.

What could go wrong? Oh, my God, I had no idea.

Peter: I've spent years trying to hide how I feel about her. It gets harder every day.

 For so long, she was my best friend, the first person who truly believed in me, sometimes the only one.

Do I love her? Of course, I do. Can I let her get even deeper into the hellacious mess my life is? 

No way. You don't do that to someone you love.

**Everything To Me (Book 5) on sale Feb. 6th.**

• Language: English
• Publisher: Teresa Hill
• Release date: Jan 13, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524294649

Book preview

1

Dana

---

At first , I think we’ve been robbed.

My room is torn apart, my clothes, my desk, even my bed. Someone’s rifled through everything.

Then I see my mom. She’s sitting on the floor by my bed crying. Why?

I’ve been hiding in the bathtub, with bubbles piled high to cover my bruises so I don’t have to see them, and trying not to think about the desperate way I threw myself at Peter one more time, and — again — he walked away.

He loves me, but he still walked away.

Stupid me, I thought if I ever told him I love him, and if he said he loved me back, everything would be amazing.

Not with us.

And now, my mom has gone crazy. It looks like she’s searched every inch of my room. My parents do not do this. Even if they did, there’s nothing to find. Some embarrassing stuff in my diaries about Peter, but that’s it.

Mom? What are you doing?

She picks up a small white garbage bag, like the ones we use in our bathroom trashcans. It’s wadded up and tiny. Empty, I think.

Then she picks up something else.

A bit of white cloth.

It’s the top I wore to the party, I realize as she holds it up. The left armhole is facing me. Or what used to be the left armhole. It’s ripped open down the seam.

Tripp did that so he could get his hand inside my top and grab my breast.

My jeans are next, the ones I wore that night. I don’t think I even realized it before, because I was so freaked out, but the big metal snap at the waist is gone and the zipper’s broken.

I remember rinsing out my top the next day to get rid of the beer smell. Then I wadded my clothes up, put them in the garbage bag and tied the ends in a knot. I was afraid to throw them away inside the house, and I didn’t want anybody seeing me put them in the garbage can outside.

So I threw the bag under my bed, intending to throw my clothes away the next day, outside or maybe in the garbage cans at school, but with everything going on … I forgot about them.

It’s like reaching for Lizzie’s bowl, just a little thing I forgot that does me in.

The look on my mom’s face is awful. I’ve never seen her so devastated or trying so hard to hold herself together and be strong.

Mom, it’s not what you think, I promise.

He tore off your clothes! Her voice breaks as she says it.

No, he tore my top. My jeans? He did that trying to get his hand in my pants, but that’s it. He never got them off me.

She shakes her head. I don’t believe you.

I groan, because she always believes me. Or did before I started lying to her about what happened at the party. Mom, I get why you don’t believe me now, but it’s true. Look. I twist the towel around until one end stops just past my nipple. Then I pull the other end back so she can see the ugly bruises on one side of my breast.

She gasps, like seeing it hurts her more than it hurt me when it happened, and I feel so awful for keeping this from her and scaring her this way.

This is what he did. He grabbed my breast, this one, squeezed it hard and pinched my nipple. It hurt so much I screamed, and a friend of his made him stop. That’s all that happened.

Dana, I don’t believe you. You’ve kept too many things from us. And I … I’m so sorry, for all of this, but right now we have to get you checked out. It’s too late … for certain things, but there are diseases. You could be pregnant. We have to know —

Mom, he didn’t rape me. I thought for a few scary minutes that he was going to, but I screamed, and one of his friends got him to leave me alone.

No. We’re going. I have a friend — she’s a nurse practitioner and is trained to do exams on sexual assault victims —

I am not a sexual assault victim!

My mom shakes her head. I’ve called her. She’ll meet us in the ER. Put some clothes on. We’re going.

I’m still holding the towel open, so Mom can see part of the bruises on my breast. This is the absolute last mark on my body that I was hiding.

She comes to me and hugs me then, and I feel how hard she’s trembling. It’s going to be okay, I promise. We can handle this. We can get through anything, but you have to let us help you.

I’m not lying now!

That’s when I realize I’ve told too many lies. Believe me now, when I’ve been lying about this all along?

Dana, there’s nothing you can say that’s going to keep me from getting you an exam. My mom tries to be calm as she says it, but she’s determined, too.

I know my mom when she’s made up her mind. Is there anything I can do or say to stop her? Because if not, I’m going to have to take all my clothes off and spread my legs while someone stares at parts of me that no one’s seen since I was Lizzie's age and needed help with my bath.

It sounds awful. I just want to hide.

Mom, please. You have to listen to me —

I’m not saying you have to report this to the police, my mom says, although I hope you will. But that’s not something we have to talk about right now. First, we have to make sure he didn’t give you any STDs and that you’re not pregnant.

She looks so sincere and so scared. I probably deserve this, having to endure this exam, because I’m afraid nothing else will convince her. Not my father or Peter, either.

Which is when I realize, they have to know with absolute certainty that I wasn’t raped because I don’t want them to kill Tripp. As it is, this still may be too much for them to handle without going after him, but I have to try.

And my poor mom … She deserves to know, too. To be sure, because right now she looks like her heart is breaking, while she tries to be so strong for me and do what she thinks has to be done to protect me.

Okay, I’ll go, I tell her, but I have two conditions.

Dana —

You have to give me this. Have you told Dad?

"Not yet.

I’m asking that you don’t say anything to Dad until after the exam, okay?

She nods.

And I have to be the one to tell Peter. I’ll tell him afterward, and then I’ll ask my mom to tell him what did and didn’t happen, and then maybe he won’t go after Tripp.

But my mom looks like it may already be too late. You told him? I ask.

No. I told Zach. I wanted him to help us, legally, to tell us exactly what we need to do to get this awful boy, because he is going to be punished for what he did to you.

And Zach told Peter?

I don’t know. I told him I hadn’t told your dad yet, and I may have told him not to say anything to anybody until we got back from the hospital. I’m not sure, Dana. I’m having a hard time thinking clearly right now. I need to get you this exam. Now.

Okay. I take a breath, tell myself I can do this, that it’s for the sake of everyone I’ve lied to and frightened so much over the last nine days.

I owe them.

Peter

---

I’ll never forgive myself for leaving her at that party and for everything I ever did to push her away. If I hadn't done that, she never would have gone anywhere near Tripp.

I don’t know how she could ever forgive me for those two things.

Zach says there's nothing we can do now but wait to hear from her mom.

How long?

He shrugs. Couple of hours, I’d guess, maybe more, depending on how busy the ER is. Em promised to call as soon as it’s over.

Hours? I won't make it.

Tripp's still out there somewhere. I didn't give him nearly what he deserved in the weight room. My hand in my pocket finds my phone, and I curl my fingers around it, needing the reassurance that Tripp can't hide from me. The tracker Kev put on his phone is still active. All I need is one glance at that app on my phone.

It would be so easy.

I could destroy him.

Then I remember I don't have a way to go anywhere.

Shit. You did the right thing, taking my keys, I tell Zach. You might need to lock me up. Tie me up or something.

You’re not the only one.

I think about being behind bars. A part of me has always wondered if I’ll end up there. I never thought it would be for something like this, because I loved a girl so much and someone hurt her. I’d take the punishment, if I knew she’d be safe. But if I got locked up, she’d be out in this crazy, fucked-up world without me. I can’t watch over her from behind bars.

All those thoughts work their way through my muddled brain. I don’t know what to do or what to say. I don’t have any answers. It’s like I —

My phone rings. Zach and I jump. We look at each other, not at the phone I just yanked out of my pocket. We’re both wrecked.

I finally look down at the screen and freeze. I’m scared to answer. It’s Dana.

Just before it goes to voicemail, I click to accept the call. Man up. If she needs me, I’m going to be there for her. Dana?

Hi, she says softly, tentatively. Did Zach tell you … where we’re going?

I feel like someone’s strangling me. Yes.

Peter, listen to me. It didn’t happen, I swear. She rushes on, one word running into another. I know I don’t deserve to have you believe me right now. But, I promise you, he didn’t do that. He tried. He tore my clothes. I have another big bruise I didn’t tell anybody but Becca about, but that’s all. I’m taking this exam so my mom and you and everybody else will know that I’m okay, because no one believes what I’m saying anymore.

Shit, I have no idea what to say to that. It’s like she believes nothing happened, like she’s convinced of that. What the fuck?

You don’t believe me, either? she whispers.

Baby … It’ll be okay. Promise, it will.

Right. There's a long pause before she says, Okay. I understand. I’ve told way too many lies about this. Do one thing for me?

Anything. Name it.

Don’t do anything until we’re done at the hospital, okay? Promise me? Don’t go after Tripp.

Yeah. Too late for that.

Peter? Tell me you didn’t.

What can I say? It was a shitty day, and that was before I heard where she’s going right now and why.

I hear her trying to hold back a sob. Really? It’s too late?

Dana, you don’t need to be worrying about any of this right now.

I’m worried about you! Not him. You.

You don’t need to. I’m fine. Zach’s sitting right here beside me, listening to everything, so I can’t say as much. I settle for, I’m home, and I’m not going anywhere. Zach took my keys. I’ll be right here waiting when you’re done at the hospital.

Okay.

She sounds so heartbroken I can’t leave it at that. I tell her the only thing I think could possibly make her feel better now. Hey, I meant what I said earlier. I love you. Absolutely. Completely. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I shouldn’t have waited or tried to hide it for so long.

I love you, too, she sobs.

And then she’s gone.

Dana

---

This is a place I never imagined I’d be. Feeling more naked than I ever have in my life, wearing only a paper gown and sheet, my feet in the stirrups, hips scooched down to where I feel like I’ll fall off the exam table, knees spread wide, and a spotlight shining between my legs.

Oooh.

I want to lock myself in a closet and refuse to come out until someone gives me back my clothes.

The nurse practitioner is calm, gentle and matter-of-fact. Her whole attitude says, We’ll get through this. You can trust me to take care of you. I appreciate that and hope that she can calm my mom down.

Amy didn't seem to believe me, either, that I wasn’t raped.

Fine.

I’ve decided all this baring and spreading,