Beyond the Shadow of Grief

By Jessie Glover Wilson

This is a story of people in grief who found healing from bonding and sharing with others who had experienced the loss of a loved one. This healing and life transformation process occurs in our church grief support program and has inspired the facilitators of this program to want to share some of these amazing and somewhat miraculous stories.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jessie Glover Wilson
• Release date: Oct 24, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311012784

Jessie Glover Wilson

The author lives with her husband, Ronald Wilson, in Bixby, Oklahoma. They are enjoying loving on four grandchildren. Her nursing career spanned nearly forty years in nursing education and nursing administration Her passions are her family, her faith, and her profession. She had a strong desire to share what life was like as a nursing student 60 years ago, believing it would be of interest to and an inspiration for the nursing student of today. Her love for the student nurse continues to be strong. She believes they represent the best of the best. Mrs. Wilson continues to be active in caring for hurting people. She Started a Grief Share Group Program ten years ago and is currently compiling stories about healings that she has experienced through this ministry. She and her husband are also Stephen Ministers at their church, helping individuals who are going through crises. She feels she has had a blessed life. Her joy is to hear from former students and instructors that she taught and mentored. she hopes this story will also show her gratitude to those who gave her a start that led to a wonderful career.

Book preview

cover.jpg

Beyond the Shadow of Grief

img1.jpg

by

Jessie Glover Wilson

Beyond the Shadow of Grief

© 2015 by Jessie Glover Wilson

No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part, or stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without permission of the publisher. Exception is made for short excerpts used in reviews.

Author’s Note:

The grief stories and/or events that I have shared in this writing are from my memories of situations or conversations with people. The majority of them gave written permission to have their first name used or indicated that a fictitious name be used. In order to protect privacy and anonymity, I have tried to change some names, places, events, and any other identifying characteristics.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Part One: Study of the Nature of Grief

Shades, Shadows and Sufficiency

Sweat and Seasons

Special Grief Issues

Stages of Grief (5)

Sketch of a Portrait of Depression

Spiritual Issues of Grief

Part Two: Start-up of a New Grief Share Program

Part Three: Survivors’ Success Stories

Part Four: Sufficient Grace Meets Grief

Part Five: Sharing of Grief Journals

Part Six: Successful Partnership with God

Part Seven: Showing a Ministry of Presence

A. The Consoler

B. The Care receiver

C. The Care giver

Part Eight: Source of Inspiration for Those Who Serve

Part Nine: Benediction

Acknowledgements

img1.jpg

Special thanks to those who helped make this book possible.

Our Lord and Savior

South Tulsa Baptist Church

The facilitators of our Grief Share Program:

Mary Jane Howarth, Patsy Akin, Phyllis Turner, Charles Martin, Patty Childers, Brenda Harris, and emeritus Frank Haycraft.

Mary Findley, cover and book design

Sherry Chamblee, editing consultant

Dedication

img1.jpg

I dedicate this book to Ann Bray, who ministered with our program as a participant and then a facilitator from 2003 until her homegoing in December 2014. She loved this ministry and her God-given wit was a special gift to us all.

img2.jpg

Beyond the Shadow of Grief

img3.jpg

Foreword

img3.jpg

This is a story of people in grief who found healing from bonding and sharing with others who had experienced the loss of a loved one. This healing and life transformation process occurs in our church grief support program and has inspired the facilitators of this program to want to share some of these amazing and somewhat miraculous stories.

Our program began in a home back in 2003, as we sensed a need to minister to grief-stricken church members. The Lord led us to a program called Grief Share which is a Christ-focused video presentation by Christian ministers, psychologists, authors, and other laypersons sharing their knowledge of the grief experience. Testimonies come from grieving individuals who thought they would never experience joy again.

The six present facilitators take no glory for any successes, but by working with over 300 grieving individuals, our lives have changed and we have grown into a deeper relationship with the Lord. By making ourselves available to those in pain and giving unconditionally of ourselves to them we have seen results in transformed lives that, at times, literally overwhelm us.

We are grateful for the South Tulsa Baptist Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma for allowing us to have this program and providing us with a beautiful room for these meetings. Although we do not attempt to proselyte non-members, there are those who attend who have no church connection and often choose to become active church members. Many who belong to other faiths are motivated to go back and start such programs in their churches. Our presence is like a silent ministry without fanfare. We want there to be an environment of confidentiality and a safe haven for the participants.

Our goal in writing is fourfold. The first is to meet the needs of those who are totally overwhelmed with grief and lack the knowledge of how to cope with grief. The second goal is for others not facing grief at the moment to be more informed and better prepared to manage grief when it occurs.

The third goal is to share exciting testimonies of those who have gone through this grief journey after learning how to manage grief in healthy ways. And lastly, we wish to emphasize that not only grief support facilitators but also all brothers and sisters in Christ have been commissioned to join Him in a partnership of helping hurting people to be receptive to God’s healing grace. We believe this partnership is to be for all brothers and sisters in Christ.

Although grief is not the most joyous subject, our story is inspiring because you will see God in action in a wonderful ministry. This ministry is committed to following in our Master’s footsteps of meeting the needs of those in pain. Unless you are well-versed in the nature of grief, we promise this will be beneficial and a blessing for you.

In order to not come off too technical or factual about grief, I have interspersed, between the sections of factual information, interesting stories of people who took this journey of grief, journaling by others, inspirational items such as poems and hymns, Grace Gems, and Grief Nuggets. This approach will give one a breather. I know facts can be heavy, but in the case of grief, unless we really grasp the essentials of this grieving process, we will stumble and falter our way through, perhaps prolonging our period of pain and/or being inept in helping others.

img4.png

Part One: Study of the Nature of Grief

img5.jpg

1. Shades, shadows, and sufficiency

Life is precious! To dwell on dying or death while we are living life to its fullest is not a subject we naturally gravitate to until we are faced with the reality of it, usually through the loss of a friend or a family member. And when this time comes, the majority of us are not prepared to deal with it and the force completely knocks the props from under us. I never knew it would be so hard, or I don’t know how I am going to get through this event are common laments. It does help, however, to have some knowledge of what one is dealing with and what one must to do to come out on the other side and face living again.

After the shock of the death of a loved one has lessened, the funeral is over, and others have returned to a normal life, the bereaved find themselves alone and, suddenly life as they have known it no longer exists. Life takes on a color that is bleak and they find themselves in a dark grayish to black deep hole. The following are cries are heard:

This pain is more than I can bear.

My heart has been pulled out.

I hurt but am numb as well.

Dear God, why couldn’t it have been me?

I am angry. God, I want to scream.

I am scared. I feel like I am losing my mind,

and

I want to die too.

Are these abnormal feelings and thoughts? you might ask. Absolutely not! These are typical outcries of a grieving person. The griever finds himself on a journey he never chose, one similar to the Psalmist’s description of going through the valley of the shadow of death, only the survivor’s plight is the shadow of grief. It is true; this is a black or grayish time for the griever, who walks through this shadow and light is obscured as if a veil were hanging over the eyes. The term valley, according to Matthew Henry, dredges up a fear that one may become lost, be confused, stumble in the dark and may even fall. We know that this valley, to some, is unchartered territory and anything but smooth. This journey will have physical, mental and spiritual obstacles to overcome, times of going forward and then going backwards or just standing still.

The traveler would have less difficulty, if it were possible to have the hinds’ feet of deer. Actually it is possible, as we read in Psalm 18:13, He makes my feet like hinds’ feet, and sets me upon high places. These feet enable us to overcome our obstacles,