Grieving Is a Must: A Christian Approach to Coping with the Loss of a Loved One

By Rose Flemming-Nyako, PhD

No matter what your age, background, or culture, the loss of a loved one is something that you feel deeply.

When someone dies, you might get depressed, suicidal, or start taking your grief out on others in dangerous or troublesome ways. Its possible, however, to cope with the loss of a loved one in a Christian and wholesome manner.

Rose Flemming-Nyako, Ph.D., who has worked in the mental-health field for more than thirty-five years, shares insights on navigating loss in this book. As someone who lost her mother, she knows how easy it is to become withdrawn, depressed, and afraid.

But she broke free of the darkness, and you can, too. Get the answers to questions such as:

Is there a right time to grieve?

How does loss affect us physically and spiritually?

What are the stages of grief?

Does the Bible tell us anything about grieving?

Can counseling and grief support help?

Throughout, she weaves in her personal experience with grief and how prayer, meditation, and reading comforting words from God refreshed her spirit.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Sep 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781532004353

Rose Flemming-Nyako, PhD

Rose Flemming-Nyako, Ph.D., has worked in the mental-health field for more than thirty-five years. She earned a doctorate in Christian counseling from Newburgh Theological Seminary in Newburgh, Indiana, a Master of Arts in guidance counseling from Roosevelt University in Chicago, and a Bachelor of Science in psychiatric nursing from Rush University School of Nursing in Chicago. She lives in Illinois.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 Rose Flemming-Nyako, Ph.D.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

All Scripture quotations unless otherwise noted, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version®. Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc ™. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

iUniverse

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.iuniverse.com

1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0434-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0435-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016912708

iUniverse rev. date: 09/22/2016

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Experience of Separation by Death

The Process of Grieving

My Personal Experience of Grieving

Chapter 2 When is the Right Time to Grieve?

Different Responses Different Times

Chapter 3 The Stages of Grief

Anticipatory Grief

Complicated Grief

Chapter 4 The Pain of Grief

Dealing with Grief and Loss during Holidays

Approaching Traditions

Chapter 5 What The Bible Says About Grieving

Expression of Grief

Males and Grief in the Old Testament

Account of David’s grief recorded

Males and Grief in the New Testament

Grieving Women in the Bible

Naomi and Ruth’s Grief (Old Testament)

The women near the cross who grieved, includingJesus Mother (New Testament)

Chapter 6 Counseling and Grief Support

Exercise, Rest, Meditation and Healthy Eating Can Help the Grieving Process

Rest and Meditation

Healthy Eating

The Power of Human Connections

Support Network

Grief Support Groups

Available Resources

Other Information Sources

Conclusion

End Notes

Bibliography

A Special Dedication to a Special Person,

In Loving Memory of My Friend.

Fannette Roberta Fisher

Thank You for leaving me the fingerprints of grace on my life. For your kindness and devotion and for your endless support when I needed a safe haven for my son Kofi. You opened your doors and cared for him. Your selflessness will always be remembered.

Dedication

To my mother, Sarah Louise Flemming, who provided me with so much love. My Mommy was my rock, my pillar of strength, my nurturer, my rescuer, and my protector.

Her strength and courage in the fight against cancer (Leukemia) inspired me to pursue my education and follow my dreams to keep writing so that I could give her this book as my gift of our eternal love.

When we all get to heaven where you are, what a day of rejoicing that will be.

IN LOVING MEMORY

George Flemming (Daddy)

Evangelist Esther Richardson (Grandmother)

Robert Donaldson (Uncle)

George Flemming, Jr. (Brother)

Mark Flemming (Brother)

Michael Flemming (Brother)

Andrew and Mary Smith (Children’s Godparents)

Dr. Richard Appia Nyako, M.D.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

A book may have a single author or several authors, but many valued people make its foundation possible. I have been blessed with countless glorious friends, family members, colleagues, and spiritual advisors. I would like to express my very great appreciation. First, I would like to thank my family —my sons: Dwayne Flemming and Twumasi Kofi Appia Nyako, for their encouragement and support in this long process of writing this book. My brother, Gregory Flemming, for his special help, and my sisters, Cheryl Flemming-Jackson-Wilson and Deidra Flemming-McGill, for their inspiration and perseverance with me. Dr. Richard Appia Nyako, ex-husband (deceased), who purchased the computer, which enabled me to write this book. Second, Newburgh Theological Seminary Academic and Supportive staff for their on-going prayers, and guidance of my pursuit of my Doctoral Degree in Christian Counseling. Dr. Les Liebengood for taking on the task of being my Mentor/Advisor during this writing project and clarifying conceptual issues. Dr. Barbara Norman for her guidance with finding important references and research.

I am particularly grateful to Sister Linda Ross, for her proofreading and countless ways in the book production. April Payne, a friend. Elder Charity McCottrell, Henley, and Tilleth Walters who provided spiritual nurturing. Foluke Joyce Omosule, a colleague, for her useful and constructive recommendations on this project. Evangelist Ruby Johnson, a