Trusting In Love

By Debbie Allen

After being in abusive relationship can Dana trust Cal enough to love and marry him?

Will she always be alone or will she finally give her heart completely to the one man who holds her heart and future in is hands?

Come along with Dana and Cal as they heal the past and head towards a loving and love filled future together forever.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: Debbie Allen
• Release date: Jun 14, 2015
• ISBN: 9781513026237

Debbie Allen

Debbie Allen, the Expert of Experts, has been a business and marketing strategist for the past twenty years. She is a bestselling author and award-winning entrepreneur. Her expertise has been featured in numerous motivational movies, including The Opus and The Compass, and regularly featured in Entrepreneur magazine. Debbie has built and sold numerous million-dollar companies. She mentors clients from around the world on how to become highly paid experts. Debbie is based in Phoenix, Arizona. To learn more about her expertise, go to www.debbieallen.com.

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No part of this story may be reproduced without the express permission of the author.

All rights and license to use the cover photo for this novel and any promotional needs for selling this novel are property of the author.

Copyright Debbie Allen 2015

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to domestic abuse survivors everywhere including myself. Physical/verbal/mental is doesn’t matter, its abuse. I’ve been there with you. Though it does still haunt me at times it HAS gotten better. If you’re reading this and still in that relationship, please get out, get help.

This is my first book. It’s basically a story of what I went through at one point in my life. Names have been changed to protect the guilty, though I doubt he’s still among us as he WAS 20 years older than me, making him near 77 at the time of this writing. However, he did have children, the mother of one he beat so badly that the baby she was carrying had birthmarks from it. I didn’t know this till just before I fled for my life. The dates are also changed to present day and time shortened between when it happened and when I found my own love.

So, I guess that makes this part real life, part fiction.

Again, if you’re in this kind of relationship you need to get out of it, there are people and organizations out there to help you.

THANK YOU’S

Kevin Selby for being the cover model and helping me choose the photo.

Joem C. Bayawa from Joem C. Bayawa Photography for taking this great picture.

Molly McClain for the inspiration to get me going by letting me join your author and the Misfits groups. We’re having a blast, let’s keep posting hunks and having girls’ night out.

Ramona Kersch Kekstadt and Penny Leidecker for proof reading and being there to cheer me on.

Contents

DEDICATION

THANK YOU’S

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

CHAPER TWENTY SIX

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

CHAPTER THIRTY

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

CHAPTER FOURTY

CHAPTER FOURTY ONE

CHAPTER FOURTY TWO

CHAPTER FOURTY THREE

CHAPTER FOURTY FOUR

EPILOGUE

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CHAPTER ONE

Jerking awake, I nearly screamed as something touched my face. I raised my arms to protect myself just as I realized it was a fluffy tail. My cat... It’s only my cat, it wasn’t the disembodied hand of my ex reaching out to caress me into believing he wouldn’t hit me again.

I laid there trying not to hyperventilate and to get my heart under control while it tried to thunder out of my chest. Damn that man for what he’d done to me, and still continued to do to me 10 years after I escaped him. It was because of him I couldn’t have a decent loving relationship with a man. I barely had any friends because I was still so frightened by hands moving quickly towards me, or raised voices, angry voices. Vile words spewed at me, day after day.

I shook my head to make myself stop thinking about it. I had done so well for 9 years, but suddenly the nightmares started up about a year ago. Just a few at first, but as the 10th anniversary of my escape (essentially that’s what it was) came closer, the dreams and nightmares became more frequent.

I rolled over and sat on the side of the bed while Silver rubbed and purred against me. He had escaped with me, and whatever I could stuff into my jacket pockets. Everything else I’d moved into the house from my childhood I had to leave behind. As it was the bastard had killed a kitten and most likely the 3 dogs he said ran away together.

STOP IT.. I sternly told myself.

I got up and showered, fed the cats, and decided to take walk to the market down the street from my condo. I needed a few things, but not enough that I couldn’t carry it back.

Browsing through the fruits and vegetables I made my selections. The green peppers looked good, so I got the things I needed to make a batch of stuffed green peppers, planning on freezing some for future dinners. Paying for my purchases I started the walk home.

Without realizing what was happening, I got bumped and shoved from behind. I nearly dropped my marketing, but managed to keep a hold on that. However, I noticed my purse was missing, and I spun around to find myself staring into the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen. The fact that there was someone struggling in between us was completely lost on me until I heard him squeak. Yes, he made this mouse like squeak.

The owner of the blue eyes was holding the purse snatcher’s hand up behind his back between his shoulder blades with very little effort. He pulled my purse loose, and handed it back to me without losing eye contact with me. A policeman came up to us and asked if he could help, and Mr. Blue Eyes just handed the thief to him and in a deep voice with a slight Irish accent, told the policeman that he’d witnessed him stealing my purse and caught him.

Very good Mr. O’Rourke, I’ll just get this one to the station and book him. said the policeman. Please come down and fill out the paperwork before the end of the day.

Mr. Blue Eyes just nodded, never taking those eyes off mine the whole time. Then he did the worst thing he could have done, he reached for me empty handed. I jerked my whole body back a good five feet before I stopped. Those beautiful eyes widened in surprise, and he seemed to sense that something wasn’t right. He lowered his hand and stepped towards me. I watched him warily, wanting to run, wishing I didn’t. Damn my ex to the fires of hell he was burning in now, at least I hoped he was, since he was 20 years older than me and a drunk.

It’s ok colleen, I won’t be hurting you. That Irish lilt came through on some words, others it didn’t, but that deep voice vibrated through me even from three feet away. I could feel it through the air into my lungs. His voice nearly mesmerized me. He slowly reached forward for my hand while keeping our eyes locked together.

I jumped a bit when I felt him pull on my shopping bag, but I released it for him to carry. He turned me the way I’d been heading with a hand at the small of my back and then put out his elbow for me to make the choice to touch him. I looked at it, hesitated, and then slipped my hand through it. He smiled at me and I felt like I’d been hit by a beam of sunlight. It brightened up his whole face, and crinkled the skin at the corners of his eyes.

I’m Callum O’Rourke, but I’d like you to call me Cal. That voice, that lilt, those blue eyes, and that mahogany hair all made it clear that this man had either been born and spent his youth in Ireland, or his parents influenced his talk. I think I fell in love with Cal right then.

CHAPTER TWO

I’m Dana Mitchum. I said a bit breathlessly. I was actually walking and talking with a drop dead gorgeous man. I was TOUCHING him willingly. ME, the one who didn’t think herself worthy of having men look at her anymore, thinking they saw what I’d been through even though the external bruises and scars had disappeared or faded years ago. Internally, they never really left, just erupted, like they have been lately. ME, the one who thought herself too ugly and fat to have someone that looked like Cal even WANT to talk to me.

Hi Dana, I’m glad I was there when you needed me. Now, where might we be heading? There was that accent again. I felt the tingle start in my spine. I’d always love Ireland and the accents of its people. I thought maybe one day I’d get the courage to get on a plane and go, but I knew I never would, I was terrified of heights. But I could enjoy my own little corner right here with Cal.

I pointed ahead. My condo is right over there around that corner. Suddenly I wondered what I’d do with him when we got there. I knew I couldn’t invite him up. Not yet.

I was saved that quandary when we got to the front door and he stopped and handed me my shopping bag. He took my hand and stroked it gently, looking into my eyes. Then to my shock, he leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, his beard felt so soft against my cheek. Putting his hand in his pocket at the same time as he pulled away from me, he handed me his business card.  

My cell number is on there. When you’re ready too, call me, we’ll go out to dinner, a movie, whatever you want.

With those words he walked away, leaving the decision to me. Of course he knew the building I lived in, but not the specific condo. I watched that jean clad rear walk away from me, and as if he knew I was watching, he put a little swing into it. I hear his deep laughter ringing off the buildings around me as he waved over his shoulder.

I watched till he turned the corner, looked back at me and waved again. Then the doorman, Caleb, opened the door for me, smiling at me, which he’d never done before. I realized why as I waited for the elevator to take me to my floor. In the mirror like reflection of the doors, I saw that my eyes were shining, and I was actually smiling. Something I really hadn’t done in years.

CHAPTER THREE

Silver and Ghost met me at the door of my condo. I picked Silver up and twirled around the front room with him as he licked my chin and purred. Ghost just sat staring at us, then huffed and jumped onto the couch and curled up. I put Silver down next to him, kissed them both on their heads and went into the kitchen to start the peppers.

I kept looking at the card on the counter where I’d put it to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I’d reached for my cell several times while making the peppers. After I slipped them into the oven, I decided to call before I chickened out.

Hello Dana. Chills went through me as I pictured those eyes as his voice almost caressed my skin over the phone.

Um, Cal, I’m making green peppers and baked potatoes for dinner, and I was wondering if..... My voice trailed off as I lost my nerve.

I’d love to Dana. What is your condo number? And what time? Oh, do you want me to bring some wine? My phone nearly shook out of my hand from his voice, or maybe I was the one shaking, I couldn’t tell by now.

Condo 4C, 4th floor, about an hour. I’ll let the doorman know you’re coming, and wine would be nice, but you don’t have to.

I’ll see you in an hour mo gra. I think his voice went deeper. I shivered. Oh boy, I was in deep trouble here, but those eyes, that voice, that red hair.

I ran to take a shower and straighten up the condo. I stopped long enough to look up mo gra on the internet; it was Gaelic for my love. I shivered again at the implication. I let the doorman know I was expecting a guest and as I was letting go of the button I heard It’s about damn time. I laughed with pleasure.

My intercom rang about 10 minutes later letting me know someone was coming up. I started to shake with nerves, started second guessing myself. Then Silver meowed. Oh shit... I grabbed both cats and put them in the spare bedroom and closed the door. Everything they needed was in there anyway so they’d be ok it was essentially their room when I wasn’t home.

The ringing of my doorbell was so loud I nearly jumped out of my skin. I put my hand out to turn the knob, and it was shaking so hard I nearly couldn’t get hold of it. I finally got the door open and my jaw hit the floor.

OH. MY. GOD. I thought. Cal stood there in a dark suit, dark tie, and blindingly white shirt. It made his eyes stand out even more, and his red hair darker, nearly brown. He wasn’t smiling, but the intensity of his gaze nearly made me melt into a puddle on the floor. It was sex personified. He still hadn’t shaved, and I swear his beard had grown at least an inch in those couple hours since he kissed my cheek.

We just stared at each other for a few seconds. He slowly reached forward and with his finger under my chin, closed my mouth, which was still hanging open. Then he gave that slow sexy smile I was coming to love.

The peppers smell heavenly mo gra. I jerked with a muttered Oh shit and I ran to the kitchen and grabbed them out of the oven and moved the potatoes around, checking them.

Cal came in and closed the door. Putting the wine on the counter, he asked if he could help. I motioned to the table that hadn’t been set yet, and he went about that with efficiency. I dug through the drawers for a cork screw, found it, turned around and dropped it from my numb fingers.

He’d taken his suit coat and tie off and rolled up his shirt sleeves. The red hair on his arms drew my gaze. Red haired men always fascinated me. He was unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt when he turned and caught me nearly drooling all over the floor.

He gave me a cocky grin and came over and picked up the cork screw and rinsed it off and opened the wine. Let’s let this breathe while we’re waiting.

I just nodded. I couldn’t talk; my voice had abandoned me someplace along the way. Then I jumped when I heard a thump down the hall. Cal spun around ready to do battle it seemed. I put my hand on his arm, It’s just the cats jumping around.

Cats, mo gra? Why do you have them locked up? he asked.

I didn’t know if you liked cats, plus once in a while they try to escape if the door is open too long. He chuckled, knowing they’d probably have gotten out of the building before either of us knew it when he’d arrived.

I like cats well enough. But let’s leave them in there tonight. I totally agreed with him on that. He went over to my stereo and put on some quiet music, poured our wine and leaned on the counter while I got the potatoes out of the oven.

Then he helped me carry everything to the table, and insisted I sit while he served. Once he sat down and we dug into the food, Cal closed his eyes and moaned with the first bite. There went that shiver up my spine again. I couldn’t help but wonder what he sounded like when he..... NO, don’t go there. It probably won’t happen.

He split his potato open and put butter on it and forked some into his mouth. Aren’t you eating mo gra? Why did he keep calling me my love? Not that I was arguing right now.

I dug into my dinner without my usual gusto, but wanted to make him think I was hungry. After a few more glasses of wine, our plates were cleaned of food and we sat back for a few minutes to enjoy our drinks. Then Cal got up, started stacking the plates and taking them to the kitchen. I heard the dishwasher door open, water running, and got up to find him rinsing things off and stacking them into the dishwasher. I started to help, but he hip bumped me out of the way and finished. He started the washer after a few false starts at finding the right settings and turned to where I was leaning against the counter.

He came around, took my glass out of my hand, and took me into his arms and started dancing me across the floor humming to the slow song on the stereo. I relaxed against him and put my head on his shoulder. I felt safe in his arms with his head against the top of mine.

The music changed and I pulled back and looked up at him. His eyes darkened, he tightened his arms around me, pulling me closer. I pushed against his chest and he let me go. I picked up my wine and took a gulp. Turning, I saw he hadn’t moved from where I’d left him.

It’s a long story, and I’m too tired to explain tonight Cal. I do have to explain it at some point. But I just can’t do it now.

He walked past me, got his coat and tie, finished his wine and came to stand in front of me. He ran his hand up and down my arm, cupped my cheek in his palm, which I promptly nuzzled against and leaned down and kissed my cheek.

When you’re ready mo gra, when you’re ready. In the meantime, we can get to know each other as far as you’re willing. He tipped my head and lightly kissed my lips, turned and went to the door, as he opened it, he turned back and just gazed at me, then closed the door behind him quietly.

CHAPTER FOUR

I shot up in the bed so quickly I nearly threw my back out, covered in sweat. The cats were looking at me like, again?!?!?!?!

I eased off the bed, Fuck, why? Why won’t this stop? I stormed into the bathroom, stripping as I went and got under the spray. I wished my living nightmare would go down the drain with the water but I knew it wouldn’t.

I dried off, wrapped in a towel and went stumbling for