28 If

By Christopher Volkay

It isn't possible that a serial killer is the one that has been killing all of those rock stars at the age of 27 (the 27 club-Hendrix, Morrison, Jones, Joplin, Cobain, Winehouse, et al) over the last 5 decades. It's just not possible is it?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christopher Volkay
• Release date: May 26, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311877192

Christopher Volkay

Life? Was it what you expected? I'm not praising it, I'm not crying about it, Only saying it was absolutely nothing like what I thought it would be. People? Wow. I remember when I was young I suppose I loved everybody and everything, it was peace love and grooviness MAN! How's this for a quote-by the time we're sixty everybody finally has the face they deserve. Well almost.. Sad to say I probably live by one of George Carlin's brilliant sayings. I've used the following quote my whole life from Carlin and it really, actually does help. The quote, "We're all f**ked, it helps to remember that." And it really does somehow. You might change the f**ked to maybe crumbs, a bit more palatable. Also, there seem, to be at least two types of outrageous pricks. 1. People like Billy Carter (Jimmy's brother) or maybe the banjo player over the river in Deliverance. Pricks but they don't know it. 2. Then there is a second kind, Pricks, fully aware of it, but won't stop because being a shameless prick is just so god damn much fun. It's great "pricking" or piercing their delusional pretensions. Hmm? I wonder which kind I am? I gets pretty good coverage over on Free Republic-one of the biggest conservative sites in the world with 100,000 hits per day and about 20 million views per month. Also, look for me there or over on Goodreads, Facebook, Smashwords and other suspects

Book preview

28 If  (A Screenplay)

by Chris Volkay

Published by Chris Volkay at Smashwords

Copyright 2015 Chris Volkay

28 If Logline/Synopsis

It isn’t possible that 5 of the world’s top rock stars (Brian Jones, Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison and Cobain), who all just happened to die at the age of 27, and obviously would have been 28 IF they had lived, were all actually killed by the same man, a diabolical serial killer. And the fact that the Beatles Abbey Road album cover has a license plate that famously says 28 IF on it was all just a big coincidence. These things couldn’t all be connected somehow. It’s just not possible, is it?

FADE IN:

The Words: APRIL 5,1994-appear ON SCREEN.

EXT. SHOT OF POSH, UPSCALE HOME-NIGHT

A TV cameraman looks up at the home with a forlorn look.

CAMERAMAN

Well, here we go.

His camera begins filming an ambulance as it crawls its way down a long winding driveway and then out into the night. It’s siren begins its plaintive wail.

On the sidewalks hundreds of young people are seen crying and consoling each other. They appear to be in shock.

The camera PANS to COLLEEN LANGE. Colleen is beautiful, late 30’s and very aggressive. She is a TV reporter reporting from the front lawn of the home.

COLLEEN

The entertainment and music world is

in a whirl tonight. One of it’s brightest,

most talented stars, Kurt Cobain, lead

singer of the punk rock band Nirvana,

has been found dead today at the age

of 27. Details are sketchy. The entire

city of Seattle, if you will, is in

shock at the death of one of its own.

INT. COLLEEN’S OFFICE-DAY

Colleen is hurrying through a stack of mail when she comes upon a letter addressed to her with no return address. We see her name, station, address, city state zip code. Instead of finding a return address we simply see the following: 2 20 95 KC 28 IF where the return address should be.

Upon opening the letter she finds it empty. She studies it for a while, looking puzzled. One of her fellow reporters, TODD, the weatherman, saunters by and sees what she’s holding.

TODD

Whas dat.. lotto numbers?

COLLEEN

I don’t know what it is. Just got it

in the mail. Can’t be lotto, there’s

letters in here too.

Todd moving in and looking at it closer now.

TODD

Yeah right.

COLLEEN

Well the KC might mean Cobain, he died

what, 9-10 months ago? Yeah. And let’s

see he was, yeah, 27 when he died so 

he would be 28 IF HE were still alive,

yeah. Now what’s the first part, here.

Todd continues to look on but doesn’t offer much in the way of deciphering skills.

COLLEEN

Okay so the 2-20-95 looks like some

kinda date right? Maybe, no he died

in April but, lemme see.

Colleen quickly picks a large black book from a small bookcase in back of her desk. She begins flipping through

the pages until she stops.

COLLEEN

Yeah that’s it, here.

(pointing)

He was born on February 20th, so yeah,

look at it, on 2-20 of this year, 95,

Kurt Cobain would have been 28 if he

had lived, get it.

TODD

Get what? He’s dead isn’t he? What’s

it mean?

COLLEEN

Who knows? Probably just a fan that

wanted commemorate his death.

She looks down at the note with a quizzical look on her face.

COLLEEN         

Yeah probably just a fan.

Colleen takes the note and shoves it in her drawer.

INT. PINK HO’S PENTHOUSE-NIGHT

The words: PRESENT DAY-now appear ON SCREEN.

PINK HO is the newest rock sensation. She has the pretty hard looks of a porn star, 20-ish and sports short cropped blonde hair. We see her clanking champagne glasses with a crowd of trendy, freaky well-wishers, half of which are wearing masks. They are in her penthouse suite. It is her birthday party, she will be 28 tomorrow.

The penthouse overflows with trendy art, sculptures of people in different sex acts and a solid pink rug.

She then, with her manager, SWEET LOU, a 50-ish piggish man, begin moving away from the crowd and close the door on the living room and step into the dimly lit bedroom.

SWEET LOU

Here’s to you, you fuckin’ bitch.

PINK HO

Whooa, baby.

They both, arm in arm, make their way out to the Penthouse’s balcony which is in the heart of Hollywood. Both are holding large, full champagne glasses.

Camera PANS up and we see the illuminated Hollywood Sign. Camera then PULLS BACK and we see Pink and Lou, both from behind, looking over at the Hollywood Sign in SILHOUETTE.

PINK HO        

Can you imagine jumpin’ from that

thing?

SWEET LOU

Don’t think ‘bout that shit. This is

your night in the sun. Look at ‘em all

down there. 3 million of them fucks

put us up here. Drink that bad boy up,

it’ll ail what cures ya.

(yelling down at

the city lights)

What can we do to repay youse huh?

Here

(as he reaches for his crotch)

I let ‘em smoke my bone.

Pink Ho laughs at Lou’s antics.

SWEET LOU

And we ain’t renegotiatin’ nothin’.

Baby you knew what you was doin’

when ya did it. I told ya.

PINK HO

Give me a minute will ya Lou?

Lou grasps her meaning, smiles and then slowly exits the room and closes the door behind him.

Camera PANS city below and them ZOOMS in on Pink’s face. She looks over at the Hollywood Sign and then back out into the night.

Suddenly the POV is from the back of the bedroom as an UNKNOWN KILLER slowly makes his way toward Pink. He is now right behind her. We see his hand slowly creeping up and caressing the diamond necklace that is draped across the back of her neck. Then before she is aware of what’s happening, a mini crow-bar is inserted under the necklace. Then quickly the crow-bar is twisted forming a garroting action with the necklace.

We see a CLOSEUP of the spectacular glistening diamond necklace on Pink’s neck, (front view)and then we see it slowly begin sinking into her neck,(due to the twisting action) deeper and deeper until the blood starts rolling down Pink’s neck, she is slowly being strangled. We see Pink’s twisted agony-riddled face slowly losing the spark of life.

We see a WIDE SHOT of the penthouse building with the Hollywood Sign in the background.

Then in SLOW MOTION we see her lifeless body wafting down in the silhouette of the Sign.

We are back with the Killer’s POV as he leans out over the balcony railing and sees her smithereen smashed body on the pavement below. He whispers...

UNKNOWN KILLER

Twenty eight if.....

We then see a newspaper headline-PINK HO MURDERED AT BIRTHDAY PARTY.

EXT. CHRIS PROFAIN’S UNMARKED SQUAD CAR-DAY

Two LAPD detectives are driving down the street.

DETECTIVE CHRISTOPHER PROFAIN is mid thirties, handsome, hair a little longer than it should be, and sports a conservative looking shirt and tie.

His partner is Det. RILEY RUSH, about 25, one of the youngest detectives in the department. He is nice looking, short cropped military style hair, and wears an open neck polo shirt.

Rush keeps wiping at his nose with his hand, and then wiping it on his pants legs, which seems to irk Detective Profain.

PROFAIN

You’re a detective now, met the

mayor

(rolls eyes)

and everything. Been in the