The Long Lost Trial of Socrates

By Christopher Volkay

The infamous trial of Socrates has always been shrouded in mystery. Just what did happen? Fortunately I have uncovered all of the answers and now for the first time, all will be revealed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christopher Volkay
• Release date: May 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310955549

Christopher Volkay

Life? Was it what you expected? I'm not praising it, I'm not crying about it, Only saying it was absolutely nothing like what I thought it would be. People? Wow. I remember when I was young I suppose I loved everybody and everything, it was peace love and grooviness MAN! How's this for a quote-by the time we're sixty everybody finally has the face they deserve. Well almost.. Sad to say I probably live by one of George Carlin's brilliant sayings. I've used the following quote my whole life from Carlin and it really, actually does help. The quote, "We're all f**ked, it helps to remember that." And it really does somehow. You might change the f**ked to maybe crumbs, a bit more palatable. Also, there seem, to be at least two types of outrageous pricks. 1. People like Billy Carter (Jimmy's brother) or maybe the banjo player over the river in Deliverance. Pricks but they don't know it. 2. Then there is a second kind, Pricks, fully aware of it, but won't stop because being a shameless prick is just so god damn much fun. It's great "pricking" or piercing their delusional pretensions. Hmm? I wonder which kind I am? I gets pretty good coverage over on Free Republic-one of the biggest conservative sites in the world with 100,000 hits per day and about 20 million views per month. Also, look for me there or over on Goodreads, Facebook, Smashwords and other suspects

Book preview

THE LONG LOST TRIAL OF SOCRATES (A Screenplay)

by Chris Volkay

Published by Chris Volkay at Smashwords

Copyright 2015 Chris Volkay

FADE IN:

SUPERIMPOSE;

SCREEN 1:

"IN 399 B.C., SOCRATES VERY FAMOUSLY DRANK HEMLOCK, KILLING

HIMSELF AT THE BEHEST OF HIS BELOVED CITY, ATHENS. THE

DETAILS OF THIS EVENT, INCLUDING HIS TRIAL, HAVE ALWAYS BEEN

SHROUDED IN INTRIGUE AND MYSTERY, UNTIL NOW."

SCREEN 2:

"WHY DOES IT MATTER? SOCRATES IS CONSIDERED THE WEST'S MOST

IMPORTANT PHILOSOPHER AND THE VERY FATHER OF WESTERN

CIVILIZATION ITSELF.

YES... HE'S THE ONE TO BLAME FOR IT ALL."

EXT. STREETS OF ATHENS-DAY

As sweat flies off his mop-like head, a toga-clad, sandaled

SENTRY sprints through the streets. After about a half-dozen

blocks he darts into an ostentatious looking government

building.

INT. CHAMBERS OF JUDGE ORESTHANES-DAY

Our dripping sentry bursts into a courtroom. JUDGE

ORESTHANES, mid-50's and distinguished, immediately springs

to his feet.

SENTRY

Your honor! That son of a stinky

pig is at it again!

JUDGE ORESTHANES

Socrates? Oh for the love of Zeus.

Can't he just go to the crows

already. Where is he this time?

SENTRY

Right where he always plops his big

can, the agora, Pericles Mall.

JUDGE ORESTHANES

Alright, alright. Go back and

monitor what he's saying, but don't

do anything yet. That old goatface'll

be sniveling about his FREE

SPEECH and we can't have that kind

of crap again. I'll be down in a

few minutes.

2.

The sentry withdraws from the courtroom.

EXT. THE AGORA AT PERICLES MALL-DAY

SOCRATES, 70, toga-clad, disheveled, scrabbly and a little

plump, is frenetically pacing on a slightly elevated wooden

stage in the middle of the agora (square). His shoulder

length thinning gray hair and bristly white beard are waving

in a gentle breeze.

He is surrounded by perhaps 500 people who are riveted by his

strange words. Nearby shop owners and merchants are all

standing nearby, cursing him from their shop's stone

doorways.

Standing behind Socrates, on stage, a couple of YOUNGER MEN,

that could be students. As we move closer, we begin to hear

the grating voice of the great thinker.

SOCRATES

Okay, simple-minded sons of sheep,

I'll go you one better. I ask ya,

have you ever had one thought, one

original idea in your whole

flippin' life? Don't answer just

think.

There is a palpable rumbling of wintry discontent swirling

through the assaulted crowd.

SOCRATES

Come on, how about it? Just one

tiny tot of an idea. A baby. A wee,

wee baby, a little guppy of an

idea?

(pinching his fingers

together)

He continues to wait but nobody utters a syllable.

SOCRATES (CONT’D)

Hasn't every idea, every notion,

every thought come from your mommy

and poppy, your holy men, your

politicians, the academies,

friends, family? They all wait for

you outside your cribs like a

circle of stomach-growling

vultures.

As soon as you begin walking they

start sowing those seeds in your

soft little heads.

3.

SOCRATES (CONT’D)

Your heads are then picked from the

harvester's fields like an ear of

corn.

(pointing toward crowd)

So who? Who?

MAN FROM THE BACK OF CROWD

Oh fuck you old man. Why don't you

go gum some nuts! Besides sheep

don't bray, they go baa.

SOCRATES

Oh well then for that I do

apologize. Okay then, let's hear

you go baa!

ANOTHER MAN IN THE CROWD

Couldn't you just leave us in

peace?

SOCRATES

Baa baa! Holy precious goat-crap! A

new outlying province is heard

from. But that doesn't answer my

question does it, boys? Waiting,

waiting who? One original idea

ever...

Stepping forward is a young-looking man, carrying some

scrolls under his arm. He is perhaps a student. He is

RIPANESE.

RIPANESE

Okay, let's play your game. Let's

say you're right. Our heads are

filled with the pale dust from the

miller's wheel, what does it

matter? We're getting along okay

aren't we? We're not living out in

the fields with the sheep! We make

progress!

SOCRATES

That, my spectacularly absorbent

sponge is the point. We used to

abide out with the goat. Now we've

left that behind, yes? But we still

toil and grunt like the oxen! We

pull our plows through the streets

now. Our HEADS haven't changed. Baa

baa.

Another young man, MEDIOCRAS, now steps forward also holding

scrolls under his arms.

4.

MEDIOCRAS

Yes but many of the ideas we have

adopted have been proven valuable

over time, it this not true?

SOCRATES

Yes, they are very valuable, if you

are a squirrel. My friendly friend,

there is a whole other world that

exists out there, but you will

never see it, if you spend all your

time being a dutiful squirrel-face.

RIPANESE

Sir please. We have both received

the finest teaching that Athens has

on offer. We have both graduated

from Academy with many honors.

SOCRATES

Yes, you are the painstakingly

educated and glowing numb-nuts from

the Academy. I would shake your

hands but I just took a big crap.

MEDIOCRAS

Yeah, why don't you find some nuts

to gum!

SOCRATES

Not the worst idea