A new story chased by our best friends at the Weekly Bugle. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Leona  - Robyn Keyes Theo "Smoothie" Walsh - Henry Mark Chief - Julie Hoverson Forsythe Dickman III - Mark Olson Farmer Hadley - Garr Godfrey Daisy - Cailean Evedus Bartender - Charles Austin Miller Desk Clerk - Brown Monkey’s Old dude Second Demon - Sherman bear Reporters - Bryan, Wes, and Uncle Randy of Drunken Zombie, plus Brown Monkey Music by  John Woodward Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Les Clay   "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a familiar newsroom, can't you tell?" ******************************************************************** A Telegram ...to Satan! Cast: Leona Theo "Smoothie" Walsh Chief Forsythe Dickman III Reporters Farmer Hadley Daisy LuLu Reporters OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a tabloid bullpen, can't you tell?  MUSIC Scene 1.    SOUND     PEOPLE ON PHONES, moving through the room REPORTER JUNE    How many mummies? [dubious] Uh... we can't send a photographer for less than eight. REPORTER BOB    So can we quote you on the health benefits of nude white water rafting? REPORTER KATHY    We just want to give you a chance to tell your side of the story, doctor... REPORTER FRED    And when the wax was ripped away, it left an image of jesus in your chest hair? Scene 2.    CHIEF    Shut the door. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS THEO    Where's Leona? CHIEF    She'll be here in a minute.  Wanted to say something to you first… just the two of us. THEO     [a little worried] Yeah? CHIEF    You're a cute young guy, Theo... THEO    [starting to panic] Uh... CHIEF    You seeing anyone right now? THEO    I'm kind of ...married to the news. CHIEF    I know the feeling. THEO    Uh...! CHIEF    It's a nice sentiment, but you can’t let the news rule your life, sweetheart. THEO    Uh.  When is Leona gonna get here? CHIEF    What are you doing on Friday night? THEO    Uh... Uh... I ... CHIEF    Cause my niece really really needs someone to take her to her senior prom, and I figure if you're married to the news, you're about as safe as they get. THEO    [relieved] Oh!  ah!  I can clear Friday night. CHIEF    It's either you or Forsythe Dickman the third, and I really don't want that greasy bastard within a city block of my poor little Aida. THEO    Who? CHIEF    But you didn't hear that from me. SOUND    DOOR OPENS THEO    Dickman? DICKMAN    Yeah. THEO    [gasp]  Oh!  I thought it would be Leona. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS CHIEF    Smoothie Walsh, meet Forsythe Dickman the third.  His grandpa just picked up half the business. DICKMAN    Things are gonna run a little different around here. THEO    Oh.  Is that good? CHIEF    [insincere] Sure it is.  We're just tickled to death to have some new blood in at the managerial level. SOUND    DOOR OPENS LEONA    Oh. SOND    DOOR SHUTS AGAIN THEO    Leona--?  She left. CHIEF    Musta forgot something. DICKMAN    Is that Leona Pope?  [chuckle nastily]  I think she remembered something. THEO    Should I ...go? CHIEF    No, I was about to drop a lead on you.  DICKMAN    I hope you have something good. CHIEF    Oh, are you staying? DICKMAN    Gramps wants me to learn the tabloid business from the very bottom.  So yeah, I'm staying. MUSIC Scene 3.    AMB    ROOF SOUND    LIGHTER, SMOKING THEO    [off] Leona? LEONA    Are you alone? THEO    Uh, yeah. LEONA    Come on up, then. THEO    That's a little far out on the ledge, isn't it? LEONA    It's the only place for miles around that's far enough from a door to legally smoke. THEO    Oh.  [beat] We have an assignment. LEONA    We as in you and me, or is there more "we" than I'm aware of? THEO    Uh, no.  Were you expecting someone? LEONA    [sigh]  I'll come down. MUSIC Scene 4.    SOUND    IN CAR LEONA    What's the story? THEO    I was about to ask you the same thing. LEONA    [grr] The story we're supposed to go and get. THEO    Oh!  Cattle mutilation.