LIFE AND LIVING THE MYSTERY OF SUCCESS

By Bal Krishna Thakur

This book is the compendium of those thoughts, ideals, principles and values which are essential for the harmonious development of man. It reflects the nature, pattern, direction and destination of the life of man. It addresses the most basic needs, desires and concerns of man. It contains both the ends of life and the means of living. It is a holistic vision that facilitates to see the entire complexities of life at a glance.

The ideas contained in this book are universally applicable irrespective to the time, place, age, sex, caste, creed, culture, color, religion, nationality, profession and the financial status of a person. It will serve as an ideal to guide people in proper selection and the performance of duties in different circumstances and at the different stages of life which constitute the real success.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Notion Press
• Release date: Jun 5, 2015
• ISBN: 9789352060085

Book preview

Index

Chapter 1

Introduction

Meaning of Successful Life

The term success has a variable meanings. Its meaning varies with respect to the time and place of an individual. It has something personal and a subjective import. Everybody cherishes certain dreams in life. Accordingly, everybody sets some goals in life and moves towards that. If he attains that then he thinks himself as successful. If he fails to attain that then he considers his life as a failure.

Generally, it is believed that the person who is well placed in job and earns handsome amount of money is successful in life. But we can see many people around who are professionally well settled and have huge income. But on personal count, they are restless and sad. They lack the joy of living and self-respect. There can be any reason of it. It may be due to family problems, ill health or so and so. Their life can’t be called as successful in real sense. So the money is, but not the only measurement of success in life.

The success of life is an integrating word. It does not mean the success in any single job or purpose. It is not the name of some time or some days of working. It is the name of a vast period of time in which a man has to perform numerous duties and fulfill many responsibilities towards himself, his family, his business, his society, his nation and the nature. For the comprehensive success in life, it is necessary for him to perform all his duties well and enjoy life.

Some people get so much engrossed in their profession that they do not care for their own health, family and other liabilities. They get huge success in their professions. But they miserably fail on other fronts. Thus they miss a crucial part of life. Some people have just the opposite quality. They are very much concerned for their family, health and personal matters. But they fail in their professions. This is also not a good prospect.

Man is a complex being. He has physical, rational, social, emotional and spiritual sides. It creates in him different types of needs and desires. He has the need as well as desire for knowledge, sound health, wealth, respect, recognition, love, peace and happiness. Life can be successful only if it covers all aspects in a harmonious way. For this a balanced approach of living is essential. It can’t be that you pursue your job and hobbies at the cost of your responsibilities towards family and your own physical well being and vice versa. The progress on one front should not be at the cost of others.

The term success as discussed here is not a separate thing than the life itself. The comprehensive success in life is possible only through man’s all-round development. It depends on the harmony in performances of all duties and fulfilling all responsibilities in the best possible way. It is not about chasing different goals into different directions. It is also not about attaining certain goal at the certain point of time. It is to see the life in its entirety. It is about harmonizing the different goals of life and putting them into the same direction. So that, the success in one goal should be contributive to the success in other goals.

Strategy of Successful Living

Success is the basic need of life. Life has value when it is successful. Unsuccessful life is, but a mere carrying the burden of the body. After birth to till death, man’s life passes through different stages. In that he faces different types of needs and challenges. To address those needs and challenges he is required to mould his life on certain pattern. If the pattern is good, he feels satisfaction of living. If the pattern is bad, he drifts in mind and does not enjoy life. This book is all about that pattern of living, which makes life satisfactory and a pleasant affair, which are at the root of success.

The title of this book Life and Living, The Mystery of Success has three parts. The first part is ‘life’, second ‘living’ and the third part is ‘mystery of success.’ Here, first part ‘life’ indicates the conscious element of man. It is the predicament of the self. It is the mover. Its function is to create ideas. The second part ‘living’ indicates the practical aspect of man. It is the predicament of the body. It implements the ideas created by mind. When mind creates sound ideas and body executes those ideas in the same way then man becomes successful.

Thus, the success of life is hidden in the harmonious relation between the mental and the physical aspects of man. When there is a dichotomy between the mind and body, that is, between thoughts and actions then man’s personality gets divided. His body doesn’t follow the command of his mind and his mind keeps no sympathy with his physical state. This lack of harmony between the mind and body causes failure in life. Without internal harmony, a man can’t get success.

For the authentic success in life it is necessary that all aspects of living should be given the complete attention. So that, there could be a balanced growth in man. It can be possible only by the rational selection and the performance of duties. For that there is the need of the rational, material, emotional and spiritual advancement of man. For the complete well-being, man needs to pursue knowledge, wealth, sense-gratification and virtues. Knowledge satisfies rational needs; wealth satisfies material needs; sense-gratification satisfies emotional needs and virtue satisfies the spiritual needs.

Successful living is an art. It requires a well-planned strategy. It calls for the balancing of duties in life. It is to strike balance in duties towards oneself, one’s family, business, society, God, nation and nature. In life, in addition to professions, one needs to be equally dutiful towards his own self, his family, society and all other concerns. It not only gives man more satisfaction in life, but also makes him more energetic, enthusiastic and creative at work.

Life is nothing but the collection of the moments of living. If a man enjoys these moments well by performing all his duties then his life is successful. If he fails to do so then his life is a failure. It is not so much important that how long you would be alive. How you live and how you perform your duties in life that is more important. Whatever things you got to do in life, do it properly. Give equal importance to all works, whether big or small. It will pave way for the grand successes in your life.

Brief Note of Chapters

After introduction, the second chapter of the book is ‘The Man’. In this chapter emphasis has been given on the man making. It discusses about the ways and means of how a man can know himself; his worth; how he can rise above the level of individuality and attain personality, which is good not only for himself but also for the mankind. The topics which have been discussed in this chapter include the problems of man today; goals of human life; knowing thyself; developing worthiness; law of attraction; personality development; process of personality development; and becoming The Man.

The third chapter has been devoted to action. Action is the most fundamental part of the human existence. Without it life has no meaning. Inactivity is tantamount to death. The success of life, nay the life itself depends on action. Therefor, action is the essence as well as the basic need of life. It is absolutely necessary for the optimum development of an individual.

Man becomes successful by performing his duties well. The performance of duties well requires various methods and techniques which depend upon man’s age, circumstance and capacity. This chapter outlines those methods and techniques. It includes the performance of one’s own duty, that means the selection of right jobs in life. Everybody can’t do everything. Everybody is born with a particular aptitude, temperament and capacity. So, everybody has specific duties in life. To perform one’s duties well requires proper planning; initiating action; controlling emotions; taking action as the means of self-realization; performing duty for duty’s sake; and getting over the conflict between the karma and destiny. These are the major topics which have been discussed in this chapter.

Chapter four deals with the matters of problem-solving. Man is essentially a pleasure-loving creature. He wants his life to be problem free, neat and clean. But it never happens. Problem is an inevitable fact of life. As long as man lives, problem persists. We can’t avoid it. For success we should not imagine the life which is problem free. We have to learn to live well in spite of problems. This we can do by facing and overcoming problems whenever that arise.

Problems are not always the same. It is also not that all men faces the similar problems in life. But there are certain ways and methods applying which everybody can handle his problems. The major topics of this chapter include acceptance of the reality of life; don’t run away from the problems; ways to solve problems; how to develop faith in oneself; gains from unfavorable circumstances; finding ways or making it during problems; and maintaining the flexibility in life.

Chapter five deals with success. Success is the subject matter of this whole book. But the term success as has been discussed in this chapter is about the success in job and professions. For self-sustenance everybody has to do something in life. For that everybody has to select a right job in life. But everybody does not get success in that. The main reason is that many people either do not select the right job or do not perform their duties well. They act as a forceful laborers in life. They lack motivation and the right attitude towards work. They are engaged in short-cuts. It does not allow them to accomplish anything concrete in life. In this chapter the focus has been given on the key issues for success; goal-setting; hard work; focus and discipline; determination; perseverance; self-belief; causes of failure; rising above failures; and accepting the responsibilities in life.

Chapter six deals with the management of time. Man is mortal. In life he has been allotted a limited period of time. In that he has to do many things. He has to study; do jobs; raise family and children and perform other social obligations. All these works demand a special time. Nobody is rich in terms of time. Nobody has excess time. So, for success in life it is very necessary to use the time prudently. In this chapter the focus has been given on the value of time; how to use time prudently; respecting the passing times; how to live in vivid present; and how to make good use of leisure.

Chapter seven outlines the importance of good behavior in life. Good behavior makes man attractive. It places man on the top in family, society and business. People like and support him who has good behavior. Bad behavior, on the contrary, does just opposite. It creates repulsive qualities in man. People detest him who has bad behavior. Even if a person attains a random success in profession, but if his behavior is not good then he can’t sustain his success for long. Thus, the pursuance of good behavior in life is must for success.

The basic elements of the good behavior as have been outlined in this chapter are morality; goodness of character; creating positive attitude; self-control; courtesy; modesty; love and forgiveness; tolerance; controlling of anger, arrogance, jealousy, fault finding; handling of criticism and preserving self-respect. These qualities are reflected in man’s daily life when he acts and interacts with others. It costs nothing, but pays a lot. It creates the foundation of success in life.

Chapter eight focuses on the role of communication in human life. Normally the role of communication is emphasized in business and public administration. But it is equally important in man’s daily life. It is one of the most essential things for the successful living. It connects man with others. Life can’t be imagined without communication.

Only to speak and hear do not mean communication. It means creating the mutual understanding between two people. To convey one’s feelings or message to others successfully requires certain skills. These skills are honed by practice. If a man has good skill of communication then he can adjust well with the people anywhere. In this chapter the focus has been given on communication skill, art of conversation, self-control in discussion, body language, importance of listening, speech, voice, maintaining nicety in talks and public speaking.

Chapter nine deals with the quality of leadership in man. Leadership is the ability to get people do things as per one’s wishes with conviction and enthusiasm. The world is very complicated and mysterious. To live successfully in it, the quality of leadership in man is essential. Leadership does not begin or end at the top. It is every bit as important in family, society and the work place as it is at the top. The quality of leadership is required at every that place where group activities and inter-personal relationships are involved.

The major qualities of leadership are enthusiasm; self-confidence; far-sightedness; decision-making; goal-setting; communication skill; delegation of responsibilities; probity and integrity; respecting the dignity of others; team work; handling complaints; rising above the praise and blame and popularity. In this chapter detailed elaboration has been made as how to develop these qualities into one’s personality.

Chapter ten deals with the matters of family. These days the institution of family has weakened. Formerly people used to live in an extended family and experience the pleasure and pain together. They had a shared life. But now there is no such thing as the shared life. So-called modernity has given rise to self-centered and sensual life-style. Man spends most of his time either in accumulation of material goods or enjoying that. He hardly gets time to think for others. It has created mistrust and has destroyed the emotional attachment of man with family members. Due to this, in spite of getting success in other fields, man does not enjoy his life to the full extent.

Family is the primary human institution. It unites its members in the bond of love, adoration, common interest and common will. Lone life is painful. Family relation gives bone to the soul. The atmosphere of family has a huge impact on man’s life and living. To gain and enjoy success in life, unity and peace in family is essential. With this objective chapter ten outlines husband-wife relations; causes of disunity in family; importance of family unity; issues areas in husband-wife relationship; methods of maintaining the family unity; ideal methods of nurturing children; issues areas in parents-children relationship; and the importance of mother.

In chapter eleven, the matters related to friendship has been discussed. Man is helpless in alone. Life has many twists and turns. To sail through smoothly in it, it is necessary to have some good friends on whom we could confide, from whom we could take help at the time of need and with whom we could share our pleasure and pain. Friends should be loyal, faithful, true guide, open and plain, who could stand by us through thick and thin. In this chapter methods have been shown as how to make as well as become a good friend.

The topics of this chapter include making of friends; dress and appearances, verifying the character of man; being beware of cunning friends; avoiding bad people; self-interest in friendship; friendship suits among equals; and ‘man is known by his company’. The last topic evaluates the prospects and personality of man on the basis of his friendship.

Chapter twelve is concerned with the relation of man with society. Man is a social being. To assert his identity and fulfill his hopes and aspirations he has the need of society. He gets resources for growth from the society. So, it is but natural that when he attains success and his personality grows then people keep expectations from him. The success of a man has value only if the people in society also get opportunity to reap the fruit of that. In this chapter I have reconciled the individual success of man with the success of society.

Despite the success at individual level, the pressure to live and adjust with society is always high. Society not only supports for growth, it is also the worst critic of man’s actions. It demands courage and patience to live amicably in it. It is by living in society that man’s character and virtues develop and tested. The people who lack courage, live in isolation. But a man can’t achieve a grand success in life by confining himself to his cell. For that he needs to expand his personality and do something for the sake of society, nation and the world.

The major topics which have been discussed in this chapter include the role of society in human life; success of society; breaking the boundary of oneself; lighting of candle, instead of cursing the darkness; self-improvement through self-sacrifice; how to become good oneself; and the ways of maintaining peace and harmony in society.

Chapter thirteen throws light on the relation between man and nature. Any discussion about man’s success sans the mention of his relation with nature is incomplete. Man does not exist on a separate island. The existence of all creatures on this earth is interdependent. We are all interdependent on one another, not only man on man, nation on nation, but the existence of all creatures and floras and faunas are interwoven. So, the development of man is not possible in reality, without the development of environment and ecology.

In this chapter, the focus has been given on the impact of development on environment and ecology; protection of environment; and how and why man should live with nature. Man is the supreme being on the earth. He is at the centre of all creations. So, the onus to save nature lies on him. It is not the duty of government alone to protect environment and ecology. To save nature there is the need of a combined effort of one and all. Everybody should spare some time to render some selfless service to the nature. It will ensure mental peace, happiness and the physical well being of man.

Chapter fourteen is devoted to education. Education is must in life for the all-round development of man. It brings harmonious development of innate powers, original thinking, liberalism, tolerance, persuasiveness, self-confidence and self-dependence. It makes man aware of his rights and duties. It is a powerful tool to empower an individual, reform society and build nation. An educated man becomes a thorough gentleman and a responsible citizen. He works for the development of society and nation. Stressing these needs following topics have been discussed in this chapter: attitudinal difference between an educated and a foolish man; power of knowledge; aims of education; always be a learner; be a critical thinker; practice what you learn; and the importance of books.

Chapter fifteen focuses on health. Sound health is the first requisite in life. Only that man can do anything significant in life who is fit and healthy. Without good health man can neither enjoy life nor can do anything worthwhile. Bad health affects man’s duty, responsibility, respectability, spirituality, peace, prosperity and happiness, all. It destroys the harmony of his existence. So, the first duty of man is to keep himself healthy. With this objective some most common techniques of good heath have been explained in this chapter. These methods have broadly been divided into three parts, first, to know who is healthy? Second, how to maintain a good health; and third, prevention from diseases is better than cure.

Chapter sixteen is ‘Wealth’. Money is an indispensable need in life. It is at the centre of the human existence. If a man has no money then he can’t keep even his belly filled. A penniless person is a miserable being, unable to keep even his body and soul together. Its money which gives man courage, confidence and social prestige. Money is needed not only to procure the basic needs and amenities but also to fulfill the cherished goals in life. Hence, money is a measurement of success.

Chapter sixteen outlines the need and importance of money; ways of earning money; proper use and preservation of wealth; and the limitation of wealth. As earning is the duty, so preservation of wealth too is the duty of man. But there is a difference between preservation and the stashing of money. Stashing of money by fair means or foul makes man a slave of money. It destroys his peace and happiness in life.

All men differ in their capacity of earning and spending money. So, for peaceful and decent living everybody should mark a limit of wealth which would be enough for him and his immediate progeny on the basis of his earning and spending capacity. He should not be concerned for all the generations to come. After reaching that limit he should not become inactive. Rather he should be more active. Then he should work in a detached manner with the greater emphasis on the service of humanity. It will give more peace and happiness in life. It is what has been explained in the limitations of wealth.

Chapter seventeen talks about happiness. Happiness is a natural instinct of man. Everybody craves for it. So, it is also a measurement of success in life. Today life is full of tension. Tension is prevailing everywhere, in family, society and at the work place. In the present era the level of comforts and conveniences of man have increased to an unimaginable level. What facilities a common man enjoys today, were not available even to the kings few hundred years ago. But the more we resort to external means for attaining peace and happiness in life, the more we are drifting towards misery and unrest.

Unhappiness pulls man down. It kills enthusiasm and reduces his potential for work. In this chapter the examination has been made on the reasons of wide spread unhappiness and the ways to remove them. When unhappiness is removed, happiness dawns. The major topics which have been discussed in this chapter include man’s attitude; accepting dualism in life; sources of happiness; conquering greed; contentment; path of spirituality; preserving self-respect; prudence in choosing pleasure and the qualities of happy people.

Chapter eighteen is concerned with the religion and spiritualism. Any talk of successful living sans the discussion of religion and spiritualism would lack gravity. Religion is an essential part of man’s life. Yet this is one of the most controversial topics. Humanity across the world is divided on the basis of religions. People feel a sort of separation and a class in themselves. They abhor the ideas and the man of other religions. It hampers their peaceful coexistence. In this chapter I have outlined those topics which are essential to get the better insight of religion and the religiosity of man. The major topics which have been discussed in this chapter are religion, spiritualism, existence of God, role of faith in religion, necessity of religion, growth of religions, essence of religions, unity of religions, devotion and the journey of life.

Although the chapters of the book are seemingly different from one another. But at the deeper level they are complimentary and in congruence with one another. For the authentic success in life we can’t take them separately. The ideas contained in them together make a man successful. The complete success of man is possible only through the combination of what is called in the Indian ethical system as Swartha (duties towards oneself), Parmartha (duties towards others) and Purushartha (duties at the different stages of life). I have synthesized them in these chapters. I hope this synthetic approach will bring enlightenment, honor, peace, prosperity, happiness, harmony and the precision in your life. It is what at most we expect from the successful life.

Chapter 2

The Man

According to John Locke Man is an organic unity of reason and sensibility. Reason is superior to sensibility. So, he has higher and lower faculties in him. The former is called a rational self or personality; later is called a sentient self or individuality. Man is an individual in so far as he is subject to immediate wants and instincts. His interests clash with the interests of others. His wants and instincts demand their satisfaction and prompt him to struggle with others.

Man becomes a person when he exercises reasons to control his impulsive tendencies. He subdues the lower sentient self to the higher rational self. He sees in fellow human beings a counterpart of himself. Human beings have a common life and shared interests in so far as they exercise their prerogative of reason. As mere individual, they differ from one another. As person they share a common life. An individual is a means of self-realization, while a person is an end in itself.

Man is distinguished from other creatures due to his greater power of consciousness. His consciousness enables him to understand himself and his surroundings. He has the ability to reason into the ultimate cause of the universe and become one with it. In this chapter we would discuss the ways and means of how a man can rise from the level of individuality and attain personality, which is good not only for himself but for the whole mankind and in the end he attains the Absolute. In fact, this whole book is a means to achieve that end.

Problems of Man Today

The present era is the period of great transition of the human history. The developments in the fields of science and technology in recent times have made a tremendous impact on man’s life and living. At material level it has made life much more comfortable. But, this success has its own drawbacks. It has failed man greatly on the fronts of spiritualism and humanity. Today man is so much preoccupied with technology that his manhood has been lost. He has renounced his value system. He lacks beauty, nobility, ethics and aesthetics in his approach of living. He is socially insensitive and morally bankrupt. He is indulged in outward show. He is hollow from within.

Over emphasis on materialism and sensual life-style has made man selfish to the core. Everybody is concerned about his petty selfish gains. Nobody cares for others feelings. Everything is traded, feelings too. This apathy breeds narrow-mindedness which is the root cause of arrogance, doubt, fear, hatred, mistrust, treachery, bigotry, hypocrisy, immorality, intolerance, war-mongering and all types of disunity. It is causing untold miseries to the people everywhere.

Humanity today is at the cross-road. The urge of man to satisfy his own wants at any cost has suffocated the instincts of being human. Man today is more prone to hatred than love and friendship. Its main reason is that he is internally dissatisfied. He is dissatisfied because he is blind in pursuing the sensual life style. He always looks for the immediate gain and pleasure. He doesn’t bother to look for anything beyond. This attitude has made him lead the life which has no ideal or outlook.

Technology has brought the comforts of living, but not the peace in life. The progress of man is full of contradictions. His routine life is overworked. Due to this, he has to undergo a variety of stress and strains. Average people have no time to look within or meditate on the higher purposes of life. They have no concern for anything beyond their immediate needs and gains. It has made their life miserable.

Man today is not living, but chasing the life. He is in a hurry. He wants to get everything in no time. He always runs after big achievements. He is always after taking the giant leaps. In that process he forgets to take care of those small things which form the foundation of success. Due to this he fumbles into the mirage all through his life.

The success of life depends not on doing big things. It depends on doing small things in big way. Big achievements in life are not the outcome of any single act. It consists of a succession of many little accomplishments. It depends on the handling of small issues and events properly. Neglect of small things causes a great many failures in life.

Goal of Human Life

Man is the greatest creature of the universe. He is at the centre of all existences in the world. Everything else has value because of him. So, as the central and most important creature, he must have those qualities which could separate him from the rest of the creations. He must not live and die only to satisfy his bodily comforts, ego, sex and senses. He must value his life for something more, something superior and something sublime, which should justify his human birth.

Man has to do many things in life. He has to study, do jobs, raise family and children and so on. These are the common things which everybody does in life. But the burden of being human is great, if one accepts it as such. If he spends his time merely in gratifying his carnal appetites then there would be no difference between him and an animal. Sense of duty is the only quality that separates man from animal. Human birth has value only if a man has a sense of duty towards his fellow citizens and he performs his duties well in life.

Humanity demands that a man should do all his acts with a sense of duty. So that, his acts in addition to being good for himself should contribute to the development of humanity. For example, if one gets good education and becomes a scientist, professor, poet, philosopher, doctor or engineer then his act is good not only for himself. Society also gets benefitted by that. If one educates his children well or does his business well then he also does great service to the humanity.

When