Will Work for Fun: Three Simple Steps for Turning Any Hobby or Interest Into Cash
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Will Work for Fun - Alan R. Bechtold
CHAPTER 1
THE SITCOM AS LIFE
Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual
as one in which he has had some fun, some joy, some real
satisfaction, that day is a loss.
—Anonymous
WHY YOUR LIFE NEVER MATCHES WHAT YOU SEE ON THE SCREEN—AND HOW EASY IT IS TO CREATE A LIFE THAT DOES
Close your eyes and imagine along with me.
Wait a minute. I just remembered. You’re reading this. You’d better keep your eyes open. It’s kind of hard reading with your eyes closed.
Back up. Rewind and edit.
Read along and imagine with me. Ask yourself as you read—does the following scene sound familiar?
Fade in.
The office is humming with activity. Everywhere you look in the large, overly lit room, people sit in cubicles, industriously typing, talking on the phone, and examining computer screens.
Quickly, we swing into one cubicle for a close-up. The rest of the office blurs and fades away while the sound of office activity softens to a background hum.
In the cubicle that comes into view, a young, slender, cherry-blonde woman sits looking at eBay on her computer. She snaps her chewing gum while she does her nails. In her cubicle, every surface but the desk and two office chairs is covered with Barbie dolls, Barbie doll posters, Barbie doll books, and Barbie doll accessories.
As we watch, she tries without success to match the rhythm of her gum chewing to the strokes of her nail file. She tries alternating the beats, then tries to match the rhythm.
Suddenly, she takes the gum out of her mouth. Clearly frustrated, still holding her gum in one hand, she looks around on her desk for a place to put it. Her desk is covered with paperwork. Frowning, she starts to stick the gum first on one stack of papers, then on another.
Finally, she shoves several stacks of paper aside, places her gum firmly on the desk, then quickly shuffles some papers back over it.
She taps something on her computer keyboard. Then she clenches her fists, staring intently at the screen.
Damn.
She types quickly again. Then she sits, staring in anticipation.
Damn.
Jenny?
The voice catches her by surprise. Jenny jumps a good foot out of her chair, spins, and sees her friend, Tom, standing in the doorway to her cubicle. He’s smiling mischievously.
"Don’t you ever knock, Tom? Jenny asks, wide-eyed.
You scared the living daylights out of me."
There’s no door on these cubicles, Jenny. C’mon. What good would knocking do?
Tom steps into Jenny’s cubicle and plops down in one of the two empty chairs, swinging his feet up to rest on the seat of the unoccupied chair. Are you still looking for that Barbie you’ve been blathering about for months?
Yeah,
Jenny says. I’m still lookin’.
She stares intently at the screen again. Then, she taps a few keys and sits, watching the screen.
"Damn. I can’t believe it, Tom. This is the first time I’ve seen a genuine side-parted bubble-cut Barbie on eBay in months—and somebody out there keeps outbidding me the moment I bid it up. Crap. I’d gladly give a month’s salary for that Barbie."
Tom laughs. I’d give a full year’s salary to anyone who can explain why you’d want another Barbie at all.
Another voice pipes up at the cubicle door. Me, too.
Jenny and Tom both jump nearly a foot, in unison, snapping their startled attention to the doorway. It’s Jenny and Tom’s mutual friend, Albert.
Why don’t you just make your top bid a full month’s salary?
Albert asks. Then the system will place the next highest bid for you automatically. That’ll make it tougher for anyone to outbid you so quickly.
Wearing thick-rimmed glasses, a white shirt not all the way tucked in, and a black pencil-thin tie, Albert laughs nervously, ending with a loud snort.
Albert,
Jenny says, composing herself. I can’t afford to spend a month’s salary, no matter how badly I’d love to add that Barbie to my collection. That was just a figure of speech. Besides—it’s more fun actually bidding on them.
Either way, I’m with Tom,
Albert replies. "I can’t imagine why any adult would want one Barbie, let alone hundreds."
Jenny looks perturbed. "I don’t have hundreds of Barbies. For cryin’ out loud. Everybody knows Barbie’s special. She was a part of my childhood. I grew up with her. She’s—like—my role model. And the side-parted bubble-cut Barbie is one of the only truly rare Barbies I still don’t have."
As Albert enters the cubicle, Tom sits up, taking his feet off the only other chair in the cramped space. Albert slumps into the now-open chair, his posture slouched.
Smiling again, Tom says, There, there, Jenny. We understand. I’m sure your life won’t be complete without her.
Jenny stares solemnly at Tom for a minute. You’re mocking me. You really don’t understand. After all the time we’ve worked together and known each other, you still don’t get it, do you?
Both Tom and Albert speak in unison . . . deadpan serious. They shake their heads back and forth in unison. Actually . . . we don’t.
Tom says, I have to admit it, but Matchbox cars were my favorite toy when I was a kid. I’d even have to say they were important to me during that time. But, I still don’t feel the slightest pressure to have every Matchbox car ever manufactured during my childhood today.
Albert chortles, pushing his glasses up, which slide back down on his nose with each shoulder-shaking snicker. "Hah. That’s the truth, Tom. Now you collect live Barbies instead."
Tom smirks at Albert. What’s your point, smart-ass? I’d much rather have a living, breathing Barbie in my room than something made out of plastic. And—no—it doesn’t count if she’s inflatable.
Albert waves Tom away,