The Bully Blueprint: A No Nonsense Guide to Understanding and Dealing with Bullies.

By Virgil A Greer III

The new book titled The Bully Blue Print offers a complete and comprehensive insight in to the mind of a bully, the victims of bullying and how to deal with both.

Learn more on why your child is refusing to tell you that they are being bullied at school
Obtain an in-depth knowledge on the reasons for bullying
Understand bully victims better and help them out on a prompt basis
Teach your kids on how to spot bullies and what type of behavior constitutes bullying
Help rebuild your kids' self-esteem and grow in to strong and independent individuals
Save up on the costs of endless hours of counseling, therapies and support groups
Explore some of the most efficient ways for your kids to tackle with bullies
Debunk popular myths about bullies and break away from stereotyping
Identify the different types of bullying, such as physical, emotional and cyber.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 4, 2015
• ISBN: 9781483552903

Book preview

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Introduction

Studies have shown that 70% of kids have been bullied at least once in their lifetime. Repeated over the course of time, bullying is a result of aggressive behavior. If we talk about schools, bullying is used by the bully to cause fear or distress in the mind of the victim and to create a negative environment at school for him or her. Bullying is a result of the bully having some sort of advantage over the victim i.e. Physical, Psychological or Social.

Bullying has many forms; it can be physical which includes hitting, pushing, stealing or damaging property, verbal bullying includes name calling, mocking, or making sexist, racist or homophobic comments, social bullying which is based on prejudices and involves spreading rumors about others or making them social outcasts, written form of bullying includes hurtful or insulting notes and cyber bullying which is the use of emails, cell phones or social networking sites to spread rumors or hurtful comments.

Many people often confuse bullying with conflict, when in truth they are two different things. No person holds an advantage over the other in a conflict and each person is comfortable while expressing his/her view point over a certain matter. The nature of the conflict i.e. negative or positive depends on the ability of individuals involved in the conflict in dealing with the matter. If it is not dealt with in the correct manner, the interaction may become an aggressive one. When the conflict becomes a routine activity and one individual or set of individuals have some sort of advantage over the other/others, it becomes a case of bullying. In such a scenario the aggressor in the conflict tries to take control over a course of time while the recipient of this aggressive behavior keeps backing off and limits the desire to express his/her view point.

Bullying should not be accepted as a part of growing up. A serious issue, as research has shown, bullying can have damaging and lasting consequences, not just for the victims, but their families, peers and the community around them. The risk of emotional, relationship and behavioral problems are prevalent for the victim as well as for the bully. As far as kids are concerned, they will need support from their adults to overcome anxiety, loneliness, low self esteem, physical illness or phobias which are a result of bullying.

When people feel threatened they often lash out using harmful or destructive words as these are the words that they use to express their personal feelings. This leads to miscommunication and in turn alienates the person. Verbal abuse may give the person a temporary sense of satisfaction but this is likely to have lasting effects on the other person as verbal abuse is difficult to forget for most people. Contrary to this type of defense mechanism, verbal judo teaches you to redirect the energy of your opponent and not to resist them. Ignorance and dismissal is also a part of resistance. Verbal judo helps you to educate the aggressor, win their respect and fill them with positive energy in order to calm the aggression in them.

This book looks at the different forms of bullying, circumstances or behaviors that lead to bullying and the use of appropriate words and martial arts to overcome all forms of bullying so that it may not become a problem either for the victim or for the bully/aggressor.

Chapter 1

Forms of Bullying

Before we come down to identifying the circumstances and behaviors that lead to bullying and their solution, it is important to know the different forms of bullying faced by most kids these days. When people talk about bullying, the first thing that comes to their mind is physical bullying which includes punching, kicking and hitting, when in fact bullying comes in all shapes and forms and is in no way limited to physical aggression. Some of the forms of bullying that most kids face are explained below.

Physical Bullying

The most obvious and prevalent form of bullying is physical bullying. In order to have an advantage or control over the other person, kids use physical means in this form of bullying. This happens as a result of the bully having more physical strength or the victim lacking aggression. Punching, kicking and hitting are examples of physical bullying. The easiest form of bullying to identify, physical bullying is the first thing that comes to people’s mind when they hear the word and is likely to receive more attention than others.

Verbal Bullying

In order to gain power over their targets, bullies often use words and name calling as a medium; this form of bullying is known as verbal bullying. In order to hurt or belittle their victims, bullies will use relentless insults. The appearance, actions and behavior of a person are three things bullies use to identify a target which explains why kids with special needs are often victims of bullying. Occurring often in the absence of adults, verbal bullying is difficult to identify. A form of verbal confrontation, most parents dismiss verbal bullying as an insignificant thing and as a result ask the victim of verbal bullying to ignore it though research has shown that verbal bullying can have lasting consequences often leaving the victim with emotional scars.

Emotional Bullying

A sly and deceptive type of bullying which often goes unnoticed by parents and the school staff is emotional bullying. A means of sabotaging the social standing of their peers, bullies use social manipulation in emotional bullying. Social manipulation includes spreading rumors, breaking confidences or manipulating situations with the ultimate aim of increasing one’s social standing while decreasing that of the victim. This type of bullying is used generally by girls commonly known as Mean Girls. Insults, ignorance, exclusion and intimidation are some of the things that