Bully Maze Finding A Way Out Revised Edition 11/15

By Meriam Wilhelm

In even the best schools and communities - bullying occurs. Whether your child is being bullied, is bullying others or is an uncomfortable bystander, the effects to home, school and community can be devastating.
I initially wrote this book two years ago after retiring from 35 years in education. My intent was to provide parents, educators and community leaders with information and intervention strategies Since that time I have continued to research the many ways in which adults can intervene to help pull children out of the debilitating web of bullying. And it is this new research which I am sharing in my Revised Edition.
Successfully shepherding a child out of their role as victim or bully requires the coordinated efforts of parents, coaches, educators and other involved adults working together to foster a greater understanding of the many facets of bullying. Empower your child with strategies, language and skills they will need to find their way out.
You may be surprised by how many successful people have had to overcome their own school yard bullies on their way to success. Share with your kids the names of famous athletes, actors and politicians who worked their way out of the Bully Maze.
Bullies can change, victims can find their voice and bystanders can gain the strength to make a difference with the help of adults using the right tools. Using everyday language, this book provides insights, tips and techniques sure to resolve bullying and to effectively lead children out of The Bullying Maze.
Bullying hurts, but you can make it stop!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Meriam Wilhelm
• Release date: Dec 2, 2013
• ISBN: 9781310980794

Meriam Wilhelm

After spending over thirty five years in education I discovered my love for writing and decided that it was time to retire to create my own magical beach city. Modeled after Redondo Beach, California, where I grew up - I’ve had a super time introducing readers to the Merriman community. A family of witches filled with love, magic and never ending adventure, these three sisters and their extended family members are constantly running into one paranormal problem after another.My latest book, Murder By Magic, is my first attempt at writing a cozy mystery and I hope that you find as much enjoyment reading it as I did writing it. Feel free to stop by my website where you can see my other books and learn about my love for sewing and traveling. I even included a picture of me and one of my troll friends that I met on my recent trip to Bergen, Norway. www.meriamwilhelm.comI hope that you find your own magic soon...until then, you can borrow mine!

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SMASHWORDS EDITION

PUBLISHED BY:

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BULLY MAZE

Finding A Way Out

REVISED EDITION

Revised copyright 2015 by Meriam F. Wilhelm

Original copyright © 2013 by Meriam F. Wilhelm

All Rights Reserved

Cover Design, Rebcon

Smashwords Edition Copyright © by Meriam F. Wilhelm 2013 & 2015

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon .com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address proper representatives through the author’s website, www.project-parenting.com

A heartfelt thank you to Rebecca Forster for her constant guidance and support and to my husband and children for all of their technical and emotional support. Could not have finished this without all of your help!

BULLY MAZE

Finding A Way Out

Revised 12/15

By

Meriam F. Wilhelm, M.Ed

Table of Contents

Prologue::What Makes a Child a Bully or a Victim?

Chapter 1: The Culture of Bullying

Chapter 2: Why Do Kids Bully?

Chapter 3 What Kind Of Bully Do You Have?

Chapter 4 The Bully Alert Call

Chapter 5 Building Your Anti-Bully Support Team

Chapter 6 The Victim

Chapter 7 Even The Best Schools Have Bullies and Victims

Chapter 8 The Bystander

Chapter 9 Building Your Anti-Victim Support Team

Chapter 10 Ten Tips To Neutralize A Bully

Chapter 11 What You Should Expect From Your Principal

Chapter 12 Books To The rescue

Chapter 13 About The Author

Chapter 14 Resources

Prologue

WHAT MAKES A CHILD A BULLY OR A VICTIM?

"Knowing what’s right doesn’t mean much unless you do what’s right"

Theodore Roosevelt

Whether your child is a bully or a victim, there is hope and a way out of the Bully Maze.

Two years ago I published the first edition of Bully MAZE FINDING A Way Out. I had just retired after 35 years in education and completed my final position as an elementary school principal. I felt confident that I was in a good position to share my insights on bullying with interested parents, educators, child care providers, coaches and community leaders.

Since my first publication I have had the opportunity to do additional research and to speak with many individuals who have either experienced bullying or who have chosen to do more in depth research on the subject. And as my knowledge grew, I felt it important to make some enhancements to my first book. While many of the strategies are consistent with the first book, I have added recent insights and recommended literature. I hope that you find this added information helpful.

As I read up on people who said that they had been bullied as kids I was amazed to see names like Steven Spielberg, Jennifer Lawrence and football player JJ Watt. Each of these people shared how bullying had been a part of their childhood and talked about how it had affected them. Even Justin Timberlake and Taylor Swift discuss being picked on as kids. And as I read on, I was further surprised to see who volunteered that they had actually been a bully during their childhood. A little later in the book I will share with you insights that these and many other people have shared.

Successfully shepherding a child out of their role of victim or bully requires the coordinated effort of parents, coaches, educators and other involved adults working together to foster a greater understanding of both sides of the bullying experience. The ultimate goal is to stop bullying while promoting healthy behaviors in our children. But, unless and until, people step in bullying will continue to adversely affect the lives of kids everywhere.

Bullying effects everyone involved. The victims "are at a higher risk for depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations. Notable periodical Education Week states that The perpetrators experience depression, anxiety and hostility and are prone to substance abuse and antisocial behavior. Bystanders often feel hopeless, insecure, and show symptoms of trauma. And the bully victims- the targets of bullying who also bully others- can suffer the most" So as you can see, no one escapes the emotional web spun by a bully.

Written in three parts, this book provides insights, strategies and suggested replacement behaviors to stop children from bullying. Just like the bully, victims too need help to develop techniques, language and skills to effectively neutralize bullying behaviors.

As you read through the book you will find similarities between children who bully and those who are victimized and in how they can both be helped. And be sure to look for the identified warning signs that a child is either acting as a bully or reacting as a victim.

The final portion of the book lists a number of recommended children's books on the subject of bullying. A lot of bullying involves shame and fear and many parents just don’t know how to begin a conversation with their child on this topic. Every important conversation with your child can begin by reading a book together and then allowing words to flow. I will include not only the names of books but also how to use a story book to initiate important conversations.

Bullying hurts but you can make it stop. Learn important strategies for leading your child out of the bully maze, whether they are the bully or a victim of bullying.

Chapter 1

THE CULTURE OF BULLYING

"I was bullied so badly my dad used to have to walk me into school so I didn’t get attacked"

Actress, Jessica Alba

Bullying happens and it hurts!

Bullying can happen at any school, on any athletic field, in any neighborhood park or community center. Anywhere that children play, socialize or gather can be a ripe location for bullying to blossom. According to D.A.R.E. this year alone, one in four children in this country will be trapped in the bully maze. The effects of bullying are profound and can have life-long consequences for both the bully and the victim. And once a child is recognized as a Bully or a Victim, it can be tough to escape that reputation.

Bullies come in all ages, shapes and sizes and whether it is witnessed as an overt and highly visible action or hidden in covert, quiet remarks or unseen gestures; bullying is damaging. to individuals of all ages. I am sure that you all know friends or co-workers who never quite transitioned from the dark-side and who continue to govern their lives using bullying tactics. It's unfortunate that as children, these individuals never received the support needed to redirect them out of the bully maze.

Not every child who engages in bullying behaviors is a full blown bully and not every child who is subjected to