Ashtrays to Jawbeakers: Volume 4

By June Project

The most powerful thing a person can do is to share their life with complete strangers. A writer does this by writing in a way to make your world fade. As an author progresses in their journey to becoming the best they can be, we like to think we are pulling you the reader along with us. This project is about that. Writers write so readers can read. That is the idea anyway. We do appreciate you the reader coming into our worlds for a few minutes. We hope what we have written will take you away from your day just long enough to forget about it.
Once again, we come before you to stand behind you, the reader, to invite you into our worlds that we have built or in some cases destroy. We hope you enjoy this edition as much as the others. Not read the others? They are available as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: June Project
• Release date: Jan 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310893599

Book preview

Acknowledgements

We would like to thank you, the readers who make this project possible. It is the ability to shape words into unfamiliar shapes that separates fiction from non-fiction. We hope you have enjoyed reading these stories as much as we enjoyed creating them during this first year of Ashtrays to Jawbreakers.

The authors associated with June Project have come together to provide a functional space where writers can feel welcomed and fear-free in making their work available to a wider audience Recognition is what every writer strives for. Our community aims to give readers a fresh approach to familiar writing. If we can touch, move or make you think, we have been successful

All rights reserved: Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of this publication may be reproduced distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means or stored in a database or retrieval system; without prior written permission of the author. This is a work of fiction.

Names characters places and incidents are a product of the authors imagination are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual events locals or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Foreword

In a perfect world, all the writers would get a fair break; judged on talent and not how big their wallet is. This is an attempt to give a few authors their just reward for being stubborn and not giving up.

Writing is something a writer needs to do. It's not optional, it's like breathing. If we don't write every day, even if it's just a few words, we don't sleep due to the characters in our head demanding that their stories are told. When we get it right then the feeling is the greatest high on the planet.

Some authors say that their work is no good, that it lacks the certain je ne sais quoi to make it with in the world of literature. They are almost always wrong. The big part of any author’s experience is not getting it published but getting it read by the masses. Half the battle of any author is to stride onward, even if it means facing their fear of rejection.

As hard as it appears to be, it is actually the easiest part of the experiences. Facing the fear of the unknown is more of the nail biter. It takes patience and perseverance. Not every story will be that one that makes the grade. The key is to just take everything in stride and know you made a valiant effort.

Writers are writers, no matter where they may be from. No matter what their occupation; a writer is a writer. The guy next to you on the bus or that offset co-worker who always looks lost in thought. No matter the region, fiction is fiction. No matter the age of the author, the story remains the same. We as writers strive for that very thing any other non-writer strives for.

That is recognition. Recognition of our skills and talents to bend words to fit the need of expression intended to bring you into our world we have created or in some cases destroyed.

Songs of the heart

By

Ann Sydney

Tin Roofs

surrounded by a sea of tin roofs dwelling in the highest place in town when the rain comes pouring down i drown in a tidal wave of sound

i like the rain when i am alone it is a doleful song for the sad the rhythm beats out my woe i wrap myself in its melody

raindrops fall like my teardrops wrapped in solitude and my sadness i sit and listen to the rain pounding the lonely tune of love lost

up here so high above other sound the rain cuts the silence like a knife i sit and sing my song of lost love to the tune of raindrops on tin roofs

Love Hunter

It is hard to breathe, my eyes screwed shut, such a feeling of dread, evil is lurking, approaching me.

I know this feeling,

I have had it before...

It seethes and boils in my gut,

deposits its foul taste in my mouth.

Unbidden tears fill my eyes,

Mind locks down...

Words freeze in my throat,

loneliness and despair makes the feeling complete...

But it has been felt before, when I first learnt I was not the only love trophy hanging from his hunting belt. A consummate player,

he lives for the thrill of the hunt,

silently stalking, leaving tempting baits,

gentle mating calls,

all part of the deadly trap.

Then, when you show your trust....

he swoops in for the kill,

claiming your heart and soul

for his trophy bag.

He leaves you helpless and hanging • like a piece of unwanted meat…

When off he goes to hunt for new prey

Trolls In Dark Places

Beware...they come upon you when you are vulnerable,

Slinking from a sick, sad and lonely place

Plotting their evil and celebrating their disgrace

Causing hurt and anger wherever they are able

Cleverly disguised and offering you friendship

Telling you what you long to hear and crave

Drawing you into their web, they take you on a hell trip

Beware the coming of The Forsakers…

For they be the most corrupt of heartbreakers

Stealing your smile and ripping the laughter from your soul

Creatures straight from hells dark and dismal grave

Fiends that take delight in deeds dark and foul

With them they bring darkness and despair,

Demons from your worst nightmare.

So beware ...cause before you know they'll steal you away

As they steal the sun from the day,

Darkening this, our fair land

While delivering you into into the devil's foul hand…

Begone Troll, begone back to your dark dank hole

A Tasty Morsel

November 12, 2012 at 1:19am

My life was bland like a boring tasteless meal

Like the undead I was unable to love and feel

I met you on a social networking site

And suddenly my life became a gourmets delight

I am the dill and you are the pickle

You're the champas bubbles that make my nose tickle Filling my life with new tastes and flavor

You are the meal over which I will linger and savor

You are the juicy, tenderest Fillet Mignon

And I the full bodied red wine you sip on

Life is a bowl of ice-cream, you the cherry on top

Being with you is better than being in a candy shop

You are my Willy Wonka, my Candy King

Boy you sure give me a sugary zing

I want to be your sumptuous Dairy Queen

No finer feast in this land has ever been seen

Definitely not fast foods but a well balanced diet

You are the tasty game fish I caught without a fight

No more smorgasbords for you and me

As you are the only dish on the menu I want to see

Dark Angel

He comes in the darkness of the night, I awake, aware of the malevolent vigil he keeps

Standing so close over my prone body, I could feel his hot breath and gaze upon me

Evil emanating from him like the beacon in a lighthouse on a stormy and dark night

Fistsclenched, fingernails biting into my flesh, body held rigid, fearful he notice the breath I take

Be still heart...be still, your tumultuous beating will inform him that I know he has come

I know if I openly acknowledge his existence I will be easy prey to his evil intent

Years have passed, his visits have almost ended....... or so I foolishly thought

A wild party at the air force base and in the early morning we started to drop

Bodies sprawled where ever they could. a tangled profusion of arms and legs

Somewhere between the land of asleep and awake, I was aware of his presence,

I opened my eyes and I looked.....the sight of him took my breath away, he was an Angel

Unheeded, alarm bells sounded in the back of my mind, something about him was not true.

A Rainbow for Me

November 28, 2011 at 11:14pm

I will sing a happy song of rainbows,

And dance a joyful rainbow dance,

I will paint bright pictures of rainbows

And wear a silky rainbow sarong...

Rainbows always make me smile

Born of sunshine and rain

They scatters happiness everywhere

When the sky has finished crying

Rainbows call you out to play

After I have shed my quota of tears

I want a rainbow to enfold me in its embrace

And I'll leave life's pain and sorrow behind

Then when death finally closes my eyes

The sight of a rainbow would always be mine

My wish has been granted...I see a rainbow in my last tear

Whenever you see a rainbow you will know I am near

The Pacific and Me

February 20, 2013 at 5:35am

I woke feeling hot and uneasy, my sleep troubled by the demons that that prowl through my mind when the world becomes dark and still.

Aimlessly I wandered out onto the patio to breathe the fresh air, the sky a sullen grey that matched my mood. As I stood there a gentle breeze passed over me, softly kissing my fevered brow and caressing my aching body.

The tangy aroma of the ocean was carried to me and with it's arrival and I knew where I needed to be,

where I would find solace and healing, I knew whose open arms would welcome me.....

The ocean, my beautiful Pacific was waiting for me.

Dressing in a rush, not even stopping to brush my tangled hair, I raced out the door and ran up over the hill and there she was, as though chastising me for my mood she wore an ominous grey mantle, her waves restlessly pounding the rocks and shore.

I scrambled up the hikers trail to the top of the rugged sandstone cliff and looked out to the horizon, awed by the vastness and solitude, with my arms thrown wide open, my eyes closed and face raised to the sun that was slowly breaking through the clouds, I allowed myself to become one with the beauty and love of Mother Earth, losing myself in the lullaby of the waves and breeze rustling through the grass and trees, even the usual harsh screeching of the gulls was music to my ears.

In my mind I became one of those gulls, soaring to great hieghts and then hovering above the Earth, gliding on the air currents, plumeting down to kiss the ocean then winging high again, abandoning the cares and sadness that have imprisoned me.

The sun finally broke through the clouds that had kept it imprisoned, it's rays not only warming my body and face, but infusing it's warmth and promise into my broken heart and battered soul, promise of life yet to come, dreams to be dreamt and love to be experienced.

Upon opening my eyes I saw the grayness had gone and replacing it was the brilliant blue of a cloudless sky and the serene blue ocean, bejeweled with the sparkling diamonds of the sun reflecting on her surface, the waves no longer restless but gently rolling in.......

I knew I was alive and wanted to stay that way. Life is a gift and who am I to reject this wonderful blessing, I am humbled to be a minor part of it, and to my Pacific Ocean, thank you for embracing me and setting me free

The Magic of Purple

May 10, 2012 at 9:48am

'Tis approaching midnight and my world is suddenly still and silent

I close my eyes, relax and let the shackles that bind me fall away,

My spirit yearns for escape to roam and play in the fairy glades Unfettered by the restraints of a sad, unimaginative society.

I fly, I spin and I twirl in a mad and merry dance of freedom and joy

Soaring above the dank and dark city, escaping into my dream reality

I go to dance with the magical folk, the faeries and the elves

Barefooted, hair wild and loose, I go to dance the dance around the

Jacaranda trees

The breeze blowing it's leaves to the ground, like purple rain that colors the air,

Giggling, prancing nymphs kick up the petals to spread purple happiness everywhere

I laugh, I smile, I sing, I dance in that enchanted lavender cloaked glade,

With happy gentle folk that know not of sorrow, woe, care or pain

Desiring only to play among the purple leaves that lay like precious gems on the ground

So to the the sound of musical madness, under the cool moonlit skies, amongst the trees

I frolic and laugh while the purple colored fairy dust falls about me, majestic magic surrounds me..

Oh, how I love dreaming in purple....

Here It Comes Again

February 12, 2012 at 11:36am

Here it comes again, that alone feeling

It creeps up and hits me, takes me unaware

One minute nothing, the next all despair

Such a nasty, insidious thing

A mantle I hate to wear

Loneliness, it leaves you all empty inside

Dreams and hope have all but died

How I long to hear a kind word

Or feel the warmth of anothers touch

I don't think I am asking for too much

My world is so empty and cold

The loneliness to much to bear

I long for someone to love and hold

Remaining alone is the my greatest fear

Is there anyone out there who will care

My soul screams out into the silence

I can no longer continue with this pretence

That I am stong and I can stand alone

I want to shout out my anguish, let it be known

I need to be loved, I can't live with it's absence

Someone to hold and whisper love into my ear

Someone to kiss my cheek and wipe away my tear

Someone who will call me on the phone

Someone who waits for me at home

Where is that someone who will care

Here it comes again, that alone feeling

It is such a nasty , insidious thing

I close my eyes and dream of a better time

Love , roses , laughter and sparkling wine

All these things I would have as mine

The Dusty Road

September 17, 2012 at 6:59am

The road is long, never ending it seems, a dirt road, it is nowhere

Ground parched, dust kicks up with each step, potholes scar the surface.

Eerie, tall ghost gums reach out to each other from both sides of this road

Their canopy blocks out the otherwise relentless burning of the sun

I AM ALONE...

A hot day but I shiver as the ghostly shadows dance across this path I travel

How I got here and where I travel to I don't know, I just keep walking ahead

The soles of my shoes are pierced by sharp stones, I tire but keep plodding on

Crows screech out the raucous call, the silence of human noise is deafening

I AM ALONE...

I strain to hear a sign of civilization, my mind longs to feel the contact of another

But no, just the rustling of the native animals in the undergrowth of the bush

A python slithers across the road, I pause until it disappears into the grasses

Heart skips a beat acknowledging the hidden perils that lurk in this vast unknown

I AM ALONE...

I know I chose this lonely road, at first rejoicing in the solitude I found here

Heart bruised, mind weary, I believed I could travel alone, needing no-one

After endless dusty miles I learned the difference between solitude and loneliness

But I am hopelessly lost, I have travelled too far and I can't find my way home

I AM ALONE...

The shadows darken, the sunlight that was able to penetrate the tree tops fades

I trip over the potholes in the dusty road, the night chill reaches, grabbing me

The moon and stars are lost behind black clouds, now I am wrapped in darkness

The feeling of solitude has fled, the longing for companionship is overwhelming

I AM ALONE...

I AM LOST...

I Called Your Name

March 29, 2013 at 12:50am

I have tried to put on a happy face, look the world in the eye

I have told you how positive I feel...well it is a lie

Inside I am crying ..... a little bit of me is dying

Telling myself it does not matter, it was nothing anyway

But it was everything to me...it