Super Hero Single Dad: Unleash your super powers and become a hero to your kids, customers and yourself

By Kalani Vale

Superhero Single Dad addresses the needs of time-strapped dads who yearn to be a superhero to their kids. The fathers of today’s generation are faced with the harsh reality of scarcer financial resources, limited visitation, and a dynamic social landscape that is rapidly propelling kids into an adult world before they are ready. Balancing family, work, and kids is a myth.

In order to be a superhero, today’s fathers must maximize their time, grow their financial independence, and increase their social capital. In Superhero Single Dad, Mr. Vale succinctly shows dads how to not only increase the time necessary to raise great kids, but also how to make each moment matter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kalani Vale
• Release date: Feb 21, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310580666

Kalani Vale

Kalani Vale is an author, speaker and a single dad of twins. Kalani’s messages are 100% custom designed to integrate with your organizational values, purpose and goals.As one of the top trainers for the famous Tony Robbins Company, Kalani set the stage on fire as he breathed new life and energy into tried and true concepts.Kalani is an active financial advisor, consultant and coach to hundreds of professionals and organizations. His passion for connection and service (at a lightning pace) is an attribute that sets him apart from most other speakers.He is a volunteer for Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Orange County and lives in Corona, CA. An avid adventurer and explorer, Kalani has limited bookings available in the USA and Asia. Be sure to check out his blog at www.KalaniVale.com

Book preview

Superhero

Single Dad

Unleash Your Super Powers In Work, Family, and Life

Kalani Vale

Copyright 2013 by I Wrote The Book On It, LLC

Published by BEXSI Publishing

Smashwords Edition

www.AuthorYourBrand.com

The opinions expressed by the author are not necessarily those of Bexsi Publishing, LLC.

This book is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither the author nor Bexsi Publishing, LLC, is engaged in rendering legal or professional advice. Since the details of your situation are fact dependent, you should additionally seek the services of a competent professional.

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter One: The Pact

Chapter two: Pact and the Single Dad

Chapter Three: God Time: Your Supreme Being

Chapter Four: Kid Time: Your Superhero Kids

Chapter Five: Work Time: Superleader

Chapter Six: Guy Time: Super Friends

Chapter Seven: Me Time: Your Secret Identity

Chapter Eight: Love Time: Your Wonder Woman

Conclusion

Foreword

Disclaimer: Kalani Vale is a friend of mine. The reason this is a disclaimer is that friends know more about you than you do. I am honored to write this foreword, not just because I am his friend, but because we share a similar story, a similar approach to life, and an absolute thirst for serving others. Kalani Vale is more than a friend. He is one of my mentors and influencers. That is why I started off with the disclaimer. Writing a foreword for a friend is an honor, not just because he walks the walk, but because his walk is authentic and good.

Kalani is making a difference.

This is Kalani’s first book, but it won’t be his last. He already has a few other projects in the works to help make your life better. When the title was disclosed, I intuitively knew it would take root. It seems the self- development landscape is inundated with feminine books and relationship strategies.

Who was talking to the guys? Nobody.

There have been Saturday Night Live skits on guys beating drums and motivational speakers Down by the river, but single dads have been a lonely and unappreciated group. Research into this topic led to many articles on child-support issues, dads abandoning their families, broken promises, and failed marriages. Kalani’s unique background, and his perspective of being an extremely present father and provider make him more than a great example of how to pull this off. His background and challenges also make him an excellent mentor for guys who struggle with the challenges of being a single dad in today’s society.

He almost makes it sound easy.

I know that, regardless of your family situation, if you are a father, you will enjoy reading about how to balance and thrive as a single dad. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to your children. Unleashing your super powers has never been as important than now.

Enjoy.

Introduction

You just never seem to have the time.

But you are a Single Dad Superman.

You are not a new superhero; the title is more like a job description. You have the job, you have your kids, you have the job again, and no time for anything else. You are going nuts. How does one do it? Even Clark Kent had to work, though I wonder if Kal-El (Superman’s real, Kryptonian name) could handle being a single father. How do you juggle work, family, and home, and then find time for yourself? Impossible?

It doesn’t have to be.

I am here to tell you that you can work in the job, the family, and have time for your own full and rich life. In fact, you need to work yourself in or you will implode—financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

What good is that to your family? Do you really want your kids to be asking, Daddy, why are you lying in the corner whimpering like a dog? Not a good image. This state of being overwhelmed is the kryptonite of every Superhero Dad out there.

What about balance? Why not live a balanced life? There are dozens of books that promote life-work balance, but it’s all smoke and mirrors.

Balance is a myth.

If there were balance between you, your kids, your job, your health, your love life, and God, you would be at the gym two hours a day, picking up kids every day after school, and working only one hundred and eighty minutes a day. There is no balance in the amount of time between your superhero duties.

It has nothing to do with time.

It is 100 percent about being present. Being present is the way you access your super powers. You have no fear when you are present; you flow with life, let go of the past, and become strong from the abundance you attract and project. You even begin to have a type of X-ray vision; you find yourself able to see your future with increasing clarity. However, to clarify what I mean by being present, I want to share with you an experience I participated in a few years ago called the Landmark Forum.

The Landmark Forum is a unique teaching organization that helps us see what makes us blind. Fun, exciting, and collaborative, the Landmark Forum is not a lecture, motivational technique, or therapy, but a powerful, accelerated learning experience. It is guided dialogue between the instructor and the participants.

It was not until I took a class at the Landmark Forum that I realized it is not success that makes you happy, but rather happiness that makes you successful. It creates a focus that allows you to do what you thought impossible.

But perhaps more than anything else I learned through participation was what the Landmark Forum taught me about being present. To get a sense for what I mean by this, I’m going to ask you to participate in a short exercise. I want you to set this book down for just a second and close your eyes. If you are not in a quiet space, try to find one. If that is not possible, perhaps come back to this when there is quiet available.

Simply close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly through your nose. As you are doing this, make yourself aware of your body. Get to know the feeling you are experiencing in your extremities, in your core, in your neck and back, and in your head. Notice if there are any pains or discomforts. Continue breathing in and out slowly for a few more seconds.

Then open your eyes. Notice everything around you. Notice the sounds and colors. Notice the smells and the temperature.

This comes very close to what I mean by being present. When you are present there is a focus that you ordinarily may not have because you’re constantly thinking about things. You may be wondering how you are going to perform at work today, or perhaps you are thinking about going to pick up the kids from the babysitter. All of these thoughts are important, no less, but they can serve as distractions. When our minds are preoccupied with other things that are not in our current view, we are not focusing on what is right in front of us. In order to be present in our lives we have to learn to reduce that chatter in our minds and turn our focus back to what is going on right in front of us at any given time. If you are on a date with a woman, you want to be present with her—instead of preoccupied with worries or concerns. When you are with your kids, you want to be present to all the wonderful things they are doing and saying, not thinking about how you are going to make your sales quotas. And, when you are at work, you want to be present at work, not thinking about last night’s outing with the boys.

So, being present is really about living in the present, moment by moment. It is only when we live in the moment that we can truly discover the happiness that lives inside us. It is only then that we can unearth the passion that is just waiting to see the light of day. It is that passion for life that will affect every aspect of your life, if you are so willing to let that happen.

I have built upon that simple idea of being present by adding a few ingredients that will assure you are always living from a place where you can positively affect the lives of your coworkers and clients, your family and offspring, and even your intimate relationships. It is a recipe for success that I like to call the PACT.

Chapter One

The Pact

It took me a few decades of failure, success, and new frustration before I unlocked the code for success that gives any mere mortal the ability to create memories out of moments that will equal a super life.

My PACT System will help you unlock your own set of super powers and give you real X-ray vision for your life. When it comes to the various roles discussed in this book—from God Time to Love Time—you will find that being present in each situation will transform your life into one of superhero status. Learning to flow with your life events and relationships creates a presence that will give you X-ray vision, superhero strength, and the appearance of being able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. If it sounds too fantastic, suspend your skepticism for a while and consider the fact that there are men who have it all. I’m not talking about the celebrities or public figures that project a false sense of having it all together. I’m referring to the men whom most of us have never met: the guy who has kids, and who is single, successful, happy, and peaceful.

How do they do it? I believe they