Sexual Abuse: The Journey of a Broken Woman

By Sandraline Tobin Gareth

*** WARNING: This book is strictly for Adults 18+ ***

Some of the clear memories are from when I was three years old and the fuzzy ones are from when I was a teenager or later.

Bear with me as I tell you about my life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sandraline Tobin Gareth
• Release date: Jan 16, 2015
• ISBN: 9781507017463

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Sandraline Tobin Gareth

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author or publisher except for the use of brief quotations in articles or reviews.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Where Should I Start?

People Pleasing

Fantasies

Conclusion

They told me in the counseling sessions that journaling was the best way to work through issues that were holding a person back in life. So I have been sitting here for what seems like days trying to know where to start with journaling.

I bought one of those notebooks with flowers on the hard cover, wire rings for a spine and blank pages with blue lines. Then I bought a great pen with medium black ink.

I have the tools. I have the story. I even have the words in my head. But I have no idea where to start.

The next bit of advice was to just start writing and let it sort itself out later. However, there is something in my personality that wants to start at the beginning and go on from there.

The problem is, my mind does not remember it chronologically. Things come back in bits and pieces and some memories are vivid while others are foggy and unclear.

I refer to myself as a broken woman. I am broken, fragmented, shattered, with missing pieces. This book is my effort to find all the scattered shattered pieces and try to put myself together again.

This is why I am letting my journal – which is this book – just flow out of my mind and onto the paper. I don’t think that timelines matter as much as the memories.

It is as if my mind has chosen which are the most important parts of my memories and polishes them off and presents them to me.

I am hoping that I will be able to figure out why some memories are crystal clear and others are fuzzy. First, I thought the clear memories were the most recent and the older memories were fuzzed by time.

That is not the case. Some of the clear memories are from when I was three years old and the fuzzy ones are from when I was a teenager or later.

Perhaps when the memory is complete it is clear. But then you get into that whole thing about what makes a complete memory.

Bear with me as I tell you about my life. I will write this out in my journal and then try to shape it into sense as I type it into this book.

About Me

I debated whether to tell you more about who I am before starting along this path of telling you my story. At first, I was not going to give you any idea of me or who I am. Then I realized that was silly.

Since this book is all about my life and me, why not give you a bit of an image of me before we get into my story. Of course, as you will eventually notice, it is difficult for me to reveal myself.

This means that this book is a bit of a dichotomy. I try to hide myself from the world at the same time as I tell you my deepest secrets.

I am Sandraline Tobin Gareth. I was going to say my friends call me Sandy but I really should say my closest acquaintances