The Zac Black Chronicles: You Don't Shoot Fish Do You

By Duncan Stewart

In the second exciting installment of the Zac Black Chronicles, 'You Don't Shoot Fish Do You", Zac Black discovers the truth about his next door neighbor. Not content with making his life a misery, Lana is also terrorizing a parallel reality and that reality the koala bears really need Zac's help. The only problem is koala bears have never even heard of pepperoni!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Duncan Stewart
• Release date: Nov 3, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310076404

Duncan Stewart

Duncan Stewart is a thirty something originally from England and now living in New Zealand. Originally he wanted to do English or Theology at university but instead ended up doing Chemistry, with the result being he doesn’t really know a lot about any of them.Duncan lives with his wife, son and a dog, which would give Cerberus a run for his money, in Christchurch and is currently working hard, some of the time.

Book preview

THE ZAC BLACK CHRONICLES:

YOU DON’T SHOOT FISH DO YOU

BY DUNCAN STEWART

The Zac Black Chronicles: You Don’t Shoot Fish Do You

Published by Duncan Stewart at Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Duncan Stewart

1st Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

"Teach a Tasmanian Devil how to fish and you won’t have a friend for life but you may get all the chips you can eat."

Zac Black

21:19

Outside the Fish and Chip Emporium

Table of Contents

Openings

Temptations

Devils

Preparations

Anger

Preview

About the Author

Openings

Zac Black opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room he found himself in and then Zac Black groaned. The reason why Zac Black groaned could have been one of many, the throbbing, aching feeling that infested his head, as if he had spent the previous evening sat on a disused railway platform sinking bottle after bottle of White Lightening, or it could have been due to the strangeness of the zigzagged lilac and mauve wallpaper that accosted him everywhere he looked, plastered throughout a room he had never seen before and which looked suspiciously like the result of Changing Rooms on Acid. Indeed the groan which emanated from deep within Zac Black’s body could even have been the result of seeing three gigantic koala bears staring at him from the other side of the lilac and mauve zigzagged room. But the real reason a guttural cry of despair projected itself from Zac Black’s mouth, like the eruption of a long dormant volcano, was simply because he was hungry.

Really hungry!

Really, really hungry! In fact instead of concentrating on the myriad of unusual events that assailed his senses, like the monstrous headache, the fully clothed koala bears or even the seventies drug induced décor, Zac’s finely tuned brain found itself focusing upon was the rather alarming realization his highly evolved hunger instinct, which usually woke him up at least three times during the night, for a midnight (then a two and a four o’clock) feast, had failed him for the first time in his life.

Look it’s awake spoke one of the koala bears from the corner of the room. It looks so cute. My Daniel would love to have one as a pet. Do you think they bite?

I wouldn’t worry answered a second koala bear. Look at the size of it. I reckon even my grandmother could outrun that behemoth.

You can talk, Zac blurted out, too shocked to care he was being insulted by overgrown, sentient marsupials.

Of course we can talk replied the first koala bear sounding rather affronted. We’re not some ignorant ape from out of the jungles you know.

And you understand me? Zac asked and smiled as he saw each of the koala bears look at their companions before nodding in reply. So maybe then, one of you furry things can tell me then where I can get a pepperoni pizza?

Pepperoni! What is that, some sort of pepper? Asked the koala bear who had up until this point remained silent.

You’ve never heard of pepperoni? Zac spluttered, astounded and more than a little concerned, not because he was conversing with koala bears but because it seemed they never heard of the finest of all Italian sausages. It’s a spicy pork sausage from Italy. In fact Zac mused it’s the only decent thing that’s ever come out of Italy, unless you’re into aqueducts!

What’s pork?

You’ve never heard of pork? Have I died? Is this hell? Zac groaned as the lilac and mauve zigzags started to permeate into his consciousness. Pork’s the king of meats. Without it we wouldn’t have a fast food industry.

Meat! All of three of the koala bear’s shouted together and Zac had a feeling the conversation was about