Project Life For Men

By Jos Artin

We all want financial freedom, better relationships and more success in our careers, but we somehow end up settling for less-than-ideal results. We end up as passengers in our own lives instead of being in charge of our destinies.

This book is a simple guide with tangible examples and step-by-step plans to take complete control of all the important aspects of life – an all-in-one manual for Life. Financial prosperity, personal fulfillment and professional success come standard. With this book, you can rewrite your destiny!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jos Artin
• Release date: Oct 31, 2014
• ISBN: 9780994657008

Jos Artin

Born in 1967 into the old Apartheid-era in South Africa, Jos was fortunate enough to witness the transition into the free and democratic South Africa of today. Armed with a genuine interest in people and a passion to reach out and make a difference, he was finally pushed to put all his experiences and life-skills into a medium which could reach wider audiences. He was always fascinated with writing and story-telling, and won several competitions in these categories throughout his career.Jos has extensively travelled the world during the ten years he spent as Project Manager. Over time he developed a very unique approach to incorporate the planning & control-mechanisms associated with Project Management, into the complex personal issues we all face in our daily lives. He developed a way to turn even the most complicated emotionally-charged scenarios into clear, simple plans with achievable, quantifiable progress-checks to ensure the best possible chances of success, irrespective of the size or complexity of the specific issue.A series of near-death experiences compelled Jos to put in writing what he has always shared with everyone around him. Those traumatic experiences made him realise how short and precious life was, and how his unique gift was almost lost for ever. Project Life is Jos’s opening salvo in a series of self-improvement guides which are deliberately written to be easy to understand and simple to implement.

Book preview

Project Life for Men

By Jos Artin

Copyright 2014 Jos Artin

Smashwords Edition

This ebook is licensed for your personal use only. This book may not be sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy form your favourite ebook retailer. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One - Project Primary Relationship

Chapter Two - Project Self

Chapter Three - Project Key Relationships

Chapter Four - Project Career

Chapter Five - Project Finances

Other Books in the Project Life Series

Connect with the Author

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Everyone wants success and happiness, yet very few of us know how to define or quantify these ideals, let alone achieve them. What we do know, is that we want more financial freedom, better relationships, and more success in our careers, but somehow we always end up settling for less-than-ideal results. We eventually begin to feel like passengers in our own lives instead of being in charge of our destinies.

I certainly felt this way, and experienced a strong desire to improve my control over all the important aspects of my life. I was not really happy and fulfilled in my relationship of more than two decades, even though I loved my wife more than life itself. I was never very successful in my career, and changed jobs frequently - almost as if I was searching for the magical world where hard work and dedication was acknowledged and rewarded, without having to ask for it. My self-image was not particularly good - in fact, I viewed myself as somewhat of a failure.

It's a bizarre situation for me: I have always been the relationship counsellor, confidante and source of advice in my friendship-circles. Everybody seemed to come to me for help to resolve their personal issues, yet my own situation felt hopeless! I dove into all the self-improvement books I could find, but I ended up more frustrated than ever. I consulted award-winning books published by highly respected and well-educated authors to help me gain an understanding of how I could improve my relationship, career and financial affairs. I was ready for change, but most of these books were in my experience, a total waste of my time and money.

In some cases I needed the help of a dictionary to read the books because the terminology was too unfamiliar to me. Other books were simply too long and cumbersome - a weekend reader like me needed to recap the previous week’s reading before continuing with this week’s section. I felt that some of the other books I read were vague and without real-world references. Examples were missing and the books did not really feel relevant to my situation. Some authors baffled me with their knowledge and expertise, but I don’t spend my hard-earned money to see how clever people are: I spend my money on authors who are focused on speaking my language - who can give me simple, usable information which I can use to make a tangible difference in my life.

At the time, my quest for self-improvement had quite the opposite effect on me: it made me feel dumb and useless. It felt like my inadequacies (the reasons I wanted to improve my situation to start off with), were only reinforced and underlined, and I became depressed about my perceived lack of prospects to have a happy, successful life. It was around this time that I was thrown into the complex world of Project Management. Having been a technical guru up to that point, the company I was employed at needed a Project Manager who understood the technical side of the job extremely well, and I was volunteered for this function.

In a blind panic, as I have zero project management experience, I was transferred to our London offices to manage a massive project, which involved the relocation of a multi-million dollar data centre operation to a new location, without switching it off. That sounds impossible right? A 24/7 system where callers from around the country could get live updates on their favourite sports, competitions and the like, had to be physically moved to a different location without any break in service to the users!

Guess what? I did it: I modularized the entire system by dividing all the necessary components into four equal functioning parts, then moved these portions one at a time until everything was in the new location. Users never even knew that equipment had been switched off for periods of time. I successfully completed that project, which was my first (and definitely the scariest) project ever - the project was scheduled to take a year, but I completed it in nine months - under budget too.

I felt like a million dollars. I eventually discovered something I was good at, something I actually enjoyed! On my last evening in London before I was due to return home to sunny South Africa, I had a moment of clarity which changed my life forever: I clearly had a flair for managing complex projects - I could sift through massive amounts of information, digest and process key requirements, and manage complex procedures to achieve a massive outcome. What was the difference between this experience, and my polar-opposite success-rate at other (far less complex) situations? My approach!

A Project Manager uses a proven, detailed method to achieve a desired outcome - I never had access to any methods or plans (which made sense to me) to use in the other important aspects of my life. I immediately started thinking about how I could use this newly-discovered skill I acquired to help me in the other areas of my life which I was still desperately unhappy with. Over a period of just more than ten years, I developed and implemented these methods into every important aspect of my life, and the difference is indescribable. What you are reading now is the result of a decade's worth of trial and error, analysis and adjustment, perseverance and determination.

When I look around me, I can't help but notice how many people are unhappy in their relationships. Others are trapped in terrible financial situations. Most are dreaming of success, fulfilment and happiness, just like I was. The decision to write this book was an easy one - I simply had to share my methods and the lessons I learnt, to help as many people as I could. But instead of writing just another self-improvement book, I wanted to make 100% sure that my book would be a simple guide with tangible examples and step-by-step plans, which could take readers by the hand and show them how to take complete control of all the important aspects of life – an all-in-one manual for Life.

This book is based on real-life examples which we can identify with, tried-and-tested methods based on actual experiences, and written in everyday language for ease of understanding. The major areas which affect our daily lives are covered in separate sections, and have step-by-step guides which are clear and simple, allowing readers to implement them to maximum benefit. If you are looking for a detailed, guided approach on how to define, plan and achieve everything you desire for yourself and those you care for, this book is for you.

Never feel like a passenger in your own life again. Never feel like you are forced to accept a compromised outcome again. Get ready to re-take complete control of your life and determine your own destiny. When you use the clear plans and methods in this book, you will be more successful, happier and more fulfilled – guaranteed.

This book is assumes that readers have no neurological, physical, emotional or mental health issues. The target audience of this book have organised minds and a sense of emotional stability - loosely referred to as normal mental and psychological functionality. Adverse experiences always inflict some degree of chaos in our minds, and this book provides the tools to regain control of these chaotic influences and deal with them effectively.

To get the most value out of this book, you will need to purchase a separate diary which you can dedicate to the projects in this book, some different coloured pens or highlighters and a note-pad. NB: Be sure to keep your Project Diary private!

Chapter One

Project Primary Relationship

Most people struggle to deal with the maze of problems and stresses of their daily routines and the effects these have on their lives, yet find it much easier to give advice to friends and colleagues. Why is this? The short answer is that they are not emotionally invested in the problems of others, meaning that they are not directly affected by the emotions of the situation; so they have a clearer view of the issue. It is easier for them to get an objective view and assess what actions would be best in the particular situation. As easy as it is to be objective about the issues of other people, we find it much more of a challenge to be objective when faced with our own problems and challenges, and understandably so! It’s so easy to get fixated on the emotions caused by the symptoms we experience - because we can see and feel their impact on a daily basis - that we very often overlook the actual cause.

Very few people I meet have the ability to objectively assess their own personal situations. Even fewer know how to formulate any clear plan to change their current situation, whether it is related to work, their personal lives, relationships, or their finances. Hardly anyone I know understands how to implement and evaluate these plans or even know how to tell when they have failed or succeeded. This book will show you how to assess your situations accurately and objectively, plan desired outcomes clearly, implement and evaluate changes, and ultimately celebrate these aspects of your life.

In relationships, we know that every one of them has its ups and downs. Every couple argues and disagrees from time to time. In any disagreement between partners in a relationship, we know that when we lose our tempers, we lose the fight. The moment we stop thinking clearly and rationally - when emotions take over - we cannot respond logically or effectively to the situation. The end result of an emotionally charged argument like this is usually either a nasty shouting contest, or one of the couple storms out and slams doors. Then there are the long, uncomfortable silences and cold shoulders until the issue is eventually resolved and they kiss and make up.

The consequences (after-effects or fallout) of a fight like this usually include frustration, anger or even resentment in the parties involved. Repeating this process over the space of a few years and it becomes very apparent why so many relationships fail - when the emotion of the moment becomes the highest priority and the original cause of the disagreement gets lost in the exchange. Irrespective of which party was wrong or right, the final result is negative for both sides: no clear outcome is established which satisfies both parties, and the relationship suffers as a result. What exactly triggers these chaotic moments when two people who love each other dearly, lose their sanity and dignity and attempt to hurt the other as much as possible?

To understand why these melt-downs occur (which unfortunately happens far too frequently) we need to look closely at both the external and internal factors at work in our daily lives. Once we understand why we become prone to losing our cool in certain situations, we can avoid the downward spiral normally associated with the bitterness and resentment which follows in its wake. For us to be able to properly analyse our own situations and better understand the causes and effects which created or contributed to these situations, we need to examine a real example which we are not emotionally involved in. This will allow us to objectively look at their issues, frustrations and anger, and investigate the causes. We will look at the relationship of a typical married couple who find themselves in this situation, then have a look at how they used the tools they obtained to analyse and remedy their issues, and the outcome of their efforts:

Peter is a plumber working for a small local company. His wife Suzi is a teacher at a primary school down-town. His son Timmy is aged six and his daughter Audrey just turned eight. At around 3pm he heads off to his last call-out for the day and finds a blocked drain waiting for him. Getting busy with the problem-drain, he soon discovers that the blockage is going to take a little longer to clear than expected – a hard object has lodged itself in the corner-bend of the waste pipe, which runs partially underneath a garden shed. To get to the elbow-bend, he has to unpack the shed, move it out of the way and dig up the pipe. Eventually Peter manages to clear the blockage, replace the pipe, return the garden shed to its original location and repack the contents. The drain pipe is flowing freely again, but it’s after 6pm before he can pack up and go home.

Suzi picked up the kids from their soccer practise. On the way home Timmy is chatting non-stop about his day, and recounts every incident and event in minute detail. She notices that poor Audrey can’t get a word in through Timmy’s avalanche of stories, but she’s a little thankful that she is spared the usual sibling arguments today. Suzi is all too aware that once she gets through with the normal household work like cooking, cleaning and ironing, she still has a bunch of tests to mark, student reports to write and a whole lot of preparation to do for the next day’s lessons. She doesn’t even want to think of the upcoming exams and the late nights this will bring about again. She is also pre-occupied with an incident at the school today – one of her favourite students was caught stealing from another student during break.

Arriving home, Suzi ushers the kids up to their rooms to change out of their school uniforms and have lunch. Preparing their lunch is a mission: the sink is overflowing with last night’s dishes and the kitchen table looks like a hurricane hit it from this morning’s rushed breakfast. With a sigh she clears the table, washes the dishes and mops the floor. Now that the kitchen is tidy, she can get their lunch prepared. Frustrated that she hasn’t been able to tackle her own mountain of work yet, gets the kids started on their homework when they finished their lunch. She then heads off to her study and unpacks the tests, report sheets, and the next day’s preparation subjects on her desk – wondering where to start first on this huge mountain of work.

Before she is half-way through the marking of the tests she notices the time - she must get dinner ready before Peter gets home. The last thing she wants now is another row if dinner is late again. As luck would have it, Peter was delayed and arrives home just as dinner is ready. He is tired from the hard day and very dirty. On top of that, the drive home was a nightmare because he got caught in peak traffic after that last job took so long to complete.

After a peck on the cheek he washes up before sitting down for dinner. He surveys the hastily-prepared meal, but one look at his wife