Be Not Dismayed

By Bob Havey

Cancer!

The very word strikes fear into our hearts. Can we have victory over this disease even when the final result is not what we had hoped? We can! Victory in Jesus! How do we experience this victory? What does it really mean?

Be Not Dismayed: A story of spiritual triumph is the story of my fifteen year old daughter, Erin, and her twenty-two month battle with AML, an extremely aggressive form of leukemia. As a direct result of her illness, Erin and the entire Havey family came to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. It is the story of astounding faith born of profound desperation; a story of the triumph of light over darkness.

It is difficult to find anyone who has not been affected by cancer or some other life-threatening illness. Why a loving God would allow anyone, especially a child, to suffer the horrible effects of a debilitating disease is incomprehensible to most.

To those individuals, Be Not Dismayed: A story of spiritual triumph, offers the promise of hope. It demonstrates the immense magnitude of God's grace, faithfulness and restorative power in the disconsolate face of tragedy, despair and the final enemy - death. It is an authoritative confirmation of Romans 8:28:

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to his purpose."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bob Havey
• Release date: Mar 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310494635

Bob Havey

Bob Havey is a dynamic, charismatic author and conference speaker who vividly portrays the power and practicality of God's life changing word and the monumental depth of His unconditional love, compassion, and faithfulness in a positive, challenging, spiritually stimulating style. On January 22nd, 1994, Bob’s daughter, Erin, who had been battling leukemia for twenty two months, went to be with the Lord she had grown to love so much. In March of that same year, Bob was led to start a Christian newspaper and six months later The Messenger, which was distributed by more than ninety Christian bookstores in all six New England states, made its debut. Bob discovered his gift for touching the lives of others with God's healing power while speaking before a group of two hundred men at a weekend retreat at Pilgrim Pines Conference Center in West Swanzey, New Hampshire several months following Erin's passing. "I was terrified," Bob said. "I didn't know I was going to be asked to speak. But the Lord is faithful. He gave me the words. When I finished I saw tears in the eyes of all those men. I knew then that God could use me; that He could use my pain to help others. I give Him all the glory." This father of three has spent more than 40 years working in the communications in¬dustry, beginning his career in 1969 at The Los Angeles Herald Examiner, in Los Angeles, CA. He is the founder and past-president of both New England Christian Media Ministries, Inc., and the Interdenominational Christian Men’s Network, Inc., a non-profit Christian men’s ministry. Bob has served on the board of directors of two Christian counseling agencies; Hosanna Lighthouse Ministries and Comprehensive Counseling and was ordained for Christian ministry in 1996. He served as co-pastor of The Epistles of Christ Christian Center in Bourne, MA for several years before leaving the pastorate and devoting his time to men's ministry. Bob has appeared on various Christian radio and television programs and has been the keynote speaker for numerous churches and organizations including Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship International. A featured speaker at Ordinary Man - Extraordinary God, the 1998 New England Men’s Conference; Bob shared the speaker’s platform with Promise Keepers founder and CEO, Coach Bill McCartney; the Rev. Dr. A. R. Bernard, Pastor of the 10,000 member New York Christian Life Centre, in Brooklyn, NY; and Dr. Ken R. Canfield of The National Center for Fathering. Many have called this conference, sponsored and produced by Bob and New England Christian Media Ministries, the most dynamic Christian men’s event in the history of New England. Bob has written numerous articles and sermons, which he is in the process of incorporating into a book entitled, Through A Glass Darkly: An Anthology. He is also working on a children’s book, Zoot The Gypsy Cat, and has written more than one-hundred columns that he is currently compiling into book form. Spiritual restoration is Bob’s passion. He has touched audiences all over New England and through this book, Be Not Dismayed: A story of spiritual triumph; he'll touch your audience as well, with the ex¬traordinary power of God's life changing word.

Book preview

1 AN UNEXPECTED CALL

Dark, ominous clouds filled the gloomy New England sky. Although spring was only a few days away, it appeared that old man winter intended to torment us for a while longer.

I sat quietly in my recliner in the living room, reading the evening paper. The smell of cumin, chili and other pungent spices streamed from the kitchen where my wife, Berta, labored lovingly over a Mexican feast of tacos, tostadas, Spanish rice and refried beans.

I had recently returned to my job as an advertising account executive for a local newspaper following a month long battle with pneumonia. It had really knocked me for a loop and I still felt pretty run down. I closed my newspaper, settled back in my chair and started to doze off.

Our twelve year old daughter, Kelly; our youngest child, toiled over a mountain of homework at the dining room table while Erin; our middle child, who had recently celebrated her fifteenth birthday, napped upstairs in her bedroom.

Erin had always been a challenge for us when it came to parenting. She was extremely strong-willed and a textbook social butterfly, believing that school was more a place to meet up with her friends and flirt with boys than it was a place of learning.

She always knew exactly what she wanted and was relentless in its pursuit, consequences aside. This trait, although admirable in its proper context, was often a sticking point for the two of us and I had numerous conversations with her, telling her that although I liked her attitude; it didn’t really cut it when dealing with dad.

In the fall of 1991, much to our delight and surprise, Erin made a remarkable transition when her older brother, Chris, left home for his freshman year at Allegheny College in Northwestern Pennsylvania. She grew markedly more responsible and devoted much more time to her studies.

For some inexplicable reason, things had changed. She still loved to socialize, but she had matured, seemingly overnight. She had become interested in sports and had just completed a rigorous freshman field hockey season and immediately launched herself into a demanding spring track program.

Erin had shown the attributes of a leader since she was a little girl. She had an extraordinarily magnetic personality and had an uncanny knack for bringing out the best in everyone. She had a large, diverse group of friends. If Erin were put in a room with a hundred kids, she’d soon be in front of the group leading them in an activity of some kind.

She had recently complained of feeling physically drained and had slept more than usual for a few days. She survived on a typical, teenage diet of pizza and fast food and maintained a rather hectic schedule, so a little fatigue didn’t seem to be anything unusual or of any great concern.

Just as a precaution, Berta thought it would be wise to take her to the doctor for some routine blood work. Mononucleosis surfaced at the high school on occasion and with Erin’s poor eating habits and frantic daily routine, it seemed best to err on the side of caution.

Berta was able to get a doctor’s appointment for the next morning. She and Erin were ready and out the door before I left for work. The doctor’s office was nearby and Berta planned to drop Erin off at school after her appointment.

Berta called me after leaving the doctor’s office to let me know Erin had blood work done and the nurse had told her that the lab would contact us with the test results within a couple of days. We laughed at that prospect. The lab never calls. It just seems to be their way.

I hung up the phone, grabbed my briefcase and headed downstairs to my basement office to make some phone calls. I had a long day ahead of me and a lot of things on my mind, not the least of which was Erin’s wellbeing. I was very protective of all my children and a consummate worrier, so the prospect that Erin may have some sort of health issue was troublesome. But I had to put it out of my head. I had to concentrate. I had to get some work done.

I worked until late afternoon and closed up shop for the day. Berta, Erin and Kelly had made plans to get together to do some clothes shopping when the girls got out of school so, knowing that Berta would be exhausted when she got home; I ordered pizza for dinner.

About forty-five minutes later, the doorbell rang. It was the pizza delivery boy. I paid him, grabbed the pizza and was just about to close the door when Berta and the girls pulled into the driveway.

I got pizza guys, I said. Let’s eat! I’m starving!

Thanks, Berta replied as she grabbed the pizza and took it into the kitchen. I don’t have the energy to cook tonight. Erin’s not eating. She’s tired.

Erin plopped down on the couch. She looked worn out. Are you okay, honey? I asked.

Yup, she replied. Track was brutal today. I just want to go to bed.

Okay, I said, putting my arm around her and giving her a big hug. Have a good sleep. We’ll see you later on.

Berta, Kelly and I sat down at the kitchen table and ate our dinner with little conversation. Kelly finished, excused herself and grabbed her school books off the kitchen counter. I have a ton of homework, she said.

Okay, Berta replied. We’ll see you before you go up to bed.

Berta glanced up from across the table. Did you hear from the doctor by any chance? She asked. There was an uneasy tenor to her voice.

No. Not a word, I replied. You didn’t really think we would, did you?

I suppose not, she chuckled. I’ll clean up here. You go relax. You look beat.

Let me give you some help, I offered.

No, Berta insisted. Go!

I went into the living room, flopped down in my recliner, took my shoes off and pushed the chair back as far as it would go. Within a minute I was sound asleep.

The shrill ring of the telephone shook me from my slumber. I jumped up and fumbled for the phone on the end table next to my chair. Hello, I mumbled, still half asleep.

Hi. Mr. Havey? The caller inquired.

Speaking, I replied.

Hi. It’s Dr. Pleasants calling. Am I interrupting anything?

Not at all, I said, easing the recliner into an upright position.

I have Erin’s lab work back, he said, and, he paused briefly. There’s something curious going on with her blood.

I fell back into my chair. What do you mean?

Some of her blood cells look a bit unusual, Dr. Pleasants responded. I’m not sure what’s going on but…

What do you think it is? I interrupted.

I can’t say for sure, he said and without running some more extensive tests I can’t be certain, but…

I sat straight up in my chair, my hand squeezing the phone tightly.

Dr. Pleasants cleared his throat. …there’s a possibility this could be leukemia. Can you get to Rhode Island Hospital first thing tomorrow morning?

I slumped down in my chair. Leukemia? I gasped.

We need to do some more tests, Dr. Pleasants advised. I’ll make the necessary arrangements. You should probably plan to spend two or three days at the hospital. Can you be there by nine thirty tomorrow?

I rose slowly from my chair, stunned. Yeah, we’ll be there, I said. But are you sure…..

Don’t worry Mr. Havey, Dr. Pleasants interrupted. We’ll talk tomorrow.

I stood silently, my heart pounding in my chest, staring out the window into the night. Don’t worry? I thought. My daughter may have cancer and I’m not supposed to worry?

There was an uneasy, protracted silence. Are you okay? Dr. Pleasants asked.

Yuh. Yuh, I’m okay. Thanks, I said. I hung up the phone and glanced out into the kitchen. Berta stood silently in the doorway, a concerned, puzzled look on her face. Who was that? she asked.

It was Dr. Pleasants, I said, my voice quivering.

Berta walked over and sat on the arm of my chair. What’s wrong! she asked. I fell back into my chair and buried my head in my hands.

Bob, what’s wrong? she insisted.

I jumped up, flew down the stairs to my office and collapsed into the chair behind my desk. Berta hurried down the stairs behind me. What did Dr. Pleasants tell you? she insisted. What did he say?

Everything will be okay, I said. A solitary tear ran down my cheek. Erin needs to have some more tests done, that’s all. She’ll be fine.

What else did he say? Berta pleaded, convinced I was holding something back.

I drew a deep breath. There are some abnormalities in her blood, I said. Dr. Pleasants said….

Said what? Berta insisted. What did he say?

I choked back tears as I rose slowly from behind my desk, walked across the room to where Berta stood and put my arms around her. It might be leukemia, I said. Berta collapsed into my arms. She’ll be okay, Bert, I reassured her. She’ll be okay.

No! No! she sobbed. It can’t be! It must be a mistake! Why? Why?

She’ll be fine, I said, wiping the tears from Berta’s face. They don’t know anything for sure. They just want to do some more testing, that’s all.

Berta leaned back against my desk; her eyes red and puffy; her face wrought with tears. What are we going to tell Erin? she cried. How can this be happening, Bob? What are we going to do?

I don’t know, I said, I don’t know. I’ll think of something. I put my arms around Berta and kissed her on the cheek. Are you okay? I asked. She nodded. Good, I said. I’m going to go upstairs to talk to Erin.

Berta got up from the desk and slid into my chair. What are you going to tell her? She asked.

You just sit here for a while, I replied. It’ll be fine. I climbed the stairs, went through the kitchen and into the dining room where Kelly was still working relentlessly on her homework. I slithered past her, walked quietly up the staircase to Erin’s room and knocked on her door.

Come on in, she said.

I pushed the door open a crack and popped my head in. Erin was stretched out on her bed, reading a magazine.

Hi, dad, she smiled. She sat up slowly. She looked exhausted.

Hi, honey, I replied. How are you feeling?

Kinda tired, she said. I heard the phone a while ago. Did the lab call about my blood test?

That was Dr. Pleasants, I said. He wants you to get some more tests done. We have to go to Rhode Island Hospital in the morning.

I have to go to the hospital? she whimpered.

We might be there for a couple of days, I said.

She dropped her magazine on the floor. A couple of days!

I sat down on the edge of her bed and put my hand gently on her shoulder to comfort her. She pulled away from me.

Why do I have to stay there? She demanded. I’m going to miss track practice.

Dr. Pleasants will explain everything to us tomorrow, honey, don’t worry, I assured her. I picked up the magazine and set it on Erin’s night stand. Do you want to come downstairs for a while? I asked.

No! she snapped sharply.

Okay, I said. Mom will be up in a few minutes. I kissed her on the forehead and pulled the blankets up around her shoulders. She was cold - pale.

I slipped quietly out of the room and headed back downstairs to the living room where Berta and Kelly sat together on the couch. Kelly looked worried. I sat down next to her and mustered up all the strength I had. Erin has to go to the hospital for a few days for some tests, I said.

Why? Kelly asked.

They need to do some blood tests that they can’t do at the clinic, that’s all, I assured her, doing my best to mask my concern. Do you want to go with us?

I don’t think so, Kelly responded, apparently satisfied with my explanation.

We all went to bed early. Berta and I popped into Erin’s room to check on her. She was sound asleep. We stood there watching her just like we had done so many times before when she was just a baby; watching closely to be sure she was breathing. Some things don’t change. Regardless of their age, our children are still