The World's Worst Joke Book
By TONY NASH
()
About this ebook
So you want to be a stand-up comedian? Well, here it is, folks. With the jokes you find in this little book you can be guaranteed far more rotten eggs than accolades. You might get away with it with the family, but not in public!
TONY NASH
Tony Nash is the author of over thirty detective, historical and war novels. He began his career as a navigator in the Royal Air Force, later re-training at Bletchley Park to become an electronic spy, intercepting Russian and East German agent transmissions, during which time he studied many languages and achieved a BA Honours Degree from London University. Diverse occupations followed: Head of Modern Languages in a large comprehensive school, ocean yacht skipper, deep sea fisher, fly tyer, antique dealer, bespoke furniture maker, restorer and French polisher, professional deer stalker and creative writer.
Read more from Tony Nash
Unseemly Exposure Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings'Y' oh 'Y' Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHardrada's Hoard Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHell and High Water Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMurder on Tiptoes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMurder By Proy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Most Capricious Whim Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTripled Exposure Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMurder On The High 'C' Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Handful Of Salt Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNo Tears For Tomorrow Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Iago Factor Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Thursday Syndrome Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Devil Deals Death Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeyond Another Curtain Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Makepeace Manifesto Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Handful of Courage Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPanic Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Last Laugh Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBled and Breakfast Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlood Lines Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMurder on the Chess Board Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlockbuster Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Key to the Castle Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Sinister Side of the Moon Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to The World's Worst Joke Book
Related ebooks
All Hallows' Eve Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSnow White Lies: Twisted Fairytale Confessions Collection Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGet Out: The Complete Annotated Screenplay Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTales from the Brothers Grimm and the Sisters Weird Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Parents Guide to Fandoms Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Doll Maker Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsScary Folktales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove: A Celebration of One of the Four Basic Guilt Groups Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Ignore the Camera Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMythical Creatures Of The Forest: An Interactive Adventure Story Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCeltic Mythology Explained for Kids (Mysteries & Myths for Kids Book 4) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Set of Bad Kitties Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHaunted Attic: Dolls & Toy Soldiers Come to Life: Scary Chills, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Rotten Stepbrother Ruined Beauty and the Beast Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Grumpy Guide to Life: Observations by Grumpy Cat Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow Sherlock Holmes Lived: Victorian Customs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWe Wish You a Poopy Christmas: Fudgy the Poopman's Collection of Christmas Classics Made Crappy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe New Blue Fairy Book Part 2: Fairy Tales 7 to 12 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI Like Poop Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMermaids Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Curses, Inc. and Other Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Enter: Ten Tales for Tweens - Fantastic Short Stories for Middle Grade Readers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAlice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the L Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5E'steem: Ascension Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsVery Grimm Fairy Tales Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Be a Genie in Six Easy Steps Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Vampire Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBroken: A Paranormal Romance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jellaby Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5E'steem: Faerie Tale Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Humor & Satire For You
Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,320 Funniest Quotes: The Most Hilarious Quips and One-Liners from allgreatquotes.com Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sex Hacks: Over 100 Tricks, Shortcuts, and Secrets to Set Your Sex Life on Fire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/51,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Great Book of Riddles: 250 Magnificent Riddles, Puzzles and Brain Teasers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dating You / Hating You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Related categories
Reviews for The World's Worst Joke Book
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The World's Worst Joke Book - TONY NASH
THE WORLD’S WORST JOKE BOOK
TONY NASH
Copyright Tony Nash © 2014
Published by Tony Nash at Smashwords
Other works by this author:
The DCI Tony Dyce thrillers:
Murder by Proxy
Murder on the Back Burner
Murder on the Chess Board
Murder on the High ‘C’
Murder on Tiptoes
The John Hunter trilogy:
Carve Up
Single to Infinity
The Most Unkindest Cut
The Devil Deals Death – (A Black Magic Thriller)
Tripled Exposure
The Makepeace Manifesto
The Last Laugh
Or A Handful of Dust
So you want to be a stand-up comedian, huh? These routines will guarantee that you get far more rotten eggs than accolades. Have fun.
I met my friend Ollie on the way here. He’s a great lad, but a bit short on the uptake. I can’t say he’s thick, but an empty rain barrel has a higher IQ.
He’s so bloody mean too. If he does get married he’ll go on his honeymoon alone.
He’s never been any good with the other sex, either, and he’s been trying to lose his virginity for years. He took an alarm clock to bed with him because someone told him it was fast.
He’s always got girls running through his mind. Well – they daren’t walk!
Recently I saw him with a girl I knew well. I told him, ‘You can’t go with that girl – she’s cheap.’
‘She’s not!’
‘She is,’ I told him. ‘When I had her I paid a pound and got ninety-five pence change.
You do know she suffers from bulimia, don’t you?’
‘Well, that’s not so bad.’
‘It is if it’s spelt with two Ls!’
She had three meals a day – three down, three up.
Thin? She made him a necktie out of one of her old dresses, then made a dress