Love Honor Celebrate: A Mother's Journey of Transition

By Deb Carlin Polhill

"Love ~ Honor ~ Celebrate: A Mother's Journey of Transition" is one mother's story and first-hand account of the most profound loss of her life and how she chose to handle it. It is a story of remarkable faith and tremendous inspiration. Deb reveals how the human spirit, via an open heart, can face a seemingly insurmountable devastation, yet continue to live, love and grow.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 15, 2013
• ISBN: 9781619274945

Book preview

Cait’s Final Journey

By Brad Polhill

When she got to the train station she didn’t expect to see her Grandpa (Deb’s father), there working but she was glad to see him since it was such a hectic day and he always made her feel alright.

He greeted her with a smile and told her it was supposed to snow but the train is extra quiet when it snows because the sounds of the metal wheels would be muffled. He assured her it would be a great ride, kissed her cheek and sent her on her way. She felt more at ease now and knew it was going to be a great trip.

It was just like her Grandpa said, a beautiful ride through the country, but she was anxious to get to her destination. When she got off the train she didn’t have to look long to find her ride home from the train station. Poppy, Bob’s father, was always there when she needed a ride, and she threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug. She said she missed him so much, and that great smile of his appeared on his face, and all the concern he had about her getting there instantly disappeared.

On the ride home she told him all about her new little niece, Emma, and how proud she was of her sister. She said that Mom and Dad were so thankful to have another Emma in their life, as that was her Dad’s Mother’s name. She just knew this Emma would turn out as great as the first one. Before long, they were pulling into the driveway, and Poppy told her how proud he was of her, and tears welled up in his eyes.

She pushed open the door to the Colonial-style house and smelled the wonderful aroma of cookies baking in the oven. She stepped into the kitchen and gave Mimi (nickname for Bob’s Mom, Emma) the biggest overdue hug a grandchild could ever give. She felt safe and warm and was so thankful to see them all again.

The Road

You’re in a place that is new

Fear gets the best of you

Before all of your dreams come true

The road will lead you home ...

When your soul and mind are tossed

You’re searchin’ and feelin’ lost

There’s a place beyond any cost

The road will lead you home ...

At times life is awfully rough

When the goin’ is just too tough

And daydreamin’ is not enough

The road will lead you home ...

Once you travel to the other side

Over the rainbow, beyond the tide

No longer will you roam

For now, you’re truly home!

Never forget everything that exists was once light!

—Cait Chivonne, April 28, 2005

This book is dedicated to the beautiful memory and eternal spirit of Cait Chivonne, my youngest darling daughter, who left this world far too soon, but in doing so, taught me the true meaning of life itself.

This book was written to share my personal experiences and perspectives.

It is not intended to preach, but rather to document the profound journey upon which I was placed.

You may notice the book is a bit disjointed, as is the process of transition itself. You may notice that the segments ~ Love, Honor, Celebrate ~ are often comprised of content that would appropriately fit into any segment.

Special thanks and all my love to Bob, Lauren, Brendan, Emma Adele, and of course, Cait Chivonne.

Many thanks and much love to all my dear family and treasured friends. Special ‘shout out’ to Lisa.

Many thanks to:

Frank Corrado, Kelsey Korhummel, Alison Begany, Bill Powers of Powers Public Relations, Liz Mitchell Marques and Kacey Morabito for their professional contributions.

Preface

They say the best place to begin ... is at the beginning ...

My story begins with an ending, which led to a new beginning, and ultimately an infinite journey. For it seems I have come to find life is, in fact, cyclical ~ not linear.

We are taught to understand life in terms of a linear time-line; such as in this basic illustration:

However, what we generally understand as a timeline ~ a linear graph representing the order of events ~ which we assume leads to an ending ~ should actually be represented by a circle ... where beginnings and endings exist within a continuum and where there is most certainly no ending:

Where events and times simply occur ... where the before becomes the after, and so on ...

There is music in everything...

The very sound the earth and universe emit at the very moment of our birth sets the tone and beat of our very lives.

The resonance that emanates, announcing our arrival into the grand scheme, radiates throughout the universe heralding the fact we are now a small part of the greater whole.

We begin our lives at the inception of this sound, this vibration, and we live our lives in sync with this rhythm.

As we go along, day after day, we move in unison with the beat that was set at the very start ... the beat that carries us throughout our journey.

But alas, the day does come when our hearts no longer beat in concert with the tempo and cadence of the planet, but rather, are called to join in the ultimate pulse of the cosmos.

Oh happy day, when our souls are called to rejoin the energy at large and resound in the very hum that is life itself . . .for all eternity.

Love

A life Well Lived

It’s not about the ending

It’s all about each page

Not about how much time we’re spending

Or the number of our age

Life is measured in our smiles

In hard work and our good deeds

It is tallied by our kindness

And our tending people’s needs

We don’t control the length of time

We spend upon this earth

But by God we deem our actions

From the moment of our birth

So when a life is finished

Look back and measure well

The beauty of the stories

A life well lived will tell

And as you shed your tears

For the loneliness you feel

Remember that a life well lived

Yields memories that will heal

Be thankful for the time you had

It was a gift from up above

Ever grateful, though profoundly sad

You’re blessed, for you have loved!

My Story

We all experience loss. The loss of a loved one can be, and often is, a devastating and emotionally crippling event. It is also an intensely personal process that each person perceives and handles uniquely.

In my case, the loss of my precious youngest daughter, Cait Chivonne, just 28 years old, was certainly the devastation of my lifetime and the most painful experience I have ever had to bear. And, just as I always told my children, I have found it is certainly true ... experience is not what happens to us, but rather how we choose to handle what happens to us.

This is the story of how I, along with my family, chose to handle the most devastating and painful experience of our lives ... the loss of our