The Soft Side of Success

By Patty Purpur de Vries

What are soft skills and why are they important? Those who cultivate and use their soft skills:
• Have an irresistible appeal
• Radiate positive energy
• Are passionate about what they do
• Inspire others to want to work with them
• Easily attract mentors, partners, loyal customers, and stellar employees
• Have a contagious enthusiasm for their work and for life
• Turn obstacles into opportunities
• Rise in seemingly effortless ways to success
People just naturally want to be around individuals who have these qualities.
Soft skills are not often taught in business school. It comes from the “soft” side, from personal skills and attributes that can make the difference between mediocrity and extraordinary success.
This book contains the five steps that will help you develop your soft skills and grow your personal appeal, so you can create the results you desire – in your work and in every area of your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Patty Purpur de Vries
• Release date: Sep 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781476169705

Patty Purpur de Vries

Patty Purpur de Vries, MS was born and raised in North Dakota. She received a full-athletic scholarship to attend Stanford, graduating in 1989 with a BA in Psychology. Patty was a 9-time NCAA All-American (Shot Put and Discus) and competed at the 1988 Olympic Trials. In 1995, she founded TimeOut Services, Inc.. Patty and her team were instrumental in designing the original wellness programs for Google, Cisco, Yahoo!, Safeway and KLA-Tencor. In 2009, Patty sold the corporate wellness division, and trademarked Community BootCamp© program, to Plus One of New York (now Optum). Patty's awards include: The Key to the City of Grand Forks, North Dakota, Business Journal Top Women in Business, and Top 50 Influential Women of Silicon Valley. Today, Patty supports the wellness initiatives across the Stanford Enterprise, which includes: Stanford University, Stanford Health Care, Stanford Children’s Health and Stanford Linear Accelerator (SLAC).Patty’s passion for teaching and inspiring others is evident in her dynamic workshops, coaching, and keynote addresses. As a national-class athlete, she learned the power of disciplined action and mindset, and she has a unique ability to share her knowledge and experience in a way that inspires and empowers others.

Book preview

The Soft Side

of Success™

5 Steps to the S Factor

for Stellar Success in

Business and in Life

By Patty Purpur

Copyright 2011 Patty Purpur

TimeOut Services

Campbell, California

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition License Notes:

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

The Soft Side of Success

© 2011 by Patty Purpur

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, contact the publisher, TimeOut

Services, mailing address P.O. Box 189, Campbell, CA 95009. www.timeoutservices.com

Editing and book design by Kathy McHale http://www.mchalecreative.com

This book is also available in print at most online retailers.

This book is dedicated with love to Greg

and our children, Donte, Ana, Ian and Colin

– for the lessons they have taught me

and the many I have yet to learn –

and to my parents as they celebrate

their 50th wedding anniversary.

The S Factor

What is the S factor? Those who have it:

• Have an irresistible appeal

• Radiate positive energy

• Are passionate about what they do

• Inspire others to want to work with them

• Easily attract mentors, partners, loyal customers, and stellar employees

• Have a contagious enthusiasm for their work and for life

• Turn obstacles into opportunities

• Rise in seemingly effortless ways to success

People just naturally want to be around individuals who have these qualities.

The S factor is not taught in business school. It comes from the soft side, from personal skills and attributes that can make the difference between mediocrity and extraordinary success.

This book contains the five steps that will help you develop your soft skills and grow your S appeal, so you can create the results you desire – in your work and in ever y area of your life.

Table of Contents

Introduction

The Missing Piece

The Litmus Test

Not Your Father’s Business Book

What You Need to Bring to the Table

Playing Full Out

The Real Bottom Line

Getting Started

Journaling

Gratitude

Visualization

Synergy

Action Items

Online Resources

Chapter Resources

Step 1: Knowing

Take Inventory

Know What You Want

Examine Your Core Beliefs

Assess Your Strengths and Limitations

Take Stock of Your Resources

Now Do Something

Action Items

Online Resources

Chapter Resources

Values List

Step 2: Embracing.

Accept Yourself

Be Grateful for Everything You Have

Forgive Yourself and Others

Honor Your Unique Gifts

Choose Love Over Fear

Embrace It or Change It

Action Items

Online Resources

Chapter Resources

Step 3: Nurturing

The Six Areas of Your Life

Balance

Nurture Yourself First

Deciding to Change

Adjust Your Core Beliefs

Resources

Nurture Your Health

Nurture Your Finances

Nurture Your Career

Nurture Your Relationships

Nurture Your Environment

Nurture Your Spirit

Step 4: Inspiring

Write Your Own Script

Dream Big and Aim High

Just Imagine

Find Ways to Inspire Yourself

Inspire Others

Pursue Your Passion and Purpose

Action Items

Resources

Step 5: Taking Action

Take ACTION

A: Activate Your Imagination

C: Collect Your Resources

T: Tackle Your Fears

I: Invest in Tomorrow

O: Own the Outcome

N: Never Give Up

Going Forward

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Introduction

I can’t believe she did that!

They didn’t say it out loud, but from their perplexed looks, I could tell that’s what they were thinking.

What had I done? Robbed a bank? Stolen a car? Cut to the front in the morning Starbucks line?

No, my offense in their eyes was that, without an MBA or even any business classes and without following all the rules, I started with nothing and built a multimillion-dollar company. Then I sold two divisions of it later for a handsome sum to a national corporation.

Why weren’t they more positive about my achievement? The problem was that some of the professionals and intellectuals in my life, who have a solid business background or advanced degrees, hadn’t been able to achieve the same level of success. They just didn’t understand how I was able to do it.

Was it just a fluke or dumb luck? After experiencing first-hand how hard I had worked, I knew that wasn’t it. But I got curious, and this led me to try to understand my unorthodox success – to analyze why I was able to achieve so much without following, and even at times contradicting, the business textbook.

What I discovered was that I was successful for other reasons. My success came from employing some softer approaches and skills.

The Missing Piece

That’s what inspired me to write this book. I knew other people could benefit from using the skills I’ve applied. Some of these I’ve learned the hard way, through trial and error. Some I’ve come upon through good fortune. And many just come naturally to me – they’re part of my nature. These abilities have been key to my success. I also found as a business owner that the people who were most successful in my company also had many of these traits. But you won’t learn these skills in business school.

Something is missing from our business curriculum. Many employers today struggle when they hire candidates with impressive resumes and later realize the employees who looked so promising on paper are not getting along with other people and are not performing up to expectations or succeeding as everyone hoped. The employers are dissatisfied, and the employees are often miserable in their jobs.

I want to fill in the missing pieces, the valuable skills they don’t teach in business school, and speed you on your own path to success. If I was able to start a company and have this much success without an advanced degree and without an MBA, you can do it, too – with or without that degree. I want to inspire you to get out there and achieve more than you ever believed possible.

I hope that by sharing my story and my secrets of success, you will come to know that success is possible for you, too.

The Litmus Test

Could it be that you are:

• not as successful as you desire to be

• stalled in your job, career, or business and not moving ahead the way you want

• feeling miserable in your job

• dissatisfied with your current situation and thinking there must be more

• serious about moving ahead and willing to roll up your sleeves and put in the effort to transform your life?

If you answered yes to any of these, this book is for you.

You could be a woman, you could be a man, you could be young or old – in short you could be anyone who wants to be more successful and realizes that something needs to change for that to happen. No matter who you are, the thing that needs to change is you. You are the only raw material you have to work with to transform your career and life. And, used as directed, this book can help you do just that.

Not Your Father’s Business Book

There are many strictly business-oriented books out there that will tell you how to craft your resume, write a business plan, or set up a corporation. But solid business skills alone are not enough to ensure success. Your credentials may get you an inter view, but they won’t guarantee you will get the job or prosper in business. This is a different kind of business success book. This book goes beyond the resume and beyond the MBA.

I’m going to present a valuable set of softer skills and approaches that will propel you in powerful ways to success. This is the soft side that enabled me to succeed. I will share with you how I did it, what it takes to start a business or be successful in your career, to be creative, to believe in yourself, and to move forward – everything that I believe contributed to my success.

Some of the ideas I present might seem to have nothing to do with business. You might find yourself thinking, What has this got to do with my career? I can guarantee, from my own experience, that it does apply. I have learned that you can’t separate your career from the rest of your life. Business school may tell you it’s essential to compartmentalize your life, to focus tightly on your business, and leave the rest of your life outside the office door. But your personal life and state of mind have a powerful effect on your ability to perform and to achieve your business or career goals.

What You Need to Bring to the Table

I believe anyone can learn the attitudes, behaviors, and skills to approach success from the soft side. It requires willingness on your part: willingness to be receptive to new ideas, to look deep within yourself, and to take action.

The ideas in this book may resonate with you, or they may seem foreign, especially in a business context. Either way, if what you have been doing has not produced the results you want in your life, it’s time to try something new, even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone. It’s time to expand your vision of what is possible for you. If you remain open to the ideas and actions in this book, you will find they release powerful abilities within yourself that can lead to amazing results.

Playing Full Out

This is not just an intellectual exercise – it’s a process, and you need to participate fully. At the end of each section there are specific actions for you to take, and you will need to take them in order to reach the payoffs. The best ideas in the world are worthless unless you’re willing to apply them. You can read this book, understand the ideas, be clear on what’s important, and know what you’re supposed to do, but unless you act on it, nothing will ever come of it. At each step along the way, you must take some action to achieve the success you want.

In short, you actually have to do it. And the more fully you enter into the process, the better your results will be.

The Real Bottom Line

Ultimately, the Soft Side of Success – the S factor – is not about money, it’s not about the balance sheet, and it’s not about material goods. It’s about taking the best care of yourself and of others. You will find that if you apply the soft side in business, it will raise you to levels of success that focusing on the numbers alone will never enable you to reach.

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." – Henry David Thoreau

Getting Started

Let’s begin with an over view of the route you’ll be taking to success. Picture a pyramid with five levels:

The levels in the pyramid represent the five steps you will be going through: Knowing, Embracing, Nurturing, Inspiring, and Taking Action.

Before you set out on your journey, I want to equip you with a few key tools that you’ll need along the way: journaling, gratitude, and visualization. These three practices will be invaluable in helping you reach your goals.

Journaling

Journaling is a powerful process you will use in every step. It should become an ongoing practice for you.

Putting your thoughts on paper allows you to gain clarity and put things in perspective. When you allow your mind to act like a monkey, swinging