My Blind Spot; What I Hear Is Funnier Than What You See

By John Jackshaw

True to John Jackshaw’s convoluted form, ”My Blind Spot; What I Hear Is Funnier than What You See” is his first published volume, while being the second in a book series. John’s favorite position is the juxtaposition, and MY BLIND SPOT (MBS) is that sweet spot of outrageous humor, juxtapositioned somewhere between Garrison Keillor, Dave Berry, and Detroit.

“My Blind Spot” is a logical progression from John Jackshaw’s illogical broadcasting career, which ultimately transmitted him to success on the live standup comedy stage. Standup demands a flurry of punch lines, rapid-fire laughs confined to a finite measure of time. MBS is Mr. Jackshaw’s vehicle (there’s the Detroit connection.) that drives you beyond the punch, with true story telling and opinion liberated from time constraints and translated from stage to page. He makes the journey as much fun as getting to the destination.

From his analysis of historical Western culture, in the form of professional Rodeo, that pits man against beast in a sport of extreme high action, which is second only to its inspired high fashion, to John’s complaining about homesickness, because he is home, MBS runs, or trips, the gauntlet.

At one point he chronicles the groundbreaking achievements of broadcasting’s “golden age”, but later reveals contrasting balance, recounting personal experiences in the trenches of his early radio career. There’s a reason that radio should be heard and not seen, and it’s ugly. No less ugly is John’s railing over the current state of Health Maintenance disorganization.
Health promotion is an unintended byproduct of contrasting his youthful smoking to that of his daughter.

The ever-changing landscape of legal and illegal American multiculturalism meets multi-level marketing. They mirror each other, in decreasing societal and personal standards, chasing greed the old fashioned way.

Geography and genealogy collide as John Jackshaw exposes the Klannish culture of East Texas, and how his regressive relatives are a pain in the red-neck.

Faith is the sometimes unsought answer to a simple escape from the real world, as we are shown how the inner workings of church camp will make you pray.

Indeed, laughter does strike again and again and again, in the same place; John Jackshaw’s “My Blind Spot.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Jackshaw
• Release date: Aug 24, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466035904

John Jackshaw

Growing up, John Jackshaw says he was influenced by such greats as George Carlin, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld, and Rocky and Bullwinkel. Growing up, was in and of itself quite an accomplishment for John, being born sixteen-weeks premature. "I was the first partial birth delivery," John says. After losing his sight while obtaining a Broadcast Communications degree, at the University of Houston, he pursued a successful radio career. His unconventional on-air antics set him apart from his peers, and served as a basis for his founding of Paradise Productions, a creative audio production company. http://www.paradise-pro.com However, taking his radical vision of the world, out of the studio and on to the stage has been the most energizing and rewarding experience of all. John took it to the stage, for the first time, on New Year's Eve of 1995. Friends and audiences persuaded him to transform a pleasurable past time to a promising career, And now he is on his way, as only one of two blind touring comedians in the country. Everything on the Third Rock, and beyond, is fair (or unfair) game for John's peculiar perspective. Whether it is a deranged serial hypnotist, Noah versus Cher, airline antagonistics, his unique slant on the news of the day, or outrageous ramblings about being blind, John finds humor in all of it. With a charismatic stage presence, and original clean material, John has made a name for himself as a top-notch prime time television quality comedian. He can be edgy enough for comedy clubs, while adhering to his own clean style that makes him perfect for television, radio, corporate, and fund raising events. Live audience interaction, from a variety of venues, has given John a firm grasp on the pulse of America’s funny bone, which he has skillfully translated into two volumes of radically hilarious essays entitled “My Blind Spot,”& "20-20 Dreamer" which adds depth and invision to many of the topics that John explores on stage, where live audiences may not be afforded all the details as John rockets from punch-line to punch-line, meeting the needs of an ever increasing ADHD world. John Jackshaw’s first writing opportunities were realized in High School and college newspapers. Regardless of the assignment, his opinion and wit usually landed the piece on the editorial page. At the University of Houston, studying Radio-TV communications, John found himself writing comedy for profit. He wrote, and ultimately starred in, a half hour Christmas comedy special, that was selected by the R-TV department as its’ annual seasonal television production, which aired on a local commercial station, as well as the university’s PBS affiliate. More recently John’s perspective on Houston’s annual rodeo celebration was featured in Houston City Life magazine. John continues to master the standup comedy stage, and is a contributing writer for a new television situation comedy pilot project; “Life in the Frying Pan,” in which John plays the part of a blind bar-tender and comedy club owner. John's commentary, on the adventures and obstacles of life, proves that laughter does strike twice in the same place.

Book preview

My Blind Spot

By John Jackshaw

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2011 John Jackshaw

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table Of Contents

I About the Author

1 DON'T SMOKE THIS

2 SMELLS LIKE HOME

3 THE DOG NEXT DOOR

4 FACT, FUNCTION, OR FASHION

5 MORE WE CANNOT KNOW

6 SILENCE IS GOLDEN

7 RODEOBALL

8 LONG LOST FRIEND

9 CAN'T GET ENOUGH IRON

10 AMERICAN-AMERICANS

11 HMO, NO

12 SOMETHING ELSE TO GIVE AWAY

13 SUGAR & SPICE

14 CHURCH CAMP WILL MAKE YOU PRAY

15 IMITATION EDUCATION ADMINISTRATION

16 ANOTHER FISH STORY

17 OUT OF MY ELEMENT

18 DON'T GO EAST YOUNG MAN

19 OH HAPPY DAY

20 BLIND LIKE ME

21 INVASION OF THE SCRUBBLY BUBBLIES

22 THE CHALLENGE TO CHALLENGE

23 TALES FROM THE BARK SIDE

24 EMAIL, HAD E-NOUGH

25 FINANCIAL CAVITIES

26 MR. MANANA

27 PILGRIMS REGRESS

28 PIPEDREAMS ARE FOR PLUMBERS

29 FRIEND'S FOOD FAUX PAS

30 THE VACUUM, VACUUM

31 THE RESTAU-RANT

32 SURGERY IN THE FAST LANE

33 BEING SERVICED BY THE IRS

34 RADIO IS JUST UGLY TV

35 GREEN EGGS & SPAM

36 IT'S BEAN FUN

37 TAKING A POWDER FROM STRESS

38 THE SLIPPERY SLOPE

39 LET YOUR GRAY BE GONE

40 THE AGONY OF DEFEET

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Growing up, John Jackshaw says he was influenced by such greats as George Carlin, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld, and Rocky and Bullwinkel. Growing up, was

in and of itself quite an accomplishment for John, being born sixteen-weeks premature. I was the first partial birth delivery, John says.

After losing his sight while obtaining a Broadcast Communications degree, at the University of Houston, he pursued a successful radio career. His unconventional

on-air antics set him apart from his peers, and served as a basis for his founding of Paradise Productions, a creative audio production company.

http://www.paradise-pro.com

However, taking his radical vision of the world, out of the studio and on to the stage has been the most energizing and rewarding experience of all. John took it to the stage, for the first time, on New Year's Eve of 1995. Friends and audiences persuaded him to transform a pleasurable past time to a promising career, And now he is on his way, as only one of two blind touring comedians in the country.

Everything on the Third Rock, and beyond, is fair (or unfair) game for John's peculiar perspective. Whether it is a deranged serial hypnotist, Noah versus Cher,

airline antagonistics, his unique slant on the news of the day, or outrageous ramblings about being blind, John finds humor in all of it.

With a charismatic stage presence, and original clean material, John has made a name for himself as a top-notch prime time television quality comedian.

He can be edgy enough for comedy clubs, while adhering to his own clean style that makes him perfect for television, radio, corporate, and fund raising

events.

Live audience interaction, from comedy clubs to corporate conventions, has given John a firm grasp on the pulse of America’s funny bone, which he has skillfully translated into a volume of radically hilarious essays entitled My Blind Spot, which adds depth and invision to many of the topics that John explores on stage, where live audiences may not be afforded all the details as John rockets from punch-line to punch-line, meeting the needs of an ever increasing ADHD world.

John Jackshaw’s first writing opportunities were realized in High School and college newspapers. Regardless of the assignment, his opinion and wit usually landed the piece on the editorial page.

At the University of Houston, studying Radio-TV communications, John found himself writing comedy for profit. He wrote, and ultimately starred in, a half hour Christmas comedy special, that was selected by the R-TV department as its’ annual seasonal television production, which aired on a local commercial station, as well as the university’s PBS affiliate.

More recently John’s perspective on Houston’s annual rodeo celebration was featured in Houston City Life magazine.

John continues to master the standup comedy stage, and is a contributing writer for a new television situation comedy pilot project; Life in the Frying Pan, in which John plays the part of a blind bar-tender and comedy club owner.

John's commentary, on the adventures and obstacles of life, proves that laughter does strike twice in the same place.

http://johnjackshaw.com

DON’T SMOKE THIS

Have you seen those flavored Camel cigarettes? They come in two flavors; chocolate mint and mandarin orange! I like a product that gives you choices. Smoke those for 20 years, and you can die of cancer, or diabetes.

The only reason that I know these exist is that I found them hidden in my 13 year-old daughter’s room. The irony of this whole episode is that she’s started smoking at the same age that I quit. The reason I stopped smoking had nothing to do with smoking. It had everything to do with what I had to do to get rid of that cigarette breath smell, so my parents wouldn’t find out that I was doing what they were doing. I quit smoking because of the taste of original (brownish yellow) Listerine. Have you ever noticed, with Listerine, even if you didn’t have bad breath, after gargling that stuff, you feel like you did?

Did you know that in the 1930s there were Listerine Cigarettes? Now, that’s branding with a symbiotic purpose. Smoking the Listerine cigarette makes you need to gargle it’s arguably, equally vile tasting cousin. How’s that for a dysfunctional product family?

Did you know that if Coca-Cola is poured on battery terminals, it will dissolve the corrosion and clean it right off? If Coke tastes good and cleans great, I wondered what type of job Listerine might do. It was amazing how it immaculately eliminated all the corroded material before dissolving the battery, and eating a hole in the driveway. Pretty funny? When the EPA guys arrived in their HazMat suits, they weren’t laughing. Luckily, they cleaned it up before the Listerine contaminated the ground water supply.

The truth is, I never smoked cigarettes. I was a kid. I couldn’t afford them. In my neighborhood we all smoked these long reed looking things that grew on a tree in my neighbor’s back yard. I quit smoking them when I found out what they were. They were beans. I had been smoking beans, and I was hooked. I knew I was hooked when at Thanksgiving dinner I tried to roll the green bean casserole. Ever try to roll a lima bean? I got so desperate, I actually ate them.

Today, quitting smoking has been made more achievable through programs, patches, and highly sugar-laden, caffeinated products. Some of these well-intended products have had unintended consequences. Just the other day a diabetic friend was told by his doctor to take up smoking to curb his Nicorette habit.

SMELLS LIKE HOME

I grew up in a very polluted suburb of Houston. It is a town surrounded by at least 400 Petrochemical plants. Its name is Pasadena.

This little subtropolis is southeast of Houston. The way you know you’ve arrived there has nothing to do with landmarks or city limit signs. You know you’re there when your nose hair curls up in the fetal position and you can’t breathe, or you don’t want to.

You know how many cities have their own moniker or nickname? Denver is the "Mile