Destined For Love: A Step by Step Guide to Attracting Your Soul Mate

By Michelle Casto

For the serious seeker of "true love." This comprehensive guide will educate you about applying the law of attraction and the law of alignment to magnetize your soul mate to you in lightspeed. Written in Michelle's trademark self-coaching style....you will apply what you need to learn and attract the love of your life. Order this book if you are seeking to find that special someone and want to get ready for right and real love. Chock full of inspirational quotes, journaling assignments, and self awareness exercises. This is the only book you will ever need to read on the subject of romantic love and dating. You deserve to have the love that you desire and this book will walk with you step by step on your journey to meeting "the One."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michelle Casto
• Release date: Apr 19, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458150264

Michelle Casto

An advocate for ‘everyday enlightenment’ and full soul expression, Michelle Casto, “The Destiny Diva,” is one of the most effective spiritual and life transformation coaches in the world. Michelle expertly blends human psychology, spirituality, and the science of success into a powerful formula for personal transformation. Her proven Destiny Success Process (Awake-Shift-Shine-Succeed) empowers people to grow beyond victim mentality and shows them how to be conscious creators of their life. Michelle helps people let go of stress and struggle by shifting their consciousness while applying real-world tools for knowing their purpose and living their destiny. For the past 15 years, Michelle’s life experiences have included much joy, love, and passion, but also many setbacks, disappointments, accidents, and other “school of hard knocks” experiences. It was during these trials & tribulations that she discovered the power of being undefended, open, and receptive to the light within. She soon came to realize that she possessed an innate drive to reach her highest potential and has since dedicated herself to personal growth and the personal growth of others. Complimenting her quest to teach and lead, Michelle also chose to work with the best and brightest mentors in the field of personal transformation. She gained access to a powerful inner-circle of wisdom keepers where she received extraordinary additional training to advance her own natural gifts of healing and intuition. Michelle is headquartered in central Texas and has a global clientele . She has authored The Destiny Discovery: Find Your Soul's Path to Success, Career Ecstasy: Do Work You Love & Get Paid What You Are Worth, Destined For Love: A Step by Step Guide to Attracting Your Soul Mate, Get Smart! About Modern Stress Management, Life Transformation 101, Writing with the Divine, and numerous other titles (30 and counting). Her most popular program is Soul Purpose Accelerator, a multi-media training product that walks the client through her A6 Purpose process. She holds a Master’s degree in Adult Education from the University of South Carolina, a Bachelor’s degree in Interpersonal Communications from Ohio University, and has invested countless hours towards the study of human potential, spirituality, and psychology. Michelle has become well known for her “potent magic” that transforms people into knowing & honoring who they are at a very deep level. Clients consistently report radical changes in their thinking and ways of living that are nothing short of miraculous. http://www.BrightLightCoach.com http://www.LiveYourDivineDestiny.com

Book preview

Destined For Love:

A Step by Step Guide to

Attracting Your Soul Mate

By Michelle L. Casto

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2011 Michelle L. Casto

Everyday Enlightenment Publishing

San Antonio, Texas

USA

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Originally published as Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships 2002

CONTENTS

From the Author…

How to Use This Book…

Chapter One: Get Smart! Decision-Making

Chapter Two: Raise Your Self Awareness

Chapter Three: Re-Program Yourself

Chapter Four: Get in Touch With Your Spirit

Chapter Five: Get Ready for Love

Chapter Six: Get Real

Chapter Seven: Define Your Love

Chapter Eight: Love in the 21st Century

Chapter Nine: Relationship Killers

Chapter Ten: Communication is the Key

Chapter Eleven: The Stages of a Romantic Relationship

Chapter Twelve: The Relationship Avoidance Stage

Chapter Thirteen: The Meeting Stage

Chapter Fourteen: The Dating Stage

Chapter Fifteen: The Breaking Up Stage

Chapter Sixteen: The Establishing Exclusivity Stage

Chapter Seventeen: The Commitment Stage

Chapter Eighteen: The Keeping the Love You Find Stage

Chapter Nineteen: Live in Love

Sample Internet relationship websites

About the Author

For Further Reading

This book is warmly dedicated to all of the men and women who desire to find right and real love. It is my hope that through the use of the Get Smart! decision-making process you will raise your self awareness, practice active reflection, and trust your intuition—and as a result will achieve all of your romantic aspirations.

"Of all the people you will know in a lifetime,

You are the only one you will never leave or lose.

To the questions in your life, you are the only answer.

To the problems in your life, you are the only solution."

---Unknown

From The Author

Have you ever felt like Sherwood Anderson, the great American writer who in 1919 said, I am a lover and have not found my thing to love? You, along with a million others, have experienced the human emotion of frustration from having love to share but no one to give it to who will appreciate and deserve it. You have also probably given your love to the wrong people and ended up feeling lonely and even more frustrated. Like you, I have felt these things, but finally, I looked at my romantic relationships as learning opportunities. I also made a conscious decision to take away what I needed to learn from each and every relationship. I have put my experiences and knowledge to work in the form of Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships—Your Personal Guide to Finding Right and Real Love. You will notice that I did not say "my personal guide to right and real love." That is because part of the Get Smart! philosophy is that you have the capacity to make smarter relationship decisions. You just need to learn how!

One of my life purposes is to facilitate self-awareness and teach decision-making to others, which is how the Get Smart! idea evolved from a random thought to a workshop, to an interactive LearningBook. Unlike other self-help relationship books, you will not find a magic pill that holds all the answers to your questions. In fact, after reading and working through this book, you may have more questions than ever, which believe it or not, will help your decision-making skills. Because as the saying goes, The one who questions never loses his way.

The Get Smart! approach to modern romantic love is individually designed and defined by you. With the help of Get Smart! you will decide for yourself what you need from a romantic relationship. Self-awareness, active reflection, and intuitive guidance are the key components of smart decision-making.

This book has been designed to be a self-discovery tool. It includes numerous activities and journal assignments to help you learn about yourself. By deciding today that you want to Get Smart! you have decided to live in awareness and become empowered to make relationship choices that will bring you the most fulfillment.

Because I have learned to listen to my head as well as my heart, I have made smart relationship choices and want to share Get Smart! with you. Through my research, I have learned that there are thousands of worthwhile, single people out there with so much to offer, who cannot seem to find another quality person to share themselves with. They too, made the not-so-smart decision of giving their love to the wrong person, only to end up unhappy and unfulfilled. This is because they choose to buy into outdated romantic myths instead of choosing to live in awareness of the current reality. It is my belief that much of this misery can be avoided by simply applying a smarter approach to your life mate search.

Because our romantic partners often are not sought out, researched, or even given much conscious thought, people tend to fall into relationships based on little self or partner awareness. Even after finding someone, we often leave it up to fate to make things work out. This doesn’t make a whole lot of practical sense, does it?

The current divorce rate of 51% or more in America speaks volumes about the durability of today’s modern marriage. As a society, we really cannot afford these costly mistakes—especially when they can be avoided. And you, as an individual, cannot afford to be passive in your approach to love. Indeed, you need to become better informed about who and what is out there in the relationship market. You also need to become an active participant in creating your relationship destiny by utilizing an effective decision-making process.

Being proactive enables you to avoid costly, painful mistakes. Prevention is the best medicine for heartache. Playing it smart means you avoid getting involved in toxic relationships because you spot the problems in the beginning. Living in awareness will help you make decisions on a more intuitive level, a level that will guide you to a higher love.

One of the myths that exist today is that all you need is love, which is true enough if you can actually find it. But you cannot make love out of nothing, which is what many of us do in our romantic relationships. What often happens is that people project their idealistic images of love onto the other person, and when the illusion disappears, they are left feeling disappointed.

Everyone needs love, but we also need many other things as living, breathing, thinking, and feeling human beings. We need oxygen, food, water, exercise, intellectual stimulation, emotional stimulation, friendship, fun, romance, and much more to live happily ever after. In other words, real relationships need more than just blind luck in order to survive. Real love requires people who are self-aware, who have a direction in which they are heading; and the energy, effort, and time essential to fully developing a relationship to its fullest potential. It requires an investment from both partners, so that it will endure even in the hard times.

Smart people know that before you can experience real love you must first undergo a thorough self-assessment. This book will help you to do some intense soul searching, which is necessary to prepare you for a meaningful relationship. In fact, the first half of the book is focused on how to become prepared for love.

How can you find right and real love? By developing inner guidance, a love-map if you will. Intuition is the internal faculty that humans possess that provides direction. Intuition will lead you to the kind of love you desire and deserve, but this requires a strong belief that you possess a Higher Self that knows what is best for you.

How do you develop your intuition? Your first step will be to use this book to learn about yourself. In order to see results, I ask that you read this book with a willingness to Get Smart! and a desire to make positive changes. The journal assignments are a journey to your inner knowing. Success requires that you set aside your personal beliefs and begin to perceive relationships on a more realistic and intuitive level. I believe that after reading and working with this book, you will begin to see an increase in positive and uplifting events. This will be a direct result from your ability to Get Smart! by allowing your Higher Self to make your choices, which will likely increase your chances of meeting the Life Mate of your dreams.

To Your Greatest Love,

Michelle L. Casto

How to Use This Book

"To put one’s thoughts into actions is

the most difficult thing in the world."

—Johann Von Goethe

Dear Reader:

This is not your typical self-help book. You will not come away with the answers about romantic love. Because as you probably have already figured out, there are no easy answers to some of life’s harder questions, such as, How do I attract and find the right person? However, I can assure you that you will have quite a few revelations about your own behavior and patterns. What you do with that information is entirely up to you!

I’m not going to give you unfounded, free advice on how to live your life. Rather, Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships is designed to help empower and educate you to find your own inner truth. This book will teach you how to make smart decisions by knowing yourself, what kind of Life Mate you desire, and how to get the kind of love you deserve. I encourage you to become actively involved in your own learning process by completing the journal assignments and applying the principles in Get Smart! to your unique situation.

I also encourage you to use this LearningBook as your personal guide, a resource that you can refer to again, if needed. Using this book in conjunction with the Get Smart! Journal or your own journal will enable you to make decisions the ‘smart’ way. Reading, reflecting, and writing will provide a framework from which to bring about positive changes in your love life. Getting Smart! means becoming aware of how you think and feel about love, and changing your thoughts and feelings to make them more realistic. This will turn around your not-so-smart love habits, and then you will be able to make smarter decisions---which will naturally draw your true Life Mate to you.

My ultimate wish is that you will gain a new and enlightened perspective about what you are seeking from a modern romantic relationship, and in so doing, will accomplish your wildest dreams. As a result, I hope you will become inspired to share what you learn with a friend or partner.

To be an effective learner about modern love, you will need the following:

1) An open mind and heart

2) A willingness to analyze yourself and your current or potential Life Mate

3) A readiness to change your love life for the better

4) A journal and your favorite pen

Let’s get you started on the path to right and real love…

Chapter One

Get Smart! Decision-Making

"There is an art of which everyone

should be a master—the art of reflection.

If you are not a thinking human,

to what are you human at all."

---Samuel Coleridge

Get Smart! Decision-Making

Because you are reading this book, I would expect that you are open to making smarter decisions in your romantic relationships. And truly, the best way to bring about change is to change your attitude and the way you think about things. The Get Smart! decision-making approach to romantic love includes raising your self-awareness, utilizing active reflection, listening to your intuitive guidance, and then making a decision. Throughout this book, you will be raising your awareness. It is important to know that if at anytime you feel lost or confused, you must go back to the initial step of understanding yourself, because the person who truly knows himself is the person most capable of making smart decisions.

We’ve all heard of people who use half a brain when making decisions, or those who make a half-hearted attempt at love. This book was written to remind you that you need to use your whole brain and your whole heart when making important decisions. The fact that we were given these special gifts is proof enough that we have the capability of getting smarter about love and romance.

In the modern world, there are many different ways of loving---not everyone wants or needs the same things from another person or relationship. Everyone has their own life time-table. Perhaps you are not meant to be married before the age of forty or even have children. Just because all your friends are married does not mean that you should want or need the same kind of relationship. Realize that you are exactly where you need to be at this present moment. Know that modern love is changing to keep up with society, and know that there are many different kinds of love, not all of which may work for you. Instead of trying to fit into a square peg, discover your unique pattern of loving. Believe in the spirit of you!

We usually say that other people make good couples because they seem to complement one another. They seem to go together well, like puzzle pieces fitting neatly together. Sometimes, couples may act like one another or say similar things. They may describe the other person as making them feel complete or whole. That is because they balance and capitalize on each other’s positive traits. They are unified in direction and romantic purpose. It is this sense of wholeness that all humans seek to find.

As humans we want to be wanted, we need to be needed. And we love to be loved. It is human nature to want to share ourselves with someone else, to give to them, to love them. And so when what we desire is met with resistance or failure, we understandably become upset, angry, and disappointed. Because we are human, we are bound to make mistakes in life and love. But that is how we learn. The key is to unlearn negative ways of loving. If you have learned the wrong way to love, you do not have to love the wrong way. Absolutely not! In fact, you can choose to love the right way, the smart way, the real way. Stop blaming your childhood, past relationships, or the oppression of society and develop the courage to take responsibility for yourself.

To Get Smart! is to raise your consciousness and in so doing change your perception of life and love. It is also about learning from past mistakes. It is important to avoid the wrong type of people, because when we are with the wrong person, we learn the wrong way to love, waste precious time and energy, and become disillusioned. Because most of us have an innate survival instinct, we work hard at making the relationship work. We deny our thoughts and feelings that tell us that it is not real. We want to believe that this time, I will make it work, no matter what. And so we try and we try, never stopping to consider that maybe what we are trying to accomplish is not worth accomplishing at all. Maybe what we should be working on is ourselves—becoming the best person that we can be, so that when the right person does come along, we are ready and willing to give it our best. Maybe what we should be doing is developing something to contribute to the relationship, and saving ourselves for someone worth investing in.

A major factor in modern romantic love is that unlike other kinds of love it asks for wholeness from its participants. In order to find and keep romantic relationships, we are faced with the challenge of the choice. Whereas with family or friend love, people accept us as is. Modern romantic love asks us to love ourselves, live holistic lives, and have our own identities, interests, and ideas. When these are fully developed and secure, then we can begin to share ourselves with another person.

The Get Smart! equation for love is to have two whole, fully aware people begin a relationship for the right reasons. It is imperative to know who you are, what your purpose is, who you want to be with, how you want to love, and where you want the relationship to go. Investigate all this before making yourself available to the dating scene.

Too often people have no awareness of who they are, what they have to offer, and why someone else would want to be with them. To find out, they seek out people (perfect strangers no less) to help them figure it out. What happens is this: The other person is already secure with him/herself and does not want or probably have time to spend on assisting the other person find themselves. People want to be with people who have it together, who are operating from their highest potential, and who are giving back to the world, not someone clueless, aimless, and selfish.

This is why the Self and Life Mate Assessment part of this book is so critical. It will help you to figure all that out and more. You will be able to re-acquaint yourself with yourself, discover your kind of life partner, and make a plan for developing the right and real love that you deserve.

Journal Assignment 1:

Draw what your love-line looks like. Think about the first time you felt romantic love, to the many loves you may have experienced, up until the present moment. What does it look like visually? What patterns do you see? How do you feel about your love-line?

Active Reflection

The process of preparing yourself for love, choosing a life mate, and developing a committed romantic relationship is complex and often confusing. In order to make well thought-out, smart decisions, it is helpful to engage in active reflection. To be active means to focus energy towards an activity, and to reflect is to ponder/meditate. Active reflection is to invest energy toward your thought process, which will enable you to tap into your intuition. It is really about consciously thinking about what you do before you actually do it. Through active reflection, a process central to the Get Smart! approach, you can more accurately interpret what is going on in your love life, which will lead to smarter choices.

As is true with all processes, when new information becomes available, perspectives