Door-to-Door

By Jude Parker

In the spirit of Paul and the early apostles, Josh and his sister Christal spend an entire Sunday walking through a quiet neighborhood, hoping they can inspire people to believe in Jesus through their door-to-door evangelism.

But in their well-meaning efforts to save people from the burning cauldron of hell, the religious proselytizers are soon testing the depths of their own beliefs when they try to indoctrinate a clever exhibitionist, a charming sex addict, a well-educated atheist, a romantic agnostic, two lesbians in love, a witty serial killer, and other "infidels."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Campfire Publishing
• Release date: Apr 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458118356

Jude Parker

Jude Parker is a playwright, sculpture, and theater set designer who divides time between homes in Copenhagen and southern California.

Book preview

Door-to-Door

by

Jude Parker

Copyright 2010 Jude Parker

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogues are the product of the authors' imaginations and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Some dialogue and text derives from the works of Madalyn Murray O-Hair and D.M. Bennett.

*****

Door-To-Door

Josh, a clean, self-assured 19 year old man, dressed in khaki pants and a blue button down shirt, carrying a bible, walks with purpose and confidence along side Christal, a somewhat shy and quiet, but proper 18 year old girl. They stop in the middle of the street.

Josh turns to her and says, We'll each take a side of the street. We'll meet up in about an hour.

Okay, Christal quietly replies.

Josh looks at her, smiles, squeezes his bible tight and says, God is with us.

Christal forces a smile and she manages to reply, I know, but she doesn't sound too sure.

Josh and Christal separate and walk to opposite ends of the street and towards separate houses.

The X-Rated Bible

Josh approaches a porch, and takes a few steps towards the front door. He waits a moment and then knocks. The front door opens and Donna, a Beautiful lady with elegant facial features, opens the door. We see her from the chest up, but based on the sparkle in her eyes and the young man's reactions, it is clear that she is completely naked. The young man is absolutely speechless.

Yes? Donna asks.

Josh is speechless. She looks him over and sees his bible. Um ... yes. I want to ... talk to you about .... God.

Her eyebrows go up slightly. Oh? Well, I'm in a bit of a rush so come on in. Do share.

She turns from the door, leaving it open for Bible Boy who cautiously enters while looking around. The house is attractively furnished. Bible Boy looks around and sees a couch. Donna turns and motions for him to sit down. She walks across the room and grabs a bottle wine and two glasses. She places one of the glasses in front of Bible Boy who has already sat down. She sits in a chair directly across from Bible Boy.

Look, obviously this is an issue for you, she begins, adding, "so let's address it right away, okay? I am naked. Woo-hoo! It’s obvious you’re a religious whacko. Don’t tell me you’re like those ugly and sexually repressed men who hated women who wrote the bible.

Bible Boy is taken aback. He grips his bible tight. This is a good book, ma'am.

Confused lines cross her forehead and her lips slightly tighten. Ma'am? Her eyes narrow. How old are you?

Nineteen, he immediately answers.

Donna smiles and says, Look it. I'm not much older than you. She looks at him intently. Do you have a sister?

Josh answers, Yes. Actually ... two sisters.

Older or younger?

One older and the other younger.

Donna leans back and asks, And the older one .... do you call her 'ma'am?'

Josh immediately replies, No ma'am ... no.

She leans forward, looks into his eyes and says, Good. Don't call me that either. She looks at his bible and says, So ... this is how you spend your time, huh? She looks back into his eyes. Don't you have a girlfriend?

Josh nods his head as if that was a silly question to ask. No.

Donna smiles slightly. Really? So ... what are you looking for in a gal?

He thinks for a moment, though he already knows his answer. Well, for starters ... she'd have to be saved.

Interesting, she says, interested. You know what I always wondered .... did your Christ have a girlfriend?

Josh tells her, He was pure ... Ma'am.

Donna's eyes light up. Pure? Ooooh! That sounds like a challenge.

Josh looks at the door, wondering if he should leave.

Tell me something, Donna begins. Your Christ has been in heaven for over 2,000 years now. Do you think he'd ever had a girlfriend? Do you think Jesus ever became a daddy? I know I'm freaking you out, but I'm serious about this. Are there condoms in heaven or does J.C. cum inside of girls? And if so, can he get them pregnant? Is his sperm more potent than mortal men? Does he have super sperm?

Have you been drinking? Josh inquires.

Donna lets out a slight laugh. Nah! I'm just thinking out loud. Asking questions. Don't you ever have any questions about religion, bible boy? Or do you just accept everything they tell you? Back to getting laid .... is Jesus more popular in heaven than Elvis? Does he have groupies who wait backstage for him when he steps down from a day at the throne? Does Jesus eat pussy?

Josh stands to go. Donna approaches him. She touches his shoulders and turns him around. He can't help but stare at her body.

You don't really want to go.

I am here to spread the good word of God ... not to ...

Donna takes a step forward. So spread the word, Bible Boy. I'll let you. But conversations go two ways you know. You don't really expect me to sit here like some statue, do you? I can talk. I've got a brain, despite what that bible teaches you.

Donna locks the door and turns the alarm on. Josh watches this nervously.

The bible respects women, Josh says as if he memorized saying that, and then adds, Jesus respected women.

Her head nods, acknowledging what he said. Did you know that only five percent of Americans go to church ... and usually just on holidays or Sundays? Meanwhile, the porn industry is a multibillion dollar business. So that means more people prefer watching girls on their knees, taking it in the butt, screaming, Oh, God!' than are on their knees, praying to ... your God.

That's not true, Josh quickly says.

Sure it is, she tells him. At least porn stars aren't