Monsieur Gourmand's funeral

By The Steve

When Monsieur Gourmand dies, his family comes to mourn...and eat....and eat...and eat.

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Steve
• Release date: Feb 10, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458082787

The Steve

I write because the voices tell me to. If I don't, a million insects will eat my brain! I am comfortable writing in almost any genre.

Book preview

Monsieur Gourmand's funeral

a short film written by The Steve

copyright 2011

Smashwords Edition

Location: Old Southern French rural estate

Characters:

Monsieur Gourmand:

80 years old, very much dead, very fat.

Madame Gourmand:

The widow, 70 years old, slim, dignified

Father Ormond:

60 year old priest, bit self-indulgent, likes to dip into the wine

Michelle:

57 year old, oldest daughter of the deceased. Dominant, neurotic, attractive

She has timid husband, and one son.

Harold:

Michelle’s timid husband.

Jean-Luc:

55 years old, eldest son of the deceased. Soldier, single, strict, in control

Jean-Paul:

45-48 years old, second son. Banker, not quite as big as his father but getting there.

Constantly eating, jovial, no problems.

Monique:

(Jean Paul’s wife) a 45-47-year-old, tired, but still strong woman. She is nice, used to be

pretty, drinks a little bit. They took 3 of their 5 children along to the funeral. (boys aged

12, 10 and 8)

Epi:

42 years old, youngest child. Stereotypical attractive French jet set type. Long black hair,

cynical. Long cigarette holder. Drinks a lot.

Brother of the widow:

75, senile, world traveler.

The lady in waiting:

68 years old, nosy. Has been with deceased’s family since teen age years. No longer does

any actual work.

The 2 cooks:

45 year old, both female (lesbians) very chatty, main source of informative dialogue of

the film. They are quite tall, well built, nice, energetic. Originally from

Belgium/Holland. both look homey

Serving girl:

25 years old, big breasts. A BAD waitress but nice to look at.

The mayor:

55 years old, former revolutionary. Clings to his radical communist beliefs even now.

VERY small, almost midget sized but not quite.

The gardener and his wife:

40-50 years old. Timid, shy, don’t like crowds. There because widow likes them and they

have great affection for the deceased.

Cousins of the deceased:

an odd assortment of bizarre characters.

De Gaulle the dog:

Constantly begging for food, tries to hang out in the kitchen as much as possible. Thin,

wiry, black.