All It Takes Is...Forgiveness

By Marie Harper

Continuation of All It Takes Is... series. Book 1: One Night should be read prior to Book 2: Forgiveness for the reader to fully understand the story line and characters.

Forgiveness picks up after shortly Ally and Kevin's tumultuous wedding. More secrets are revealed and more pain inflicted as Ally and Kevin Brown deal with some very real and very painful issues - pushy in-law, life-threatening illness, blended family, and a long-distance relationship. Read Forgiveness to see if they can tackle their new obstacles to achieve their Happily Ever After or do they just walk away from each other determined to achieve their dreams while living separate lives?

Plus, readers get a sneak peak of Kylie's story, All It Takes Is...Trust.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marie Harper
• Release date: Nov 3, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311461834

Marie Harper

Writing has always been a passion for me but before the onset of independent publishing, I doubted ever seeing this dream fulfilled. As an introvert, the daunting task of publishing left me confused and intimidated, so I thank Smashwords Publishing wholeheartedly. With a few titles completed and published with more on the way, I feel a flush of pride for the lives I have created on paper, and I hope you'll enjoy them just as much.On an personal note, I am the mother of three boys, a wife, and an elementary school teacher. My hands are always full and busy especially when wrangling my children's schedules during sport seasons. I am a cowbell-ringing, football-lax-basketball loving mom. My husband and I have been together since high school; without his support and encouragement, I wouldn't be able to write a sentence let alone novels. He effectively runs interference for me when my boys are hungry or schoolwork calls. He helps me find a balance that consistently eludes me.When my hands aren't overflowing with paraphernalia, my mind overflows with thoughts, ideas, and characters aching to be shared. I love being a mom and teacher, yet the fulfillment I receive from writing a story gives me as much joy as watching my boys grow.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Ally sat on a gray chenille couch in the cozy doctor’s office softly rubbing her rounded belly. Almost seven months pregnant, she had time to think, time to discuss, time to digest all of the revelations she uncovered on her wedding day. Time had dulled some of the sharp and painful edges of Kevin’s indiscretion only to leave her with more questions and uncertainties.

Massaging soothing circles on her belly, Ally drifted into a relaxed state, sinking deeper into the tufted cushions. The soothing shade of taupe coloring the therapist’s walls and the clean, citrus scent filled her nose with a wash of sunshine and healing. The hum of voices and the steady thrumming of the white noise machine lulled her into a calm, restful condition. Her eyes became heavy with the exhaustion of pregnancy only to be nudged alert.

Ally, her name rang through her ears in a soothing yet firm tone. Ally, did you hear what I asked?

Her eyes clouded with a bone-deep ache to close them, she turned her attention back to Dr. Mitchell. He was a smallish man with salt-and-pepper hair, thick, black-rimmed glasses, and an affinity for all things involving bicycles. His walls were decorated with prints and photographs of bicycles and his desk covered in many two-wheeled knick-knacks. He was a peculiar man but Ally liked him. He was the only therapist they visited in Houston that was not immediately enamored with Kevin and his football background.

Al, are you alright? Kevin asked, concern filtering into his eyes.

Ally has had a difficult pregnancy - constant fatigue, never-ending nausea with the endless threat of vomiting, as well as a few hospital admissions for dehydration - exacerbated by the fact that she was currently marred knee-deep in an emotional limbo over their marriage. Ally shook the cobwebs from her mind and responded to Dr. Mitchell.

I’m sorry doctor; I just haven’t been sleeping well. I am rather exhausted and that white noise machine is doing wonders. I think I’ll be making a pit-stop on my way home to buy one. Where did you get that?

The therapist’s concern etched across his face with his down-turned mouth and drawn eyebrows. His icy blue eyes pierced her through his bushy gray brows. Tell me, Ally…what has been preventing you from sleeping? You know it is not good for you or the baby.

Ally sighed slumping into the cushions only to recoil when she felt Kevin’s hand against her thigh. He registered the rejection immediately and moved his hand back to his lap. Ally struggled with how to answer the question. She knew exactly why sleep avoided her, but how can she share the reasons without hurting Kevin more. He has beaten himself up the entire time they have been married. She didn’t want to continually hurt him, but lately, she has not been doing anything but. Kevin took her anger and her fury willingly. He knew all of this was his fault and accepted his role of whipping boy completely.

Kevin looked at her and waited. He suspected why she couldn’t sleep. Her dreams were always vivid and her mind’s way of making sense of the day’s events. Many a night, they would share her dreams when she would sit straight up in bed scaring the shit out of him, or when he would shake her awake when her moans or pleas awoken him. Kevin suspected what her dreams were about but she would never confirm. Her standard reply was, Don’t worry about it or I don’t remember and it only solidified his belief of the subject-matter. It was about him, his countless mistakes, and most likely Ella.

Ally’s dreams after he told her about the one-night stand were painful and graphic; she would awaken in a cool sheen of sweat with tears streaking down her cheeks. Eventually, by proving himself to Ally over a period of months, the dreams started again. Since finding out about the pregnancy and his son, she has not had one peaceful night’s sleep. The thought of her slumber being negatively affected again in her tender state made him wretch.

Ally hesitated, not wanting to voice the reason for her insomnia, but Kevin took the choice out of her hands. She’s dreaming about me. She hasn’t admitted it but I am sure it has something to do with my cheating and my son.

Ally quickly turned her face to the side to study Kevin’s. His dark brown eyes were blank and pained. He reached his hand toward her knee needing to touch a part of her, any part. He needed to feel that she was still here with him and not just a ghost sharing a home with him. He wanted his wife the way she should be - loving, open, and lively. He wanted his Ally back. She has been missing since their wedding day. He was left with a cold, blank replacement. His bubbly, hot-headed, unpredictable woman no longer existed, and he was the reason for the existence of the shell in front of him.

Al, just tell him, babe. You will not hurt my feelings; you do not need to protect me. We have to be honest - good, bad, and ugly - otherwise, we will never make it. He softly stroked her long dark mane. Please baby, tell him what you are dreaming about.

Allison, the doctor repeated, Allison? He waited.

The baby started thumping against her belly. The baby wanted her to talk as well. The baby wanted to have a good night’s sleep and a full belly. Ally’s appetite had been affected as well but she kept that from Kevin. Two sets of eyes focused on her and a steady thrum of kicks in her belly, forced her to come clean. She took a deep breath as tears leaked from her eyes. She swiped violently at them, embarrassed at showing weakness. She took another deep breath and blurted out, I cannot stop thinking about it. About the affair, about the baby, about you raising a baby with her, about you deciding that I am too much work and eventually leaving me. Ragged breathes escaped her lips, and her red-rimmed eyes flashed away from Kevin. She stared at Dr. Mitchell’s orthopedic brown loafers and continued. It is all I think about. Every waking moment…it only gets worse at night, and because of the baby, I cannot drink myself into oblivion. I have to suffer through the truth. The truth that I was never enough for you, I deluded myself by thinking we could make it through this. I should have never come to Houston after our honeymoon. I have been unfair to you and to me. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I think I need a break.

Her words pierced his heart. A dull pain began to throb at the back of his head making his thoughts race and pound inside his skull. She didn’t want me anymore. She was done fighting for us. I have lost her. I have lost our baby before it was even born. Oh shit, oh shit! She is leaving. I can’t let her give up on us.

Kevin grabbed Ally’s shoulders turning her toward him. The roughness of his movements made Dr. Mitchell react. He leaned forward on his leather perch, ready to spring in-between them if Kevin’s grip became more jarring.

Ally, NO! He yelled, surprised by the volume of his voice. We are not done. I am sorry, so sorry, but we will get through this. Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what you want. I will do anything, anything. Please just don’t leave. Don’t give up on us.

Tears streamed down his warm mocha cheeks splashing onto his lap. His eyes were frenzied as his pleas became more desperate as the blankness in Ally’s eyes reflected back. Please babe, don’t.

Ally pushed his hands away and adjusted herself squarely on her cushion of the couch. She looked tired and beaten down. She aged over the past few months. No longer the spry age of twenty-four, she felt at least twenty-years older. Her spirit broken and heart smashed. She could not get over the fact that she was someone’s step-mom and Kevin had a child with another woman.

This was not what my life was supposed to be…this was not what we were supposed to be. You ruined us, Kevin, ruined us. When will you admit that maybe we should just quit while we are ahead? We can still be civil and I would never keep you from our baby. Ally’s voice wavered as a fresh flood of salty tears flowed freely from her vacant eyes. When will you just admit that we are just too broken to be fixed? When Kevin?

He ached to reach over and wipe her tears away. Her creamy skin was blotchy and tear-stained. He hated seeing the state his wife had existed in ever since they returned to Houston. Nightly, she would wake up and stalk their upstairs rooms walking back and forth between our bedroom, the nursery, and then finally to the bathroom. She would tell Kevin that she had to go to the bathroom and was just not ready to settle down again, but he heard her crying and heard her moans. He knew she was miserable and suffering, but he never thought she would give up. He always believed she was the strong one in the relationship. Kevin just always believed she would fight for them no matter what…maybe he was wrong…maybe he took for granted how much one person could emotionally handle. It wouldn’t surprise him. He was so wrong about so many things. Add another to the list.

Dr. Mitchell rushed over to her side and quickly checked her pulse. Her pale complexion and blank stare concerned him enough that he ended the session early. I think you need something to drink. He peeked his head out of his office door and asked his receptionist to fetch him a bottle of water. You do not need to make any decisions today, Allison. He handed her a tissue as well as the bottle of clear, cool liquid. I am suggesting you take a sleeping aid like Sleepytime Tea. It is okay to use while pregnant. You should not make any life-changing decisions while sleep-deprived.

He handed her a blue square of paper with an illegible scroll scratched across its face describing when and how often to drink the tea. I’ll see you both in a week, but only if you have had at least five days of sleep - seven hours at least. If you have not caught up on your sleep by then, I will be contacting your obstetrician and will alert her to your condition.

His icy glare turned cold when connecting with Kevin. You need to do a better job at taking care of her and your child. It is possible you could lose them both and not geographically…pregnancy nowadays is not considered life-threatening, but understand this, pregnancies can be dangerous and you do not want to lose your wife permanently. Are we clear?

Kevin gulped at the thought of never touching Ally or hearing her voice again. In that moment, he knew that if she needed to leave him for her own sanity, he would let her go. He loved her enough to do that for her, but he would not admit that to Ally unless she asked.

Take her home, get the tea, and make her some soup to eat. I suspect she hasn’t been eating as well. Sleep deprivation and loss of appetite go hand-in-hand. Call her doctor tomorrow and explain what has been going on. They might want her to come in for a visit to check her levels.

Kevin nodded, helping Ally to her feet. She slumped against him, broken and exhausted. Kevin scooped her up expecting Ally to protest and slap him for his caveman behavior, but she did the opposite. She nuzzled her head under his chin and relaxed against his warm skin.

Kevin nodded his goodbye and mouthed his thanks. The doctor replied with Good luck.

Chapter 2

Kevin raced through the aisles of Kroger Supermarket. Ally dozed in the front seat of his black on black Cadillac Escalade. His one splurge he allowed himself beside the house he bought for Ally. When he was officially part of the Houston Wranglers’ roster and signed for the next five years, he felt comfortable enough putting down roots in an affluent suburb of Houston.

Their brick home in Afton Oaks was newly built and perfect for his young family. Ally loved everything about their abode, especially the nursery he had decorated for her as a surprise complete with a window seat. Many a night, he found her reading to the baby, daydreaming, or contemplating her life’s path. She loved how it looked over a freshly planted grove of oak trees and could not wait to attach a baby swing to one of the trees’ lower branches.

Kevin smiled as he thought of the beautiful image of his wife and his child. He would do anything to make things better between them…anything.

Where the hell is the fucking tea? I have been all through this god damned store and I have come up empty, twice! He grumbled speeding through the crowd.

Autumn decorations and candy, plethora of vitamins, mouthwash, and toothpaste he had found several times over but he has yet to find the one thing he come here for. An unsuspecting store clerk wheeled a cart in his path. Kevin rammed into his basket and knocked its contents onto the floor.

Son of a bitch! Kevin hissed as the clerk landed hard on his back.

Are you alright? Kevin contritely asked as he started scooping the items back into the clerk’s cart.

My fault sir, the clerk answered intimidated by Kevin’s imposing demeanor and sheer size. I was trying to get all of these items shelved before the end of my shift.

Kevin had no interest in his plans but since he was here, right in front of him, he would do what no self-respecting man does…ask for directions. He cleared his throat, stuffing his embarrassment, and asked. Um…can you direct me to the tea aisle? My wife is having a hard time sleeping and I need something called Sleepytime Tea.

The clerk directed him two rows over. Kevin fled down the rows and grabbed every kind of sleep-type tea he could find. Who knew there were so many different kinds of fucking tea? I am spending a fortune on this crap, and what’s the difference between loose and bagged? He groaned in frustration as he dumped the contents of his cart on the conveyer belt.

That will be $52.63. Cash or credit? The young cashier informed him. She had a sweet smile and giggled as she looked at his purchase. You are quite the tea lover, huh? I have never seen a man buy so much of this stuff in all my life.

Kevin stilled at her laughter before handing her the money. He had no interest in striking up a conversation with Ally asleep in the truck; he would not be rude to the young girl who slightly resembled his wife when they first started dating. He needed to get back to her before she woke up. She’d be nervous and disoriented and she was already stressed. Kevin did not want to add to her torment.

He grabbed for his phone to check the time, but it wasn’t in his pocket. Shit! He thought. I must have left it in the car. I hope no one called and woke up Al.

Kevin barely waited for his change as he grabbed his bagged assorted teas. He stormed through the lot to see Ally crying and tossing his phone into the back seat. Shit! he cursed again running to the truck.

Chapter 3

Ally was awoken by the sound of a phone ringing. She stretched and rubbed her weary eyes trying to find the offending noise that interrupted her sleep. She looked around realizing she was still in the inky confines of Kevin’s completely black ride. The black interior, carpeting, and tinted windows made her search incredibly difficult. She unsnapped her seatbelt and rolled her rounding belly onto her knees.

Geesh, where is his stinkin’ phone?

Her fingers groped the carpeting, in between the seats, and finally in the molded pockets of the door. Eureka! Phone found. It must be someone important to be calling over and over.

Ally glance at the caller id. Unknown caller? Who could this be?

Her heart raced. A cold pit of dread sank in her belly. She had her suspicions as to who could be calling, but was she brave enough to find out.

Damn it!

Her thumb hovered over the Answer button when the ringing stopped. Her heart thumped against her chest. Is she calling him? She asked herself. We got new numbers to prevent any unnecessary contact. Did he give her his number? She’s supposed to contact us through our home number or email…what the hell!

Bile rose in her throat as her stomach started to coil in disgust. The confines of the cave-like interior pressed in on her. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she fought the urge to scream and run from the car. Panic coursed through her veins as her doubts about her husband’s fidelity smacked her like cold, dead fish. Her breathing became shallow as she contemplated what to do.

Do I call the number back? Do I want to call the number back? Is he making a fool out of me? How long has he been in the fucking store? Is he still in there? Is he in there with someone else? Did he meet someone in Houston? Panic overcame her. Her palm slapped against the door trying to find the latch. Her groping fingers stroked every contour and crevice, desperately looking for release.

Oh my God! I have to get out of here. I have to get out.

Her chest tightened as her heart raced. Saliva pooled inside her cheeks. Vomit rose in her throat. Sweat beaded on her brow and tears leeched down her face as she completely succumbed to darkest fear - Kevin either moved his mistress to Texas to keep her close and available or he found someone new.

She looked up to see Kevin racing across the parking lot. Shit! she cursed as she saw him approaching. I have to get out…I need to get out! I can’t do this anymore.

Her chest thumped with adrenaline as sweat beaded and rolled down her back. Ohhh! Where is the frickin’ handle?

Suddenly her fingers wrapped around the slender handle and she bolted out of her seat, forgetting how high off the ground the cab was. She practically fell out of the vehicle before steading her feet and pushing forward. She streaked to the back of the SUV and ran toward the parking lot exit. She wasn’t sure where she would go but away from Kevin was her destination of choice.

Ally? Kevin questioned as her saw her bobble out of his truck. Then, she started to run. What the fuck, he thought. She looked spooked, terrified. What the hell happened while he was buying tea?

Kevin threw the bag into the SUV and raced after his runaway bride. Babe? He called, trying to get her to slow down before she hurt herself or the baby. Honey, please stop and tell me what’s going on.

No! She screamed over her shoulder reaching the lot’s exit.

Why are you running? Please Ally, stop and talk to me.

A sharp pain of protest ripped through her belly. Ally got sick on the black asphalt, vomit splashed over her shoes. Sudden fears of her earlier condition returning overwhelmed her.

Oh! She cried, bending over. Kevin reached her side and lifted her off her feet. Ally kicked and yelled making a small scene in the partially empty parking lot.

Kevin tightened his grip and heaved her into his car. He locked her door and hurried around to his side before she bolted again. Anger seeped in his veins as well as concern. Her erratic behavior was becoming more and more of an issue. He’ll need to call Dr. Mitchell when they got home but only after he got to the bottom of what just happened.

He sped through the streets of Houston, glancing at Ally through his periphery. Her brow was furrowed and her chin quivered. She remained silent allowing the cool air soothe her nausea. She stared out of the passenger side window; her body language tight and rigid. Kevin allowed her to seethe until he pulled onto their street and jerked into their driveway. He slammed on the brakes, forcing Ally forward in her restraints. The air whooshed out of her chest; she coughed softly trying to catch her breath.

What the -, Ally coughed, sucking in air, Hell, Kevin. Are you trying to kill me?

Kevin was trying to do a lot of things, but killing her was not one. He wanted his wife back in the worst way but this insane, new version was not who he wanted or needed. Sadly though, he knew his actions brought out this hysteria…that and well…her crazy-ass pregnancy hormones. Ally rubbed her chest and her belly, soothing where the belt chafed her skin. He winced; apparently she wasn’t the only one losing control.

He turned glaring angrily at her pale, flushed face. Normally, he would ache to kiss the flush back into her cheeks but not now. He was pissed and scared and completely confused. Ally pulled further away, pressing herself against the door. Kevin’s intimidating stare was frightening her. Her lips began to quiver again, he knew his anger pulled him too far into the darkness when Ally bit her bottom lip and wracked her hands together.

Kevin took a deep, settling breath. He counted to ten and back again. Ally stayed in her seat, her eyes darting around not sure where to focus, trying to avoid tears.

Kevin was the first to break the weighted silence.

What …what were you doing? He blew out in exasperation. Where were you going? His voice lifted as his fear surged.

Away…away from you, Ally hissed. Her anger left a sour taste on her tongue.

I thought we agreed that you were going to try and get some sleep before making any life altering decisions. It was why I spent twenty fucking minutes in Kroger’s trolling aisle after aisle for fucking tea.

Ally snorted disgusted by his doting husband impersonation.

What was that? He ruffled at her disbelieving snort, clenched his teeth and continued his defense. He thrust the rectangular strip of paper in her direction, waving it before her eyes. Ally slapped his hand away, turning her face from him.

Check the receipt, Allison. You saw me coming out. I saw you crying and I ran to get to you. I thought you were startled, disoriented because you were asleep. I was coming to comfort you. Dammit! He leaned closer, needing to touch her to try and convince her, console her, something. I had no idea you were going to do the 40-yard dash to get away from me.

I had no idea I would be fielding phone calls from your girlfriend!

Her erratic shriek echoed through the front seat. Kevin reached for her, but Ally contorted pulling all available limbs away from his grasp I thought we agreed that she would not be able to contact us anyway but through email or the house phone. You lied to me…again!

What are you taking about? Kevin had no idea what she was talking about. He had never given his information to Ella. She only has my email… you know that...and you were the one who gave her our house phone! Ella does not know my cell number!

Ally opened her mouth to respond but a sob escaped her lips instead, a deep soul wrenching cry. Kevin grabbed Ally and yanked her heaving body onto his lap. Her body squeezed between his belly and the steering wheel effectively preventing any escape.

Ally…please, he pleaded into her hairline above her right ear. His breath tickled and teased causing her a tingle down her spine. She willed away the sensation refusing to speak.

I can’t help you if you shut me out. Please baby…just tell me what set you off. What had you running away from me? I need…no, I deserve to know.

His words grated Ally’s nerves. He didn’t get to be the victim, he didn’t get to question her, and he certainly didn’t deserve an explanation.

Ally remained silent, avoiding eye contact.

I thought we got past all of these trust issues. I thought you were happy here…with me. Why didn’t you tell me any of this? He waited for an answer but her silence continued. "Ally…please. Why didn’t you tell me? This can’t be good for you or the baby bottling up all of this anger and