The Terror{blist}

By C. Sean McGee

In a well of depression, Gavin, quits his telemarketing job and joins a group of radical idealists. In the days leading to his act of terror, a typo has all news stations emasculating the acts of his terror group. Thinking he will be remembered forever as someone less than a man, Gavin ponders the things that men do.

• Language: English
• Publisher: C. Sean McGee
• Release date: Aug 9, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301558674

C. Sean McGee

"I write weird books."

Book preview

THE TERROR{blist}

A short story by

cseanmcgee

The Terror{blist}

Copyright© Cian Sean McGee

CSM PUBLISHING

‘The Free Art Collection"

Published at Smashwords

Santo André, São Paulo, Brazil 2013

First Edition

All rights reserved. This FREE ART ebook may be copied, distributed, reposted, reprinted and shared, provided it appears in its entirety without alteration, the reader is not charged to access it and the downloader or sharer does not attempt to assume any part of the work as their own. Free art, just a writer’s voice and your conscious ear.

Cover Design: C. Sean McGee

Interior layout: C. Sean McGee

Author Foto: Carla Raiter

This novella was written under the influence of

KMFDM – NIHIL

for keli, nenagh and tomás

CHAPTER ZERO

Do you feel bored often?

Yeah I guess.

Well, how often? All the time, most of the time, sometimes, hardly ever, never?

Well, it depends really?

But for the sake of this test, we’ll just say…?

Maybe a few times a week, maybe once a day.

The Doctor looked estranged. That response wasn’t sitting on his chart. The boy was speaking outside of context. He was surely delusional but as much as The Doctor scanned over his page, he couldn’t find mild delusion as a common symptom of depression.

Stick to the script, he thought. So, we can say, most of the time then?

Gavin looked bored right now. He was sitting slumped in the chair, leaning his arms on his legs and hanging his head like a dead weight over the edge of his knees.

It depends, he said.

Well, that’s not an answer Gavin. You have to choose one of the five responses.

But it depends. I mean, if I have to do boring things then of course I’m gonna get bored and if I don’t, well, then I don’t get bored.

"How often do you do boring things? All the time, most of the time, sometimes, hardly ever or never?’

I mean, my job it sucks and even television kinda sucks now. There’s never anything good on and they just keep repeating that episode that nobody likes.

So all the time then. Interesting.

So wait, the depression makes me do boring things that make me bored or the boring things make me bored and that makes me depressed?

That’s a very pessimistic way of looking at things? Have you always felt hopeless? How often would you say you feel hopeless? All the time, most of the time, sometimes, hardly ever, never?

I... well.

Ok, well I’m gonna go ahead and just tick most of the time here. Now, do you ever feel sad when other people are happy?

Gavin thought about his brother and when he had proposed to his fiancée at Gavin’s birthday dinner. Everyone was so happy that night. They took all of the spoil away from Gavin and put all of their doting adoration to his brother and Fernanda, his stupid fiancée. His face scrunched and crumbled as he thought about that night and probably he didn’t know or he thought he was keeping a secret of it by saying nothing but The Doctor could read plainly, the expression on his face.

Interesting, he said, ticking a box. Now, would you say you ever feel sad for no reason?

There’s always a reason to be sad.

Really, so you’d say that you find reasons in most things to be sad? So would you say that you feel sad all of the time, most of the time, sometimes, hardly ever, never?

That’s not what I said. What I meant was that if someone is sad then there has to be a reason. Like your cat died or some stupid TV show ended or something.

But you do feel sad then?

Well yeah, I mean everyone does. Just look at the television. All they show is some war or plague or some famine and you can't do anything about it and they make you want to, but there’s nothing you can do except feel sad. And you don’t ever hear about AIDS anymore. It’s still there you know, like in Africa and everywhere, it’s still this really big thing, but nobody cares about it anymore.

Does that make you sad, that people have AIDS?

Yeah I guess. I mean, it bugs me more that people stopped giving a shit.

And do you think about that a lot, death?

I suppose.

Ok, so I’ll just go ahead and tick most of the time then.

The Doctor put down his file. Gavin tried to peek, but he couldn’t see. His then eyes drifted to the prescription pad on The Doctor’s lap. The handwriting was so neat but as neat as it was, it was illegible. It just looked like a whole bunch of wavy circles and Gavin remarked to himself silently at how they all looked like little nooses swirling off the ends of every word.

So you do have depression but don’t worry, though depression is a deadly condition you shouldn’t fret, if we start treatment right away, we can have you on the road to betterment in no time.

How long is this road? And what is no time? Why do your answers get to be ambiguous?

So we’re gonna start you on Ciprimil, 100mg, said The Doctor, ignoring his doubt. And from there we will see what sort of results we get.

We’ll see? You’re not expecting the drugs to work.

Well, each person is different and requires different individual treatment.

And it can only be cured with drugs? You’re sure, there’s nothing else I can do?

Sorry, you’re confused; by different treatment we mean different drugs. But yes, drugs are the only way to contain your depression. And pretty soon, you won’t be feeling sad anymore and you won’t be feeling bored at your job or while watching television, everything will be back to normal. And that confusion should clear up too.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just stop doing boring things? You know, change my job, maybe stop watching television? Who knows, take up tennis? Gavin said in a mocking laugh.

The Doctor looked annoyed by his attempt at humour.

Things aren’t boring Gavin, you just see them that way. This is a condition of depression. You need to take your medication and then you can continue doing the same things except you will feel a different appreciation for them. You won’t be so negative all the time and bringing other people down.

"So wait, are you curing my depression or my boredom?

Just take the medication.

The piece of coloured paper zipped as The Doctor ripped it away from the pad. Gavin noticed how The Doctor’s fingers sort of trembled as he outstretched his hand, holding the coloured prescription out for him to take. It wasn’t a lot. It was real subtle. He wouldn’t have noticed it had he, not the confidence issue making it so difficult for him to look people in the eyes when they spoke. Probably none of his others patients noticed. Probably he didn’t either. It wasn’t like his hand was thrashing about in some fit, it was just