Twelve-Hundred Steps

By M. Trish Alden

TWELVE-HUNDRED STEPS is a collection of insightful poetry about love and life as well as a collection of poignant stories about growing up as one of two adopted children on the Alden family farm in western Oregon. As you read these pages, it becomes evident that the need for love and freedom is very important to Ms. Alden. This glimpse into her soul and heart through her words will most certainly compel you to relate to the deep feelings that forever constitute who she is.

M. Trish Alden will be the first to say she doesn’t follow the rules and techniques of most poets, and is somewhat insecure in that fact. She does write from the heart, however, and the words flow without concern for the mechanics, resulting in a raw, simple rendering of her very own truth that seems incredibly familiar to all of us.

• Language: English
• Publisher: R. J. B. P.
• Release date: May 21, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301535699

Book preview

"Poetry is a great form of self-expression. It is a special form of writing which allows the writer to say or write practically anything with short lines, long lines, rhymes or in whatever style he wants."

Romeo Cayabyab

Better Days Ahead

April showers bring May flowers

leaving dark rain clouds behind

April showers bring May flowers

blue skies ahead, I find

Traveling down this road of life

I glance in the rear view mirror

Seeing stormy days of strife

the signs could not be clearer

Yesterdays gone, leaving me free

to fill my tomorrows with love

Breaking yesterday’s hold on me

leaving blue skies and sunshine above

With the rainbow of promise overhead

and May’s flowering meadows in sight

Blue skies and sunshine lie ahead

a bend in life’s road makes it all right

April showers bring May flowers

Leaving those rain clouds behind

April showers bring May flowers

blue skies ahead, I find

The Circle

I didn’t realize what it meant to hurt

I was young, innocent and recovered easily

You were older, more vulnerable and so much in love

now I’m older, wiser, and hurt

The circle is drawn and we’ve drifted on

Does the ache go away . . . never?

Does it diminish as time eludes me?

I’ve hurt, been hurt and grown older

Will I sleep without pain again . . . ever?

A new day’s dawn and time goes on

Together

My eyes and yours came together one day

in search of life’s special spark

Your eyes and mine now together to stay

found the light through the dark

Your hand and mine came together one day

to find the warmth of another

My hand and yours now together to stay

strong with the help of each other

My lips and yours came together one day

warmed by the promise of giving

Your lips and mine now together to stay

fueled by the passion of living

A Sure Bet

Sunrise just isn’t the same since we met

You’ve given a whole new meaning to the word sunset

and baby, our love is a sure bet

Sunrise to sunset

Are You Sure?

Your eyes say I love you

and your heart seems so pure

but your mind keeps on searching

and your voice is unsure

Constant Love

Love cannot be turned on and off

with an unseen switch in your mind

It can be hidden for a time, only

to pop up again stronger than ever

A Tribute to Mexican Frank

Laughter bubbled from his little boy eyes

at the wonderful tales he told

Falling trees and hunting bear

discovering elusive gold

He’d been all the way to Alaska, it seems

where he lived off the land

and over to northern Idaho

where big nuggets he panned

Throughout the northwest he’d been a logger

felling trees was what he did best

He always took pride in the work he did

to his way of life he added zest

He’d tried his hand at many things

and at most he did succeed

This mountain man’s a survivor

a true one-of-a-kind, indeed

After Life

When you’re born and soul joins heart

angels cry as you depart

The doors of heaven open wide

joining mankind on the other side

Man rejoices at your birth

filled with joy and praise and mirth

Love swells each heart so filled with pride

joining family on the earthly side.

When you die and soul leaves heart

mankind cries as you depart

Family and friends say their goodbyes

breaking the bond of earthly ties

But all God’s angels join in singing

of His promised new beginning

The doors of heaven open again

singing hallelujah they welcome you in

So don’t be sad and too long to grieve

when those you love take their leave

Remember their joy and praise and mirth

as heaven rejoices at rebirth

All That I Need

All that I am

is all that I have

to give you

All that you are

is all that I ask

in return

It’s your love I need

your hopes and your dreams

your smiles and your tears

It’s the seed that I need

to make this love grow

and day by day you must know

I love you, I love you so.

Here are some of my memories . . .

An autobiography tells the story of a life, while memoir tells a story from a life. Memories or memoirs are written from the first person point of view.

My Beginnings

In honor of my mothers and fathers I am addressing the fact that I have been blessed with two sets of parents: biological and adopted.

I have known, from a time before I can remember, that I was adopted, a chosen child, as Mommy put it. I was a lucky one because in 1946 having a baby out of wedlock was taboo and single pregnant girls often sought out back alley abortions. Many didn’t live through the process and many more were never able to get pregnant again.

I was chosen and raised by good strong Christian parents, Richard and Kathleen Alden, and was around a bevy of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and later an adopted baby brother. I never heard a disparaging word from anyone about being adopted so it always remained something special in my mind.

Later in life Mommy gave me some papers that she had been sent years before by mistake from Catholic Charities. It gave some good clues as to who my birth parents were. With Mommy’s blessing I began a search that took years, first hiring three different search companies over more than twenty years time, who took my money to dig deeper only to come up empty handed.

In the late ‘90s I got my computer hooked up to Internet and the first time I turned it on up popped a site called people search. It was a free site at that time so I pulled out my adoption papers and began the search.

I had the most info on Vera Highsmith so I started there, typing up an email to send to hundreds of Highsmiths along the East Coast where she had family and to Florida where she had worked for Pan Am, and met Stanley Malinoski, my father. She got pregnant, gave birth, and gave me up for adoption. I spent hours emailing every Highsmith in those areas and before I was finished I emailed Highsmiths all over the United States just in case.

After that first attempt I was very tired so I went to bed and slept for a few hours. When I arose and opened my email, dozens and dozens were coming in. I read each one carefully. Everyone expressed excitement, wishing me well, saying they didn’t think it was their family but would check with an uncle or grandparent or the family historian to be sure. More and more emails poured into my in-box and I kept reading. Some saying they wished I was part of their family.

One in particular was from Barry Highsmith. He said the information sure sounded like his Aunt Vera, but to his knowledge she had never had children. He said he would call her right away and let me know. A few minutes later another email popped up from Barry, I opened it barely able to breathe. It began Dear Cousin Trish, and went on to say she was indeed my birth mother and would be calling me as soon as she regained her composure. Sure enough a couple of minutes later the phone rang and I spoke to Vera for the first time in my life. I told her of my long search and that I would like to visit her in Hot Springs Arkansas soon. She was delighted.

I called my son-in-law David next to ask if my daughter Michelle and granddaughter Chelden could accompany me on the journey. I didn’t want to get Michelle all excited if she couldn’t get away from work just then.

David was very happy for me and he said Sure, call her and make arrangements.

A few days later, on Mothers Day, we landed in Little Rock, Arkansas, rented a car and drove to Hot Springs. Upon arrival at Vera’s home we knocked on the door and there stood an older image of me.

She said, There is no doubt we belong to each other.

It was the first time I had been face to face with anyone who was blood-related (besides my own offspring) and what a thrill it was. Someone who looks like me!

Her sister and nephew were there also and we visited for awhile. Later we were told that her friends found out and wanted to give her a party the very next day. More than one hundred people came to her home bringing food, flowers, well wishes, and even a pair of booties that brought a good laugh. It was a wonderful time, getting to know a bit about her from each of her friends and meeting other relatives.

A local newspaper reporter came by and interviewed us, taking pictures for the local paper. I asked if he would send a copy to the Hillsboro Argus, where I grew up. He said he would. They ran the article and pictures also and I heard from many of my friends and classmates in Hillsboro, wishing me well.

We stayed a week in a resort on the lake nearby and visited with family more each day, going sight-seeing around the area. I fell in love with Hot Springs, the only town inside a National Park, and went back at least once a year for many years after that. Sometimes daughter Michelle, David and Chelden would accompany me and sometimes my grade school friend Marietta would go along. Even Mommy went for a family reunion of Vera’s siblings and their spouses. It was a wonderful time.

Vera told me her story and later Stanley, my birth father, told me his. I respect them for making a hard choice.

At one point Vera gave me Stanley’s address and phone number and said he had always wanted to find me. I called him several times and we had nice chats but when I suggested coming to Florida to meet, he said he had two sons, my two half brothers Paul and James and he did not want them to know what he had done.

In September 2001 I took a trip to Florida with my then husband David and