Public Toenails and My Fights Over Stolen Chicken and Such

By JT Pearson

A young married couple attempt a simple Sunday outing to the grocery store but when the man's wife accuses him of flirting with the girl working the deli counter and influencing her to steal chicken for him he tries to reason with her. She's stubborn and insists that he report the incident to the store manager. Problems arise. This is a quirky odd story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: JT Pearson
• Release date: Feb 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301654086

JT Pearson

JT Pearson is possibly more myth than reality. It is widely believed that he has been around for thousands of years. Archeological digs have uncovered Grecian artwork that suggests that they prayed to him to cure ailments of the feet. Irish legend insists that JT Pearson is that movement in shadow that you’re not certain that you actually saw, or that image at the edge of your peripheral vision that vanishes when you turn toward it. In the upper Midwest of the United States people had claimed that they had several images of JT Pearson captured on film but they were all poor quality and eventually proven to be hoaxes. It is only recently that an artist rendering was discovered in the attic of an old convent that is believed to be authentic. President Richard Nixon had claimed before his death that JT Pearson was the specter that haunted his boyhood home, and quite possibly the reason that his mother left his father for a short time. Nestled among all of these legends and hearsay is the accusation that he is the author of this sight and responsible for the drivel that has been filling your head. Lawyers for JT Pearson advise that if you read his work you do so at your own peril and no form of compensation either monetary or otherwise will be offered for any injuries permanent or short term which are incurred within the pages of his stories. If you’d like to communicate with JT Pearson either burn a photograph of yourself and sprinkle the ashes into the wind at dusk or you may take the more conventional route at [e-mail] P.S. look for novels coming in the near future. For now, please enjoy the many short stories that he has provided for you to read for free. Feedback is much appreciated.

Book preview

GRANDFATHER’S PUBLIC TOENAILS, MY FIGHTS OVER STOLEN CHICKEN AND SUCH

By J T Pearson

COPYRIGHT Joseph Pearson 2013

SMASHWORDS EDITION

You stole that chicken, Marvin.

I’d been with Beatrice for nearly two years and so far our entire marriage had been constructed of twisted exhibitions like this one, her wrongly accusing me of stealing chicken from the Food King deli while we were shopping and now threatening to make a scene when it was just supposed to have been a pleasant Sunday outing.

I did not steal it. She gave it to me.

She didn’t have the right.

What are you, the chicken police?

Whenever she was in a mood like this and trying to force a confrontation in public I used my longer legs to my advantage and walked at a pace that left her constantly trying to catch up, eventually stealing her breath, habitual smoker that she was. She reached for my shirt but I became a phantom to her fingers, speeding up, and out of her reach.

A heavyset older woman with a smattering of lonely hairs on her chin and an overflowing cart, groceries nearly toppling from it, glared at me as we passed, not realizing that I was actually the victim in this scenario and my wife was chasing me.

It’s her, not me, I offered as we passed.