The Becky Rules

By Sue Comeau...

Are you a Becky?
A Becky is the ultimate gal pal. A woman who strives to be her best, no matter what the challenges... and who kicks ass!
Want to join the club? Read on!
Come along on a year in the life of the three original Beckies, as they make up ‘The Becky Rules’ – the guidelines for being happy, fulfilled, and of course, fashionable:
When Madison, Gabby, and KL start working together, life is good. Madison is applying to medical school, Gabby has a budding writing career, and KL is a busy social butterfly. (She may have to don a pair of workboots or a hairnet for work here and there, but other than that, she’s a happy-go-lucky single gal.)
Then things change in a hurry! Madison jets off to New Zealand for a year while continuing her quest to be a doctor. Gabby has a baby but is still trying to sell her script. KL begins to wonder where she’s going in life.
Written from three perspectives, the girls share their experiences, support, and oh, about 300 revelations as they create this set of rules for living your best life. Welcome to The Becky Rules!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sue Comeau...
• Release date: Dec 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9780991757329

Sue Comeau...

Sue Comeau hangs out in Halifax, Nova Scotia with her husband, kids, and sidekick Labrador retriever. A Certified Exercise Physiologist, she’s working on her next project, a fitness-themed series for kids. Kathy-Lynn Lee moved to Labrador City, where the ratio of guys to gals is distinctly in her favor! She continues to work in healthcare while being a social butterfly. Camille Bonnell is a physician who lives in New Brunswick with her family. The Becks continue to stay close friends... and to follow THE BECKY RULES. Visit them at: www.facebook.com/TheBeckyRules

Book preview

The Becky Rules

by

Sue Comeau

Camille Bonnell

Kathy Lynn Lee

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2012 by Sue Stender

All Rights Reserved.

No part of this work may be reproduced in any fashion without the express, written consent of the copyright holder.

This book is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed herein are fictitious and are not based on any real persons living or dead.

Table of Contents

PROLOGUE

BECKY RULE #1

BECKY RULE #2

BECKY RULE #3

BECKY RULE #4

BECKY RULE #5

BECKY RULE #6

BECKY RULE #7

BECKY RULE #8

BECKY RULE #9

A LITTLE SIDENOTE HERE GIRLS

BECKY RULE #10

BECKY RULE #11

BECKY RULE #12

BECKY RULE #13

BECKY RULE #14

BECKY RULE #15

BECKY RULE #16

BECKY RULE #17

BECKY RULE #18

BECKY RULE #19

BECKY RULE #20

BECKY RULE #21

BECKY RULE #22

BECKY RULE #23

EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE: PART TWO

THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO BECKYHOOD

CODE OF CONDUCT

BECKY MUST-HAVES

APPENDIX D

RECIPE FOR A CATTLE RUSTLER

PROLOGUE

Grab a drink, Girls. This will take a few minutes. But like any sorority, to be a member, you have to know its origin, its history. So sit back and get comfortable. And enjoy.

September:

First day at the new physiotherapy clinic, and as I walk in, it’s the usual scene. The friendly receptionist and the couple of therapists wearing the classic PT look: chinos, polo shirt, and sensible shoes. One of the PT’s is eating some granola, and they both give me that ‘I’m here to help you’ smile.

I’m in my own signature style, something I like to call ‘the young Jackie Kennedy goes to The Gap’: crisp white shirt, freshwater pearls, stone colored pants, and chocolate brown loafers.

I introduce myself and am given the tour by the head therapist. This university clinic is tiny and, from a structure and décor perspective, a bit of a shithole. That’s okay though. It’s got a stellar reputation.

And anyway, I’ll just be part-time. I teach a couple of classes here at the university in human kinetics and exercise performance, and do some writing on the side. As an aspiring screenwriter, I’m trying to get my big break.

On our way to the staff room, my tour guide has to take a phone call. Motioning me onward, she whispers Two of our best therapists. I don’t realize it, but this is about to be a Dr. Phil ‘Life Changing Moment’.

Hey Becky, have you seen my patient with the ankle fracture yet?

No Beck. I’m seeing him tomorrow to go over an exercise program.

They both swivel in their chairs as I walk into the cramped staff room. One is pretty and I can tell she has energy to burn. The other looks more subdued, but she’s drop dead gorgeous. The kind of girl you’d hate to be standing next to at the high school dance. Or anywhere for that matter. And I’ve heard of them: They’re both kick-ass rehabilitation therapists.

But I’m pretty sure their names aren’t Becky.

Hi, I’m Gabrielle, I venture. Gabby. The pumped one leaps out of her chair toward me. Wow, she is a livewire. Like a Muppet with fashion sense. Hey Gabby! Great to meet you. I’m KL. I’m the kinesiologist here.

And I’m Madison, says the other one, flashing a megawatt smile. Mental note: Never stand by her.

Welcome to the jungle, KL laughs as she steers me to a chair.

I say this in the nicest way possible: Physical therapists have a reputation for being a little, um, straight-laced. A little eat-your-fibre and don’t forget that tofu in your pasta sauce kind of folks. Keep it neutral. And for God’s sake, don’t swear, pry or otherwise offend anyone. But these girls don’t fit that (I know – totally stereotypical) mould. And they both seem super hip. Madison is a poster girl for Banana Republic. And KL is kind of Bohemian chic. These girls have style.

Great scarf, I offer to KL, as I sit at my designated desk.

It’s all in the accessories, she smiles. "Or should I say expressories." I nod and laugh. She’s too cool.

She looks at Madison. She’s going to fit in just fine Becky.

By the end of the day, I have to ask. Other staff call them Madison and KL. They introduced themselves as Madison and KL. But they keep calling each other Becky. When I walk in the staffroom after my last client, they’re chowing down on a cake that says Happy Monday!.

Madison motions me over. First days always take it out of you huh? Grab some cake. I picked it up this morning. We’re the only ones who eat this sugary shit around here.

So much for swearing.

This is the best. Superstore buttercream cake. We used to only get it for birthdays, but now we just make up special occasions! I don’t know why I’m not just rubbing it on my hips now, laughs KL.

Today’s legit though, with our new addition, Madison says, winking.

I smile as I dig in: Okay, so what’s with the Becky thing?

They both laugh. It’s a little immature, says Madison.

Don’t diss us, counters KL, wagging her finger. For a white girl, she can do a great Cobra. She turns to me. You know the old Sir Mix-A-Lot song Baby Got Back? The first line: ‘Oh my God Becky. Did you see the size of her butt?’

I love that song, I admit sheepishly. I still have it on my workout playlist.

Well, that’s where we got the Becky thing from, continues KL. A Becky is a girlfriend that you can tell anything to, even if it seems flaky or catty or whatever. The ultimate gal pal.

She takes another piece of cake, and stares at my feet, with her hand on her chest as if to steady herself. Oh my God. I love your shoes!

I think we’re going to be great friends.

October

The Economy Shoe Shop. Friday night.

Madison, KL and I are sidled up to the bar, and we’re looking good if I do say so myself. Our look is sort of fashionista-on-a-shoestring, replete with the essential fashion pieces for Halifax in the Fall: the trench coat and the color coordinated (yet warm) scarf. Ah yes, there’s nothing like functional fashion. But I digress…

The beauty of Halifax, Nova Scotia is: It’s this charming little city on the east coast, with friendly folks, a few universities, a fun pub scene with great local music and beer, and beautiful scenery. But it also has a cosmopolitan edge to it. So it’s become a popular place to make movies. Movie stars come to town, and hey, they need a place to wet their whistle and unwind.

Enter The Economy Shoe Shop, a funky watering hole with a cozy feel. (And by the way Girls, a note here: There are no shoes for sale here. If there were, it would be called something different: paradise.)

Meanwhile, we need to wet our whistles. Let’s get Cosmo’s, says KL. They’re so ‘Sex and the City’.

God, I miss that show, I say, as they nod.

When the bartender hands us our drinks, we all swivel around at exactly the same time, to peruse the bar. It’s a little ‘Charlie’s Angels’ but unplanned so what the hay.

I wonder if there are any celebs here tonight? I wonder, doe-eyed.

Madison, without missing a beat, takes another sip and says, Gab, everyone’s looking at us. We ARE the celebrities.

I respond with an eloquent Huh.

I look at Madison on one side of me, then at KL on the other side. And it occurs to me how different these girls are on first glance. Madison comes across as this demure sophisticate, the kind of girl you felt privileged to hear a secret from in school. KL is all wildfire. I fall somewhere in the middle. We’re like a big salad: different ingredients, but throw us together and we’re fabulous!

We all swivel back to the bar. Madison raises her glass and announces, Here’s to you Beckies.

And so we are official.

November

It’s a slow day at the clinic, and we’re all doing paperwork, dictating progress letters to physicians, etc.

Okay, that’s what we’re supposed to be doing. In actuality, we’re singing Tina Turner songs into our dictaphones, which highly amuses our secretaries. I’m marking papers for my class and trying to figure out a plot snag for a script I’m working on. Madison is studying for her upcoming medical school interview, her second attempt, having just missed last year. KL is checking horoscopes on the computer.

Hey Madison, what’s your sign? asks KL in her usual ‘I’m on fire’ tone.

Pisces, she replies. Why?

I’ll see what’s in store for your interview. This horoscope rocks. It forecasts your whole month plus a yearly overview. Astrology World by Jane Winger. She clicks the mouse. Let’s see, the moon is in Pluto and the sun is smiling on Uranus.

Ouch, jokes Madison.

No, wait. It says meetings will prove beneficial! KL reports.

You’re going to be a doctor, Beck! I chime in.

Of course, KL adds. She’s a Becky. Now Gab, let’s see when you’re going to sell your script. Then I’ll figure out my life. Who wants to make a run for the buttercream cake to celebrate?

And it all seems that easy.

December

I spot the fake reindeer horns first. You know the ones. The soft furry ones you get at card stores and novelty shops around Christmastime?

My husband Sam and I are having our annual Christmas party and a great time is being had by all.

As I open the door and see KL and Madison standing on our front veranda, I make a mental note: the reindeer horns actually seem to match their outfits.

Ben, Madison’s fiancé peaks out from behind her horns, and offers forward a bottle of wine. I’ve gotten the impression he’s serious by nature, or maybe just focused. After all, the guy is training to be a surgeon.

You’d better have some good-looking men here for KL, he says seriously. She’s getting horny.

So much for first impressions. I lead them into the festivities.

What’re y’at, b’ys! KL calls out to everyone. (Translation: What are you at, guys?) It’s a classic greeting in Newfoundland, way over on the east coast of Canada. It’s where KL and Madison are from. It can mean anything from How are you? to Have you got your make-up done yet? to How’s your therapy going? Very all-inclusive!

You know how you always have those couple of friends who are your champion minglers? You want them at any party you throw, because you know they get people talking and having fun?

That’s KL and Madison. And yes, KL actually keeps the reindeer horns on all night.

They’re the last to leave, so we finish off a little wine and, as Sam and Ben chat, we exchange small Christmas gifts. Brooklyn, our Black Lab, is lounging in front of our fireplace. KL gives us charm bracelets, and a charm symbolizing friendship.

January

Today, Madison has her medical school interview here at Nova Scotia University. All goes well she thinks, and she looks the part in her cream-colored suit. We meet afterward at my place for the celebratory buttercream cake.

They asked me a lot of questions about being a physiotherapist, she says tentatively, and I wanted to say, ‘I’m not here to talk about that. I want to be a physician’, but I thought it would sound bad.

Don’t worry about it. You have a stellar resume and references, great MCAT score, and they probably just wanted to get a feel for your background, I say, as I pour coffee.

I agree, says KL. You’re in Dr. Bennett. Now you can concentrate on marrying Ben.

February

I’ve always thought that the best friends in life are the ones who have that perfect combination of substance and fluff. We’re helping Madison chill out as she waits to hear from the med school. We’re encouraging KL as she figures out what she wants to be doing with her life. (Being a clinical kinesiologist seems to be a stepping stone on the path to… well, she doesn’t know where yet.) And Madison and KL have been my biggest cheerleaders as I submit my script to agents. They keep saying Jewel (yes, the singer) lived in a van Gab, Jewel lived in a van… which, I guess she did before she made it big. It’s their way of saying, It may look bleak but it’s going to happen for you.

Our friendship has substance. We spend February pumping each other up.

March

We also have fluff. Case in point: Madison’s stagette party. KL and I buy Madison a fake tiara and a hot pink boa, we gather up some other Becky-esque friends and the Becks are on the loose. Long story short, we end up dancing at an over-the-top gay bar, because Girls, they always have the best music.

Right around now I should sidestep for a moment and tell you about a couple of V.I.B.’s (Very Important Beckies).

One is Virginia Biltmore. As her name suggests, she comes from a wealthy family. Actually, she’s stinking rich. Now, the beauty of Ginny Biltmore is that you’d never know it. She’s the most sunny, down-to-earth gal you’d ever want to meet. In fact, she’s #1 on my personal nicest people I know list. And tonight, she’s having a great time, even though she got splashed as a car sped through a mud puddle on our way down to the bar. Most people would be pissed, but she was able to laugh. So of course, she’s a Beck.

So we’re all dancing at this gay bar, and Ginny Bilt yells out, Hey Guys, lovin’ every minute of it! It’s classic Ginny Bilt.

The other V.I.B. is Alex Thorne. Alex is, like KL and Madison, from Newfoundland. She’s an occupational therapist who owns several clinics. She gave me my first job, even though she was not much older than I was. She’s that rare combination of empathetic health care professional/savvy businesswoman/fucking cool. She’s my mentor.

Alex can charm anyone, and I’ve seen her connect with everyone from recently injured (and very unhappy) fish plant workers to high level executives – all while wearing kickass boots. Yes, Alex is one of those people that’s always put together, and the penchant for boots (even while everyone else, including me, is wearing sensible shoes) is a good thing. More on that later.

Alex buys us all a round of drinks. Then she raises her glass to Madison and says, Here’s to your new adventure. Then she turns to us and adds, It is all an adventure, isn’t it Girls? We nod like puppies.

Let me just say, we’re hot. So hot, that in the cab home at 3 a.m., when I hand KL my share of the fare, it’s soaked. Mental note: Do not wear pleather pants to go dancing.

At one point when we’re all dancing, KL shouts out, You Becks rock! We all touch fingertips and wiggle them (the new Becky ‘handshake’). Then we all hug like big goofballs. It’s one of those pure fluff moments. You’re all just having fun and celebrating for a friend. And like the meringue on a lemon pie, it makes life so much sweeter.

April

It’s Madison’s wedding day. She looks beautiful in a classic champagne strapless gown. She has her hair up, with a small but exquisite diamond hairclip that was her grandmother’s, and a few stray curls to look imperfectly perfect. She has the most lovely smile on her face all day. Ben can’t wipe the smile off his face either.

The day is a huge success. KL and I give the toast to the bride. It’s the perfect combination of sweet and funny.

There are a few couples with small children, and I notice Sam looking wistfully at them.

After dinner, we dance a lot, and KL is a madwoman on the dance floor. Thank God there are a lot of medical people here, because there’s an ankle sprain with her name on it.

At the end of the evening, Madison comes over and hugs KL and me. This is our year, Girls. This is our year.

May

This must be the rainiest May ever. We’re working out with stability balls at the university sportsplex. For three supposedly mature health and fitness professionals, we turn into ding-a-lings when we work out together. We’ve become known at the gym as the Cirque du Soleil… More like the circus. Classes have ended at the university, and although I’ll miss teaching my class, I can work on my next script. Speaking of, I’ve just gotten another PFO letter from an agent. (Okay, actually it’s a nice rejection letter. It just didn’t resonate with the agent. There’s no ‘please fuck off’ anywhere in the letter. But still.)

Luckily I’ve been dabbling in some freelance writing, or I’d be completely bummed. Madison is still waiting to hear from the medical school. And KL is contemplating a new job.

I think you should take it, counsels Madison as she works her abs. You haven’t been happy at the clinic. Besides, Gab is leaving to write full time. I’ll be in med school I hope. There’s nothing holding you back.

"I would like some adventure, KL ponders out loud. Just like Alex says… And there is some travel with this job. I need a change."

June

You know how you can look back on certain periods in your life, and say That was one of the best times of my life? And sometimes you know it right then? And you know you’d better enjoy it while it lasts, because the fluid nature of life will bring harder times your way sooner or later. This year is one of those years. And this day is one of those days. June 1st is my favorite day of the year, for a few reasons that I’m not even aware of yet. Today, life is good and I know it.

As Madison’s Jetta pulls up, I can already hear Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff blaring from her car stereo. KL is with her, wearing some funky sunglasses, and for some reason I think of a Far Side cartoon.

Sam and I are sitting on our front steps, with Brooklyn. Sam and I don’t have real kids yet: I keep telling him, "Life is so good now. Once we have kids, we’ll never go back to this." He agrees, although more and more, I think he’d be happy to be a dad. Actually, I know it. But with teaching at the university part-time, trying to get my screenwriting career going, and just starting to get consistent work as a fitness freelance writer, I’m not ready. At some point, sure a little one would be great. I do love kids. I was a camp counsellor for goodness sake. I’m good with them and I have a lot of fun with kids.

But for now, Brook is our baby. She’s a little spoiled. Okay she’s a diva, but we’ve had her since we were married, and we love her. Like I say, life is good.

Hi Sam! Madison calls out to my husband. KL follows it with a Hi Buck! That’s our nickname for a Becky’s significant guy.

Ben’s off tonight, Madison follows. We’re making nachos and margueritas later on. You up for it?

Sam is always up for nachos and gives the big thumbs up. Have fun! he calls out, over Donna Summer. With a kiss for Sam and of course Brooklyn, I’m in the car, Hot Stuff still blaring, and we’re heading to our happy place: The Gap. Life is good.

As we walk through the mall, we pass a Baby Gap.

My stress sigh obviously attracts attention. They both stop and look at me.

I just saw a study on fertility and once you hit the big 3-5, it’s all downhill.

I thought you and Sam were waiting on kids, says KL. Are you getting maternal urges?

No, I’m totally not ready, I reply. Sam’s being so good about it all.

Don’t worry about it yet then, says Madison. Once you have your Academy Award, then you worry about it. She flashes me her megawatt smile.

Yeah, you’re right, I say as we browse. What if I never sell my screenplay?

KL picks up a coat and hands it to me. Try this on. And you will sell it. Mom is still saying a Catholic novena for you. And besides, you’re a Becky.

July

We’re leaving.

Madison, KL, and I are sitting at my kitchen table, having coffee. And Madison has just hit us with a big surprise.

What?! KL and I both half-ask, half-shout. (In times of stress or surprise, we’re not exactly eloquent.)

Ben is almost done his residency and he can’t find anything here, Madison reports glumly. We’re going to Saint John for a few months.

But that’s three hours away! I whine.

The good news is that he got his fellowship and we’ll be going to New Zealand for a year. Unless I get into med school. Then life really gets complicated. Madison’s perfect posture takes a leave of absence as she slumps in her chair, her mind obviously whirring.

That’s, something like 40 hours away… On a really expensive plane! moans KL.

We’ve still got e-mail, Madison offers.

August

We’re helping Madison pack up the last few boxes in their apartment. It seems as if life is changing quickly. I feel like crap.

We hear the mail drop through the slot in the door. She drops a book and races to the door, mumbling, Please please… A pause, then, Fuck!

KL and I look at each other. No letter? KL calls out. Madison walks back shaking her head. I’ll bet I didn’t get in.

The med school is always behind schedule, I console. It takes a few months to get everything out, doesn’t it? I mean, seriously, you had a stellar application. You’re just stressing over nothing.

Dr. Bennett, says KL, You’re gonna have to prescribe yourself some chill pills.

KL sits down. Let’s take a break for a sec. They both plop down, as I stand tensely. Secrets will do that to you.

Well Becks, I have some news. I got that job as a rehabilitation consultant. So I’m going to be travelling quite a bit to different job sites and offices. But it’s a good time for a change.

Good for you Beck! says Madison. And I start crying. I don’t mean to. I’m actually not a crier. Good for you! I say, smiling and swatting the tears.

I’ll still be around some, Gab! KL says half-joking.

I’m pregnant, I say to two sets of widened eyes and raised eyebrows.

Immediately I’m getting hugged. It’s like a Becky sandwich.

That’s good Gab. It’s good, says KL. And in case I needed that extra bit of reinforcement: This is a good thing.

You’re going to be a great mother, says Madison.

They’re still hugging me as I soak up some more tears. I didn’t say anything before, but my age was sort of stressing me out, I babble, And now I’m just a little freaked out…

KL grabs Madison and says, Oh my God! We’re going to have ourselves a mini-Beck or a mini-Buck!

Sometimes, friends know just what to say.

Fall and Winter…

Things changing quickly was an understatement. Madison and Ben are in Saint John, and KL is on the road a lot with her job.

I’m teaching again, and actively hiding the fact that I’m pregnant. I just don’t want the added attention: no unsolicited belly pats for me, thanks. I’ll donate those to Brooklyn.

With teaching, keeping fit, hanging out lots with Sam and Cab, and trying desperately to sell my script before the bambino comes, life is pretty busy.

Besides working, Madison is pretty much twiddling her thumbs in Saint John. Luckily, there are enough reasons to come to Halifax for a weekend here and there; having her hair highlighted by her favourite hairstylist being one of them. Hey, I didn’t say they had to be stellar reasons. (Wait a minute, I take that back: Seeing your stylist is a stellar reason.) KL is travelling and tends to book Fridays in Saint John, so she can hang out with Mad, and accompany her and Ben to the weekend Farmer’s