Welcome To My Nightmare

By Susan Ganger

What could be worse than being raped by someone in whom you placed your trust?

Thousands of veterans and service members know the answer to that question: being raped, and then being shunned and revictimized by your colleagues, comrades, and chain of command – the people with whom you live, work, and upon whom you depend for your very life – while they protect and even promote your attacker.

One U. S. Navy veteran shares her tale of innocence lost – and a soul reclaimed.

Susan Ganger recounts the tale of her rape by two shipmates, her chain of command's refusal to allow her to report the events, and how it lead her to attempt suicide.

Today, Susan is an activist, working to support victims of Military Sexual Trauma so that she may help heal the injured, and protect others from the things that she experienced.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Susan Ganger
• Release date: Dec 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301473496

Susan Ganger

Susan R. Ganger is a veteran and a survivor of MST. In addition to speaking in public forums to increase awareness and understanding of MST, Susan serves on the board of Protect Our Defenders, a non-profit organization dedicated to enacting better protections for those who protect us.

Book preview

Welcome to My Nightmare

An MST Survivor’s Story

By Susan R. Ganger

Cover Credits:

Cover design by LLPix Photography www.llpix.com

Title font Boston Traffic by Vic Fieger www.vicfieger.com

Cover photos by Todd Henry

Published by Susan R. Ganger at Smashwords

Copyright © 2012 Susan Ganger

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

For Todd, the one who walks beside me at all times,

and has never let me fall.

Without you, this book would never have been possible.

I love you!

Acknowledgements

Todd Henry - without you none of this would be happening. My story would still be untold, and I would be lost in this world. I love you more than words can say.

The Henry Family – thank you for accepting us as your own from day one. You are the family I was missing. I love you all.

My Children - because of you, I am still alive and kicking. You will always be my babies. I love you so much

Kirby Dick, Amy Ziering and all of those who made The Invisible War a reality - without this film my voice would never have been given back to me. I cannot thank you enough.

Jackie – you, sister, are AMAZING I am so proud to know and love you. Without you my dreams of a Rally in Ohio would never have come true. Big things!

Di Brown - without your knowledge of publishing this book would have gone no further than just a document on my computer. Haagen Dazs is on the way.

All the survivors who have spoken up - you paved the road I am travelling. Thanks for making it a smoother ride.

Last, but NEVER least, to all my friends that are my family - you have each played an important role in my life, and in this book. You have listened to me yell, scream, cry and laugh. You have given me your shoulders to cry on and always a listening ear. Each of you knows who you are. I love you all

Preface

According to Department of Defense (DoD) estimates, nearly 20,000 people are sexually assaulted in our Armed Forces every year. We may think of this as a women’s issue (and, indeed, the percentage of women who are assaulted is far higher than the percentage of men); but the ratio by which men outnumber women in our military is such that, in fact, a greater raw number of men is assaulted than women.

We may think of this as a military issue; but members of the military come from our homes, our families and our neighborhoods – and when their service is complete, they return there. As two wars rage on in the Middle East, many of our service members return home injured, and rely heavily on the Veteran’s Administration to help them reclaim some sense of normalcy, and find a way to live their lives. Some of these veterans suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), an illness which is only recently being treated as an injury of war, with the appropriate recognition that it is a wound, not a weakness.

There is a form of PTSD that is less well-known, and is only now starting to be recognized and addressed. It is called Military Sexual Trauma (MST). For many years, psychiatrists have recognized and treated Rape Trauma – but they are only now realizing the additionally debilitating effects of this type of trauma when it occurs in a military setting. In an environment where you may rely on your teammates for your very life, sexual assault is a betrayal of trust whose effects mirror incest as well as rape.

Like incest, members of the family often seek to protect the family unit – allowing the perpetrator to continue to abuse, and sometimes vilifying the victim or intimidating them into silence. Unlike incest, a military victim has little or no outside recourse. Legal appeals and social welfare