Cowbells, Cuckoo Clocks & Chocolate

By Mary-Anne Lavender

Ellie Rose is absolutely certain of two things - She loves to eat, and she loves to sleep.

Her life rumbles by in a never-ending circle of calorific over indulgence. She has no interest in the male species and actually why would she? A mint aero satisfies her in a way no man ever could!

Ellie is jolted out of her chocolate-fuelled existence when Agnes, her beloved grandmother, suddenly passes away. A cryptic poem, left in her will urges Ellie to travel to Wengen, a picturesque village in the Swiss mountains.

A leap of faith propels Ellie on a journey of self-discovery to Switzerland. Will it be all cowbells, cuckoo clocks and chocolate, or is it true, that there really is a touch of magic in this mountain village? Can Ellie finally find the courage to ditch the mint aero and learn how to live, laugh and love?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mary-Anne Lavender
• Release date: Oct 21, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301948062

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Cowbells, Cuckoo Clocks & Chocolate

Mary-Anne Lavender

Copyright 2012 by Mary-Anne Lavender

Smashwords Edition

Acknowledgements

This book would not have been possible, if it were not for the never-ending patience and support of my wonderful best friend and husband Peter. Truly, he deserves a round of applause - living with a girl who wanders through life with her head in the clouds is never without event, or indeed drama.

Thank you to my beautiful children Lucy, Oliver, Jamie, Katie & Aimee for sharing me with my writing. I have finished this book just in time for the summer holidays, and you have me all to yourselves!

I would like to thank my parents for their constant encouragement and support in writing this book. Thank you to Clare and Emma, my sisters - the laughs we have had over the years have definitely inspired some of my characters. Huge thanks to my wonderful editing team, Jackie and Emma – all of your hard work is very much appreciated. Thank you Pam, Dave, Jess, Sophie, Morgan, Paige, Aunty Sylvia and Lizzie. Thank you Jill for your guidance and Miss Taylor, my English teacher from school.

Lastly, I must not forget to mention Wengen. The lazy, warm summer days I spent there as a child will always be with me. This book is a ‘nod’ in gratitude to the small mountain village, that I do believe, holds a touch of magic.

About the Author

Mary-Anne lives in Fleet, Hampshire with her Husband and five children. This is her first novel.

Author’s Notes

This book is a work of fiction. I have used business names from Wengen in Switzerland and true family names from my Swiss relatives. However, any relation to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Mary-Anne Lavender has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

For Peter

1

Ellie’s dreams always end the same way. They usually begin with something totally random, such as flying across a canyon in a bikini with a herd of elephants. The dream will morph and suddenly she might be deep sea diving with cats, but finally and always vividly, Ellie would be running.

In her running dream Ellie is absolutely aware of every muscle in her body tensing and willing her forward. She inhales deeply through her mouth and exhales through her nose. As each foot lands she feels a satisfying thud ripple through her body. She runs faster and soon the impact of her strides are in time with her ever-increasing heartbeat. Smiling now, she looks down at her legs. Not an ounce of fat is to be seen on her lean, long, graceful limbs. Toned, bronzed and slim arms move with her body while she runs. She feels a deliciously warm sense of wellbeing that makes her want to laugh out loud. Somehow she knows that every aspect of her life is rich and full and she feels blessed. She breathes in deeply and closes her eyes as she lifts her head to the sun that gently warms her face.

And that was, as always, how the dream ended. Ellie lay blinking, quite frankly annoyed that she never got to see what happened next. The dream was still vivid in her mind and she could clearly imagine herself slim, toned and confident. Sadly, reality could be very unkind and as Ellie sat up in bed and looked down, she was dismayed to find that she still had the familiar roll of tummy hanging over her pyjama bottoms, and her legs and arms were most definitely not toned, nor were they slim.

Ellie stood and went to the mirror, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She squinted and looked closer – lipstick – on her forehead – words – must start diet tomorrow. Tutting to herself, Ellie grabbed a cleansing wipe and furiously tried to remove these offensive words while attempting to recall whether this was her best friend’s handwriting or her own.

In all truth, Ellie let her weight get in the way of too many aspects of her life. She often looked in the mirror and felt she was living in an aliens body and not her own. She was so blinded by the fact that she was overweight that she overlooked every good point she possessed. As she scrubbed at the lipstick words she did not see the large hazel eyes framed by the most stunning eyelashes most women would have a catfight with their mother for. She had the dearest nose, small, straight and utterly perfect. Her mouth was a perfect cupids bow, wide and yet full, always a flushed warm pink and usually smiling. Just not this morning.

Pouting, Ellie shuffled through to the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. She loaded her coffee cup with a heaped teaspoon of coffee and two sugars and popped a biscuit into her mouth while she waited for the kettle to boil. The hot coffee smelt deliciously enticing and just the aroma seemed to be helping her to come to. Ellie paused over the biscuit tin and selected a ‘nice’ variety. Well hello ‘Mr Nice’ and farewell. She popped him in with two bites and shuffled across the kitchen to peer into Olivia’s bedroom. Olivia was laying face down on her bed. Her head was turned towards the kitchen, her mouth was open and she was most definitely drooling.

Something white moved and caught Ellie’s attention. Her most prized possession, her Persian cat Jinx was on Olivia’s bed, busy kneading his claws on Olivia’s rose pink, silk cushion. He looked like he was in heaven, and desperately enjoying himself, almost smiling. He probably was. He seemed to detest Olivia although neither girl could understand why. Ellie didn’t have the energy to scold him and shuffled back to the kitchen for another biscuit before slumping down on the oversized, completely impractical white cotton sofa.

Ellie sipped at her coffee, relishing the warm liquid that slipped down her throat and warmed her tummy. Things had worked out better then Ellie could have imagined renting with Olivia. Best friends since the age of seven, their friendship had been firmly forged when Olivia offered to share her chocolate biscuit with Ellie, at their first play time together. The two girls had been firmly joined at the hip ever since. Living together was easy, natural, and their teensy two bedroom flat suited them down to the ground.

They had a small living room, and a hi-spec bathroom and kitchen, all of which had been totally decked out in the girls vintage and feminine sense of style. Both of their credit cards, Next account cards, and perhaps a few other store cards were maxed out, but a girl needed a chandelier over her small glass dining table, and a girl had a right to silk curtains, (even if they were faux). Delicate, mirrored plaques detailing phrases such as ‘live, love, laugh’ adorned the walls, and hearts and stars were a common decorative theme throughout the flat. Pretty, delicate trinkets however, were not the only similarities in these two girls, another was junk food, and a great deal of it.

Ellie had never been a small girl and she had always carried extra weight. She was always the last to be picked for p.e. in school, as classmates were unconvinced she could move fast enough to catch the ball. At college, Ellie was the bubbly, fun friend who would always cheer everyone up and was a blast on a night out. Now working, Ellie found herself to be the person everyone went to if they needed advice.

She didn’t mind especially, and felt a secret rush of glee and suspense when someone said to her, I need to tell you something, but can you promise not to say anything? Ellie had such a sensible head on her shoulders, she was perfect for giving advice and had therefore attracted a wide circle of friends who counted on her pearls of wisdom, some quite selfishly so.

Ellie was quite settled in her role as the chubby, fat friend and very much enjoyed keeping up the façade. However, it had to be admitted that since living with Olivia, the junk food addiction had definitely got worse. The girls’ metabolisms were totally opposite and while they could both consume vast amounts of junk food, Ellie remained stubbornly large while Olivia remained slim, toned and ridiculously confident.

Although Ellie’s will viciously fought her every day, Olivia was a good friend and persistently tried to help Ellie with her weight. This went as far back as junior school where the girls remembered lunch times as if they were yesterday. Ellie, having consumed her main meal and large pudding would now be salivating thinking of the seconds that might be on offer. Eight year old Olivia would turn to eight year old Ellie and say, what if you were to have a piece of fruit instead of more jam roly poly? Ellie would roll her eyes and stick her bottom lip out and grin, what if I DID have jam roly poly and what if YOU get the entire lunch break with my yoyo? And from that day on it was a standing joke that if Olivia gave in to her, she would be rewarded one way or another.

Olivia had upped the ante now that the girls were in their early twenties and had put Ellie on a few diets, well, quite a few actually. They hadn’t coped with the windy side effects of the vegetable soup diet terribly well, and the cramps were awful. The Atkinson diet was ridiculous, as Ellie happily ate mountains of egg, bacon and cheese morning noon and night until Olivia was convinced she would start squealing and clucking. The ‘Slim Quick’ diet was impossible. Ellie could not get past the fact that she wasn’t ‘eating properly’ and would have the shake, followed by ‘sneaky food’ – disastrous. ‘Happy Weight Watching’ was pretty good and could have produced results if only Ellie had been honest about the food she had eaten in her food tracker. She seemed to think that if she only stood on one leg she would only be consuming 50g of cheddar instead of 175g – and so obviously, this option was a non-starter too.

Just the night before, Olivia had hidden the box of beers that Ellie would soon be reaching for. She put them in the bottom of her cupboard and covered them with scarves. With a satisfied smile she put the key for the cupboard in her bedside table drawer. She found Ellie in the lounge snuggled up on the sofa, flicking through a magazine, pausing to draw moustaches on the most beautiful women featured.

I was thinking, she started what if we didn’t have pizza tonight. Ellie’s eyes snapped up from her magazine and narrowed at her friend. What do you mean, what if we didn’t have pizza tonight? We’re having dominos. I’ve even chosen. I’m going to have a medium half and half, with half pepperoni passion and half Texas barbeque. Surely you want your chicken dippers? Olivia made a face, actually, I quite fancy a salad. Ellie pretended to vomit and rolled her eyes. Rabbit food isn’t going to fill you up darling, what we need is pizza and beer, mmmmmmm. Ellie began rubbing her tummy in large circles. Do you know, I can already taste the tang of the tomato base of the pizza and how yummy it will be when I dip the crusts in the dear garlic and herb sauce. Ellie put her head back on the sofa and closed her eyes. Her face had an expression of pure bliss just at the thought and she made a loud lip smacking noise.

Half of the problem was that as soon as Ellie thought she was being prevented from having her treat she wanted it even more. She couldn’t help it. She could taste the food she desired and was unable to find the will to fight the urge - no matter how tight her trousers were and no matter what the bathroom scales told her. Olivia plopped down on the sofa next to her and curled up with her legs underneath her. You know I love you right? Ellie’s eyes narrowed again in suspicion, what do you want? At this point Ellie was slightly unnerved at how serious Olivia appeared to be. I want you to be happy, and I want you to be confident in yourself, but you’re not, and you know it. Ellie’s mouth formed a stubborn, thin line, knowing what was coming next. What if I do it with you? Olivia offered, much to Ellie’s amusement. There would be absolutely nothing left of you, you’re a stick as it is. Olivia conceded that actually, this probably wasn’t her best plan, and then her face lit up and broke into a huge smile. If you wont do it for yourself, do it for Agnes!! Ellie half gasped as Olivia emitted a strange, smug giggling sound. She had won! Ellie would do anything to please Agnes, her beloved grandmother who had been a huge influence throughout her life.

After a long silence and much pouting Ellie looked up. Ok… I’ll do it for Gran, Olivia started clapping, and you’ll let me be in charge? Ellie wearily took in Olivia’s over excited expression, eyes wide, big grin, hands clasped in prayer, yeah whatever. Olivia whooped and jumped off the sofa. You girl, she pointed, are going to be so HAPPY, so GORGEOUS, so CONFIDENT you wont know what hit you!!!! A pizza? Ellie mocked, looking at the ceiling. Now don’t be like that, you know it’s for the best. Look at your Mum, what do you call her when she’s been mean to you? Ellie looked away as she admitted, fatty boom boom. Exactly, Olivia chirped. If you had a daughter would you want her to be calling you that? Ellie quickly shook her head. Do you want diabetes type two and high blood pressure like your Mum? Ellie shook her head again, fast, like a naughty child. So we start in the morning, yes? Ellie was wondering if Olivia could look any prouder and begrudgingly agreed. She was quietly satisfied that Olivia was extremely pleased with her and grinned widely. So, if we’re starting tomorrow, does that mean we can party tonight? Olivia frowned but took pity on the bottom lip being out again. Ok, but this is it – understand!! Well!!! Ellie said, rubbing her hands together and picking up the phone and pizza menu, we had better make it a party to remember then.

So twelve hours on, Ellie sat on the same sofa still feeling quite bloated from the excesses consumed the night before. Pizza, side orders, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream plus the last of Ellie’s chocolate stash Olivia found hidden in a box labelled private and confidential. Ellie found the beer in the bottom of Olivia’s wardrobe – god knows what it was doing there? And between them in joyful celebration of new beginnings and a new, improved Ellie they had consumed the lot.

A vague memory of her and Olivia drunk and laughing until tears streamed down their faces, squeezing some of Jinx’s pooh through miserable Mr Reeve’s letterbox in the early hours of the morning, made her shut her eyes tightly in sheer horror and regret. Her last memory of the evening was collapsing on her bed as Olivia, still hysterical, loomed over her holding a bright red lipstick, an unusually evil look clouding her pretty face.

Stirring noises could now be heard from Olivia’s room and panicking, Ellie swept away telltale crumbs from the arm of the sofa and took a casual quick sip of her coffee. Olivia appeared in the doorway scowling. Your cat was sitting on my head. Jinx bolted out of Olivia’s bedroom, tangled in some pink thread, which he rolled around with on the lounge floor, swiping at it like an animal possessed. Olivia tiptoed around him and joined Ellie on the sofa. I feel dreadful. Did we drink ALL of the beer? Ellie closed her eyes as she nodded carefully, very aware of her heavy head. All. Absolutely every can, gone, no more, finito. Olivia’s mouth popped open, wow! That was a LOT of beer, and calories, she said, narrowing her eyes at Ellie.

Olivia was faring worse then Ellie, her small frame struggling to cope with the quantities consumed. Her tummy was unusually bloated and she looked completely dazed. Her stunning red hair hung in spirals around her face and her complexion was slightly green underneath the attractive smattering of freckles that covered her face.

Jinx abandoned the destroyed silk threads, waved his tail straight up in the air and strutted across the lounge to sit opposite Olivia. He curled his tail around his front paws and concentrated hard on looking menacing. Olivia closed her eyes tightly, breathed slowly and raised one finger Why. Is. He. Staring. At. Me? Ellie giggled, Because he hates you. Ok, well, enough with the psychotic cat – we need to track what you’re going to eat today. Yeah well, we’ll have to do it later I’m afraid mon amie, I’m meant to be at Gran’s in an hour, so I need to haul ass!! Ellie hoisted herself up from the sofa with a little moaning and groaning and quickly hobbled through to the bathroom.

Olivia frowned at the strange looking crumbs that lurked where Ellie’s bottom had just been. She was fuming, Oi! Eleanor Rose, have you been eating biscuits?…

2

Olivia was sulking about Ellie’s forbidden biscuit intake, and had moped off back to bed. She was now snoring gently underneath a mountain of duvet, closely monitored by a patrolling Jinx.

Ellie peered around the bathroom door and was relieved to see that Olivia had disappeared from the sofa. Ellie gnawed at her lip as she realised how close she had come to a stand off about ‘biscuit gate.’ She silently padded from the bathroom to her bedroom, giving Olivia’s bedroom door a wide berth.

Ellie let the bedroom door close gently behind her, dropped her towel and rummaged through her underwear drawer. She grabbed the first bra and knickers that she found. They didn’t match and they were not pretty. Ellie was always waiting for the day when she was slim enough to ‘deserve’ such a treat as lovely underwear and besides, with her track record with men, its not like she even needed to look pretty under her clothes.

She dressed quickly picking out a pair of dark blue jeans, which constricted tightly around her middle. Sighing she tried to tune out the uncomfortable sensation and whispered a mantra to herself, I will not buy larger jeans, I will not buy larger jeans. Ellie scrambled through her wardrobe pulling out a pretty bubble hem navy top covered in ditsy flowers. She gave her hair a quick blast with the hairdryer, scrunched it, added a little curling serum and left her natural waves to work their magic.

Ellie would probably describe herself as a girly girl. One of her favourite possessions was her many boxes and pots of Benefit make-up that happily adorned her make up shelf. She hummed as she worked through them, applying concealer, powder, eye shadow, blusher, lipstick and liner. One big sweep of her bronzer and she was done and she gave herself a satisfied nod in the light bulb framed mirror.

Quietly scolding Jinx for scratching the paint from Olivia’s bedroom door, she picked up her navy ballerina flats and grabbed her across the body bag. She opened the door latch as silently as she could, and then bolted before Olivia could stir and give her a lecture about how calorific biscuits were, especially eight at a time. Ellie was horrified to walk past Mr Reeves door just as he was opening it. Hey, good morning, it’s a lovely day, isn’t it Mr Reeves? She was scowled at, as Mr Reeves stood with a kitchen scourer and bleach in his hands. For some, he muttered, then bent and got to work on his letterbox. Ellie rushed out of the apartment block, convinced that Mr Reeves was going to notice her guilty expression and with this in mind she decided to make a run for it.

The car was only parked a mere ten metres from the front door, but when Ellie reached it she was gasping for air. Her chest felt tight and she was breaking out in a light sweat. Why people would do that for fun was beyond her, why get all hot and sweaty in the name of exercise? Ellie collapsed heavily into the car, which gave a small groan in protest. Morning Minty, she chirped, sliding the keys into the ignition. Olivia had never understood Ellie’s obsession of how every car had to have a name. Mind you, she had been duped into believing Ellie’s car was called ‘Minty’ because it was a high spec inside. The reality was, it was called ‘Minty’ due to the large quantities of mint aero, mingles and after eights, frequently consumed within it.

After a double check that Olivia’s present for Agnes was still on the back seat, Ellie negotiated out of the car park, saluting Mr Reeves who stood in the apartment entrance with his hands on his hips.

Minty, who was desperately in need of a service was making strange noises and was huffing and puffing up the motorway. The sweet car was desperately trying to keep up with the fancy, larger vehicles on parade and failing miserably. Come on Minty, be a good girl, Ellie cooed to the quivering car with an affectionate pat to the steering wheel. Minty responded by cleverly negotiating the sharp bend exiting the motorway and safely carried Ellie onto the dual carriageway.

Ellie took advantage of this angle to lean sharply to the left and flip the glove compartment open. Thank god Olivia didn’t know about this stash! She gratefully grabbed for any bar of chocolate, tore the wrapper open with her teeth, bit a piece off and sucked it. Hello, what are you? Well, good morning, Mr Mint Aero. She was happily humming one hundred minty bubbles in every bite, when her mobile phone rang. She dropped the chocolate bar in her lap and hit the loudspeaker acceptance button on the steering wheel.

It’s me, Olivia droned in a monotone voice. I still feel awful, she whined. Well, why don’t you go back to sleep? Ellie suggested. Can’t. Cat won’t let me. He keeps on meowing really loudly in my ear when I doze off. Ellie tried to suppress a giggle and bit her lip. So, are you at Agnes’ yet? Not far chick, not far. What are we having for tea? Can we have a roast? A long, tired sigh swept down the phone. "I don’t see how you’d lose weight with that option, you know full well how many roast potatoes you can put away. But, I suppose to be fair, apart from the pizza and drinks last night and biscuits this morning, you’ve been an angel….. Are you