Occupy This! Close That Sale

By Ira Levofsky

Closing, by definition are the final words spoken or last action taken prior to the decision happening in your favor. “Occupy This” is a book about recognizing the prospects buying signals, how to react to them and when to shut up.
Like the guys wife who screamed “get out of this house and never come back.”
“OK, I’m leaving.” Deal closed.
All she had to do was keep her mouth shut but she couldn’t resist speaking again and she says “I hope you die a painfully long and miserable death”
He is now confused and asks, “So I don’t understand; now you want me to stay?” The deal was closed but now there’s new conversation where there was once closure.
In this book we will investigate the reasons and methods to closing right now and not and having to come back to try and close the deal at a later date. Not talking after the close is where the rubber meets the road. Speak again and you chance reopening a wound which was not bleeding.
Look, we all know talking is a natural reaction. Painters paint, writers write, hookers relieve the day to day pressures of painters and writers to mention a few, and we salesman talk. When there’s money on the line and the presentation is done we zip our collective lips and wait anxiously for the one word that means the most to all of us. Yes.
We ask and wait but even the best of us sometimes break under the pressure. “I couldn’t take it any longer lord I went crazy, then the feeling came upon me like a title wave” Thank you Meatloaf for exposing the weakness in all of us.
It is the rare customer indeed who closes himself and says I’ve heard enough, I’ll take that one. These customers can usually be found in Ferrari car showrooms and the Bunny Ranch in Vegas other than that you had better ask everyone to buy then shut up and wait for the answer.
The problem with not waiting for the targets answer is that almost anything can come out of your mouth. Sometimes its factual, usually it’s an act of poorly concealed desperation and sometimes it’s just a bullshit statement or even an unintentional little white lie but out it comes.
This book is about preparing for the things that hurl you off track and how to keep your cool, tell the truth and get to the close. Shutting up is your problem.
I know it’s mine.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ira Levofsky
• Release date: Aug 18, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476350523

Ira Levofsky

Who is Ira D. Levofsky? He is one that believes that even though his message often third person, delivered with a heavy measure of whit, often politically incorrect and occasionally carrying a sense of artistic vulgarity carries an important message. The message that there are leaders in all walks of life who are not out enduring the heat of day, dodging the torrents of rain nor shivering from the cold while the sun sets on their assigned task. They cannot and often have never had the experience, the adrenaline driven thirst for success with each and every labor that envelopes your being, yet they lead. Though the modern day term may be Arm Chair Quarterback, the definition holds true throughout time and testament. By right of birth, serendipitous luck or earning the grade then forgetting the roots of the journey which brought them there, many sit upon their high perch directing those who will toil in their names. Their purpose, stature and often their very existence is based on your effort, your courage and your individual success at everything you do. This, my new friend, is a fact of life. The formidable challenge which I put before you in my written works as I have placed before myself daily in life is to succeed and lead in life itself, by example, deed and word. Sleep well in the fact that you have done the right thing, set the right example and completed the task at hand to the best of your ability satisfying your own expectations every day. If others shine due to your success or avoid one of life’s many pitfalls due to the lessons learned from your experience, then you are truly blessed. This is how I live and the true description of one Ira D. Levofsky which I put in place as my profile for purposes of this quick introduction. “It is easier to whisper advice from behind cover than to test its merit at the point of attack” (Unknown)

Book preview

Occupy This!

Close That Sale

You Going To Sign, Or What?

By

Ira Levofsky

Occupy This!

Close That Sale

Are You Going To Sign Or What?

By Ira D. Levofsky

Copyright Ira D. Levofsky 2012

Published at Smashwords.com

Copyright 2012 Ira D. Levofsky All Rights Reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyright hereon may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, Web distribution or information storage retrieval systems without the written permission of Ira D. Levofsky.

For permission to use material from this product, submit your request to [e-mail]

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Preface

The names, characters, actors, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.

This is a work of parody, as defined by the Fair Use Doctrine. Any similarities, without satirical intent, to copyrighted characters, or individuals living or dead, are purely coincidental.

Who would have ever thought that from the streets of New York would come a guy like me who had enough demand for his first book on selling that he followed up with a second one on closing that sale? But, here it is. And as I walk to the ATM to pay for the printing I am reminded of what Confucius said, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

I would like to once again thank Mike Swedenberg, a great author and accomplished artist in his own right for assisting me in getting both of my works published. Arguably one of the most on target guys I know (not talking about the bathroom here but I have heard no complaints from the cleaning crew so I imagine he’s on target there also.)

To my friends Kenny and Skip who heard all of the jokes in this book over and over again and will laugh one more time when they read them in print. Thank you for your support and friendship. To my wife Alison, same thing as last time, yada yada, love you too.

Mostly, to all of you who have supported my Dinosaur Droppings book, I hope you will enjoy this new book even more and maybe even learn a little something and tell others about it.

I can’t help but notice that despite the cost of living, living remains very popular. Speaking of the cost of living, I would like to thank all of you who offered your homes to me as I traveled to research this book. For the most part we stay in hotels because my wife screams in bed. Eventually everyone gets tired of hearing her scream no, so they might as well be strangers in a hotel.

Hopefully my books will help you live your life with a few more smiles and perhaps have a few more dollars in your pockets.

Enjoy.

Ira

Table of Contents

Introduction

To Close or Not To Close? - What a Stupid Question

Closing the Sale

Who Could Be That Stupid?

In The Days of Old

I Hate to Give Advice

Closing at the Highest Price

Occupy This

CSI

I Got Your Close Right Here

How to Close From Those Who Knows

Don’t Let Success Turn You into an Asshole

If You Can’t Open, You Can’t Close

Wanna Be Mexicans

You Can’t Close Everybody

Shit, I Wanted To Come First and Last

Never Give Up, Just Keep Closing

Introduction

To me, selling is like a horse race and all of the salesmen are like the horses. There are the favorites, the long shots, the first timers and the regular suspects. It doesn’t matter how many horses are in the race or the conditions of the track. The closer always has the best odds.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Wesellem Downs. There are 8 horses in the field today for this half mile contest. Conditions are good, the track is fast and the purse is winner take all.

The horses are in the gate. They seem very restless today, the tension is high and the anxiety so thick you can cut it with a knife. Jockeys are all focused and you can bet that they are fully aware that it is winner take all in this, today’s feature race. There’s the starter, the bell sounds and there off.

Cold Calling Fool taking the quick lead followed closely by I Need a Lead. Cherry Picker an early favorite is a close third on the inside rail. Still Planning, Bad Habits and Not a Clue bottled up in the middle of the pack with The Closer running at pace on the outside and See My Knockers trailing the pack dead last.

Around the far turn its I Need a Lead ahead by a length. Cherry Picker is posturing for position. Still planning and Not a clue falling back and See My Knockers making her move to 4th with The Closer running at pace on the outside.

Down the back stretch its I Need a Lead in the front, Cold Calling Fool has dropped to second and See My Knockers has galloped and bounced her way into third place. It's almost as if all the other horses just slowed down to watch See My Knockers go by and can you blame them, she’s a real beauty. I don’t know her fodder but I’d love to see her mudder.

It’s a lightning fast pace with The Closer still running well on the outside and the rest of the field dropping back out of contention.

Here they come around the final turn; I Need a Lead and Cold Calling Fool are neck and neck fighting for the lead with See My Knockers in third and moving up fast. The horses are running in record time for this winner take all contest.

Roaring down the final stretch, holy cow, it’s See My Knockers coming from out of nowhere ahead by a… hold on race fans, The Closer moves up on the outside into first place. Wow, what a move. It’s The Closer who will not be denied ahead by a length and a half.

At the wire The Closer wins by two lengths followed by See My Knockers in second, Cold Calling fool takes third. I Need a Lead, Cherry Picker, Still Planning, Bad Habits and Not a Clue rounding out the field. The Closer was certainly true to his name and won handily in this all or nothing contest.

Take it from me, this is the way it is guys. The closers always win. And remember when you’re the closer you can stuff a $20 in the waist band of see my knocker’s any time you want. So don’t hang around to watch her run. Close the deal and give her a tip after the show.

To Close or Not To Close

What a Stupid Question

Selling is all about closing and the simplest way to learn to close is to convince yourself that you can and must close every sale every time. Here are the perfect examples of each situation both closing and not closing.

Scenario 1 – You are a jewelry salesman and close a guy on a 4 carat $12,000 marquis diamond engagement ring.

After several trial closes you were successful by offering him the either or close on that marquis or a round stone. You limited his selection to utilizing the intelligence gathered during the probing portion of the sale.

While probing and selling the benefits of each stone you found out she had long slender fingers and assisted him in visualizing that long marquis shape and how it would look adding size and dimension to the ring. The brilliant stone would be filling her whole finger and being exactly what she would love to have, forever, without question.

How would you like to pay for that? This was all that was needed to close the deal after this masterful sales presentation.

He whips out his Amex and pays for it on the spot. Thanking you over and over and in his obvious excitement shaking your hand three times he bolts from the store and takes it home to his girl.

She says yes, he gets laid and everyone is happy. (Which we all know will slow down once the wedding ring is put on that very finger and eventually stop all together but we don’t care as long as we get the wedding band sale and a few referrals. On the flip side however, my wife told me she was going to start having sex with me again. At least until the cost of batteries comes back down.)

You the salesman happily count the commission putting aside $500 for your special celebration with your hooker and her big tits later that night. As you lay in that cheap motel room late that evening, your thoughts are filled with only one thing.

I love selling is all you say to yourself of as you drift off to sleep.

Scenario 2 – You fail to close and the guy holds off on buying a 4 carat $12,000 diamond engagement ring.

He tells you has to think about it and also thinks is a good idea to ask his future bride while he does the dinner dishes if she thinks she would like a round or marquis stone because he is confused by the choices, doesn’t want to make a mistake and wants her to really, really love it.

Your fault, you the not so professional salesman didn’t help him to make the decision for her as you should have during your outstanding feature heavy presentation. With little intelligence gathering and almost no questions asked you could not make a convincing argument for either shape of stone.

The lack of questions and worse lack of interactive questions left you with few clues offered from your excited, confused and now undecided meal ticket. He walked out of that door without the ring and worse, you let him leave without closing the deal.

It happens every day; you can’t write this stuff I tell ya. Well I can so here it goes. You failed to close and the guy holds off on buying a 4 carat $12,000 diamond engagement ring but he does give you something. A promise, he will be back tomorrow once she decides on the shape of the ring that she wants.

That evening at home you are eating dinner all excited because you have a big sale coming in tomorrow. In fact, at that very moment he is home drying the dinner dishes and asking her about the ring. He say’s pumpkin, in your diamond engagement ring, which is the token of my true and everlasting love for you, would you like a solitaire or marquis stone?

Out of nowhere with only that simple question for provocation she embarks on a journey unexplained throughout time and mankind. She freaks out as only a female can.

Not just any average hormonal female emotional outburst but a tirade with the level of pent up pre, mid and post menstrual verbal abuse typically reserved for when the store doesn’t have the shoes she just can’t imagine living without in her size. (Trust me on this one)

This woman is now a tightly wrapped assault just looking for a tear in the seam. And once this tear is found the vengeance escapes with wild abandon. This poor slob asked what he thought was a simple and wonderful question and was expecting a loving response. Instead, it was the question that tore the seam and out it came, raging like a storm at sea, dangerous, wild and without warning.

She starts beating on him like a rented mule (he beats it later that night in the bathroom). Close your eyes and you can almost feel the tension as you hear her berating him with more and more heated question after question and accusation after accusation.

Diamond?

You want to get me a diamond?

Can you guarantee that it is definitely a conflict free diamond?

Did you check the origin?

Do you know?

Do you even care?

Are you like totally aware of the living conditions and plight of those poor people endure to collect those stones just so we can have adornment on our hands?

You think those conditions are bad, you should try wearing that full length black coat and big hat in the summer in NYC on 47th st.Just ask my jeweler, Oy vey, hot, hot he’ll tell