Don't Tell Me To Get Over It: A Journey Through Grief

By Sylvia Berger

After the successive deaths of my mother and eldest son in 2001 my world came crashing down. I had to learn how to pick up the pieces and create a new kind of 'normal' for my other children and myself.
The journey through grief is a unique experience with no two people sharing the exact same emotions, reactions or methods of coping.
'Don't Tell Me To Get Over It' is my personal account of how I dealt with the pot pourri of emotions that resulted from the double loss and is designed to help others embarking on a similar journey through grief.
I also offer advice to those who find themselves in a support role. Death is often a taboo subject, causing discomfort, bewilderment and fear to many.
My story is an honest and poignant examination of the vast variety of emotions and challenges faced by the newly bereaved and their loved ones.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sylvia Berger
• Release date: Dec 27, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465952103

Sylvia Berger

I am 58 years young and live in a beautiful part of Tasmania (Australia's pristine island state). I have loved writing since an early age and have had four children's picture books published and numerous magazine articles. "Don't Tell Me To Get Over It" was my first e-book. I felt compelled to write the book after the tragic and untimely death of my eldest son at just 17."A Baby Boomer's Take on Life" was my subsequent e-book which comprises memories of my childhood/teens in the 60's and 70's.I have recently become a proud grandmother. My two precious granddaughters, Matilda and Hazel, are the lights of my life. I hope they will share my love of reading.

Book preview

Don't Tell Met To Get Over It – A Journey Through Grief

By Sylvia Berger

SMASHWORDS EDITION

Copyright © 2011 by Sylvia Berger

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author or publisher except for the use of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews.

This publication is sold with the understanding that the author is not engaged in rendering psychological or other professional services.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

A Final Word

INTRODUCTION

Are you grieving the loss of someone dear to you? Are there days when you wonder if you’ll make it through the darkness, and despair of ever feeling ‘normal’ again? Are you confused and frightened by the huge range of ever-changing emotions? Do you feel comfortable with the concept of death and confident in supporting those who are dealing with a loss?

If you answered yes to the first three questions and no to the last then reading my story may help you.

After the successive losses of my mother and eldest son, I found myself thrown into a whirlpool of grief and a world that had changed forever. This is an account of my journey through the heartache, fear and anguish. It is not intended to be a ‘self help’ book because no two people experience the same emotions.

Instead, it details my experiences and feelings, and my methods of coping. If you, too, have endured a loss, perhaps there will be elements of my story you can relate to, or identify with. It may help you come to understand your emotions and reactions on a deeper level, accepting and forgiving any imperfections in yourself.

The journey through grief is a long struggle, involving much soul-searching, an enormous amount of strength and the need for a good support network. Unfortunately many people find it extremely uncomfortable to deal with others’ grief and can inadvertently say or do the wrong thing.

If you find yourself unexpectedly thrust into a support role, be mindful of what you do, or do not say. Words are very powerful so choose them carefully. Time-worn clichés can actually add to a griever’s pain, as can silence.

Honesty is by far the best tactic. Rather than saying nothing, say, I am lost for words but if I can help in any way … or Words fail me but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Don’t offer advice on how YOU think the griever should deal with things. Instead offer a hug or offer to just listen, without judgment or comment. There are very few truly good listeners.

My own journey has been an enormous challenge. I have made significant progress but I have also had setbacks. I have learnt ways to cope and to keep on living in my changed world, but I also know that, as a mother, I will never ‘get over’ losing my child and, as a daughter, I will