Fifty ' Odd ' Poems

By Neil Davies

I have had a love of words ever since I can remember, in fact one of my earliest memories is coming home from school one day, rushing up to my father very proudly saying ‘Daddy, Daddy Mr Walters, ( Primary school headmaster) says I have a very good vocabulary. Daaa.........ad what’s a vocabulary?
Soon after, I discovered rhymes and on and off for years wrote poems for and about my colleagues and friends (some of these are included, ‘Love your headset’, ‘Pod from hell’ etc These may not mean much unless you work in a call centre environment but as increasing numbers do these days I thought it worth including them) and was told often they were good enough to publish so let’s go and see if they were right.
Please send any comments, positive or negative to my email listed in the book
Please though if you think they were poor please tell me why you think they were poor all feedback and constructive criticism gratefully received.
Or if you would like a poem on a particular subject or for an anniversary or special occasion drop me a mail and I will see what I can do.

regards
Neil Davies

• Language: English
• Publisher: Neil Davies
• Release date: Dec 26, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465821874

Neil Davies

I am fifty two years old and I have Parkinsons disease. This affects my mobility quite a lot but not my mind . I write my poetry as a way of keeping my sense of humour alive.I have been writing for quite a few years and my poems range from humourous things my daughters and granddaugher have said to obscene jokes transfered into rhyme and the meaning of life .I hope you enjoy your purchase. Please comment on my verses I would love to hear from you.Neil

Book preview

Fifty ‘Odd’ Poems

By Neil Davies

SMASHWORDS EDITION.

Published by

Neil Davies

Copyright 2011

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Grampa’s tears

Making Gampa Beautiful

Viagra Overdose.

Micky Mouse’s divorce

Father Christmas knows my daddy

All I want for Christmas

To see ourselves as others see us.

Cold callers

Stammer

Baby bear

Girl in the garden

Dentist’s chair

Twenty pound bargain

Parkinsons

Threesome

Moustache

Cocktail

Visually impaired rodents

The grand old duke

gift that went wrong, The

Nuns The

Grandads passing

My other Grandads passing

Hangover

The bodybuilder

Cinema Trip

Toothbrush

Traceys Physiotherapy class

Physiotherapist and the light bulb

Whats it all about then eh?

Dawn Chorus

Who da man?

Girl in the park, The

Saint Patrick

Golf swing

Eskimo

Marriage is like a restaurant

Next doors rabbit

Aeroplane trip

Cream cakes

Shakespeares local

Short on curlies

Love your headset

Pod from hell, The

Buzzwords

Acronym letter

How to call a Call acall centre

Smithy, The

Cross breed

Zoo, The

That magical moment

Mensa or denser

Happiest daysof your life

A note from the author

Dedicaton

Happiest days of your life

Don’t make me go to school today.

Oh Mam fach, don’t feel well.

Look at my complexion,

I’m burning up, look can’t you tell?

Don’t make me go to school today,

my pulse is much too quick.

My stomach’s doing somersaults,

I think I’may be sick.

Don’t make me go to school today

I really hate it there,

The children all ignore me.

It’s as if I’m just not there

Don’t make me go to school today,

I hate the thngs they say

‘Four eyes’ ‘Specky twat’ and worse

Teachers are cruel today.

Don’t make me go to school today

They’re all mad, they just don’t care

They put chewing gum on all my seats

And flick boogers in my hair

Don’t make me go to school today

I hate it, it’s not funny,

yesterday the school bully

made me ‘eat’ my ‘dinner’ money

You have to go to school today.

It won’t be a disaster,

Stand up to them don’t let them win.

It’s your first day…… as headmaster

A Grampa’s tears

On Britain’s got talent,

I watched Susan Boyle sing

‘I dreamed a dream’.

Now here is the thing.

I may look big and tough,

but deep down inside,

I 'm a real big softy

I admit