Ed The Elf: Collection #3 (Stories 9-12)

By Laura Fantasia

Boardroom Ed (Ed The Elf #9)
Ed is now a member of the board and Santa has charged him with cleaning out corruption in the Great Santa Corporation. However, in a double play by a corrupt member of the company, Ed finds himself due to be executed for the very crime he was asked to stop. Santa can't help him, so Ed's going to have to make his own way. Can he bring forth the truth and save his neck?

Old School Elf (Ed The Elf #10)
The X-11 Elf Suit has been stolen and Ed must get it back. In this hard boiled elf story, Ed takes out all the stops to get the suit back before it can be sold on the black market. However, can he live with what he must do to find it?

Elf Finale (Ed The Elf #11)
Santa has been taken by Jesus and is due to be executed. Ed and his friend Sunny must infiltrate the enemies lair and steal Santa from under their noses. Can Ed get in and out without losing himself or his friends?

Santa’s Savior (Ed The Elf #12)
Santa is severely injured and Ed must take on his role as Santa. Can he bring the seriously demotivated members of the company together to save Christmas? Download to find out!

Contents:
Word Count Total: 33,000
Word Count Ed the Elf: 13,000
Word Count Kill Box: 20,000
(Contains the collection Kill Box as a special Christmas gift from Lunatic Ink Publishing.)

Titles In This Series:
# Strippers And Stockings (Ed The Elf #1)
# The Jesus Race (Ed The Elf #2)
# Saving Ed (Ed The Elf #3)
# Elf Promotion (Ed The Elf #4)
# Santa’s Factory (Ed The Elf #5)
# Santa’s Stolen Suit (Ed The Elf #6)
# Kids Attack (Ed The Elf #7)
# The Jesus Bomb (Ed The Elf #8)
# Boardroom Ed (Ed The Elf #9)
# Old School Elf (Ed The Elf #10)
# Elf Finale (Ed The Elf #11)
# Santa’s Savior (Ed The Elf #12)

Collections:
-- Ed The Elf: Collection #1 (Stories 1-4)
-- Ed The Elf: Collection #2 (Stories 5-8)
-- Ed The Elf: Collection #3 (Stories 9-12)

Total Packages
Ed The Elf: The Total Package (Stories 1-12)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lunatic Ink Publishing
• Release date: Dec 21, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465874665

Laura Fantasia

Laura Fantasia is a pen name of Kenneth Guthrie of Lunatic Ink Publishing.

Book preview

Your task, if you choose to accept it, is to clean up corruption in this company, Santa said to Ed in his top story office.

Ed had gotten himself the promotion of a lifetime. Santa had called him in the moment that he had returned to work after the ‘Jesus Bomb’ incident that had rocked the foundations of the Great Santa Corporation and elicited an ongoing conversation with god that would forever change the way that the angels and the elves dealt with one another. Ed walked out of the man’s office that day a member of the board of directors. Now he was getting his orders.

I accept, sir, and gladly. It is high time that we fixed some of the problems that exist within this company.

Santa nodded. Ed had heard that he was going to AA now and that things were really changing for him. He’d even gotten back with Mrs. Claus and the kids. Ed hoped it would last this time.

Good then. I will expect big changes from here on out and big things from you, Ed Hendricks.

Ed grinned. He was ready to create that change.

*****

So you aren’t going to come and audit me are you? Sunny said.

I might. What dirty stuff are you not doing?

Sunny laughed. Ed had made sure that he got a leg up in the company as well and Sunny was now enjoying his top floor office as the 1st sales department’s manager.

Nothing you’d be interested in, but I might have something for you.

Ed glanced over at Sunny. Since Ed had taken the board position, they occasionally shared information. It was a good relationship and Sunny usually had a way of finding reliable sources. If what he had paid out then Ed would make sure that Sunny was rewarded.

Do you know about the shredding parties that the accounting department is supposed to have every so often to hide all the corrupt stuff they get up to?

Ed shook his head. This was the first time for him hearing about this.

Well, I hear they are due for the mother of all shreddings.

Really, what do they have to hide?

Sunny’s eyebrows went up.

More than you know, I imagine. A lot of the units are towing the line lately more than normal. They are afraid of you.

Ed laughed. He was a one eyed 123 year old elf. He wasn’t much threat to anyone.

Thanks, Sunny. I’ll look into it.

Ed left Sunny to his work and went back to his office. If the accounts department were shredding that meant Ed might be able to catch them at it.

He opened his drawers and pulled out his binoculars. Maybe it was time for a stake out. He’d have to stock up on milk and cookies.

*****

6pm: Two elves are loading up paper into the big shredder out back. No sign of any intent to shred more than normal. End of message.

He watched the elves moving in and out of the vehicle dock area. They had the special badges of information supervisors, which meant that they were allowed to be in this area of headquarters and could shred whatever they were given to shred. These guys were not the ones he was hoping to see.

Time passed and Ed finished his cookies and broke out another bottle of milk. It was getting late and he had been here all day.

He glanced at the clock on the wall of the small office that he had quietly commandeered. It was 9pm. He should probably pack it in for the day and go to bed at his new apartment just outside of headquarters. The shredder would be shut down soon and that meant that there wouldn’t be any shredding going on until the morning.

One of the information officers went out and turned the shredder off with the big gold key used to lock and unlock the big blades. The day was over.

Ed got up and started to pack his things. He had made quite a mess of the office while waiting and it took him a rather long time.

He took one final look out the window.

Hello? What are you up to? he said to himself.

He watched the young elf walk out to the shredder. He was not a part of the information management department and had no badge. The elf was holding the gold key that unlocked the shredder.

Ed got out his binoculars from his briefcase and focused in. The elf was wearing a cleaner’s uniform and looked afraid. Ed wondered what he was up to. This was certainly not the expected behavior from this type of employee.

A group of ten shadowy figures stepped out from the door. One of them walked out into the light and met the elf near the shredder.

Shanks?

His old boss had risen in the ranks of the Great Santa Corporation and was one of the administrative managers for the company in a smaller department. It was ironic that the man hated dealing with paperwork, but managed a department that did that exclusively.

The two elves shook hands and Shanks handed him a thick yellow envelope. The man popped the top and inspected the contents. Ed could see the green and red dollars that the continent used as its primary currency. This was the corruption that Ed was charged with stopping happening right in front of him.

Elves with dozens of boxes stacked high shuffled out of the doorway and walked to the shredder. Shanks went over and put the key in. It only took a second before the engine that ran the machine was purring like a cat ready to consume its dinner.

Ed watched as the elves started to shred document after document. Shanks was probably getting paid to filter what was coming through his department and save it up for this. The accounting department kept its hands nice and clean and Shanks did all the dirty work – for good pay, of course.

It all made him angry. Shanks had been a good enough boss and was a good man when he wanted to be – Ed even owed him for saving him from the three ghosts of Christmas. Yet even with that, could he turn a blind eye to save an old workmate a little shame and probably being executed – the punishment for fraud on the continent? Should he?

Ed looked down at Shanks. He was abusing his power in the Great Santa Corporation. It was elves like him that were rotting this company from within. Ed couldn’t back down. He was going to need to take Shanks down to save the company and Santa.

He stood up. He was going to need evidence if he wanted to get a conviction.

Running through the door, he leapt down the stairs. All he would need would be a box of those documents. If they were incriminating enough then he would have his case.

He slowed at the door and carefully pushed it open. No one was looking his way – they were all too busy with getting the paper in the shredder. Ed was safe to sprint along the wall to the boxes.

Moving as fast as he could, he skirted some trash cans and jumped up on the dock. One of the elves cried out as he bent down to scoop up a nice full box.

GET HIM! Shanks screamed.

Ed ran through the door and sprinted down the hallway beyond. He could hear elves running after him.

He rushed through the halls puffing and wheezing as he went. A few months in hospital hadn’t done him much good. His body wasn’t what it used to be before he was burnt during the Jesus Bombings.

He rushed up the steps and smashed into something firm. He looked up to see one of the reindeer guards that patrolled the building in the evening.

What are you doing here? he asked.

Ed pushed himself up on one elbow. He was a little dazed and it was hard to think straight.

Stop that man. He’s shredding documents illegally.

Shanks had arrived.

The reindeer looked from Ed to the box of documents that had half spilled out on the floor.

Is this true?

Ed tried to speak, but Shanks belted him hard in the head with what turned out to be a stapler.

He’s guilty. We need to take him to the cells.

The reindeer looked doubtful. He was probably wondering what was going on here.

Ok, you’re coming with me.

Ed tried to struggle, but his head was in agony. He was dragged to his feet.

I’m innocent. He’s the one that is doing this not me.

The reindeer cocked his head and laughed.

That’s what they all say.

Ed’s heart sunk. He had set out to stop corruption and now here he was accused of it.

He looked back. One of Shanks men was carrying the box away. He was in real trouble.

Ed, I can’t believe that you were involved in this kind of thing, Santa said.

I’m not, sir. They made this up to hide their guilt.

Santa looked hard at Ed.

They evidence is clear. Shanks has documented evidence of fraud leading back to when you were working in the factory.

That can’t be. I have never committed fraud.

The paper doesn’t lie, Ed.

Santa put