Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    The Gits of Heaven
    The Gits of Heaven
    The Gits of Heaven
    Ebook7 pages4 minutes

    The Gits of Heaven

    By Matt Simon

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    The latest installment of The Heaven Chronicles: Liz 'the one-armed bandit' Morris heads to her plastic surgeon whilst Down Under we find out the outcome of the fight on the balcony.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMatt Simon
    Release dateJan 22, 2011
    The Gits of Heaven

    Read more from Matt Simon

    Related to The Gits of Heaven

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS

      May 18, 2023

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS
      7 min read

    • Article

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS

      Aug 5, 2021

      profanisaurus@viz.co.uk aroma diffuser 1. n. A scientific device that breaks “essential oils” down into smaller molecules, dispersing them into the air for a pleasant or calming effect on the gullible. 2. n. The arsehole. Barbie’s minge sim. Somethin

      8 min read

    • Article

      When Life Bites

      Sep 14, 2020

      When Life Bites
      6 min read

    • Article

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS

      Jan 5, 2023

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS
      8 min read

    • Article

      Return Of The Bores

      Mar 9, 2022

      All bores are boring but not all boring people are bores. There are plenty of innocent folk who like nothing more than to share their anxieties about the village fête with you – and they’ll do it for 20 minutes you’ll never get back. Yet these are ju

      3 min read

    • Article

      Last Orders

      Jul 28, 2021

      Last Orders
      5 min read

    • Article

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS

      Nov 17, 2022

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS
      7 min read

    • Article

      The Man I Should Have Married

      Dec 29, 2019

      The Man I Should Have Married
      11 min read

    • Article

      Four Of A Kind

      May 3, 2023

      Four Of A Kind
      4 min read

    • Article

      LeTteR Bocks

      Aug 4, 2022

      ◻PLEASE find attached this trademark from a box of eggs, which appears to show a chicken lifting its leg to crack off an eggy one. Susan Butcher, Australia ◻FORMER Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been criticised for meeting an ex-KGB agent without h

      13 min read

    • Article

      SCARS On The SOUL

      Jan 12, 2020

      I’m standing in a fiercely lit changing room, waiting for Joao-from-Portugal to bring me smaller jeans and a bigger top. I used to think ‘Joao’ was a totally exotic name until I visited Lisbon and realised that every second man in Portugal is called

      2 min read

    • Article

      Unreality Television

      May 27, 2020

      Unreality Television
      4 min read

    • Article

      Letter To A Dying Friend

      Oct 20, 2021

      Letter To A Dying Friend
      4 min read

    • Article

      THE DUKE OF Edinbrough Hotel

      Nov 13, 2019

      THE DUKE OF Edinbrough Hotel
      6 min read

    • Article

      My Boring Heart Condition

      Jun 28, 2023

      My Boring Heart Condition
      3 min read

    • Article

      Cricket League

      Sep 1, 2022

      First prize 10 and under Tang Li, age 9 Palmetto Bay, FL My name is Anisa. I was in Hawaii on vacation. I enjoyed sipping refreshing drinks, overlooking the turquoise ocean, and dancing with others, before I overheard that the priceless Fire Ring wa

      10 min read

    • Article

      LeTteR BocKS

      Jun 24, 2021

      SCIENTISTS say that in the future, all meals will be in the form of a pill. Let’s hope they are right, and they don’t develop them in the form of a suppository. I think that would make dining out a most unpleasant experience. Umberto Coaltit, Hull YO

      13 min read

    • Article

      Roger's PROFANISAURUS

      Nov 19, 2020

      Roger's PROFANISAURUS
      8 min read

    • Article

      Life In The past Lane

      Aug 27, 2021

      Life In The past Lane
      5 min read

    • Article

      Falling In Love

      Feb 17, 2020

      Falling In Love
      4 min read

    • Article

      Good Books Make Good Fuel

      Sep 21, 2022

      Is it time to burn my books? My wife has already told me she is getting rid of the lot the moment I go. So, given the cost-of-living crisis and the rocketing price of fuel, is this the year for me to clear the grate and set a match to all my treasure

      3 min read

    • Article

      Hello, Grim Reaper

      Dec 15, 2021

      She was a babe. A fully paid-up, card-carrying babe. There was absolutely no doubt about it, and she was heading straight for me. She was almost sprinting towards me across the recently reimagined lobby of Claridge’s. She looked up, her scarlet-anoin

      3 min read

    • Article

      Passion Killer

      May 17, 2021

      Passion Killer
      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for The Gits of Heaven

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      The Gits of Heaven - Matt Simon

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1