Deadache...(A spoof about killer headaches!)

By Jacob Ray

Talk about killer headaches! This uproarious poke at a bestselling book about a magic cake is side-splitting and served up cold!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jacob Ray
• Release date: Jul 27, 2010
• ISBN: 9781452381787

Jacob Ray

THE #1 Bestseller in Books on Suicide & THE #1 Bestseller in Books on Extreme Sports has come to SmashWords!! Share the joy of reading these spellbinding books on your Sony Reader Digital Book, iPad, or ANY computer or cellphone or PDA that goes online!!!! Let bestselling Author, Jacob Ray show you how he made his debut novel, "The Ride Home" a smash hit on the Kindle Handheld Reading Device!!!!!Paperbacks of all titles exclusively on www.Amazon.comAbout the Author:Jacob K. Ray is an Alabama native surfing and writing in San Francisco and is the author of five books, all released this year (2009): The Ride Home,Pig-Skinned,The Bridge Burners, The Undead of the Low Country, The Tongueless Language, and The Jets of Enceladus. After moving to California upon completing undergraduate work in Behavioral Psychology at Queen's College, in Charlotte, NC (Now, Queen's University),Dr. Ray enrolled at Argosy University (SF-Bay Area Campus) and graduated with a Doctoral Degree in Clinical Psychology. Dr. Ray specialized in brain damage assessment and worked at pioneer programs.Dr. Ray is the son of writer Cassandra King and the step-son of writer Pat Conroy. Guess who influenced him to write? Dr. Ray's brutal books delve deep into the disturbed psyches of its addled cast of unforgettable characters. Don't miss any of these titles, recommended for mature readers only.

Book preview

Deadache…

A Novella by Bestselling Author

Jacob Ray

Smashwords Edition Copyright 2010 by Dr. Jacob K. Ray

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Prologue

I was never a sinister person. I never wished harm on another soul.

All of a sudden, it happened to me after taking the pain medicines. I became encumbered by a strange and deadly power. This gift of mine scarily inserted itself into my life. Now, everything is topsy-turvy and people are dropping like flies around me. I stew in rage. I feel that familiar twitch and then it happens… All of them go right after it puts me on the floor. They can't prove it's me. I have dodged the long arm of the law so far, but the time will come when the guilt will win.

Until then, I have decided to use my new found powers for good. I have decided to go on a killing spree. I'm going after the people we all hate.

They will finally fall and be silenced.

I'm going after the crooks who got away with it. I'm going after the priests who got away with it. I'm going after the child abusers who got away with it. I'm going after the executives who stole all our money and ruined our country. I'm going after the religious fanatics, both Christian and Muslim. I'm going after the lawyers who get those people off we know are guilty. I'm going after the politicians who won't bend. I'm going after the lobbyists who bribe policy makers. I'm going after the hate groups we tolerate only to honor the Constitution. I'm going after the oil company tycoons and the timber industry captains.

Before it all comes crumbling down, I'm going to do the whole world a favor. I am going to take out the world's biggest little problem.

But, I'm taking care of my country first…

Chapter 1

My name is Gregory Simms. I live in bustling Atlanta, Georgia. I am originally from Slidell, Louisiana. I moved here for journalism school and stayed.

I have always had headaches.

Ever since early childhood,

I crumbled underneath their cruel scepter. I spent many hours under the cold showers and with ice packs on my wailing skull, all for little relief. My frantic mother doctor-shopped me around constantly as the bills from specialists piled up and neurology threw up it's collective hands at my suffering endlessly from the gates opening and flooding me with bone crippling pain. I was frail from exhaustion. I was making my father toil over three jobs to pay the costs of having a child with severe migraines that no one could stop. I was missing