Journeys of Hope and Love

By David Case

"Journeys of Hope and Love" is a memoir of the author's experiences during the final six months of his wife's life as they took two journeys together; the first in search of a miracle cure for her terminal disease and the second to revisit Japan, where they met and fell in love over forty years earlier. It is a story that, above all, illustrates the power of love to overcome the finality of death.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Case
• Release date: Oct 16, 2010
• ISBN: 9781458196057

Book preview

PROLOGUE

This is the true story of both the physical and spiritual journeys that my beloved wife Kinuko and I took together during the last six months of her life. It is an odyssey of love, pain, sadness, and spiritual growth that ends with a message of hope. It is the story of Kinuko’s courageous battle with cancer and my efforts to keep her from walking through death’s door. It has been over ten years since our final journey ended and it has taken that much time for me to sort it all out and tell our remarkable tale.

Many readers may find parts of this account improbable and unbelievable but every word is true. Unfortunately, the questionable aspects of my experience cannot be subjected to scientific scrutiny and, thus, cannot be verified. My daughter, Katherine, who was there with me at the end of the final journey can confirm what happened then and close friends can attest to what I told them about the events shortly after they occurred. Consequently, the truth of what I have written here can be confirmed solely by hearsay and would not hold up in court. Be that as it may, every word is true.

I decided to write about these experiences because I believe that the telling offers the possibility of hope to others and may serve to provide a sense of direction to those who may find themselves faced with making some of the same decisions that I had to make. Also, some of my account may provide confirmation for those who have had similar experiences but have been reluctant to make them public.

To set the record straight, although some of my story concerns spiritual matters, I am not a deeply religious person by the usual definition. Basically, I am an agnostic. My life experience has brought me to the conclusion that most of what people believe, no matter which religious doctrine they follow, is purely a matter of faith. Belief in God and in all things spiritual requires absolute faith because there is no empirical, scientific evidence to support those beliefs. Though we may occasionally encounter incidents that tend to support our personal belief system, such evidence is generally ephemeral, making indisputable scientific verification of the evidence impossible. In the end, we are left with only our faith to confirm what we have seen or experienced. that is beyond the boundaries of reality.

Even if something happens in our lives that provides us with hard evidence of things beyond understanding, it is rarely, if ever, possible to replicate that evidence. Therefore, our experience is unprovable. Even when they are confronted with evidence of an unexplainable metaphysical phenomenon, many scientists will turn their backs on the event and say something like, Even though I am confronted with evidence that this unexplainable phenomenon exists, I must deny its existence because it is not possible!

Such is the evidence presented in this account of our journeys and my experiences before and after Kinuko’s death. Personally, I would welcome scientific scrutiny if my memory and my sworn testimony to verify what happened could be subjected to it. In that regard, I would willingly offer to take a polygraph, be hypnotized or take any other test devised to establish the veracity of my account.

So, I invite you to accompany me on these journeys with an open mind. If you do so, you will surely find Hope and Love!

CHAPTER 1

On that fateful day in April 1997, Kinuko and I could not believe our ears. The Enterologist was calmly telling us that Kinuko had terminal cancer and only six months left to live. Apparently, the tumor had started in her stomach and spread to her esophagus and other organs to the extent that it was inoperable. Because of the number of organs involved, radiation therapy was also not an option.

The entire scene was grotesque! I felt like someone had slipped a hangman’s noose around my neck! I was listening to a complete stranger tell me that my wife of 42 years, my best friend and soul-mate, was going to die and there was nothing in the world that I could do about it. My throat constricted and breathing became difficult. God only knows what brain-numbing emotions were assaulting Kinuko! To add to the bizarre nature of the scene, the doctor yawned a huge yawn in the middle of his announcement. I understand now that it was undoubtedly a nervous reaction to a very uncomfortable situation but, at the time, it seemed obscene; as if the topic of Kinuko’s impending death was a great bore!

For Kinuko’s sake, I tried to remain calm and ask the right questions. Five months earlier a Sonnagram had been taken in response to Kinuko’s complaint of a nagging discomfort in her stomach. The results were negative and the problem seemed to subside during the holidays. Toward the end of January, it flared up again but, as she had previously had an ulcer, we decided that the same malady had reared its’ ugly head again. Kinuko didn’t want to see our doctor because she hated medical exams. However, after a few weeks of continual discomfort, I finally persuaded her to return to our internist for further evaluation. She did, and he ordered an Upper GI. As that test revealed a suspicious anomaly, the Enterologist entered the picture and he prescribed a CT-SCAN. The results of that test led to our conference.

I could not understand how the onset of the disease had been so sudden and extensive and why the results of the Sonnagram, taken five months earlier, had been negative. The Enterologist sort of skirted the question and simply restated his final diagnosis. I asked him to estimate how long it had taken the cancer to progress to its advanced stage. He replied, At least a year. This response further mystified me. I told him that we would like to get a second opinion and he obligingly had his nurse arrange an appointment with a specialist in Oncology at the University of California Cancer Center at Davis, near Sacramento.

When Kinuko and I left the doctor’s office we were numb with shock and said little to one another on the way home. I know that my face was already wet with tears when we arrived.

After we went inside the house, we went directly to our bedroom where we clung to each other and cried uncontrollably. As our tears finally subsided, Kinuko put her arms around my neck and her dark brown, tear-filled eyes fixed on mine. At that moment, she gave me the greatest gift that any woman could give to her husband. She said, I just want you to know that I don’t regret one moment of our lives together. In spite of the difficulties we have faced, you have made me very happy and I love you.

Needless to say, that brought on another round of tears. I told her that I refused to let her die; that I would do anything and everything I could do to save her. I had always felt that I could protect Kinuko from any harm she might encounter. I had always seen myself as her knight in shining armor. However, I had never faced a dragon as formidable as Cancer!

CHAPTER 2

Kinuko was Japanese. Born on the southernmost island of Kyushu, she had lived through Word War II. Her home town of Kita-Kyushu City was near