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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893
    Ebook81 pages37 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893

    By Various Various and F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 27, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893 - Various Various

      The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893, by Various, Edited by F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, May 6, 1893

      Author: Various

      Editor: F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand

      Release Date: August 28, 2008 [eBook #26454]

      Language: English

      Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

      ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOLUME 104, MAY 6, 1893***

      E-text prepared by Lesley Halamek, Juliet Sutherland,

      and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team

      (http://www.pgdp.net)

      Punch, or the London Charivari

      Volume 104, May 6th 1893

      edited by Sir Francis Burnand

      A PATHETIC LAMENT.

      (Respectfully addressed to one of the Promoters of the Anti-Advertisement League by a Repentant Subscriber.)

      I.

      Being gifted with decent taste and a sensitive eye,

      I have never been much beguiled

      By advertisements, crude in colour, and ten feet high

      (Which, in fact, I rather reviled);

      And, as for gigantic signs swinging up in the sky—

      They drove me perfectly wild!

      II.

      Then the lurid posters on paling and chimney-stack

      Were the terror of every town—

      Till a League was started by Mr. William Black

      For the purpose of putting them down;

      And the sympathetic invited its efforts to back

      With an annual half-a-crown.

      III.

      So I cheerfully paid the fee, and my name was enrolled,

      And a solemn oath I swore;

      (As is usual on such occasions,—or so I'm told)

      That, in future, no shop or store

      Which aggressively advertised any article sold

      I would patronise any more!

      IV.

      But that mad rash oath I recall with a vain regret,

      As I brood in bitter complaint,

      On the number of useful things that I'm dying to get—

      And my conscience tells me I mayn't!

      As their various virtues are vaunted in letters of jet,

      Or gaudier gilding and paint!

      V.

      I should like to be clean if I could—but I cannot cope,

      Without saponaceous aid,

      With a shower of London smuts—and I'm losing hope,

      Getting daily a dingier shade,

      In a futile search for a genuine Toilet-soap

      That has shunned meretricious parade!

      VI.

      My villa would be—when it's furnished—the cosiest nest,

      But I fear it is doomed to be bare;

      For upholsterers' puffs are now a persistent pest,

      And so shamelessly each will declare

      His Elegant Dining and Drawing-room suites are the cheapest and best—

      That I daren't choose so much as a chair!

      VII.

      I would fly to the Ocean shore, or the Continent,

      To escape from a lot accurst;

      But here, by my own parole, I'm a prisoner pent!

      I must find a Company first

      That doesn't resort to obtrusive advertisement—

      And the Railway ones are the worst!

      VIII.

      And now I'm developing symptoms of bodily ills,

      But, however sanguine I've felt,

      Of a cure from So-and-So's Syrup, Elixir, or Pills,

      Or his Neuro-magnetic Belt—

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