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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, April 29, 1893
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, April 29, 1893
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, April 29, 1893
    Ebook86 pages39 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, April 29, 1893

    By Various Various and F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, April 29, 1893

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, April 29, 1893 - Various Various

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104,

      April 29, 1893, by Various

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, April 29, 1893

      Author: Various

      Editor: Francis Burnand

      Release Date: January 23, 2008 [EBook #24408]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

      Produced by Lesley Halamek, Juliet Sutherland and the

      Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

      Punch, or the London Charivari

      Volume 104, April 29th 1893

      edited by Sir Francis Burnand

      WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE VERY SHY ONE) HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

      Affable Stranger. "Ullo, Mister, there you are! I say, that was a Racy Bit you gave us last week, about the 'Cat And The Fiddle'! Quite in Your Old Form, eh!"

      [Digs him in the ribs with his Umbrella.

      Our Artist. You're very kind, but—a—I—a—I fear I haven't the pleasure of your Acquaintance—a——

      Affable Stranger. Hoity-toity me! How proud we are this Morning!

      [Gives him another dig, and exit.

      STRAY THOUGHTS ON PLAY-WRITING.

      From the Common-place Book of The O'Wilde.—The play? Oh, the play be zephyr'd! The play is not the thing. In other words, the play is nothing. Point is to prepare immense assortment of entirely irrelevant epigrams. Epigram, my dear Duke, is the refuge of the dullard, who imagines that he obtains truth by inverting a truism. That sounds well; must lay it by for use. Take Virtue, for instance. Virtue offers a fine field for paradox, brought strictly up to date. Must jot down stray thoughts. (Good idea in the expression Stray Thoughts. Will think over it, and work it up either for impromptu or future play.) Here are a few examples:—

      (1) Be virtuous, and you will be a County Councillor.

      (2) Nothing is so dull as a life of virtue—except a career of vice.

      (3) Virtue, my dear Lady Chillingham, is the weakness of the masses, acting under the force of their circumstances.

      (4) Virtue, no doubt, is a necessity; but, to be necessary, is the first step to abolition.

      (5) If you wish to become virtuous, you have only to be found out.

      (6) There is nothing a man resents so much as the imputation of virtue.

      (7) Virtue, my dear Horace, is a quality we inculcate upon our wives mainly by a lack of example.

      (8) I want to be rich merely in order to have the chance of overcoming the difficulties in the way of being virtuous. Virtue on a pound a week is so easy as to repel all but the indolent and worthless.

      So much for Virtue. Repentance may be treated according to the same formula.

      (1) My dear boy, never repent. Repentance leads inevitably to repetition.

      (2) Repentance is like a secret. If you keep it to yourself it loses all interest. Nobody can repent on a desert island.

      (3) To repent is to have been unsuccessful.

      (4) Not to be repentant is never to have enjoyed.

      (5) Repentance in a man means nothing more than an intention

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